hello. it's me.

memeory full of bad puns

[dog-teeth]

not gonna happen

[chiisana-lion]

[ryebreadedd]

had to make the inverse situation of this. lets give it up for time blindness yayyy

[sadclowncentral]

my dad is currently building a shelf for his power tools in the shed. beautifully poetic - without the tools, he would have no means to build the shelf; but without them, there would also be no need to build it in the first place. the snake bites its own tail. if the tail was makita compact circular saw

[mismedleym]

recollections

[mrporg]

[lezarus]

fun home

[headspace-hotel]

Y'all ever open a book on a new subject, read a little bit, and have to put it back so you can process the way in which your mind was just expanded?

[headspace-hotel]

The textile book: okay here is some of the ways that textiles are important to human life

me: Okay!

The textile book: Clothes separate the vulnerable human body from the conditions of the outside world, and in doing so absorb the sweat and debris of human existence, accumulating wear and tear according to the lives we live. In this way, various lifestyles and professions are represented by clothing, and the clothing of a loved one retains the imprint of their physical body and their life being lived, as though the clothes absorb part of the wearer's soul

Me: ...oh

The textile book: The process of weaving a garment and the process of a child being formed in its mother's womb are often referred to using the same language. Likewise, when a baby is born, a blanket or other textile material is the first material object it encounters and protects it. Textiles can create the idea of two things being inextricable, as with being "woven together," or can create the sense of separateness, as with a curtain or veil that separates two rooms or spaces, even separating the living from the dead, or separating two realities, such as a performance ending when the curtain falls

Me: ...oh God

The textile book: Odysseus's wife Penelope undid her weaving in secret every night to delay the advances of her suitors. In this way she was able to turn back the passage of time to allow her husband to come home. Likewise the Lakota tell a story of an old woman embroidering time by embroidering a robe with porcupine quills. If she finishes the embroidery, the world will come to an end, but her faithful dog pulls out the quills whenever her back is turned, turning back the clock and allowing existence to continue.

me: ...is...is...is that why we refer to the fabric of space and time?

The textile book: The technological revolution of textile making is sadly underappreciated. The textile arts are possibly the most fundamental human technology, as once people created string and rope, they could create nets for catching fish and small animals, and bags and baskets for carrying food. In the earliest prehistoric times, the first string or cord perhaps came from sinew, found in the body of an animal. Because of this perhaps the body of a living being could be understood as made of a textile material. Indeed textiles have the function of preserving life, as with a surgeon stitching back together the human body or bandages being placed on a wound. Textile technologies are being used to create life-changing implants to restore function to injured parts of the body, as though a muscle or tendon can be woven and made in this way. Cloth can be used to create a parachute that will save a human's life as they plummet out of the sky. Ultimately, the textile technologies are used to enter new parts of the universe. [Photo of an astronaut and details explaining the astronaut's suit]

Me: STOP!! MY MIND IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THIS

[headspace-hotel]

The book is "Textiles: The Whole Story" by Beverly Gordon

[aaloosshitposting]

"If I were orpheus I wouldn't look back"

But we look back everyday- rechecking emails, making sure a friend is still behind you, checking to see if you remebered to pick up your keys. It's second nature, a habit of care.

It was second nature for him too. He looked back, not out of weakness, but love. For what is love, if not to look back?

[anotherbookinthelibrary]

An Orpheus who didn't turn around is an Orpheus who never walked down in the first place

[inkskinned]

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

[hedgehog-moss]

I asked a friend to go pick some mint while I went to the greenhouse to get lemon balm, for our herbal tea, and soon after she left she called from the garden "How do I tell the mint and stinging nettle apart in the dark...?" then immediately added "You're about to say the mint smells minty while the stinging nettle stings. Don't!!" and it made me smile and I wished I could take a screenshot of these words, just to keep a little written trace of this uneventful evening. Sure I can write it down (as I am doing), but then I felt wistful about all the other trivial exchanges I don't get to archive. I know with texts and such a lot of them are in written form nowadays and can be saved, but I've always wanted to save everything. I think from now on I'm going to ask my friends to take a monastic vow of silence when they come to my house so they'll have to write everything down, preferably on stone tablets so computer issues and house fires can't make their words disappear. Yes. This way I will finally become cool and laid-back about memory and loss and the ephemeral nature of existence.

[tamarrud]

Israel has killed more children in Gaza since October than in four years of worldwide conflict

[tamarrud]

Like it's been said before that when Israelis and Zionists cry "why do you single out Israel?!", they should in fact be reminded that Israel singles itself out. I mean, who commits violence at this magnitude and then bemoans being the victim??

[so-many-ocs]

[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

[temporalteardrop]

bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time

[temporalteardrop]

BASS?? BASS MAKES A DOLLAR????? IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS AND NONE OF YOU THOUGH TO TELL ME I MISSPELLED IT????????

