Xavier has noticed where you have been checking out recently. Well, who you have been checking out, to be more precise.
He does not want to feel jealous. You and he are working on that a lot.
But he cannot help but want to be the only man and woman you love.
Duration: 7500 words
Posted on 24th April, 2026
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Tags: NSFW, Dom!MC x Sub!Xavier, Feminised!Xavier, Genderplay, basically it's Xavier dressing up and roleplaying as a girl, Strap, Dildo, Cunnilingus, Deepthroating, Oral Sex, Pegging, Anal Sex, Cowgirl Position (or Cowboy but since he's roleplaying as a girl), Delayed Orgasm, Multiple Orgasms, Dry Orgasms, Chastity Cage, Slight Overstimulation, Use of CN Honourific, 2nd personal POV for reader
Note: This is a fic to celebrate my 600 days of playing the game!
In the fic, Xavier uses the Chinese honourific "jiejie" to call the reader. This is a social honourific for an older woman/girl or a woman/girl you respect. This does not mean to call the reader "sister". It is like Miss but way less formal, more flirty, and is strictly social/romantic here.
This is also a roleplay so there will be some acting from both sides and I really just let Xavier be free to be as green tea as possible.
(If you don't know what green tea is, it's a term originally used for women who act too cutesy and weak to gain favour and affection from other people (usually men). However, it was quickly changed to be used also for men who also act weak and helpless for the attention and affection of their crushes.)
The reference/inspiration for his outfit (recommended by oomf): Link to Twitter
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Xavier is a jealous man. He is well aware of that.
It was not easy for him to enter this relationship with you, the only relationship he has ever had with you across your multiple lifetimes.
It is only natural that he has given himself a duty to make sure this relationship will never fall apart and that you will only love him.
So, one can only imagine his panic when he realises you have been checking out some women while going shopping with him.
At first, he thought you were just checking out their outfits, but once he saw you staring intensely at a woman in old, baggy clothes, he understood it was not about what they were wearing at all.
So Xavier figured you are attracted to women, too. And now he does feel a little bit scared. He does not want to compete against more people.
He needs to show you he can be as versatile as you want him to.
He needs to make a plan.
Xavier starts ordering a few packages to his house (he triple-checks to make sure the address is correct) and sorts through all the products he has bought to make sure you will like what he will show you.
For two whole weeks, that is all he does. Planning and learning.
But what he needs now is an opportunity.
~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~
Your week has been stressful and full of hectic schedules. Xavier has not been able to meet you much, except for some quiet moments at night, spent solely on sleeping.
You are more irritated than usual, but he does not mind it. His patience is enough for both.
But it is not healthy for your health, which demands relief soon. He can help with that. He wants to help with that.
So, he goes through the schedule you shared with him and picks a good day to carry out his plan. You should not be tired that day, and also have a day off right after to rest.
He finds a day - next Friday. Your work that day will mostly be deskwork, while his will be physical. Perfect. He can wrap up his work early and come home to prepare the surprise for you.
Even just thinking about it makes him giddy. He cannot wait.
~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~
D-Day has arrived. He calls early and tells you (lies to you) that he will be home late, and you should eat out before going home.
He figures you might get to spend some time with your friends first after the hectic weeks.
Meanwhile, Xavier goes home and showers happily, putting on the clothes he has bought and laying out all the toys that he thinks you might want to use.
He is not sure what kind of sex you might want to have later, so he has been staying off food all day and cleaned himself…
Just in case.
He texts you one just to ask when you will make it home.
"Maybe in 15 mins"
"Have you gone home"
As he receives your texts, Xavier smiles to himself and texts back to tell you that he is "on his way".
He gets a cat gif saying "Okay" back from you.
Then he lights the scented candle and dutifully kneels at the bedroom door to wait for you to come home.
~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~
"Xavier, I'm home!" You call from the doorway, taking off your shoes and jacket before rushing to the bathroom to freshen up and get rid of the grime and dust of the city outside on your face.
His work shoes are neatly placed in the cabinet by the door, so you are assuming that he has arrived home before you.
It is already late, way past dinnertime, but the house is strangely silent. There is a gentle scent of… some sort of flowers, but no sound can be heard at all.
