Something Witty

My name is Matt. var sc_project=9324316; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="18339adf";

[sweet-jennifer-lawrence]

[sweet-jennifer-lawrence]

[sweet-jennifer-lawrence]

[sweet-jennifer-lawrence]

[sweet-jennifer-lawrence]

[catchymemes]

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[12goblins]

when tho

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

[wizardshark]

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

[zigxortega]

[zac--efren]

I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.

[scientiablr]

honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March

[haroldtheyrewuhluhwuh]

@captainsuperlesbian vdgsgdhgdhd

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Fiberglass is neither fibrous nor glass-like, it gets its name from Robert Fiberglass. He didn’t invent it, he just won the naming contest by eating the most of it.

[panelshowsource]

[panelshowsource]

[yo-daddys-my-bitch]

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

10 of Pentz came thruuu

[violaslayvis]

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

[borkdork]

I could seriously use this money right now….

[ashashi-corner]

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

[hermes-is-my-homeboy]

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

[virgocity]

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.

[penprp]

Sure why not? Jobs bring in money and prosperity…

[theweirdwideweb]

[unclebeanbag]

No, Mike Pence got fucked by a horse. How else do you get the outside of a horse inside a man? 

[raccacommie]

Better?

[queenbradbury]

omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon

and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there

and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza

and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because it’s far from our door

so a heads up to everyone i’m pretty sure domino’s is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens

[pep95]

demono

[dpdjohneggleg-deactivated201608]

((”Not just pizza”))

[cutest-angle-in-heaven]

((”but eternal damnation”))

[thestarsaredown]

Alternate theory: It wasn’t that the pizza guy couldn’t cross the line of salt himself.

He just saw the line of salt and assumed that it was the only thing keeping you and your brother in, and he didn’t want nothing to do with your demon asses

[thatdisasterauthor]

Alternate alternate theory: pizza man is a slug.

[tealfruit]

I’m making bread

[tealfruit]

bread boys

[tealfruit]

my sons!

THEY’RE DELICIOUS

[tealfruit]

frog bread was tagged explicit. reblog the forbidden frog bread for luck and power

[anarchocunt]

@just-remington

[audrocur-deactivated20221128]

[myutsuumoved-deactivated2014052]

[geeeeeeeeeeeeeeenji]

a person i’ve never met before in my life: *greets me by name*

me: