I always want what I can't have

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@traumalimbo
I always want what I can't have
Thank you for your partecipation.
Resentment
I see that "learned helplessness" is the hot new psychological term getting wildly misused. the phrase you're looking for is "weaponized incompetence," babes
weaponized incompetence is when your partner does chores shitty on purpose so that you stop asking them to do chores. learned helplessness is when you've experienced so much trauma that you've developed the mindset that you can't meaningfully change your situation and have become accordingly passive.
if your partner is exhibiting learned helplessness they aren't manipulating you, they're displaying a trauma response.
here i abandon my own self
I swear, people say âitâs okay to be aloneâ like thatâs some profound wisdom, like theyâre bestowing upon me the ultimate comfort. Yeah, no shit itâs okay to be alone. Thatâs not the problem. The problem is that I donât want to be alone. Iâve done it. Iâve mastered it. Iâve got the lifetime achievement award in being alone.
And the thing that pisses me off the most? Itâs always people who have never actually been alone who say this. Theyâve had friends, relationships, people who care about them, and yet theyâll say shit like, âSweetie, you just have to learn to enjoy your own company.â Bro, I have been hanging out with myself for years. We are sick of each other.
Like, imagine someone stranded in the desert, crawling on the sand, dying of hydration, and someone walks by sipping a cold drink like, âYou know, hydration isnât everything.â Oh, word? Letâs trade, then. Give me your full, rich, connected life, and you can come experience the joys of prolonged solitude. Iâll even throw in the emotional numbness for free.
Why do some people act like wanting companionship is some kind of weakness? Like, sorry I have the audacity to crave human connection. Sorry for having a completely normal human need. Weâre social creatures by nature, prolonged isolation tends to harm mental and physical health.
But sure, tell me again how itâs âokay to be alone.â Iâll be sure to pass that wisdom along to my reflection while we share yet another meal in total silence.
The strange grief that comes with finally getting better. The grief of all the built up anger finally loosening its grip. The grief of all the things you didnât do and all the things you did do when you were going through something. The grief in knowing. The grief in knowing healing doesnât give you your lost time back. The grief in knowing that healing is as much a process of loss as it is one of gain. Youâre allowed to grieve your healing. As strange as it sounds, getting better often means mourning the version of yourself that had to survive it. But donât forget that version of you is cheering louder than anyone for your healing. Theyâre so proud of you. Iâm so proud of you.
My mother's anger lives inside of me
I feel it clawing its way, from my chest
To the back of my throat
My father's restraint lives in my teeth
Clenched shut, my tongue is still to the rage
Yet I feel myself cracking and snapping
Like ice on the first spring warmth
Bad Omens - Specter
abusive family: you are a burden and a pest, we're kicking you out if you stray one step from the image we created for you, while living under our roof you will obey us or die
me: runs away
abusive family: what a selfish betrayal,,, who would do that to their own family, this is,,, abuse? We are victims?,,, we clearly did nothing to deserve this,
Doing your best will look different everyday, and thatâs okay
"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry
You know, I have no right to complain, and maybe ill get in shit for it, but I wish people wanted me for who I am and what I can be, instead of only wanting me for things im not
my partner said something that kinda rocked my world
Babe are you OK? You reblogged "even if you get worse".
I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird
things humans are known to do when stressed:
-hallucinate
-cry over what seems to be small things
-become furiously angry over what seems to be small things
-hit a self destruct button over and over again
-lose all sense of reality
-becoming straight up unable to communicate
-view every situation as life or death
-experience delusions/become vulnerable to irrational worldviews
-perceive hostility where none exists
-become extremely nauseous and/or throw up
-stop engaging in sleeping/eating/basic hygiene
-stop processing sensory input
-process way too much sensory input all at once
-lash out at others/themselves
-and more!
being able to recognize when a human (ie. you or another person) is so stressed out they cannot think clearly is VERY important for conflict resolution and diffusing emotional crisis. highly recommend trying to train yourself at being able to recognize that state of panic- there is a point in which logic and rationality is useless and you have to address the underlying emotional issue first. knowing that saves everyone a lot of pain and struggle.
We are all better versions of ourselves when we are loved.