"Xavier? Are you home?" You call again, frowning a little. You were hoping to meet him at home. You barely got to spend any time with Xavier for a while now with that hectic schedule…
Feeling a bit upset, you tell yourself he might be out to eat. Maybe he will come home in a bit.
The strange smell of sweet flower, though… it seems to come from the bedroom. You wonder if he has brought some back from Jeremiah's shop.
You head in the direction of the bedroom, planning to change out of your clothes and maybe lie down a bit while waiting for him to go home.
However, the sight before your eyes when you open the door is not what you were expecting at all.
"Welcome home, beloved." Xavier smiles at you from his spot on the floor, wearing a cute white puffy crop top and a pair of denim shorts.
Women's denim shorts, to be exact.
The types that fan out a little at the hem with some white fabric layers underneath, making them look less like shorts and more like a skirt.
He even puts on just a little makeup, making his lips redder and cheeks blush like the roses you and he are growing on the balcony.
"What…?" You look around, a bit confused, but appreciating the sight nonetheless.
Some objects on the bed catch your eye, and now you can feel the heat creeping up on your face.
"I figured you want to release some steam after… You know?" He peers up, pouting his lips a little.
"And is this how you will help me release… some steam?" You grin, bending down to look closer at his face.
"Exactly." He beams back, tugging on your trousers. "Don't let all my preparation go to waste, alright?"
You pet his head.
"Don't worry, I won't."
~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~
You agree to roleplay with him. Xavier said today he wants to be your sweet girlfriend, from the way he dresses to how you can call him. You have not the faintest idea of why he decided to do this, but you will humour him and happily play along.
So you kiss his cheek and take off your jacket. You will make sure to pamper him well today, treating him like the pretty girl he is.
You cup his cheek and caress his soft skin a little. Xavier closes his eyes and turns his head to kiss your palm.
"Do you want me to call you a different name, or is your real name okay?"
"I think I prefer being called by the nicknames you gave me." He nuzzles against your hand.
"Alright, baby, stand up and let me see what you're wearing."
You help him to his feet and lead him to the bed. Then you sit down on the edge and tell him to give it a twirl.
Xavier does as he is told, giving you a full look at his outfit. He even wears a brand new pair of cute shoes, which makes him slightly taller than he already is.
You reach out and tug him closer by his hands before grabbing his waist and squeezing slightly.
"But I'm wondering… which kind of sweet girl you might be?"
"I can be any kind of sweet girl you want me to." He looks down at you, stepping closer to stand between your legs.
"Surprise me then. I'll make sure to play along to whatever you choose."
"I want a kiss first. I prepared this well for you--" He boldly asks, batting his eyelashes teasingly.
You chuckle and pull him down into a sweet, slow kiss. His lipstick smears with yours, mixing into a brand new shade of red.
Leaving his lips, you make your way down his jawline, peppering more pink marks on his skin, nibbling gently to make him breathe faster.
At the same time, your hands travel down his thighs just to slide up into his shorts, caressing his butt behind those layers of fabric.
Xavier whines softly, lifting his chin so you can have better access to his neck.
"Beautiful…" You hum, biting him slightly.
"Ah… yes, just for you." He squirms in your hold, hands clumsily trying to grab your arms.
You are pretty sure he is putting on an act for you for now, so you are even more determined to make him lose his mind later to the point of being unable to act anymore.
Pulling Xavier onto the bed, you firmly make him sit on your thighs while you continue the assault on his neck and collarbone area as he whimpers and arches.
His hips start to move, causing his lower body to grind on your thighs. And even through a layer of denim shorts, you can feel a slight bulge poking at your skin.
"Good girl, Xayxay…" You pull back and cup his cheek, rubbing your thumb on his lower lip. "Open your mouth for me."
He obeys, playing the role of a shy, sweet girl perfectly, and opens his mouth just enough for your thumb to slide in.
"Suck." You order. Xavier quickly does as he is told, his tongue flicking out to lick your finger before he closes his lips around it and sucks diligently.
"That's my girl." You whisper, grabbing his ass behind his shorts.
Xavier pouts, causing you to chuckle a bit before taking your hand back. But he suddenly leans forward and catches your fingers with his teeth, biting just gently.
"Are you teasing me?" He murmurs in a soft, airy tone.
