jess

✪

[merlsalot]

thank the lord for hollanov saving me in my physics exam today, thermisters increase in resistance in colder temps (rivalry = resistance),and resistance decreases when temp is warmer (off the ice so less rivalry) 😘🙏

[merlsalot]

my favourite parallel<3

[andy-dandy]

I do love the headcanon that Ilya and Cliff Marleau used to have threesomes during Ilya's Boston era. And Marleau 100% is the bro-y type that believes a threesome cannot POSSIBLY be gay if there's a girl involved and has literally zero doubts in his heart that he and his bestie buddy brother man captain Ilya are both entirely straight, despite kissing (full tongue in mouth) over the top of the girl they pulled together (ignoring her for a solid two minutes) at least once (it was multiple times).

Ilya, obviously, 100% knows that Marleau is at least a little bi, maybe a Kinsey 1 or 2? But he just sort of doesn't have the heart to break it to Marleau because he knows Marleau will have a whole crisis about it and Ilya doesn't have time for all of that rn. Also Ilya absolutely does not want to Awaken Marleau because if Marleau realizes that he likes Ilya then Ilya might have to deal with that and one extremely stressful and confusing secret affair with another hockey player is enough for him thank you!!!

This only comes up when Marleau comes out with the Ottawa guys after a Boston-Ottawa game post-TLG, and whilst drunk mentions the threesome thing and maybe the kissing thing while everyone else slowly exchanges extremely wide-eyed looks across the table.

Shane is incredibly displeased about literally all of this. It's Shane who eventually loses his patience and makes some crack about Marleau being in love with his husband (careful emphasis on his!!!! and husband!!!!) and Marleau goes. Oh yeah no we're just bros. No like. It was all super chill it doesn't count if your socks are on :)

This is when Troy bursts out laughing directly in Marleau's face.

[gaynehollander]

I feel like I've seen several posts about how good Shane is at poker and I firmly subscribe to that belief but here's what I find interesting. Playing poker against Shane is when Ilya realises that Shane actually isn't a bad liar. He's just bad at hiding his desire from Ilya. Actually, when playing against him he has no fucking tells. None at all. And Ilya knows him. He knows his face. He knows how to read him. He recognises every minute shift of his features. He has every microexpression catalogued. And yet. Shane. keeps. winning. Ilya tries everything, every trick in the book. He tries to distract Shane, tries to catch him off guard, tries to intimidate him but with every attempt the only the only thing he manages is to rile Shane up and so he's sitting across the table from him and the only thing Ilya can read in his expression is that he is definitely hard and desperately trying to cover that fact up and he really is horrible at hiding it but Ilya still doesn't know if he's fucking lying about his cards.

[snail-mail-33]

my belief system: Cliff Marleau is a chill dude but he does not Know Things. When he finds out about hollanov, he's happy that Ilya is happy but also is sad for him because he thinks gay men can't do missionary and Hollander has a pretty face for a dude so the idea he can't look at him is upsetting

[hr-rep]

Ilya and Cliff get married during Ilya’s bachelor party in Vegas. They’re thinking of it as a bro’s forever wedding. They are so drunk that they don’t realize it’s real.

When he find’s out, Shane is like. YOU are fixing this and I am staying with my parents until you do. He leaves the house and starts laughing the second he’s in the car. It’s so them, it’s so Ilya. Shane loves this stupid, goofy man.

He’s so relentlessly amused by this but he can’t tell Ilya that, not yet, no, first he’s gotta send out a mass message of Hi! Ilya and I are postponing our wedding because Ilya may or may not need to get a divorce from Cliff Marleau before we can get married. We will send out invitations with new date as soon as we can. Best wishes! Shane Hollander

(He ignores the dozens of phone calls & texts that meet hit his phone the second he sends that message) (that’s a later Shane problem)

(Shane calls Ilya every night, asking for updates and to see how he’s doing. He is never angry nor is he hurt, he’s just firm about You are Fixing This Mess)

Ilya has never worked faster to resolve something in his life. He spends an amount of money that would make any sane person flinch. Shane sees him three days later with a bouquet in one hand and in the other proof of dissolution of marriage.

They only get married 4 days behind schedule.

[starrs-andcrosses]

Cliff Marlow……………… kissing…………….…………. Wait for it………………………………………… MULTIPLE boys……………………..……… and one if them is Hayden Pike🤯🤯🤯🤯

[merlsalot]

I'm starting a community for fic recs, please share so it can expand and a large collection can accumulate!! <3

https://www.tumblr.com/join/kzuPLvuy

[ilyaois]

second letter https://archiveofourown.org/works/82367551

[ilyaois]

first letter https://archiveofourown.org/works/82367551

[merlsalot]

haycliff in real.

[kdkdnfuiahuag]

one time shane and ilya kissed before a game and they won 6-0 so now the centaurs make them do it before every game because hockey players are famously superstitious and “it’s good luck”

[starrs-andcrosses]

I need to clarify that even though Cliff Marlow is my absolute goat Hayden Pike is my favourite and that’s legit the main reason I need them to fuck raw on my screen

[merlsalot]

shane hollander is a freak in bed

[chubby-cry-baby]

shane and ilya regularly argue about one thing and it’s because they both “know a guy” but shane’s guy is a professional with certifications, a business licence, a truck with a logo, and 1000 five star reviews while ilya’s guy is someone he met at the grocery store parking lot

[eugeniedanglars]

shane and ilya aren’t allowed to give dating advice anymore ever since the cens found out they were in a situationship for seven years before making it official. one of the rookies asked what he should do to turn his hookup into a relationship and ilya was like “well in my experience if you just keep hooking up with that person who won’t commit to you and never communicate your needs or desires it’ll all work out perfectly and you’ll fall in love and get married. so keep doing what you’re doing” and shane was like “have you tried getting a head injury in front of them”

[merlsalot]

Okay so we all know that Ilya initiated his and Shane's relationship with the whole CCM commercial thing and the shower.. but I'm just going to come out and say that I truly believe that when him and Shane first met (2008) Shane was potentially trying to flirt? (all be it a poor attempt), even if he probably didn't realize it at the time.

Because when you really think about it awkward, autistic, confused (doesnt understand the attraction he feels) and a 17 year old Shane, would not be the type of person to start an unnecessary conversation with a man predicted to be his rival?? unless of course he felt something dragging towards Ilya (aka the beginnings of the longest crush of his life), so the conversation was actually shane making the first move.