Utter(ly) Random

Where Random Lives!

[utterrandomnesswithlulu]

Long time, no post. Let’s talk about it.

So, uh—hi again.

It’s been a while. Longer than I meant it to be. Life sort of… happened. Loudly. Messily. Chronically.

The short version? Chronic illness knocked the wind out of my sails for a good while.

The longer version includes navigating a rollercoaster of health stuff and spending the last two years volunteering as a social media liaison for a sickle cell agency—something incredibly close to my heart. That work grounded me, gave me purpose, and reminded me why stories (especially the ones we live, not just the ones we write) matter so damn much.

But through all of that, the writing never really stopped. It just got quieter. More private. More afraid.

Because here’s the truth: I’ve been scared to post. Not scared of writing—writing is breath, writing is how I survive—but terrified of sharing. Of hitting publish. Of letting the words leave the nest.

That’s changed. Not overnight. But piece by piece, breath by breath, word by word.

And now—I’m back.

You’ll start seeing updates for the stories I’ve been building in the background:

Resonant – A broken-limbed, resonance-charged sci-fi about found family, trauma, and the kind of healing that doesn’t come easy. (Kaelin is my heart. ORIN is my chaos. Thane is… complicated.)

Velarinai – My first foray into high fantasy, filled with ancient wardstones, dragon eggs, and a girl named Lirana who has no idea the world has been waiting for her. It’s lyrical, emotional, and steeped in mist and prophecy.

Hollow-Born – The weirdest, funniest, darkest thing I’ve written. A ghost-seeing disaster of a girl named Alma del Muro tries not to get claimed by Death. Or cursed. Again. It’s spooky and deeply personal. (If Odd Thomas and Coco had a chaotic little sibling, it might be this.)

Writing again is terrifying. Posting again is even scarier. But to those of you who’ve started reading, commented, followed, or even just peeked at a chapter—thank you. It might not seem like a big deal to you, but to me? It means everything.

So if you’re still here… thank you for waiting. Thank you for caring. Thank you for being the kind of quiet light that helps stories find their way back home.

More is coming. I promise.

[nondelphic]

writing is all fun and games until the scene requires a location

[luna-azzurra]

A non-writer asked me "but where do you get your ideas" and i genuinely did not know how to explain that it's not a place. it's not a website. it's not a folder. it's that i was on the bus and a woman was holding a paper bag very carefully and something about the way she held it made me need to know what was inside and then i needed to know why she was sad about it and then there was a whole person and then there was a whole story and the bus had already stopped and i missed my stop. that's where.

[nondelphic]

writing is just sitting in front of a computer and making up problems for imaginary people while ignoring your own. fun and casual hobby.

[writerscourt]

Consequences of Magic Use

accelerated aging

anxiety and a constant feeling of dread

disorientation / blurred vision

bones cracking and breaking

bruising around hands and arm

burn marks on palms and finger tips

cognitive decline / memory lapses

debilitating migraines

exhaustion / fatigue

eyes reddening when veins pop

greying hair due to strain / eyes losing vibrancy

joint, muscle and limb pain

losing hair, teeth and finger nails

loss of body heat / constantly freezing

nose bleeds / ear bleeds

numbness / slowed reflexes / brain fog

requiring a lot more nutrition and rest

sensitive eyes and ears / raspy, raw voice

twitches and muscle spasms

weakened immune system

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

THISSSSSSS!!!!!!! curate your own internet experience. block them because they’re allergic to peanut butter, block them because they have what you don’t, block them because they dislike your favorite food, block them because you don’t like their layout, block them because you can.

blocking is NOT a personal attack against someone. it’s you curating your own internet experience and catering for your comfort, and you have every right to do that.

you, yes, you!!! you CANNOT tell other people to censor themselves for your own comfort and personal likings. you CANNOT tell them what they can or can’t post. you CANNOT tell them what they can or can’t write. you CANNOT tell them what they can or can’t draw. BUT you CAN block them for whatever reason.

that block button is offered to you for free. use. it.

[livelaughwriteit]

Advice on Endings

I hate ending my stories. I will drag a story on long after it should have ended even though I know it should be done with. If anyone else struggles as well, here is a list of the different types of endings that are common.