"Can't you tell?"
Xavier huffs, but says nothing. So, you continue.
"You can put a bit more effort into being my sweet girlfriend, you know?"
He frowns a little, thinking hard before his lips curve up into a sly smile. You can immediately sniff out something naughty in those thoughts he is having.
"Jiejie…" He calls sweetly, subtly lowering himself to look up at you with adoration in his eyes.
Your face reddens quickly. If you did not know this is your boyfriend acting as a cute girl, you would call this a "green tea behaviour".
(Well, Xavier has always been a bit green tea anyway, with how he keeps baiting you by acting all pouty and needy…)
But you shake it off quickly, lifting his chin up.
"Say that again."
"Jiejie…" He pouts. "You like cute girls like me, right?"
You bite the inside of your cheek, trying not to laugh and ruin this whole roleplay. But fuck… Xavier is so good at being a cute girl.
You close your eyes and take a deep breath. He is getting to you. Then you open your eyes and quickly recompose yourself.
"Well, yes. And you are the cutest of them all." You grin and cup his nape to pull him closer. His face is merely a few centimetres away from yours, and his warm breath is caressing your lips.
Xavier's eyes glance down a few times, and he swallows hard.
"Scared?"
"No."
"Why do you look nervous then, Xayxay?"
"You look like you want to devour me."
"Isn't that what you want?"
"Yes, but… there's something different about you today."
You chuckle before pinning him down, trapping him under your body. Xavier gulps, but you can see the excitement in his eyes. If he had bunny ears, they would be twitching frantically now.
Straightening, you reach for the lipstick on the nightstand and reapply it to your lips. Then, you start kissing his neck, leaving red marks all over his skin.
"Call me like that again, and I'll give you a proper kiss." You whisper to him as he moans under a gentle bite.
"Jie… Jiejie…" He whimpers.
"That's my girl." You praise before lifting yourself and kissing him deeply. The lipstick on your lips is almost gone, now having marked his neck and collarbones in a dark shade of red.
Your hands wander lower to his hips and carefully untuck his blouse so they can freely roam on his body.
When you first came into the room, you could already tell he was wearing a bra underneath (though, normally, his big boobs should already be wearing one, not just when he pretends to be a girl), but you are surprised to touch lace lingerie underneath his blouse.
You need to get him out of this outfit, no matter how good he looks.
So you unbutton his top quickly, almost ripping off a few buttons. Xavier gasps, having been caught off guard, pushing himself up a little for you to pull the blouse off him.
The red lace bra catches you off guard, standing out on his pale skin. As Xavier takes a deep breath, your eyes are glued to his big, captivating bo--
"Jiejie…" His soft voice calls you back to reality.
You clear your throat, feeling blood rushing to your face and ears. Xavier must have noticed your reaction already, which is why he is grinning mischievously.
"Do you like what you're seeing?"
You swallow. He looks so inviting right now, and your hands actually twitch at the thought of touching and grabbing him.
Xavier takes your hands and puts them on his chest.
"Feel me… don't hold back."
Your hands start to roam his skin, gently pinching and rubbing to feel him better. Xavier arches, moaning quietly.
"Not enough… I need your mouth on me… Jiejie, please…" His big, deep blue eyes stare at you, begging. And who are you to reject it?
You dip down and bite the side of his neck while your hands slide under his bra to finally explore what is underneath. He gasps out a pained groan, yet his body keeps pressing against you as if asking for more.
Your fingers have found his nipples and start to tease him by pinching and rolling the little buds, making him moan louder. Meanwhile, your mouth is kissing and nibbling your way down to his collarbones as your tongue occasionally flicks out to taste him.
His hands are lingering on your hips, tugging on your shirt a little. You did not notice this at first, too busy playing with him. But as his fingers brush past your skin, you immediately realise what he is doing.
"Trying to do something, bunny?" You chuckle, blowing a warm breath on his chest, right above his bra.
"I wanna feel you more… Please, jiejie…" He pouts, tugging on your shirt more desperately.
"Be patient…"
"I don't want to wait anymore…!" He huffs, and a pout is forming on his lips as he tries to pull your shirt up.
You grab his wrists and pin them down above his head, leaning down to whisper in his ears.
