Ellie's Tumblr Cacophony

Ellie, She/Her This blog is just whatever random stuff I like at the time, don't expect consistency, or quality Such raving reviews as: "I've seen your page, I know not to be threatened by you" "Your blog makes you seem like the average tumblr pervert"

[wrotten]

there’s a very specific aesthetic i’m going for on this blog and it’s called cool things i like

[dorothylarouge]

[userel]

I literally can't use my normal password for my bank because it has a 12 character limit. WHAT KIND OF BANK HAS A PASSWORD CHARACTER LIMIT???

[anneemay]

[toddsolondz]

destroying and betraying yourself for nothing all by yourself, handsome?

[mousegirlheart]

My friend, the bride: what the fuck are you wearing

Me, having misunderstood "Maid of Honour": *sweeps apologetically* 🧹😔

[userel]

My Employer: what the fuck are you wearing Me, having misunderstood "live in maid": *attends a marriage apologetically*

[mosslingg]

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

[userel]

Bad news, my liege, the enemy queen has transitioned so it's straight again. She has also promptly started a toxic yuri enemies-to-lovers with our ally. She has offered you her evil advisor that wants you dead, though

[ohh-lover]

This says "Megalodon Alive?" in German but I'm so sleep deprived I read it as Megalodon LGBT?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I read it as "megalodon debt?" and thought there must be a super interesting video about some corporation getting weird taxes or fines due to some environmental protection act or something.

[alegazzi]

Ah there it is. The loan shark

[greatwyrmgold]

Maybe this is an unpopular hot take, but I think a good monster girl design should struggle with day-to-day life in a human world. If your monster girl can live a normal human life where her greatest inconvenience is wet dog smell or people assuming her tail is fake, you need to mix more monster in your girl.

Harpies who can't write or type or open most containers with their wings. Werewolves who worry about hurting someone if they get overstimulated at the wrong time. Minotaurs with digestive systems and metabolisms which require grazing throughout the day, not the three big meals humans are used to.

Lamias who have to stay home in the evenings and during cold months to stay warm, otherwise their muscles stop working right and they get stranded. And they're sick of their human friends suggesting they get some kind of tail sweater. It wouldn't help, the problem is that their body doesn't produce enough heat to begin with, and anyways a tail garment would get in the way of their rectilinear locomotion, and there's no way a sweater would survive being walked on in the first place. It feels like they don't actually care about you being stuck at home whenever they go out, they just want to feel like it's not their fault they never see you.

If your monster girl can't be read as some kind of disability allegory, you're doing something wrong.

[userel]

If I can make a cosplay of them in 1 afternoon they aren't monster enough

[jame7t]

my girlfriend is soft and cute & then she uses her teethful fangs on me. so basically I’ve got everything I want…now I have to figure out new life goals. $75 maybe? Life goal 75 dodars ❓

[userel]

$5? Do I hear $5?

[3000s]

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

[3000s]

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

[userel]

Posting 2 sentences with the same word choice in it makes me actually want to die, even in like, a discord message

[igorafvckassbowlcut]

there are days where NO ❌️ video games are played and there are days where video games are played for 10 or maybe 14 hours straight

[userel]

Obsessive Hyperfixation or Executive Dysfunction, call it

[uncharismatic-fauna]

Uncharismatic Fact of the Day

Although Chaetognatha sounds like an eldritch horror, it's only scary if you're a plankton! Chaetognaths, or arrow worms, are microscopic predators found throughout the world's oceans. They hunt mainly by ambush, darting forward to hook a number of spines around their prey and swallow it whole. But as scary as they seem to other microscopic prey, arrow worms are themselves an important source of food for larger fish like anchovies, mackerel, and sardines.

(Image: (Left) A close-up of a Sagitta setosa head by Jan van Arkel and Katja Peijnenburg; (Right) A specimin of Pterosagitta draco by Katja Peijnenburg)

[userel]

would you love me if I was a Chaetognatha?

[pyupa]

heyyy guys and whats up *gets super close*

[userel]

Chimaera

[coolxatu]

in the cambrian period the ocean was shallow and the sun never set. every day was sunday morning and there was never any dark. the world was a watery wonderland and air didnt exist yet. animals had just invented eating eachh other and it was really funny. having eyeballs was all the rage

[coolxatu]

its true ❤

what do you know ❤

[coolxatu]

the ocean was made of sprite also

[coolxatu]

theres been a lot of people on this post trying to correct basically every aspect of what ive said but nobody's confronted me on "everyday was sunday morning"

everybody agrees everyday was sunday morning

[userel]

well every day was a sun day, they hadn't invented rain yet

[mewvore]

Did a challenge where you get a random word and make a comic in one day based on it! The word I got was "boy"

[userel]

I love that, by both pretending to be the girlfriend simultaniously, neither of them actually got to practice being the boyfriend

[punkitt-is-here]

thinking about wind waker again. why did the three goddesses do all that shit

[grimoiremanifest]

LOZ lorehead here! the answer is actually quite interesting, if you'll spare me a bit of time:

it was preddy funy

[punkitt-is-here]

[userel]

to be fair this also DIDN'T kill the one wizard guy, so it very well might've been easier

[contemptible-scoundrel]

enter my WAR ROOM.we can discuss such things as STRATAGEMS and TACTICAL MANEUVERS.. and girlsss