24♡81

“𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑠𝑘.”

[lucylehane]

'sex scenes are gratuitous' mmhm please enjoy these complete character/narrative arcs composed exclusively of sex scenes

[lucylehane]

Jacob with some spot-on Ilya character analysis (and general thoughts on sex-as-self)

It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[laviejaguardia]

I love the everyone wants to fuck Shane Hollander agenda so picture like, Ilya at a team member's bachelor party and the whole Raiders team is there and everyone is drunk and they're playing games and just yelling out answers at the same time to questions like what's your favourite position and age you lost your virginity and giving each other shit for the answers but then there's what player you would go gay for and suddenly the whole team yells Shane Hollander at once to stunned silence afterwards and Ilya has the worst fucking night of his life

[troybarrett17]

although I love the idea of shane using pet names for ilya when he refers to him, like answering the phone "hi baby," im more in love with the idea that when they're finally public, shane uses ilya's name as often as he can.

picking up a phone call in the locker room? "hi ilya, what'd you make for dinner?"

posting on social media? "here's me and ilya at the aquarium"

talking to the old ladies at the grocery store? "this snickers bar is for ilya"

after spending 10+ years hiding who he is and who he loves, never being able to say his name out loud, he finally feels liberated to share to the whole world that he is with ilya rozanov. so no, he will never stop saying 'ilya'.

[upset-to-dead]

Obsessed with Ilya struggling to straddle Shane for a second bc Shane's first instinct after being pushed onto a bed is to spread his legs

[mymansmoon]

imagining shane hanging out with his parents and while he's away from his phone doing something with his dad a call comes in. yuna sees this and goes, "shane, someone's calling you!"

and shane says, "who is it?"

"lily!"

"oh." shane immediately sets aside what he's doing and walks over, saying to his mom, "that's ilya."

yuna looks at him in confusion as he picks up his phone. "why is ilya saved as 'lily' in your phone?"

and shane looks at her, away, shrugs as if it's obvious and simply says, "I can't have ilya rozanov saved on my phone, mom" before answering the call with a, "hey, baby" and walking away.

leaving yuna (and david) standing shocked and, once again, shaken at how little they knew about their son and the layers of concealment he's had to operate under for years just to love who he loves.

[lucylehane]

"The sex tells the story, so it never felt gratuitous to me. The sex is character development. The sex is what is moving this relationship forward, and watching it change over time."

Jacob Tierney on It's Open With Ilana Glazer

[drabbles-and-rambles]

I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:

Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.

Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"

Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."

They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.

[mina-logan]

Some art about coffee and certainly nothing else

[rainbow-femme]

They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.

[huliajelena]

how‘s the water?

you‘re in it

yeah, but i want to know how you like it

[gaynehollander]

One time when the Cens are on a string of away games Ilya looks out the plane window and, out of nowhere asks, “what do you think clouds taste like?” Shane had been deep in strategy mode so he hmms a little before answering, “I mean they’re just water, except it’s like condensed and they would be way too cold to consume.” Ilya nods sagely before saying, “so, like slushy.”

[chubby-cry-baby]

top 10 days of ilya’s life were definitely getting to see shane’s childhood bedroom and touching everything, he probably asked a hundred questions without breathing once - “nice room…” “what’s this” “what’s that” “yearbooks!?!” “so cute and boring” “YOU BLEACHED YOUR HAIR?” “awww you look so cute here” “most likely to play for the NHL wow” “who are these girls signing with hearts?! are you cheating on me?” “what’s that” “so many trophys mr superstar” “wearing a jersey for halloween is so boring” “can i have this picture” “you still have all your jerseys?” “who are those children” “PROM PICTURES” “aw all your ottawa friends” “what’re those?” “why are you wearing goalie gear” “you look so cute” “you read books that aren’t about hockey?” “where is the poster of me?” “you had to play with number 42?” “what is timbits hockey” “of course you were 10 year old captain” “what’s that” “hockey bedsheets im not surprised” “is that a puck shaped pillow” “wow hollander you are obsessed with hockey”

[jakeyjake22diary]

You guys don't get how Slavic Ilya looks to a person who grew up in Russia, that mf looks like a big chunk of my old classmates and friends. I don't mean his talking because he sounds like he learned Russian as a teenager from old sitcoms.

I mean the fucking pout and frown, the way he's so grumpy despite liking someone, the way he calls shane by his second name because he's scared itll be too personal, the way he can't keep his mouth shut during sex, especially those little bits of hair by the side of his face, like BRO whoever did the casting for Connor storrie did a fucking amazing job (I'll personally eat their ass) because when I first watched the show I was like 'oh second gen russian immigrant, my bro' then I found out that mf is from Texas 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[sleepyeepy]

for one of their anniversaries shane gives ilya a receipt for two burial plots side by side and he tells ilya that not even death could separate them or something along those lines

everyone who hears this is like wtf shane that’s so morbid and creepy

meanwhile ilya is clutching the paper to his chest sobbing because he feels so loved and revered by shane in that moment that he tells him they might have to use his gift earlier than expected if he keeps pulling on his heart like that

[deja-b00]

somehow it comes up that troy had a crush on shane and was going to ask for his number. and after troy gets ribbed by his teammates and ilya makes a big scene, shane is like, “well i never would’ve gone out with you lol.”

and troy smiles, “right, because you were with roz the whole time.”

“i mean, yes, but also because you and dallas kent spent years calling me and jj ‘rush hour’ and asking hayden if his wife was his beard to cover up his big gay relationship with me.”

the rest of the centaurs blink. harris puts his head in his hands and groans.

and troy’s like, “oh. right. sorry about that :/“

[barbie-verse]

heated rivalry twitter (66/?) its a period piece 😌