I know depression and ADHD is a very common combo, but it's a deadly fucking combo and I'm so tired. Especially since it's exam season, and I just failed my second exam, not because I'm not smart enough or because the subject is too hard, but because I cannot bring myself to study. I tried routines, taking 5 minute breaks, making plans, and then following them, making notes, I physically forced myself to sit down with my book open and no distractions in sight so I can't do anything else but study and the words I were reading just weren't sticking, nothing I was learning stayed in my head. I wasted so much time procrastinating, I can't stop thinking about studying, but I also can't start studying, my brain literally doesn't let me. And I know I have it easy still, I live in a country where higher education is practically free, I live with my parents, I study something I like and am interested in, but the most important organ in my body is straight up betraying me because it doesn't have enough chemicals it needs or some shit, and sometimes there's just nothing I can do, but accept the fact that I'm not a properly functioning individual, that depression is a mental illness that ADHD is a disorder, and that I will need more time and sometimes help with things other people do easily, and despite feeling guilty and hating myself for being "lazy" privileged and disappointing I need to keep going, because I only have this one life and I still think it's worth it