Hrnnngghhh Kernel

[evergreen-femme]

why does this read like fetish content

[threedollarsdotcom]

the flesh is weak and the mind? also not so strong

[kaylmao]

shh don’t worry catholics aren’t real

thank god. i mean thank something else

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

get a room. ok now get another room. now a few more. now add a roof and a door. yay house yay

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Gang of whimsypunks saw me dumpster diving in the alley behind the marble store. Cornered me. The lankiest one started coming at me with a paintbrush. Couldn't have been older than 30. Just a kid. Watched the light leave their smiley contact lenses after unleashing my sub-2-second Bill drill. If they got within 7 yards and thought to sprint, I'd be done for. Perfect El Presidente on the ones that were running. Couldn't let them report back to the rest of the "polycute." I know how they operate. You get marked as a "grumpy gus" and one night you wake up with hundreds of burning sparklers in the shape of a butterfly on your lawn. Not me. Not again. What is the world coming to? Oh god. Oh, god.

[greelin]

black mold and lead can’t affect me because i’m pure of heart

[segamascott]

[segamascott]

hey bro can i bum a moment so true and tender

[luvbites]

Looking at you

[segamascott]

i'm 5'6" i suck dick like idc if i die i drive a subaru what else is there to know

[kakzendingen]

name a food you like

[segamascott]

dick can't you read

[pleasemayiiplease]

[transfemmbeatrice]

[owa-tagoo-siam]

[eroscestlavie]

[bosspigeon]

so bc i am a Gross Dude my friends i and sometimes rate our burps and my coworker (who is a teen girl) burped in front of me once and i instinctively rated it

so now every time she burps she looks to me hopefully for a rating and bc she has delicate little baby burps i now have to create an entirely new Burp Rating System unique to her bc i rate anything below a 5 and she looks at me like this

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

It’s incredibly sexist to claim Taylor swift’s dad bought her career

damn you're right. both of her parents worked together to buy her career and I am sorry for disrespecting Andrea Swift in this way

[adamsmasher]

WE WERE ON JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!

[rouge-the-bat]

thank you for coming to my this #mythis

[segamascott]