"Bad girl, Xayxay…" You nip at his lobe.
"I don't want you to tease me anymore."
"If you want to be rewarded, you have to behave." You state, ending his tantrum there.
Xavier struggles a little in your grip, but then becomes pliant, only scowling a little as you straighten a bit to look at him.
"But your little hissy fit won't go unpunished, baby. Open your pretty mouth."
His scowl deepens for a moment before relaxing, and he reluctantly opens his mouth.
You spit into it to his surprise. And before he recovers from the small shock, you close his mouth shut with one hand.
"Say 'thank you', Xayxay."
"T…Thank you, jiejie."
"Good girl."
When his eyes light up from being praised, you immediately swoop down to kiss him, pushing your tongue into his mouth.
"Suck." You give him a quiet order, and Xavier complies, sucking on your tongue while making small, random sounds of pleasure from the back of his throat.
"That's my girl." You pull back, complimenting him as he preens a little, looking slightly proud of himself.
"Thank you…" He hums, closing his eyes for a quick moment.
You slide your hands under his ass, past the fluffy layers of his shorts, to give him a little squeeze. Xavier gasps, arching as he spreads his legs.
"Jiejie… stop teasing me…!" His hands make their way to his shorts' button, trying to free himself from the piece of clothing.
You grab his wrists, tutting as you stop him. Xavier whines, clearly unhappy. But the bratty whine quickly turns into a high-pitched moan when you press your knee to his crotch, rubbing a little.
Something hard, like metal, pokes back at your knee from behind his shorts. Curiosity rises in your heart, and now you want nothing more than to strip him bare of this pretty outfit and find out what he has prepared for you.
But you cannot let him have this so easily… no.
"Beg nicely, and jiejie will do it for you." You purr into his ear, testing out the honourific. It rolls off your tongue naturally.
"Please, jiejie… take off my clothes…" He looks up at you with big blue eyes, batting his eyelashes a little. "I've been a very good girl for you, haven't I? Please, jiejie… I'll do whatever you tell me to do…"
As he speaks, his legs keep slowly spreading further and further apart. You know Xavier is super flexible with all his training for battles, but fuck…! Whenever he takes advantage of that for sex, it turns you on so damn much.
"Come on, jiejie… use me." He gives you a small pout, and oooh… something has snapped.
You quickly unbutton his shorts and pull them down in one smooth movement, revealing his lace panties. Xavier gasps, almost closing his legs on instinct.
You throw his clothes down onto the floor and push his thighs apart to admire his preparation for you. The panties, if they can be called that, are merely laces put together with a cute bow on top. There is a slit in the middle, and as he arches subconsciously, you can see the base of his butt plug - the metal one with a purple gem at the end.
And his dick… well, your question is finally answered. It is neatly locked inside a small metal chastity cage, still leaking pre-cum.
You chuckle, pleased with what you are seeing. Xavier gulps nervously under your stare, knowing he has done a good job of attracting you.
"So pretty… I'll make sure to treat your… pussy nicely today." You smile and slide a finger into his panties through the slit, pushing the plug deeper into his hole.
Xavier moans quietly, and you can see his entrance clench just a little around the metal toy.
"Let me… serve you too, jiejie… I'll be your best girl…" He huffs out, tugging on your hand.
"Oh? So you will do as I say, right?" You grin at him, and Xavier nods frantically. "Good girl, Xayxay."
You tug on his plug, pulling it out slightly and then pushing it back in. Xavier groans, pushing himself down to grind on your hand, but you pin him down with your free one, making him stay still while you tease him.
"Ahh…" He gasps out your name, the honourific temporarily forgotten. You smirk to yourself, hand moving faster while you bend down to bite on his shoulder.
Xavier writhes beneath your body, trying to cling to you. A pained yelp escapes his lips, yet he does not push you back. Instead, he sinks deeper into the feeling of submission and lets you do whatever you want to him.
Your mouth nibbles its way down from his shoulder to his chest, pressing your tongue to his nipple through the fabric of his bra. Xavier squirms a bit, trying to get you to touch him more.
"Such a needy little bunny." You hum, pushing your tongue into his bra, tasting his skin.
Your right hand comes up to play with his other nipple, pinching and rolling it between your fingers, drawing a few more moans from him.
