I think we can all agree the real villain in Qala is systemic patriarchy
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@trashhmuffinn
I think we can all agree the real villain in Qala is systemic patriarchy
Everyone is like ‘Project Hail Mary is about the greatness of humanity’ project Hail Mary is about love’ or ‘it’s about overcoming obstacles’
NO
It’s about a man and his best friend….
…who happens to be an alien
New vocal stim for April 2026 - ‘Yedi hogayi hai kya bacchi’
Everyone who was into slap bands as a kid is into bdsm now
my revolutionary idea for bollywood is having typical funny bollywood romcoms but starring women. both of them are women. you see the potential for lesbian jab we met right. the villain will be incel ranbir kapoor tries to phasao his lesbian friend until she frees herself from the shackles of heteronormativity and freaks to women until he walks out of her wedding. it will star katrina kaif because 1. she needs revenge against him and 2. she made me gay
My pitch:
Ranbir plays a business bro in some mega dick measuring Fortune 500 type business scheme in Mumbai. His NRI, Harvard degree in Gender Studies "don't work I make enough for both of us" trophy wife is Katrina Kaif (high femme, red lipstick, Anais Nin core). They are like Connor and Willa from Succession except she genuinely dgaf about that man, her parents and his parents just swam in the Ambani pools together.
Then, a bright eyed intern joins the office (played by some newbie with talent who is NOT nepo) and ofc Ranbir being gross and annoying makes HR violating moves against her, because that is the kind of man HE IS IN REAL LIFE. And to "smooth over some details" he keeps invading her boundaries and brings her over to his place. At his disgusting showy Bandra penthouse (are there penthouses in Bandra), she meets his wife and they bond over the fact that they both want Ranbir dead. This then sets off a friendship that culminates in aesthetic sequences by the Marine Drive. Preferably in the monsoon so people know this is a tasteful subversion of Wake Up Sid.
Eventually it is revealed that Ranbir has been serially cheating on his wife for decades (Deepika uncredited voice role informs Kat on the telephone), and then the two women, intern and wife, decide to achieve gender equality, by proceeding to have a torrid affair with tastefully filmed love scenes that are set against the tunes of a Filmfare winning OST by Pritam Chakraborty created by stealing tunes from seventeen different albums released in the States during the Bush administration. There is a club scene. SRK makes an appearance at the nightclub and says "Arre bhai, main toh himedanshi ho gaya" while waving a lesbian flag.
At the end of the film, Ranbir begs for forgiveness, and Katrina refuses to forgive him. He asks her to consider their happy memories, but she shoves him and tells him to go back to his newest arm candy secretarial hire, while she gets married to her new young butch gf in Udaipur, with a dance number Deewangi style where Madhuri Dixit shows up and reminds everyone that lesbian love enriches the universe (Deepika attends, they are besties now).
Ranbir cries, throws up, decides to quit his business bro life and start an organic farm in Coonoor, but when he walks into his office to gather his things the sensor light switches on, and he spots the new secretary stepping into his room. Boom, it's Imran Khan. Boom, slow motion, fan wind blows into their faces as they lock eyes. Ranbir begins to speak but drops his folder, before he can retrieve it, Imran picks it up for him and kabedons him against the cubicle. Ranbir gulps, says "S-senpai"? They passionately make out. He looks at the camera and says, "Guess this really was my Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani". Fade to black, roll credits, directed by Karan Johar. Sequel to come featuring Varun Sidharth Alia Kiara in a quartet. Like and subscribe for more.
The new episode of Percy Jackson single handedly healed me from the dumpster fire that was stranger things S5
‘I’d burn all of Olympus down if it came to saving you’
*looooong pause*
‘Like Luke said Thalia would do to save you’
OH SHUT UP PERCY YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ANYYYYONE
Walker plays the lovesick puppy SO WELL
‘No, not just friends’
*has hope for a tiny millisecond*
‘Bestfriends’
FFFFFUUUUUUUU-
I AM GOING TO THROW HANDS
no matter how normalised it gets I will die on the hill that it is rude to record strangers in public without their consent
10/10 no notes
I love these twinks
I want to congratulate people who robbed the louvre for giving a new script to heist film makers
I spend a day with my girlies and think life is worth living again 🥹
So- rewatching Modern Family, on S9E10, Phil is trying to sell a house this lady who thinks the house is haunted, she hears ‘sounds’ coming from the walls
Who do you think this lady might be? Well ONLY LADY HETTIE WOODSTONE FROM GHOSTS
Talk about foreshadowing and perfect casting and serendipity
God really gives his toughest battles (laryngitis) to his strongest soldiers (me)
one thing about me is that I'm looking stuff up. you mentioned something and I don't know it? I am pulling out my phone and googling that shit. an actor? theoretical physics? a world leader? a vocabulary word? I am on the wikipedia page as we speak
Sooooo me
what do you mean elon musk did a nazi salute on live tv at the united states presidential inauguration twice and is now erasing the evidence off the internet by replacing the footage with the crowd cheering instead?
would be a shame if people reblogged this, wouldn’t it?
You have been visited by the twocumber. May you receive twofold luck in the coming days