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YOU ARE THE REASON
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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The only “Not All Men” post I’ll reblog.
To break down rape culture, we need to stop teaching people that men can’t help themselves; they absolutely can look for enthusiastic consent, and they must. This is absolute bare minimum decent human being behaviour.
for the love of god i beg you UNMUTE this
Here’s the reason why your “POOR MEN!” comments on my “men don’t know how to do emotional labor and rely solely on their wives to do it for them,” post are GARBAGE. Like, shut upppppp.
Do we live in a society that socializes a lot of young men to not have the foundational tools they need for their personal and emotional wellbeing? YES. Does that suck? YES. Is everyone in society responsible for recreating, over and over again, toxic masculinity? YES.
But what all those comments completely ignore are the BENEFITS of men not being expected to do emotional labor. Men benefit GREATLY from this shit. ALL THE TIME.
They benefit from not having to do the incredibly exhausting legwork of emotionally caring for their children. Dad is the “fun one” and mom is who you go to talk through all your life shit with. Doing emotional labor for your children is beautiful work but it is honestly a 24/7 job and it is exhausting and intensive and requires a great deal of patience. I know a shit-ton of people my age (myself included) who had little to no emotional labor support growing up from their dads. That means their moms (and grandmas. And sisters. And aunts.) were doing the bulk of this labor.
(Also it’s pretty sad when a girl child in the family is expected to do the emotional labor of her siblings cause dad can’t get his head out of his ass to show up and listen for 5 minutes)
Men benefit from not having any expectations on them that they do any other kind of kinship work too. Like calling their moms on their mom’s birthday. Like writing christmas cards, inviting friends to dinner, scheduling healthcare visits for their kids (and sometimes even for themselves!), making sure dinner is on the table for a family dinner, getting presents for family birthdays, etc etc. Many men are completely oblivious of how their family actually functions, because they’ve never had to do kinship work like this in any real, substantive way.
When men are exempt from kinship work and emotional labor, they have a shitton of free time and energy on their hands to explore other activities, activities that their busy, emotionally taxed wives cannot explore. This is a huge benefit for men and it has a huge cost for women.
I honestly think that this is the cause of many straight relationship breakups/divorces, because men have all this time to pursue personal projects and women are fucking E X H A U S T E D and busy doing all the emotional labor, and men end up looking at their wives and being like “You’re boring now. All you think about/talk about is being a mom. I need a ~partner~. Someone with more interests.”
So before you’re like POOR MEN fucking recognize that POOR MEN benefit from not being expected to do emotional labor and that these POOR MEN are GROWNASS MEN who are capable of changing that up and learning but DON’T. They’re not children anymore. They can actually do this shit if they want to.
gay cis white males need to stop taking AAVE and using it for themselves only to make it trendy! It is harming the black community
I’ve been in the hospital for a few days now. If you sent me a message this is why I didn’t get back right away. I’m very prone to infections when under stress, the last time i got a massive infection it took me out for nearly a year…😩😩😩but I’m under good care and getting better. Might take a while to get back to my old self however.
What happened to @trustfundkiller 😭😭😭
NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL SUGAR! YOUR FAVORITE ALBUM FEATURING ALL THE BEST HITS OF THE SUGAR BOWL!
1. “Seeking A Intelliegnet Suger Babee” by Somehow Claims To Have a Million Dollars
2. “I’m Not Going To Give You An Allowance But I’ll Pay For Dinner Sometimes” by Thinks He’s Being Clever
3. “My Wife Knows About This And Understands” by Lying Through His Teeth
4. “I’m Not Like Every Other Guy On Here” by Every Other Guy On Here
5. “I Work Out 4 Times A Week And You Should Too” by Old Guy With A Gut
6. “My Favorite Hobbies Are Hiking And Cycling” by Sure, Buddy
7. “DRAMA FREE NSA FWB DDF NO BBW” by Doesn’t Actually Know What These Acronyms Stand For
8. “I Only Like Caucasian Girls. I’m Not Racist, These Are Just My Preferences” by Actually Entirely Racist
9. “I Can Spoil You In The Bedroom” by Gag Me With A Spoon
10. “I Don’t Like Talking Through This Website So Here’s My Number In The First Message” by My Account Expires Tomorrow
11. “I Am Interested In Getting To Know You, Please Reply If Interested” by Completely Blank Profile
12. “NO PROS” by Whorephobic Dude In Denial
13. “I Have Been To Every State In The US, And 46 Countries” by Traveled To All Of Them For Conventions
14. “Every Girl On Here Just Wants Me For My Money” by Has No Fucking Idea Where They Are, At All, Ever
THIS IS MY FAVORITE
i’m looking at a stack of books i read in high school and i remember this one being so fucking traumatizing. it’s called “burned” and it’s about the oldest daughter in a family of 7 daughters who are Mormon and live with their abusive dad. the mom is subservient to the dad who wants a son so they keep having kids. she gets sent to stay with her aunt after getting in trouble at school bc her mom is finally pregnant with a boy and her problems make the mom stressed. she has the time of her life and falls in love and gets pregnant. then her evil ass father fucks it up and in the end she’s left alone.