But you still let the bra stay on him, dishevelled and wet as it has gotten. Xavier seems to be a bit annoyed, but soon, you wrap your lips around one side of his chest and start sucking, and his throat can only produce those sounds of pleasure once more.
After sucking both sides of his chest and having enough fun, you straighten and grab a bottle of lube from the pile of toys and other necessary stuff Xavier has prepared.
"W-What are you d-doing, jiejie…?" He asks, a bit out of breath.
"You'll see." You give him a wink and pin him down again, kissing him deeply. Your hands push his legs open, and you gently pull the plug out of him.
Xavier moans in surprise into your mouth, and you thrust your tongue into his. Meanwhile, you lube up your fingers without being noticed by him and poke at his entrance.
"Ah… jiejie…" He gasps. "Please… ah…"
"Please what? Use your words, Xayxay…"
"Please…" His ears redden. "F-Fuck me with your f-fingers…!"
Normally, he does not curse. But these words sometimes slip out during sex, and you can never resist the urge to pound on him. So, you crash your lips against his once again, just as your fingers enter his "pussy", pumping in and out slowly.
He clenches around your fingers, and soft, fluttering walls seemingly trying to swallow the digits greedily. You let him have it, pressing your fingers to his walls, curling them to rub at his prostate.
Xavier cries out during the sloppy, clumsy kiss he is sharing with you. You bite on his lower lip, tugging a little on it while pressing hard at his prostate, causing his eyes to roll back.
"Such a greedy pussy, Xayxay. You won't even let me pull my fingers out, huh?" You tease him as his hole clenches hard around you.
"Nghhh…" He moans feverishly.
"Can you even cum, Xayxay?" You tease, laughing at him a little. "Or do you need a bit more in your cute little cunt?"
He whimpers, writhing underneath you, hole clenching tightly. Inside the cage, his cock twitches and keeps releasing more and more pre-cum. It cannot erect, and you actually don't know if he can cum, but he can still have a dry orgasm.
Though him cumming thought the tiny hole in his cage would be really fun to see.
You add the third finger, stretching him out a bit more. However, this size is barely anything compared to what you had done with him before.
Keeping him pinned down, you keep pumping your fingers into his boypussy relentlessly. Xavier's hands are clinging to you, digging his nails into your skin while demanding more.
You kiss him when he sounds too desperate, and Xavier happily lets you dominate his mouth as well. At the same time, his body tenses up, and you can tell he is about to reach his peak.
"Come on, bunny, cum for jiejie." You breathe into his mouth, urging him. Xavier moans something unintelligible back, so you assume that he means he is cumming soon.
You curl your fingers and rub harder at his prostate, whispering praises of how he is such a good, pretty girl if he cums from your fingers alone.
As soon as the last word leaves your lips, Xavier jolts up, convulsing wildly as he orgasms, writhing uncontrollably against you. His cock twitches, but no cum spills out, signalling a dry orgasm.
It is fine. You still have more for later.
Xavier pants, lips parted as warm breath caresses your ear and cheek from how close you are next to him. Your fingers are still moving in and out slowly to help him ride out the pleasure, but they are no longer pressing at his prostate.
"Jiejie… felt so good…" He nuzzles.
"Good girl, Xayxay." You praise, kissing his forehead before pulling your fingers out and wiping them clean with a towel he has prepared beforehand.
"Thank you…" He pushes himself up. "Tell me what to do next, I wanna service you." He pouts.
You know he is asking to eat pussy in his own, indirect way. However, this is about how you will enjoy him, not the other way around. But maybe if he knows how to make you happy, it can be his reward.
"Stay still and wait for me." You give him an order before stripping yourself of clothes. Xavier's eyes are glued to your body, and you can even hear an audible gulp from him.
"Love… what are you…?" The usual pet name slips out before he even realises it. You ignore him and put the strap on.
"Pick one." You gesture to the dildos he has put on the bed.
"Me?"
"Yes, you. Pick the one you want. And pick carefully."
Xavier looks at the toys. You and he have collected quite a lot of different toys after a while, even the number of dildos only…
He picks up a pretty big one. Not the biggest one, but enough for him to struggle to take it the other day.
Xavier gives it to you, and you proceed to put it on. Then, you lie down.
