i wish i could be a cat…

b o w i e / 2O / trans / t date: O2/16/2O22 / taken / gaymer / (i’m bi)

[imapursoon]

if this post gets 5000 notes I’ll bite into a tomato like it’s an apple

[imapursoon]

preparing for the inevitable

[imapursoon]

it’s time

[imapursoon]

pain pain and suffering fuck you I hate tomato’s so much I hate them even more now I’m chewing it as I type this fuck you fuck you fuck you

[imapursoon]

10000 notes and I’ll do it with an onion.

[imapursoon]

I gotta find an onion and I gotta find it fast fuck you guys

[imapursoon]

I woke my mom up to ask where she keeps the onions I hope y’all are happy

[imapursoon]

fuck fuck fuck pain I didn’t know the true meaning of pain until now it went Up My Nose the tears god tears and crying and sobbing I’m still chewing it I think I’m gonna throw up what the hell

[mlourizg]

This was 4 minutes ago are u ok

[imapursoon]

you’re the first person who has asked on this entire post, no! i am not! thank you

[imapursoon]

i have returned to continue my suffering, 15000 notes and I eat an entire lemon.

[imapursoon]

what the fuck happened while I was asleep I gotta find a lemon

[imapursoon]

horrible news

there does not appear to be a single lemon in this house. I have asked my momther where I can acquire a lemon and we will be going to the store to get one shortly

[imapursoon]

my mom has returned with the lemon let’s fuckin do this

[imapursoon]

fuck you guys it burns it burns god this is only just the beginning too

[imapursoon]

almost choked on a seed

[imapursoon]

my teeth hurt

[imapursoon]

cant wait to tell my dentist about this

[imapursoon]

my teeth hurt more and more with every bite..

[imapursoon]

last bite.

[imapursoon]

I’m free, you’re all paying for my dental bill

[imapursoon]

i think I deserve a… treat, after all that

[imapursoon]

finally…

[imapursoon]

after all this.. I’m finally free

[niffffty]

APPPLE

[the-purple-duck]

bad news bestie-

apples are also acidic

which is not good for your teeth

especially not after a whole lemon

[imapursoon]

[demilypyro]

ive never held hands with a boy before what if i get pregnant

[artificialverse]

What if he gets pregnant?

[demilypyro]

oh my god I didn’t even think about that

[haganez]

i think of this video once a week

[89thalice]

Transcription: A man stands in front of the camera with the caption “A story time from when I was a girl” next to him and trans flags adorning the video. “Ayo, let me give y’all a story time. You know I’m transgender, I was born a girl I transitioned into a man but let me give y’all a story time from when I was a girl. So, me and all my stud friends, we getting ready to go to this party we all dressed in all white.  One of my friends decided like, ‘Ay y’all, let’s all wear our straps to the party.’ So we all dumb, ‘Aight, bet!’ So, we all wear it to the party. We get to the party, it’s a basement party, back in the day, you know what I’m saying, so, nobody can really see. So, this girl get to twerking on me, she feeling me, giving me her number, dadadadada (said to mean etc.) We meet up after the party at her house, me and all my friends. So, we all go into seperate rooms dadadadada. So, we did what we had to do. So, I ain’t talk to shawty for like, two and a half months and I get a random text from this number like, ‘Yeah, like I been trying to call you and talk to you.’ And I’m like, ‘For what?’ you know what I’m saying, [I’m trying to] ignore you, like, it was a one night thing. She’s like, ‘Yeah, I’m pregnant and it’s your baby dadadadada…’ And I’m like, ‘Shawty, I’m a girl.’ and like, showing her pictures of like, what, me in a sports bra. No, she like ‘No, that’s your sister I’m not stupid I know who I had sex with that night.’ Um, so, to this day I got a child out there. Hey son-”

[pogasm]

finally. the first transmasc absentee father

[miiamin]

diversity win, cis men no longer have monopoly on absentee fatherhood!

[jame7t]

had a catboy moment at the farmer’s market :(

[seyvetch]

why are you sad about that :(

[jame7t]

no survivors :(

[24ozsteak]

FUCK aliens ! we got these crazy shits under da sea and we’re not payin any attention!!!

[24ozsteak]

YES

[khaos4k]

“the colony can regenerate injured parts or continue growing after being broken apart. Unless all individual clones are killed at the same time, a colony can theoretically live forever”

This thing is fucking mythical

[elvencantation]

yeehaw

[dontbeanassbutt]

ain’t that the giant Alaskan bull worm spongebob warned us about

[imapursoon]

if this post gets 5000 notes I’ll bite into a tomato like it’s an apple

[imapursoon]

preparing for the inevitable

[imapursoon]

it’s time

[imapursoon]

pain pain and suffering fuck you I hate tomato’s so much I hate them even more now I’m chewing it as I type this fuck you fuck you fuck you

[imapursoon]

10000 notes and I’ll do it with an onion.

