Aha @umbreonest09 - Tumblr Blog

pruningthisbranch-deactivated20

*me while losing an argument* Ok but why are you yelling

jetsetfuture-blog

snime

just precisely how bad was 1500s jerusalem at making maps, you ask? well,

scienceasfuck

this…is a fidget spinner

dog: BARK

me (with the same tone and volume): WHAT

dykean-moved-deactivated2020051

i’m deleting my account i just found out the jonas brothers are actually brothers and there’s 3 OF THEM i thought it was just a band name and my friends are laughing at me because i never watched camp rock i fucking hate all of you and i hate america and nick, or whatever the fuck the other ones names are, fuck you especially

dykean-moved-deactivated2020051

my sister just messaged me about this post and said “Hey quick question since we’re siblings who have lived in the same house for many years What did you THINK the Jonas brothers were?” in somehow the most condescending tone over text so along with disowning all my friends i also have a sister for sale on the market & if you’re interested please send a letter to my address at 108 Dumbass Boulevard and be sure to send the payment in bitcoin so i can take it with me to my grave to rot with me along with a never opened gold edition copy of camp rock tucked in my arms

dykean-moved-deactivated2020051

this is legitimately the worst night of my life

boyx-deactivated20190424

every time i take a selfie

starllex

when you see a dog from across the street

tvpixels

dutchstore

eltigrechico

Is this what Chaotic good is?

pon-raul

sold out his fellow employee in a second damn

lmaonade

radio hosts be like “you’re listening to BBHS673387.BDJJDKSKSKKSKIPFPFKFJDNFNJ.8727388888.8.7.678393939HHDJSKFJJ.HDJH hope you have a safe drive home”

rockleeswife

me: *flips dogs ear inside out* me: can u..,. hear better like this

rhv

seduce me with ur history knowledge

simaraknows

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

danray002-deactivated20241205

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

lapisbitch

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

sirl33te

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

verysadskeleton

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

stitch-n-time

King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.

Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.

kanthia

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

spockyykins

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

obaewankenope

When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.

Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.

nat-20s

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

aphony-cree

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

naphula

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

givemeunicorns

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler) nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

queerstorian

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”