Umiworld

[uminextdoor]

Bored Daydreaming Fanatic

Umiworld is my getaway inter-web hide-out from all life's troubles and stressors. Join me if you crave to run away for a few seconds until you decide to return back to the real world.

[irlitgirl]

[uminextdoor]

April and May photodump

[uminextdoor]

I was recently told by my mother that my brother “jokingly” suggested I should get a job at the local strip club to make money instead of working at the coffee shop I just got hired to bc of how little I’m getting paid. I will never ever stop being sexualized within my family and I do not understand why. I am so uncomfortable in my own home more than I already was. I wish our economy wasn’t so f’d up so I could move out and be able to survive.

[babydoll-4444]

[rocknrollangelsblog]

I love peace

[girlesposts]

[uminextdoor]

I needed to see this

[uminextdoor]

I want so badly to fold, message him, and pretend like none of what happened happened. I want to hear his voice on the phone and get random messages throughout the day. We hardly saw each other though, which deeply affected not only me but our relationship, so I know I have to fight these urges as hard as I possibly can. My best friend has been absolutely amazing. She stopped by before work to bring me some flowers/coffee/ and a motivational handwritten letter. I cried as soon as I made it back into my room. She has also been calling me randomly throughout the day just to talk about random stuff, which I found really comforting. I consulted the cards on whether there could be a possibility of us reconciling in the future once we have improved in ourselves, and I got the five of pentacles and the Hierophant reversed, as well as the wheel of fortune (Yes, I kept asking LOL). I know I can't go through this healing journey thinking of us getting back together. I have to focus on myself, but it is so hard... it has always been hard.

[uminextdoor]

March 23rd

I lost a part of my heart today, but I know if the universe decides to bring us back together when we have grown and become balanced within ourselves, it will be mended. Even if that time never comes or wasn't meant for us, I wish him the best. I know he will achieve amazing things in his life. I will become more self-assured, confident within myself, and more determined to achieve great things. I no longer want to fear solitude. I do not want to remain in a position where I am neglecting myself and my wants. I am my own advocate, and I will continue this self-love journey so that I do not have to rely on the love of others to determine my worth.

We had a heart-warming "see you later" and exchanged some departing gifts. We dried each other's tears, made fun of each other, laughed, cried some more, hugged some more, kissed, and kissed again. We gazed into each other's eyes, engraving each other's faces and bodies one last time with our eyes and hands, before he walked me back home and gave each other some advice before we slowly let each other go. I love you, R.

[uminextdoor]

Two years of my relationship may be coming to an end tonight. Good luck to future me in a couple of minutes. We both love each other, but life has decided it is time for it to end. He leads a very busy schedule, whereas I am very flexible with my time. We have differing views on our relationship, and sometimes the compromises feel more like sacrifices. Though I love him, I must let him go. I cannot hold onto someone when I also fear solitude. May we regroup someday, and if not, so it be.

[uminextdoor]

I’ve been feeling so distracted, unsure, and overwhelmed as of lately. I wish I could escape into a cave and become the next Buddha.

[uminextdoor]

Recently I’ve been struggling a lot with my skin and makeup. I feel like whenever I wear concealer (I wear the Glossier one and I tried the Nyx concealer but it would cling too much to my pores) it tends to flake off on my chin and forehead and I’m not really sure why because I have pretty oily skin 💔 the only areas that get kinda dry are the corners of my nose and lips which is also annoying but I found that I feel comfortable with just wearing sunscreen and concealer on my dark circles. I get insecure of this red birth mark I have on my forehead that gets very noticeable when I’m outside but I think I’ll just try embracing a bare face with a few little touches. If anyone has any recommendations tho I would really appreciate it because even when I wear foundation my forehead and T zone are always the ones giving me problems EVEN WITH PRIMER + skin routine 😔

[housegoblin]

cutscene

[uminextdoor]

A little photo dump of my day at the rodeo and getting my nails done after two years of not having acrylics. I got them pretty short because I will be starting my new job soon and I’m not sure about their policies on nails andddddd I don’t want them being so long that it impedes my training. Anhwhoooo I loved my outfit for the rodeo and I will be going back soon for some silver pieces that I will post if I acquire them 😼🙏🏻

[shimmeringterroroblivion]

[uminextdoor]

I’ve been so MIA but little life update:

I got hired at a new coffee shop near my house so I no longer have to drive 45+ mins to get to my current job hallelujah!!! I’ll be working with my best friend so I’m excited about that. I really hope we get to participate in some of their paid volunteering events together!! after my birthday me and my boyfriend had a scare 🤰🏻but luckily my monthly torment came a day early!!! So bless up! I have been so anxious about it that I’ve been having weird dreams and I’ve been emotionally dissociative and I haven’t been able to concentrate on my studies at all. My relationship was put on trial by me I think it’s a tendency of mine that when one aspect of my life is down the rails I try and control another side. However, my boyfriend was not about to let me breakup with him lolll I love that man dearly, even when he frustrates me. I recently changed out my belly piercing to a small flat screw on jewelry because I feel as though it’s thinning out on me but also I’m no longer really happy about it, I think it’s due to my weight fluctuation but it’s okay. my last therapy session ended with a referral to a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis on ADHD/ADD so we’ll see how that goes. so far being 22 has had its ups and downs

[uminextdoor]

[uminextdoor]

I want to get this quote tattooed on my foot to complete my setup but I don't know how to place it since I already have a front ankle tattoo ughhhh