[imapursoon]

I gotta find an onion and I gotta find it fast fuck you guys

[imapursoon]

I woke my mom up to ask where she keeps the onions I hope y’all are happy

[imapursoon]

fuck fuck fuck pain I didn’t know the true meaning of pain until now it went Up My Nose the tears god tears and crying and sobbing I’m still chewing it I think I’m gonna throw up what the hell

[mlourizg]

This was 4 minutes ago are u ok

[imapursoon]

you’re the first person who has asked on this entire post, no! i am not! thank you

[imapursoon]

i have returned to continue my suffering, 15000 notes and I eat an entire lemon.

[make--it--gayer]

[veztemporana-deactivated2019061]

bonus:

[scumbagsblog]

I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier

[kmproxy]

Vigor

[spiroandthelacktones]

Boop

[filmme-fatale-photography]

This is the most intense boopin I’ve ever seen

[mamamichine]

[kmproxy]

Much improved!

[ibroughtyoumybullets-ningy]

tumblr on ios, 2021 colorized

[joshpeck]

still being active on tumblr is camp

[fucignwimdy]

this post is gonna blow up even more when op deactivates

[joshpeck]

i'll outlive everything you love

[sarahconnorjr]

“The term “illegal immigrant” was first used in 1939 as a slur by the British toward Jews who were fleeing the Nazis and entering Palestine without authorization. Holocaust survivor and Nobel Peace Prize winner Elie Wiesel aptly said that “no human being is illegal.””

— Why ‘illegal immigrant’ is a slur - CNN.com  

[whoreapologist]

i love abortion and i love divorce

[red-twist]

i pop some pills and i ride my horse

[tuckerrule]

i log onto tumblr and i start discourse

[faggybutch161]

eyyyy macarena

[fangcore]

this has the strongest 2014 tumblr vibe i’ve seen in a while, can’t believe this post is 5 days old

[adorablecake]

THIS POST IS FIVE DAYS OLD???? I THOUGHT IT WAS AT LEAST 2 YEARS OLD!!!!!!!

[whoreapologist]

happy 9 day anniversary to this post 💖

[heritage-post]

date of origin: April 18, 2021

[shutyourmoustache]

As a speech therapist/educator, I’m always trying to find simple techniques/explanations to help little kids process and understand their emotions and then teach them healthy ways to express themselves when they’re angry, frustrated, etc. I notice that telling them I deal with the same difficulties, like wanting to yell when I’m angry, goes a long way. Then they know what they feel isn’t weird BUT there are ways to handle their emotions that don’t hurt themselves or others.

[pinkcheesegreenghost-deactivate]

nobody cares that youre vegan

That’s not true, people get pretty angry that I’m vegan lmao

[femmeharlequin-deactivated20240]

I can assure you that no one gives a shit about your personal eating habits, they get angry because militant vegans attack people for ridiculous reasons and are generally pretty ableist and racist lmao

[sqoks-aesthetics]

for someone who “doesnt give a shit about vegans” you sure seem to like being pissy on some random vegan post for no reason whatsoever lmao

[femmeharlequin-deactivated20240]

Wow how dare I reblog something from someone I follow with a comment. And I’m not being pissy I’m laughing at how much of a victim complex vegans have lmao

[setbabiesonfire]

Here they are, here’s the angry person. Found them.

[dingdongyouarewrong]

as a Certified Germaphobe i really think the west should really adopt the trend of wearing face masks when they’re sick tbh

[dingdongyouarewrong]

shit fuck i’m so sorry i’m so sorry i’m so

[logically-asexual]

I’m 99% sure Remus can convince Logan of joining him in whatever crazy thing he’s doing by saying it’s “in the name of science”.

[sexycraisinthanos]

Remus: Okay but IF Thomas did have the latent ability to fly, wouldn’t you like to be there to witness it with your own eyes?

Logan: *already grabbing his camera*

[strickenwithclairvoyance-moved]

logan, most of the time: remus can easily be defeated with a little bit of logical thinking and some time

remus: hey logan what if thomas does this one thing BUT he does it several times in order to execute the scientific method?

logan: ... give me a hypothesis and i'm in

[parano--vigilant]

[hecaerge-deactivated20150315]

shout out to lesbians for being lesbians. keep on lesbianing