[catskincass]

FISH TYPO

[ominous-ellipses]

FOUND family??? you think i just found them like this??? babes this is FORGED family. Me & the bros were scrap metal in a junkyard (very valuable, very sharp, very dangerous, uncared for) and we GOT IN THE FUCKING FIRE TOGETHER. WE did this. we said I AM NOT LEAVING YOU and melted into each other for better or for worse (it’s for better) and we are A FUNCTIONAL UNIT now. DO NOT SEPARATE. BATTERIES FUCKING INCLUDED. FOUND family my ass, we built this non-nuclear family unit from the ground up, don’t devalue this!!! it was is and will be a labour of love!!!

[daxdraggon]

[bogleech]

Simple lifeform facts I take for granted that I've now seen blowing people's minds on here:

That sea urchins walk around and have mouths with teeth on their undersides

That corals are related to jellyfish

Barnacles being related to crabs and shrimp

Ants being an offshoot of wasps

Termites being totally unrelated to ants and all similarities just being convergent evolution (they're actually a group of cockroaches, but even science didn't know that part until a few years ago)

Starfish having an eye at the end of each arm

That the bodies of ticks and mites are also their heads, essentially big heads with legs (they even frequently have eyes way up on "the body")

Sperm whales have no upper teeth, and also their bodies are flat from the front

Goats also having no upper (front) teeth

Tapeworms having no mouth at all and just absorbing nutrients over their entire body surface

That flies are bigger pollinators than bees

That moths are bigger pollinators than bees

That wasps are just as important pollinators as bees (more important to many groups of plants) and when we say they're "less efficient" at it we just mean individually they get a little less pollen stuck to them.

That honeybees are nonnative to most of the world and not good for the local ecosystem, just good for human agriculture

That earthworms are also nonnative and destructive to more habitats than the reverse

There being no hard biological line between slugs and snails; all slugs aren't necessarily related to each other and there are gastropod groups where some have shells and some don't

That ALL octopuses (not just the blue ring) have a venomous bite

Most jellyfish and sea anemones being predators that eat fish

"Krill" being shrimp up to a few inches long and not some kind of microbe

Blue whales therefore being the deadliest predators to ever evolve as they eat up to several million individual animals per day

That krill are still "plankton" because plankton refers to whatever animals, algae and other organisms are carried around by the sea's currents, not to any particular group of life or a size category

Fungi being no more related to plants than we are, and in fact more like a sibling to the animal kingdom if anything

Venus fly traps being native to only one small area of North America in all the world

Parasites being essential to all ecosystems

Leeches not having a circular ring of teeth anywhere

That algae is not a type of plant

That most seaweed is just very big algae

That enough wood ends up in the ocean that plenty of sea life evolved to eat only wood

Speaking of which the fact that the "ship worms" that make tunnels in wood are just long noodly clams

Butterflies technically just being a small weird group of moths we gave a different name to

That insects only get wings once they reach maximum size and therefore there can never be a younger smaller bee or fly that's not a larva

Spiders not being any more likely to kill their own mates/young than just a cat or dog might, for most species maybe a lot less often?

[headspace-hotel]

so many areas have been un-wetlanded and we need to re-wet them. if there is an area that makes a big puddle for days every time it rains everyone wants to make a channel to make the water go away faster. but actually that solution creates muddy polluted water flowing rapidly into the streams. the real solution is to dig a wide shallow pit to become a pond and make the water hang out for longer so it can become the cattails' and rushes' home. make sure to make the edges a gradual slope so the frogs can get in easily btw

[great-and-small]

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

yall the comedy wildlife photography results are coming out atm and

look

LOOK AT THIS LIL MAN

THANK YOU BRIAN MATTHEWS HOLY SHIT HES GOT SUCH A CASE OF THE MONDAYS

[tunnaa-unnaa]

It's a crime not to link the whole thing, they are all fantastic! https://www.comedywildlifephoto.com/gallery/finalists/2023_finalists.php

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

Bonk

[teaboot]

Personal fave

[tunisian]

god i see what you do for others…….

[araekni]

[ID: Three tweets by sim sim (@/mec_au_fusain). The first contains an image of a pastel drawing of a young woman sitting in the back of a car at night, from the perspective of someone sitting next to her. Through the windshield, the lights of other cars are visible, and tint the whole picture red.

The first tweet reads:

Drawing my girlfriend with pastels [smiling face with hearts emoji]

The second tweet reads (with edits to syntax for readability):

Little story about this drawing: Me and my girlfriend are [in a] long distance relationship, and whenever she comes to Paris, we take a taxi from the airport to the apartment I wanted to show this kind of intimate moment we share in the car, the feeling of her presence once again 1/2

The third tweet reads (with edits to syntax for readability):

The driver being here kind of act[s] like a barrier between us, we are finally able to reunite but yet not in the fullest form There is a lot of tension in the air, the smells of her perfume, the warness of her skin... so I used the red colours to represent all [these] feelings I love her

End ID.]

[the-haiku-bot]

The second tweet reads

(with edits to syntax for

readability):

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.