Jelly-Hime @valentacool - Tumblr Blog

dogmotif-deactivated20240505

i love tumblr because sometimes i get an urge to rb posts about something nobody likes and everyone just politely ignores me. everyone's like oh he's fallen into madness again, he'll be fine later i guess

badjokesbyjeff

A young couple dies on their way to their wedding

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in Heaven. St. Peter said, ‘I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,’ and he left. The couple sat and waited for an answer…. for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? What if it doesn’t work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?’ Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. Yes,’ he informed the couple, ‘You can get married in Heaven.’ ‘Great!’ said the couple. ‘But we were just wondering; what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?’ St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground. ‘What’s wrong?’ asked the frightened couple. ‘OH, COME ON!!!’ St. Peter shouted. ‘It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it’ll take to find a lawyer?

moki-dokie

JEFF

scientia-rex

I just read this out loud to my husband, a lawyer, and the face he made was DELIGHTFUL

funkyness

i think strawberry shortcake is a lesbian

pixelartpeach

crtter

IS THAT A FUCKING MANATEE

crtter

I mean sure sure zooboomafoo is there too but look at this guy! He has hair!

mr-elementle

That's justin mcelroy

crtter

Mr. McElroys, sirs… it’s an honor…

seizememesofproduction

dinkywinks

this scene from the goes wrong show where they cast two different people as the head and hunky, semi-nude body of the same character during a live theatre production haunts my every waking moment

gaysemiotics

Now THIS is physical comedy

sassyabrahamlincoln

do you ever get your period and just think about your recent behavior like wow that explains a lot

pocketss

so hard to find a decent exorcist these days :/

sabertoothwalrus

I found this post I’d made a while ago and decided to animate it:

sabertoothwalrus

this is such a specific emotion that’s unique to the sibling experience and if you don’t have siblings, please understand that this emotion does not contain nearly as much anger or annoyance as it does bafflement, fondness, and too-tired-to-process-this

sabertoothwalrus

yeah he is in fact the youngest I’m glad you could tell

omnybus

The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil

travesty-majesty

OP this is such a raw line what the fuck

worthikids

alienfuckerdeluxe

Aliens: Wow you guys sure are completely normal and not at all indescribably horny.

NASA *beating the alien fuckers with a broom*: Yep. Just a completely normal species. no inappropriate lusting for extraterrestrial booty here, no sir.

drakovictorious

I couldn’t let this be hidden in the replies

earthdad

ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog

turtlegirl521

“miss piggy would make it look like an accident”

blackreigen-deactivated20190402

gaara naruto and sasuke share an apartment and they have a douchebag jar (new girl) where u put money in every time you act like a tool and naruto and sasuke could pay rent with the amount of coin theyre throwing into it

blackreigen-deactivated20190402

sasuke: [walks into the living room, wallet out, and instantly deposits twenty dollars into the jar] i cant find my fucking versace bag and i swear to god naruto if you fucked it up im going to murder you [leaves and slams the door to his room the KEEP OUT sign falling to the ground] naruto: ……. gaara: naruto……. naruto: i was just borrowing it i couldnt find my gym bag and i needed to carry my jock strap somehow gaara: jar

blackreigen-deactivated20190402

gaara, a boy who was born so rich that he could buy both sasuke and narutos shitty cars with his birthday money from when he turned twelve: do you really not have a favorite summer home? naruto, a boy who has eaten ramen for three weeks in a row and hasnt gone to the doctor since he was fourteen: are you implying that i have multiple summer homes? gaara: ……..you only have one summer home????? sasuke: JAR! MONEY IN THE JAR! AND MAYBE A WATCH OR TWO WHILE YR AT IT gaara: [embarrassed and regretful as he pays his dues] im sorry it wasnt my intention to alienate you. i know i had a sheltered upbringing and im still unlearning classist ideals so i apologize for any discomfort i caused with my thoughtless words. thank you for continuing to call me out for the ways i harm you. i really appreciate and respect you for this and ill strive for better in the future. naruto: sasuke: naruto: oh my god take your money back sasuke: booooooooo! naruto: why cant you just be an asshole like the two of us? sasuke: booooooooo you make the jar no fun boooooooooooo gaara: i dont. understand. sasuke and naruto: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

kkoongie

Discord screenshots that make you feel like you’ve been approached in a dark alley

sabertoothwalrus

I don’t think we appreciate how much Howl’s jacket being casually draped over his shoulders contributes to his Vibe™. Can you imagine how different his whole aesthetic would be if his Jacket was buttoned all the way up