"I want you to ride me." You give him the lube bottle. "Do it yourself since you want to service me so badly."
His eyes widen, but he quickly pulls his panties down. They have been moved around quite a lot when you fingered him. The front barely covers his cage, and most of the fabric is wet from the lube and his own pre-cum.
"Have fun. Do what you want." You did give him an order to ride you. However, you love giving him room to improvise and play around before getting to it.
So, you are not exactly surprised when he decides to lower his head and tries to give you a blowjobs first.
"Can I touch you as well? Not just the strap…" He asks, receiving a small nod from you.
While his tongue is busy licking the dildo up and down, his fingers gently run up and down between your folds, dipping in and out. You hum in satisfaction, encouraging him.
Xavier takes the toy into his mouth just as his fingers enter you completely, curling up to find your G-spot. Meanwhile, he is trying to suck "your dick" off like it is real, even going as far as to deepthroat it.
You love entertaining him. So, you thrust up a little to make his eyes water so prettily. Xavier gags, trying to breathe before bobbing his head. His lips, which are still pink from the remnants of the lipstick, tightly wrap around the girth of the toy.
"Such a pretty girl, sucking me off like this." You grab his hair, pulling a little. His fingers inside you stop moving for a few seconds. But when he realises you are not pulling him off the toy, they start again.
You push his head down slowly until his nose reaches the strap, and the toy is hitting the back of his throat.
"Look at me, Xayxay."
His glossy eyes look up, and he starts to struggle to breathe. The toy is truly big. His mouth is fully open to fit the girth of the toy.
"Aww… can't you breathe?" You say to him with mock sympathy. His hand has stopped completely, letting his fingers rest inside your pussy from how much he has to concentrate on sucking the dildo.
When his eyes start to lose focus, you let him go, and Xavier pulls back almost right away, taking in big gulps of air. His hand leaves your core, and you almost pout at the loss, but you want to see how he will continue with this.
Xavier looks back at you with pitiful eyes.
"Jiejie, you're so cruel."
"But did you love it?"
…
…
…
"I did." He admits after a moment of hesitancy. Then, he licks his fingers clean. "You taste so good. Please, can I?"
You give in and say yes, since he was so good sucking on the toy like that. Xavier smirks to himself as he lowers his body and starts nibbling on your thighs. The dildo stays in its place, proudly pointing to the ceiling while Xavier feasts.
He drags his tongue from your inner thigh to your cunt, gently parting the folds. Then he licks up to your clit and sucks hard. His hand returns to your core, his fingers sliding into your fluttering entrance and starting to move again.
You wrap your legs around his head, trapping him there. Your thighs are pressing against his ears, keeping him in place. Not like you need to because even if you want him gone now, you have to remove him by force.
Once he is allowed to eat your pussy, there is barely anything that can stop this man from having his fill.
You grab his hair again, pulling him even closer to the point of pressing your whole cunt to his face. Xavier does not mind, continuing to suck and thrust his digits into you diligently.
Already aroused from fingering him earlier, it does not take you long to cum. Your mind goes blank as your body tenses up right before your essence spills out of you, which Xavier quickly laps up, not wasting any drop.
You can even hear a few happy noises he makes, almost like a giggle, right before your legs loosen around him, and you pull his head up by his hair.
Xavier's face is blushing red, and he is licking his lips like a cat after eating its dinner.
"Happy?" You ask, still a bit out of breath after that orgasm.
"Hmm… very. I want more."
"No."
"But…!"
"Get up. You had your fun. Now I want to see you ride me."
His eyes, which have now become more focused, dart to the dildo. He picks up the bottle of lube next to your legs and straddles you.
Xavier pours a generous amount of lube onto the toy and starts stroking it. You bite your lower lip, trying to imagine it as him stroking your di…
He interrupts your thoughts by getting up and reaching down to lube up his entrance on his own, pushing his fingers in and out alongside the lube.
You can see him swallow, grabbing the dildo with one hand while the other braces against your body. Then, he sinks down slowly.
"Ah-ahhh…" Xavier moans softly, shifting around a little to try taking it in deeper. He did pick a rather big toy.
"Good girl… go slow." You encourage him, holding his hips with both hands to help him out.
