umi_0312

[neptuneverypretty-deactivated20]

"Why are you smiling at your phone? Is it a boy?"

Yes actually. Its two boys. And they're doing unspeakable things to each other.

[letsfindouttomorrow]

Girlfriends or whatever

[penandinkprincess]

i know that ilya's ass is SO dramatic about getting his goodbye kisses after he and shane are together

shane forgets because he's running late for a meeting one day and has to rush out of the door, and he then arrives at the studio for the photoshoot he has booked to see a text from ilya with three different headstone styles with "one of these, i think"

and is just "for?? what??"

"when i am dead from broken heart because my husband does not love me anymore and does not kiss me before i will not see him for twenty years"

"ilya, i will be home in like four hours"

*pictures of two different casket models* "i am thinking the darker wood one, but perhaps that is too nice for your taste now that you do not love me anymore. perhaps you will bury me in cardboard shoe box like sad, dead hamster."

[dankmemeuniversity]

I’m

[froginakettle]

The youth are lost

[duncte123]

Not in a million years would I have ever thought of this

[a-sucker-for-a-sucker-offical]

This is art

[voidsweirdthoughts]

THIS POST AGAIN after two years oh god, is this official tumblr culture yet?

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[my-castles-crumbling]

moved - hollanov - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 520 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3

They should be used to it by now. The playful banter that goes on between Shane and Ilya, the way the two argue as a form of flirting. But still, it's always amusing when the two boys walk into Yuna and David's house mid-argument, both holding back ridiculously besotted grins, snapping back and forth about something that couldn't be less serious.

"Mom! Mom, don't you dare give Ilya a piece of cake tonight!" Shane shouts, kicking off his shoes and stomping into the house one evening as they both come to join Yuna and David for dinner, the warm summer air sneaking into the air-conditioned rooms as the boys enter through the front door. "He doesn't deserve it! He's being a complete asshole, and-"

"Hollander, you are using such awful language in front of your parents!" Ilya scolds, eagerly pressing a kiss to Yuna's cheek and hugging David before he even bothers to remove his sneakers. "So disrespectful! Is okay, Yuna and David, I know you like me best." The last sentence is fake-whispered to them, making Shane glower.

"My parents know what swearwords are, Rozanov! And there's no way they'll like you at all when I tell them what bullshit you've been up to!" Shane continues to rant, allowing Yuna to pull him into a hug even as he frowns and glares at his boyfriend.

"What've you done now, Ilya?" Yuna asks in a stern voice, though she's smiling the whole time.

"Nothing, Mama Yuna," Ilya says in a voice so innocent he might as well have a halo on his head. "I am perfect, you know this."

"He's been moving my things!" Shane bursts out, turning to David like he might be the voice of reason.

But both David and Yuna exchange a confused look, wondering why Shane's so upset over such a small thing. "Moving...your things?" David asks, clearly trying not to show judgement.

"Every time he's pissed off at me! He moves something on a shelf or in the bathroom, like...a few inches. Not enough so it's gone, but enough to make me think I've put it back in the wrong spot, or that I'm going crazy!" Shane whines.

She tries. Yuna really tries to keep it together as she turns back to Ilya. But the little rolling lilts in her voice give away the amusement she's trying to hide, the laughs she's swallowing down. "You just...kept moving things bit by bit?" she clarifies, smiling more and more.

"He drives me insane, so I make him think he is insane," Ilya nods, beaming. 

Placing a hand over her mouth, Yuna shakes her head. 

"You two are something else," David says with a chuckle, clearly just as amused.

"Still...." Yuna decides, knowing Shane will be mad if she doesn't defend him. "That's not kind, Ilya. You only get one piece of cake tonight."

And the ridiculously tall, muscled, objectively scary-looking man breaks into an expression like Yuna has killed his puppy. "What?" he gasps, distraught. "But...is chocolate."

"Yeah. Shouldn't have been an asshole," Shane murmurs, crossing his arms and smirking.

Ah. Her boys.

[hellomyfuturelovers]

I am the biggest advocate for casual physical affection. I hug my friends, give forehead kisses, lay across them whenever I can. I rest my chin on your shoulder. I encourage the use of myself as a pillow. I’m recharged by touch. the concept that you can’t be physically affectionate with anyone unless you’re dating will be the death of you.

[sleeplessv0id]

being snuggly and cuddly at heart 🤝 having a crippling fear of being a bother.

[kosmogrl]

[jojorice]

heated rivalry satosugu!! 🏒🥅 was thinkin abt heated rivalry again and suddenly felt the irresistible urge to draw this lol

[my-castles-crumbling]

found - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 336 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3

“What is this?”

