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@uselessmagic
guy who installs an adblocker and forgets about it and lives in a beautiful world where online ads have become much less frequent
lalala world so beautiful advertisements so extinct (opens website on mobile)AAAAAH!!!!!!! OH GOD MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!
FLORENCE + THE MACHINE - Cosmic Love Symphony of Lungs (2024)
Catherine Opie: 'Dyke Deck' (1995)
Florence Welch (2025) | Lady Lilith (1866)
motherhahn at 'the studio' world premiere
Creating a Thematic Bard
Through Bardic Magical Secrets, any Bard can pick up any 6-8 spells of their choosing depending on their subclass. I thought I’d go through some thematic options for a Bard to choose from to cater to different themes and archetypes the Bard aspires to do. For each, I will offer the 8 spells I would recommend if you were to play as a Lore Bard, and if you pick a different subclass, just elimate two of the options.
HEAVENLY CHOIR 6th Spiritual Weapon, Spirit Guardians 10th Flame Strike, Destructive Wave 14th Holy Weapon, Summon Celestial 18th Divine Word, Holy Aura
THAT INFERNAL BARD 6th Hellish Rebuke, Summon Lesser Demons 10th Summon Greater Demon, Planar Binding 14th Summon Fiend, Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise 18th Planar Ally, Shapechange
WOODLAND WOODWINDS 6th Spike Growth, Plant Growth 10th Grasping Vine, Wrath of Nature 14th Transport Via Plants, Wall of Thorns 18th Tree Stride, Guardian of Nature
NECRODANCER 6th Animate Dead, Summon Undead 10th Spirit of Death, Danse Macabre 14th Create Undead, Finger of Death 18th Negative Energy Flood, Antilife Shell
PYRODANCER 6th Scorching Ray, Fireball 10th Ashardalon’s Stride, Flame Strike 14th Immolation, Investiture of Flame 18th Fire Storm, Meteor Swarm
CRYODANCER 6th Ice Knife, Rime’s Binding Ice 10th Ice Storm, Cone of Cold 14th Investiture of Ice, Otiluke’s Freezing Sphere 18th Wall of Ice, Control Weather
WET T-SHIRT CONTEST 6th Tidal Wave, Wall of Water 10th Control Water, Maelstrom 14th Watery Sphere, Summon Elemental 18th Tsunami, Water Breathing
TAKE THE WORLD BY STORM 6th Thunder Step, Lightning Bolt 10th Control Winds, Storm Sphere 14th Chain Lightning, Investiture of Wind 18th Whirlwind, Storm of Vengeance
DOWN TO EARTH 6th Max’s Earthen Grasp, Erupting Earth 10th Stone Shape, Wall of Stone 14th Bones of the Earth, Move Earth 18th Investiture of Stone, Earthquake
A DANCE OF DRAGONS 6th Chromatic Orb, Dragon’s Breath 10th Elemental Bane, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Draconic Transformation 18th Illusory Dragon, Shapechange
BARDS GONE FEYWILD VOL VII 6th Summon Fey, Spirit Guardians 10th Conjure Woodland Beings, Healing Spirit 14th Heal, Conjure Fey 18th Mass Heal, Wish
FIND ME SUMMON TO LOVE 6th Conjure Animals, Summon Undead 10th Summon Aberration, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Summon Fiend, Summon Celestial 18th Summon Construct, Summon Elemental
ROCKY HORROR NIGHTMARE SHOW 6th Dissonant Whispers, Fear 10th Phantasmal Killer, Dream 14th Mental Prison, Feeblemind 18th Maddening Darkness, Weird
CLOAK AND DAGGER 6th Counterspell, Pass Without Trace 10th Death Ward, Steel Wind Strike 14th Contingency, Simulacrum 18th Feeblemind, Foresight
NECROSIS 6th Inflict Wounds, Wither and Bloom 10th Blight, Enervation 14th Harm, Finger of Death 18th Abi’s Horrid Wilting, Destructive Wave
STEP THREE: PROPHET 6th Augury, Clairvoyance 10th Divination, Commune 14th True Seeing, Detect Thoughts 18th Astral Projection, Foresight
GLOWING REVIEWS 6th Blinding Smite, Spirit Guardians 10th Destructive Wave, Wall of Light 14th Sunbeam, Crown of Stars 18th Guiding Bolt, Sunburst
SIMPLY PSIONIC 6th Mind Spike, Tasha’s Mind Whip 10th Raulothim’s Psychic Lance, Telekinesis 14th Rary’s Telepathic Bond, Synaptic Static 18th Telepathy, Psychic Scream
SONG OF WAR 6th Hunter’s Mark, Spiritual Weapon 10th Staggering Smite, Steel Wind Strike (or) Swift Quiver 14th Holy Weapon, Blade Barrier 18th Conjure Volley, Blade of Disaster
SHIELD MASTER 6th Armor of Agathys, Shield 10th Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere, Wall of Force 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Globe of Invulnerability 18th Forecage, Invulnerability
MAGIC MIKE 6th Magic Missile, Glyph of Warding 10th Arcane Eye, Bigby’s Hand 14th Arcane Gate, Symbol 18th Demiplane, True Polymorph
SPELLBREAKER 6th Absorb Elements, Counterspell 10th Circle of Power, Synaptic static 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Forecage 18th Feeblemind, Antimagic Field
SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED 6th Spiritual Weapon, Spirit Guardians 10th Guardian of Faith, Bigby’s Hand 14th Mordenkainen’s Sword, Blade Barrier 18th Max’s Earthen Grasp, Blade of Disaster
TWO-FACED 6th Alter Self, Water Breathing 10th Guardian of Nature, Stoneskin 14th Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise, Draconic Transformation 18th Animal Shapes, Shapechange MASTER OF ILLUSIONS 6th Blur, Pass Without Trace 10th Phantom Steed, Creation 14th Mental Prison, Nystul’s Magic Aura 18th Illusory Dragon, Weird
A DANCE WITH DEATH 6th Wither and Bloom, Vampiric Touch 10th Blight, Enervation 14th Contingency, Soul Cage 18th Clone, Invulnerability
MERCY MAIN 6th Aura of Vitality, Beacon of Hope 10th Aura of Purity, Aura of Life 14th Heal, Regenerate 18th Mass Heal, True Resurrection