"It's big…" He pants, but it does not sound like complaining.
"I know… you're doing well…" You coo a little, reaching down to stabilise the toy and help open his entrance a little bit more.
Xavier whimpers once half of the toy is in. Now that your hands are holding the toy, his own are free to leave to grab your shoulder so he can stay balanced.
It takes a while, but soon, the dildo is buried deep inside him to the hilt. He stays still to breathe, kneeling on both sides of your hips.
Your hands roam his body, massaging the tense muscles gently to make him feel better. His ears and face are all red from the effort to take all of the toy's length into his hole.
"Are you good, Xayxay?"
"Yes… it feels go- I mean, I'm good." His slip of the tongue causes you to laugh a little, and he pouts. "You can't make fun of me…!"
You reach up and cup his cheek to bring him down for a sweet kiss to soothe him. Xavier hums against your lips, seemingly satisfied now.
As the kiss drags on, his hips start to move, grinding and bouncing on your strap. You grab his ass with both hands, supporting his movements.
His pants and moans keep getting louder and louder, and you keep swallowing his breath as he does not pull away from the kiss. His tongue desperately flicks out to get a taste of your lips, and you take the opportunity to bite it to tease him.
"Ahh… hahhh…" He groans, finally straightening. His cock, locked in the chastity cage, bounces up and down with his body, but is totally helpless from its confinement.
You smack his ass hard, making Xavier cry out loudly and arch. Fuck, he looks so damn good right now that you cannot help but squeeze his ass hard.
"Jiejie…" He whimpers. You take your hands back and reach up to grab his chest, pinching his perky nipples. "Nghh… ahhh…."
More high-pitched moans keep falling out of his lips, and you relish in the sounds. Even though he is lost in the pleasure, he never stops his roleplaying, and you love him so much for that.
You roll his nipples between your fingers, pulling on them slightly while thrusting up into his 'cunt'. Xavier whines louder, jolting up like he has been electrocuted.
"Won't you cum for me, Xayxay? Are you gonna be a good girl again for jiejie?" You poke into the tiny hole of his cage, rubbing his tip with your finger.
"Ahh~ That feels s-so good…" He whimpers, almost doubling over. "R-rub me… please… I'm y-your good g-girl… AAHH!"
He bucks up, eyes starting to water as you poke the small hole of his cock.
"Sensitive?" You thrust up hard.
"Y-Yea… very…"
"Oh?" You poke again. He almost sobs at the overwhelming sensation, bouncing more desperately on the toy.
"W-Wanna c-cum… ple-please…"
His hips start thrusting forward as well on instinct, but all it does is make the tip knock hard against your finger, which keeps making him more and more overstimulated.
"Please… tell me… t-to cum… I've been y-your good g-girl…" He begs, whimpering, repeating the same words over and over again. You can tell there is barely anything left in his mind, just this big ass toy in his boypussy and your touch on his skin.
You smack his ass again, and he audibly sobs.
"Not yet."
Your words seem to cause him to cry, overstimulated and desperate for release. Drool is dripping from the corner of his mouth as his lower body never stops moving on the toy.
"PLEASE LET ME CUM! I'M YOUR GOOD BUNNY JIEJIE! I'M A GOOD GIRL PLEASE…!!!" He wails, his movements becoming clumsier and sloppier.
Since he is so sincere…
You slam your strap up into him, bottoming out. Then, you tug hard on his nipples, ordering loudly.
"CUM!"
White essence spills out from his tip almost instantly, leaking through the little hole of the chastity cage as he screams in ecstasy. You hold out your arms to catch him as he falls forward and convulses uncontrollably.
Your hips keep on moving slowly for a few more moments to prolong his orgasm while he sniffles and mindlessly mumbles something you cannot quite catch.
Carefully lowering him to the mattress, you pull out of him and check. His entrance is still gaping from taking such a big toy, pulsing gently. You trace your finger around it, making him twitch and jolt.
"T-Too much…! Ah!" He stammers, closing his legs, which you let him do. But you are not done with him.
"Enjoyed your little ride, bunny?" You ask, getting a nod from Xavier. "Of course you did. You even 'squirted' quite a bit."
You wipe up a little bit of his cum on his belly and raise your finger to his lips. Xavier flicks his tongue out to lick it clean, keeping up his good girl image.