Full Circle – Mirror the beginning of the story, show how the tone has shifted from start to end

Bittersweet – Character wins at the cost of something else, creates emotional depth

Emotional resolution – Focuses more on the growth of the characters than the events of the story

Twist – reveal something that changes the readers perspective or understanding

Open – doesn’t answer all the questions or solve all the conflicts of the story, leaving room for interpretation

Quiet – Subtle, reflective ending rather than a dramatic event

Sacrifice – The character has to give something up to achieve a greater goal

Hopeful – Despite the events of the story, there is a distinct sense that everything will be okay

Consequence – Shows how the characters choices throughout the story impact the world or their relationship

Character choice – centers on a decision that defines who the character has become through the story

[nondelphic]

opened my draft, saw one sentence i wrote three weeks ago, closed the draft. healing is not linear

[utterrandomnesswithlulu]

I don't usually share much about my personal life here. Most of the time, I'd rather talk about writing, worldbuilding, fictional people making questionable life choices, and whatever project currently has control of my brain.

But something happened recently that's been sitting with me.

My mother left a job she'd worked at for 13 years because she no longer felt safe there.

Thirteen years.

She didn't leave because she hated the work. She didn't leave because she stopped caring. Quite the opposite, actually. She loved what she did. She cared deeply about the people she helped and the community she served. The work mattered to her.

What ultimately pushed her to leave was feeling unsafe and unsupported. From what I understand, she was yelled at by the Executive Director after taking a sick day because she didn't feel safe coming into work.

As her disabled daughter, this has been especially difficult to watch.

My mom isn't just my mom. She's one of my caregivers. She's spent years helping me navigate hospitals, chronic illness, disabilities, treatments, appointments, and all the unpredictable things that come with living in a body that doesn't always cooperate. She's spent so much of her life taking care of other people, both professionally and personally.

Seeing someone who has given so much of herself feel like she had no choice but to walk away from a job she loved is heartbreaking.

I think a lot about how often we expect people to keep giving and giving and giving, right up until they have nothing left. We celebrate dedication, loyalty, and sacrifice, but sometimes forget that people deserve safety, respect, and dignity too.

No one should be made to feel unsafe at work.

No one should be punished for prioritizing their well-being.

And no one should have to leave a place they've devoted over a decade of their life to because they no longer feel protected there.

I'm proud of her for choosing herself. I just wish the choice hadn't been necessary in the first place.

[luna-azzurra]

People who interrupt you mid-sentence are actually so interesting to me as a character study because what is going on in there. what is happening in your brain where you heard the beginning of my thought and decided yours was more urgent. you didn't even wait to find out where mine was going. it could have been incredible. it could have been the best thing you ever heard. you will never know. i have remembered this specific moment for three years and it is now in a book. you're welcome.

[nondelphic]

the document is open. the energy is hostile. send help ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜

[writingdose]

as a writer, it’s very important that you know this: whenever you tell yourself “this will only be one-chapter-long” that is a lie. your brain is lying to you. it won’t, in fact, be just a short one-shot

[luna-azzurra]

Something nobody prepares you for is that the better you get at writing the harder it becomes. beginners write freely because they don't know enough to know what's wrong. then you learn. and suddenly you can see every single flaw in real time as you're making it and you have to write anyway while your own brain is in the corner going "that's a weak verb. that transition is lazy. you've used that word three times." getting good at this is mostly just getting better at ignoring yourself.

[veronicaleighauthor]

[luna-azzurra]

Some writing advice I will never give up:

Your characters are allowed to be bad people. Your story is allowed to have no moral lesson.yyour ending is allowed to be sad. The villain can win. The good person can do something unforgivable. The lovers can destroy each other. You are allowed to write the thing that no one asked for and everything that everyone told you doesn’t work and you are allowed to not explain yourself.

It’s your story. Burn it down if you want to.

[writingdose]

fanfic writers who type their works directly onto ao3 instead of copy-and-pasting from elsewhere have no fear. fear fears them.

[luna-azzurra]

The most interesting question you can ask about any character is not what do they want. it's what do they believe they deserve. because those two things are almost never the same and the gap between them is where your entire story lives. a person can want love completely and believe they don't deserve it and that belief will destroy every good thing that comes toward them in ways they won't even notice they're doing. write the gap. the gap is the character.