Ilya looked up at Shane’s slightly-annoyed voice, making sure to fix his face into an innocent expression as he realized what his boyfriend was holding. “Is my hoodie,” he offered simply, blinking in a way that suggested Shane’s question was ridiculous. “You went through my things?”

“Your—I—“ Shane stammered, face twisting with frustration. “I saw the sleeve hanging out and found it inside your suitcase! Ilya, this is mine!”

He worked very hard to keep his lips in a straight line, tilting his head in mock confusion. “Hollander, is my hoodie. You said: was in my suitcase. Why would you put your hoodie in my things?”

Shane mouthed wordlessly, his adorably freckled cheeks flushing red. “I didn’t put it in there, you asshole! You stole I—“

Now he couldn’t help but grin, getting up to meet his boyfriend where he was standing and fidgeting with agitation. “Shane,” he said softly, as if he was trying to soothe the shorter man. “Do you really think I would do this? I have my own hoodie.”

Now Shane looked absolutely petulant, his features distorted with fury. “Yes, I fucking do! Rozanov, this is my fucking-“

Sensing Shane was at the end of his rope, Ilya decided to drop pretenses, wrapping his arms around the angry man. “But Hollander,” he whined into Shane’s neck, still smirking with amusement, “it smells like you. Boring cologne, expensive shampoo, stupid Canada…I want to bring it back to Boston with me to remember my perfect boyfriend.”

Shame physically melted in his arms, as soft “oh…” dripping from his lips.

Ilya pulled back, grinning down at him triumphantly, thrilled and a bit turned on at how pleased Shane looked now. “Yes? I can have?”

Shane rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were furiously red now. “Fine. But I want something of yours,” he murmured, eyes cast downward.

“Ahhhh, you like my scent. Like a dog, are you?” He teased delightedly, chuckling when Shane gave him a horrified look.

“Oh, fuck off, Rozanov!”

[libraryspectre]

Do y'all remember being a kid and trying to read in the car while it was dark outside and your parents wouldn’t let you turn on the light so you would try to grab snatches of sentences when you passed by street lights

[moony-toast-mornings]

ilya's monologue but it's sirius talking to remus in french over the phone after running away from home in the summer

[my-castles-crumbling]

embarrass - jegulus - @jeggyverses-jegulus-microfic - word count: 387

“I absolutely hate you.”

James, who had answered Regulus’s call through the pair of mirrors he and Sirius used to share, felt the giant grin on his face slip a bit as he gazed at his boyfriend. “I–what?”

Regulus, who looked rather grumpy and exhausted, rolled his eyes. “Oh, stop, Potter. I don’t actually hate you. I just hate you, you know?”

He brightened again. “M’sorry, love. Erm…what’d I do?”

Regulus, who was hundreds of miles away in his dorm while James sat in his bedroom, leaned back on his pillows. “You’ve ruined my sleep forever,” he grumbled, stunning face pinching. 

“Reg. Love,” James chuckled, sitting up in his own bed. “We didn’t share a bed last night. You’re all the way at Hogwarts. How could I possibly have–?”

“Exactly. At some point when I was sneaking into your bed this summer, you cast some sort of terrible spell on me, and now I can’t sleep without you,” Regulus complained, still scowling. “Tell me the countercurse now.”

Something warm burst in James’s chest as he realized he wasn’t the only one who’d had trouble sleeping last night, on Regulus’s first night back at school without him. “Can’t do it, I’m afraid,” he murmured, smile so wide his jaw ached. “Would it make you feel better to know I was hit by the same embarassing curse?”

Something quick and vulnerable flickered in Regulus’s gray eyes. “Yes,” he whispered.

And James’s heart ached. They’d spent so much time together over the summer, over the past school year even, that it felt wrong to be apart. Sure, he was visiting in a month, but that felt so far away. An idea came to him quickly, though. “Hey,” he said, smile returning. “What if I send you one of my jumpers or something? You could wear it? While you…sleep?”

Regulus’s eyes went wide, but James didn’t miss the pink that stained his pale cheeks. “I guess that would suffice,” he murmured, a small smile tipping his lips upward.

“Good. Have fun in class today, baby. I love you,” James said, already standing to collect a whole pile of jumpers to send him.

“Love you.”

James didn’t tell Regulus that he’d saved the pillow Regulus had slept on, and had spent most of the previous night with his face pressed into the fabric. 

[my-castles-crumbling]

renew (again!) - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 428 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3

“Can you help me with this in other room, moya lyubov'?”

Ilya’s voice broke Shane from his haze, causing him to blink rapidly and try to tune back into the room. Dissociation had always been a skill of his, a way to survive when he was already far past his limit, a way to seem put together when he was, decidedly, not. But now, as Ilya looked at him with gentle expectation, Shane felt a giant wave of annoyance. Why was his husband asking more of him? It’d been such a long fucking day! So much talking, a ridiculous amount of preparation, so many changes at the last minute. He wanted to scream!