it was one of those books that made me not want to read for a while.
this bitch wrote a sequel…
I read that book and almost all of them in the series. I also actually met the woman who wrote those books in high school as well and parts of it are based on her personal experiences with her and her daughter. That white lady had some pretty crazy shit happen to her
i read the first few of the crank series too and remember those were the ones based on her real daughter
Y’all: Cum in my mouth, daddy
Me, an intellectual:
im about to delete this fucking account
“do you have a type?”
uh yeah, women I’m slightly afraid of
honestly same >.>
The “ innocent princess” role has gotten me sooooo FAR in this lifestyle.
Men love to feel as if they are in control…
Please remember as a woman IT IS NOT HARD to out smart, manipulate and get what we want out of these men without spreading our legs.
Make him actually work for your time, make him court you. If he’s a true gentlemen it will show. TRUST ME.
Say it with me Sis…Wealthy men always want to use their resources and finances to help me be successful
Can you make a Vegas post? I want all the deets and I’m an anxious person naturally and am trying to psych myself up to go myself
I have a lot of posts in my “vegas” tag and also “Vegas liveblogging” but tumblr search feature sucks so I wonder if you can find them. I’ve really only worked at one club there and would hardly consider myself an expert but also check @succubus-stripper tags for breakdowns of certain techniques to use there
Vegas is tough for naturally anxious people and the environment can fuck with your head but the process of conquering that anxiety and learning to thrive in spite of it has been really gratifying for me so far
Strippernotes has a really good one if they haven’t deactivated, also glean all the info you can from stripperweb because I feel like most posters on stripperweb don’t fall under the “I only have $1k+ nights” so you will def have more realistic expectations.
Also I have basically debilitating anxiety and my first several trips were a shitshow (like I made money somewhat but returned with an alcohol problem). So now I:
Drink fake shots until I can get myself a champagne room
Do everything I need to feel my best (spray tan, clear coat on my nails, my absolute favorite lingerie, lucky charms, dress nice to go to work)
Don’t put pressure on myself to make money or have a goal, I push myself enough as it is and I have good work ethic without stressing myself out even more
Know your pricing, you will lose sales if you don’t know the numbers perfectly
Yes I just reblogged the strippernotes post for you anon! The prices have changed a little… I think 48 for sheriffs card now and 10 for scope check as of Jan 2018.
It really does help to have your prices and pitches worked out so you can say them smoothly. Practice in the mirror, speak slow and clear, and make eye contact.
Don’t be afraid of offering expensive options, don’t talk yourself down with like “oh he’s not gonna go for that.” Many (most??) of my CR sales have been surprises to me.
And yeah do as much as you can to avoid drinking. Fake drinks, pour your vodka soda out in the bathroom and refill with water, Red Bull in a champagne glass… I try to only drink if a guy buys expensive champagne in a room or if I’m having nice scotch. Esp on a busy night it is not worth the investment of time to order, wait for the drink to come, then sit and drink a whole drink with someone for maybe only a $20 dance
More tips!!
Go early and stay late. Succubus and I both tend to work long shifts esp if we get on a winning streak. A lot of Vegas is the luck of who walks in and who you choose to talk to, so the more time you spend on the floor the more likely you run into the right guy.
Be in your top physical shape, not just so you look your best, but in order to deal with the strain of circulating the club and working the floor all night if you don’t wind up in CRs
Bring eye drops and deep conditioning treatment, the secondhand smoke wreaks havoc on everything
Be careful in multi girl rooms, you never know how other girls closed their end of the sale, and I’ve been in skyboxes where the other girls barely took their tops off and others where the girl was fucking her guy at the cost of the room. This is not to say don’t do multi girl rooms! Just be mentally prepared to stick to your boundaries in the face of all this. Sapph seems to be good about paying the girls even if the customer isn’t satisfied with her “level of service”.
Yessss I always plan on working from 7pm until 4-8am depending on how busy I am.
And like when I wear my Fitbit some nights I end up walking 2-3 MILES so I always bring a64oz water bottle, extra red bull and snacks (also your club might have food or a house mom with meals), extra shoes unless I’m feeling masochistic, and like literally anything I might need for comfort. At my club girls will sleep on the dressing room benches waiting for the next rush.
Also it’s vegas so schmooze EVERYONE from the guy who takes your house fee (he’s given me free house before because he messed up my check in) to the hosts (they’ll grab you for customers) to the housemom (she’ll take care of me if I get drugged or something and give me good info on conventions). Like in Vegas you’re hustling everyone not just the customers.
I have no interest in white girl luxury blogs. I see them all the time and I can’t relate. Show me some black girls draped in jewels, sitting pretty on private jets drinking mimosas & shit. That’s much more inspiring.
“Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”
— Carl Jung (via naturaekos)
