You Die If You Try

[calcazars]

let it be known that i touch grass frequently and I’m still like this.

[ranni-thewitch]

divert all power to the funk engine

[puppygirllaika]

a single, solitary, earth-shattering note thunders across the battlefield like a tsunami.

[divorce-enjoyer]

ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water

[divorce-enjoyer]

you think youre out of water but then you check back in five minutes and woah! theres more water! the world is so beautiful

[meanbuddhist]

what they don’t tell you is that it lives inside you until you let it out

[daylighteclipsed]

ENTRY LEVEL MEANS NO EXPERIENCE. IT MEANS NO PORTFOLIO OF RELEVANT SAMPLES. ENTRY LEVEL IS ENTRY LEVEL

[dreamlogic]

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[bigcatwildcat]

Can we take time to appreciate this ridiculous jaguarundi lounging about in a pile of feathers? 

Thank you.

Photos by Anne-Marie Kalus

[octoberloved]

[segamascott]

[this-is-trans-joy]

I’m trying to look for synonyms of sneer and i’m fucking dying

yeah that looks normal… yeah these are all— um. hold on. hang on.

what

[the-ravens-king]

[men-iss-vess-ull-deactivated202]

when the ogre I hired to guard the castle complains that the longsword I gave him requires a level of control and finesse he isn't used to

[narcissene]

affirmations:

- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position

- consciousness is a gift

- i CAN do this anymore

[bobbole]

Anthony Machuca, Wake up Steve, our bowls are empty

[red-garden]

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

[mundanesalad]

it came to me in a vision

[bug-lovers-island]

Been thinking about hot rod horseshoe crab all day

[littleguysdaily]

[mundanesalad]

My ultimate goal was to make and paint it in real life. Thank you all for believing in me!

[dabirkinbae]

the art of leaving things unsaid because saying them won’t change a thing.