“Ilya, we need to focus on our guests,” he muttered through a tight jaw, body still angled toward the conversation he’d been pretending to be a part of, praying that the taller man would get the hint.

Of course he didn’t. “Will just take a moment, Shane. I need another person to help. Do you mind if I steal perfect husband for a few seconds?” he asked the people nearby, two of many possible donors to the Irina Foundation that were in attendance tonight.

Both waved their hands and grinned. “Not at all!” one answered.

Shane could have screamed with the way Ilya firmly guided him away. “Ilya, we’re in the middle of–”

“Don’t care.”

“If you’re taking me upstairs to fucking have sex, I–”

“Am not, Shane, just give me a minute!”

When the got to the top of the stairs, Shane turned and faced his husband, arms crossed and shoulders to his ears. “What, Ilya?” he demanded. “What could you possibly need my help with that couldn’t–?”

But he was interrupted by Ilya pulling him into a firm, unbreakable embrace.

It wasn’t the type of hug that preceded or even proceeded intimacy. It wasn’t comforting or gentle. It was full of pressure–grounding, like an anchor, and it immediately caused Shane’s tense muscles to relax.

“Oh,” he murmured, sinking into the sensation.

“I thought you needed a break,” Ilya whispered into his ear, arms still locked around him. “Is helping?”

“Yes,” he agreed, eyes fluttering shut.

After a few moments, they shifted, arms fitting around each other in a more-normal embrace, Shane’s breathing slowing. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, feeling ashamed. “Thank you.”

“Is nothing, dorogoy,” Ilya said, a smile in his voice. “You needed love so I loved you. Simple.”

Simple.

So, feeling renewed, he pulled back and smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you more, sweetheart.”

They returned to the party together.

[my-castles-crumbling]

lip gloss - hollanov - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 488 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3

Ilya Rozanov has never been one to care too much about fitting into gender norms. Sure, in Russia, he’d always toned himself down a bit. Elected to wear muted colors and stay groomed according to his father’s expectations, at least while around family. But once he’d moved out of his home country to Boston, he’d been able to take risks. Now that he was in Ottawa, it was more of the same: the ability to goof around and he himself without fear of retribution. So when, while babysitting, Amber Pike offers him a new mini tube of cheap lipgloss as a prize for winning a round of the game Pretty Pretty Princess, Ilya accepts with a happy grin, slathering the liquid over his lips happily and resisting the urge to immediately lick it off. “This is good,” he comments, smacking his lips together and wondering if this is why girls always have such soft lips. The gloss must have some ingredients to help the skin or something. “What favor?”

Ruby grins, delighted. “Cherry,” she says, pointing to the small picture on the tube. “Go show Uncle Shane, you look pretty!

So he happily obeys, walking into the Pikes’ kitchen and finding Shane there. “What do you think? Is my color?” he asks in a teasing voice, puckering his lips for his husband to see.

It’s supposed to be a joke. He’s just playing around, being his normal, obnoxious self. But when Shane turns and nearly drops the pot of whatever he’s cooking for dinner as soon as he locks eyes with his husband, it is suddenly much more serious. “Ilya…what?” he gasps.

“Oh.” He can’t help but grin wider, sauntering over to the shorter man, biting his lip on purpose. “Oh, Hollander. You like this, don’t you?”

Shane looks petulant. “No,” he mutters, but his cheeks are red. 

“You do,” he beams, guiding Shane to put down the food and grabbing him by the hips. “You like my lips, da? They look good like this? Wait until you see how they taste.”

And for a moment, they forget four kids are in the house. They forget that they are supposed to be babysitting, to be role models, to be making responsible choices. Because their lips connect and Ilya pulls Shane close and Shane melts. 

The lipgloss is sticky. Smearing over both of their mouths, making the kiss taste even better than usual, it creates even more heat between them. It feels dirty, and suddenly Ilya needs Shane now.

So of course, this is the moment when Hayden and Jackie, home from their date, arrive.

“What the fuck.” Hayden’s weak voice makes them break apart, panting, and Ilya nearly falls into a fit of mirth at Shane’s mortified face.

But it’s Jackie who lands the final blow. “Are…are you guys wearing lip gloss?” she asks, obviously trying not to judge and failing miserably.

And suddenly, Ilya is hysterically laughing.

[cloudabserk]

“shane and ilya’s wedding song was diamonds by rihanna” uh im pretty sure it was the moana soundtrack? as evidenced by these book screenshots my sister sent me:

[skippysy]

I have the one and only 24 karat angel