GOTTA BLAST

Welcome squidward

[cannibalchicken]

[dogpuppy]

He is my princess diana

[mrspizzle]

I’m actually fucking dying

[3rd-r8-watrbendr]

[parkayquarts]

so many amazing words in the english language. you have clandestine and precarious and serendipity and iconoclast and then you also have staunch and sludge and slurp and smudge

[theoneofwhomisblue]

Thirsty wunk

[blossposs]

[captainjonnitkessler]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

[thisisalovestry]

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

[insomniparty]

[motherfucker-somewhat-limited]

[alexmey-does-an-arts]

legendary scrandle pull

[pansy2025]

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

[mezzodical]

[grayfruitsauce]

[ask-pacman]

Man Im sorry for snapping at you , uts just that I only got 8 hours of sleep last night and I only had like, two pandcakes with strawberrys and whipped cream and like three premium sausags for breakfast

[van1llaskys]

[blasesaint]

[todaysbird]

that’s a whole man.

[starsinfight]

you can't leave off the photo the sawmill worker took of the kiwi

[sharkwave-zee]

wish i could have been a fly on the wall for THAT conversation! not because i wanted to hear it or anything but because i'd be a lil buuuuug

[dykely]

[journeymanfool]

[glyphsmash]

whenever i eat a fruit salad it makes me feel like im someone's pet lizard and its my birthday