PLAGUED BY GUILT 6th Hex, Bestow Curse 10th Vitriolic Sphere, Contagion 14th Eyebite, Harm 18th Feeblemind, Weird
BLUE EXORCIST 6th Counterspell, Remove Curse 10th Dispel Evil and Good, Banishing Smite 14th Forbiddance, Plane Shift 18th Forecage, Imprisonment
BARD EX MACHINA 6th Elemental Weapon, Tiny Servant 10th Fabricate, Creation 14th Animate Objects, Summon Construct 18th Mighty Fortress, Blade of Disaster
CONCLAVE OF THE HOUND DOG 6th Hunter’s Mark, Conjure Animals 10th Swift Quiver, Conjure Volley 14th Guardian of Nature, Dominate Beast 18th Animal Shapes, Insect Plague
OATH OF MERRIMENT 6th Blinding Smite, Crusader’s Mantle 10th Find Greater Steed, Destructive Wave 14th Staggering Smite, Banishing Smite 18th Circle of Power, Holy Weapon
And of course, you can always mix and match. Going for a Fire Dragon theme? Mix the Pyrodancer and A Dance of Dragons spell lists. As an example:
LOVE AMONG THE DRAGONS 6th Dragon’s Breath, Fireball 10th Flame Strike, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Investiture of Flame, Draconic Transformation 18th Illusory Dragon, Meteor Swarm
These are all the bard themes I could think of, but if you can think of some more that I missed, or have better suggestions for some of my choices, let me know your own thematic magical secrets builds. Obviously, these were made with the Lore Bard in mind, since it gets the most magical secrets, but I’m sure some synergize better with other bard types, such as Song of War with the College of Valor. I just used Lore as the default. How well do these magical secrets builds work for you?
IDGAF if the women in my fiction are empowering or aspirational, I'm an adult, I don't need role models, I want the women in my fiction to be interesting, and if that involves being pathetic, hypocritical, amoral, or trapped in a delightfully dysfunctional relationship so be it
#'this is so illegal/toxic/unhealthy'#yeah bestie thats why im reading about it instead of doing it
One of my genuine favorite parts about agatha all along is the realization that Agatha's very real and legitimate powers come from simply annoying the shit out of people until they try to murder her
lesbian / gay hostility
"kill them with kindness" WRONG. chair attack 🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑
This post is now about a far-right politician and one of the best moments of Brazilian live TV:
@imperfectlibrarian tags are important:
#latam tag#brazil#brazil mentioned#No because y'all don't understand how WELL DESERVED that chair attack was#situation TLDR: the dude hit is Pablo Marçal - he's a con artist turned coach turned politician that has been deceiving people for years#he started his career by selling courses on how to get rich by investing money and overworking yourself until exhaustion#he's one of those coaches that tell people if you're poor it isn't the capitalist system we live in its your fault for not working enough#He himself doesn't do that- he made his money scamming people (he was part of a group that targeted old people)#a few years ago he took a group of people (that bought one of his courses) to a trip to a dangerous mountain during bad weather#and they all GOT STUCK THERE they almost died and the firefighters had to go up there to rescue them#He also would promote surprise marathons to the people who work for him and ONE PERSON DIED by over exercising without preparation#He tried to run for president I'm 2022 but - thank goodness - he didn't gather enough support and gave up#but now he's trying to run for mayor of São Paulo - the largest and one of our most important cities#his political campaign has been nothing but insults to other candidates and denying all his crimes#He has admitted he takes inspiration from ANDREW TATE to make his campaign work#he even got into a falling out with Bolsonaro over being the new face of right-wing conservative leadership in Brazil#The guy who hit him with the chair is Datena - he is a journalist and television presenter#He has hosted for years a sensationalist program about urban violence and is like the most centrist person you'll find#he'll pick the side that is currently “winning”#He decided to run for mayor too thinking he can use his influence as a popular television figure#but polls have show how behind he is compared to other candidates including Marçal#During one of the debates he got insulted by Marçal got up and almost hit him but got stopped#in the most recent one he got insulted again and called a coward but this time he got up and HIT HIM WITH A CHAIR LIVE#and you know the situation is bad when you have to cheer for the fucking sensationalist conservative news host#But Marçal FUCKING SUCKS that chair was for all of us who had enough of this dude#rant in tags
me, begging, tears in my eyes: please. please just tell me what the book is about. the plot. please
a book annotation on the cover, unfazed: A Subversive Masterpiece. A Deep And Touching Story. The New York Times Bestseller. Go Fuck Yourself
sometimes i truly forget that everyone sees characters straight as default bc i saw a comment like “next thing you know they’ll make luke skywalker gay” and im just…….. he…. he is ?
Sylvia Plath photographed by Gordon Lameyer c. 29 August 1954 (The Lilly Library, Indiana University, Bloomington, Indiana)