"Cute."
"Thank you." He leans forward to nuzzle his nose against your hand.
You take off the strap and continue to pamper him so he can regain his strength for the last round. You give him (and yourself) some water, wipe his face clean of drool and give him a few gentle kisses. Xavier still has more than enough stamina, but the denied orgasm really wore him out a bit more than usual.
"Bunny, where is your cage's key?" You ask, whispering into his ear.
"Hmm…? You wanna unlock it?"
"Just tell me."
He points at the nightstand, where a silvery key is lying neatly next to your stuff. You move it closer to where he is resting, but make no move to free him.
"Still up for more, bunny?" You grin, massaging his thighs. Xavier says yes without hesitating.
You mount him, pressing your hands to his chest. Xavier's breath hitches in his throat, and his eyes sparkle with excitement. Normally, you like him to top a lot since he has more stamina, so the sight of you hovering above him always sends a thrill through his body.
With his eyes half-lidded, he smiles at you like an idiot as his hands grab your thighs.
"Are you going to ride me, jiejie?" He looks hopeful.
"What do you think?" You lift his chin with your finger.
"I think you should let 'me' out."
"And… you've been enough of a good girl to earn that?"
He nods. After all, he has been nothing but obedient and sweet.
"I'm your best girl, jiejie. I'll always be your good girl." His head dips slightly, and he gently licks your finger, which has slipped past his chin.
Xavier continues to nibble on it, raising his eyes to look at you as if begging. You make a small gesture to open his mouth, then slide some digits into it.
"Hmm…" He sucks.
"Pretty girl." You praise him, and he giggles on your fingers.
His tongue trails up and down before abandoning them, licking down your palm while his teeth carefully nip at your skin.
It tickles a little, but you don't mind it. And he looks super cute like this, which only arouses you even more.
You quietly move yourself lower until you can grind against his chastity cage. Xavier's eyes widen as soon as he finds out what you are doing, and a loud whine erupts from his throat.
"You're being cruel to me."
"Am I?"
"You know I can barely feel it."
You laugh at him and swoop down to take a bite of his cheek since he looks so damn cute. Xavier yelps, holding a hand on his cheek right after you let him go.
"Why?!"
"You look like a rice ball. I just wanted to bite you so badly." You chuckle, teasing him some more.
"You are really, really cruel."
"Oh? Then I guess I should live up to my reputation." You grin at him, and Xavier realises he has fucked up.
But before he can say anything, you are already cuffing his hands to the headboard, and Xavier pulls on it helplessly. Rules of the bedroom: No Evol unless discussed beforehand or agreed upon during sex acts. And he knows you will not let him free himself with his Evol anyway
Then, you take another strap and toy to put it on him while pinning him down as he protests. He was expecting you to free him, and this was not a part of his plan.
"What? Using a strap on my lovely girlfriend is only reasonable, right?"
"You…!"
"Ah-ah! Bad girl…" You tut.
Your 'lovely girlfriend' can only watch you lube up the toy and hop on it, lowering yourself until the whole length disappears inside your body.
Well, you usually prefer the real thing to toys (unless it is a vibrator), but you will fuck around with him some more.
You start to ride the toy, which is placed slightly above his trapped cock. Your hands still play with his nipples, giving him the barest minimum of pleasure to keep him on edge, but never enough to actually feel good.
Xavier instinctively thrusts up as you move on top of him, bouncing and grinding, even rubbing yourself with one hand while the other is occupied with his chest.
Your poor lover is getting more and more frustrated as it goes on, and soft whimpers and pleas never stop falling from his lips. He is desperate and wants to feel you around him, but you are in control now.
"Want me to ride you for real, bunny?" You huff, asking at last.
"YES! YES PLEASE!" He almost sobs in relief.
"Whose girl are you, Xayxay?" You drag a hand down his neck.
"I'm your girl! I'm your pretty girl… your obedient girl… please…"
"Good. You're mine, Xayxay."
"I'm yours… I'll always be yours… jiejie, please…"
He is visibly shaking, hands gripping tightly to the cuffs while stammering random words to beg for his 'freedom'.
"Since you're so sincere…" You caress his chin a little, then slow down on the toy, carefully lifting yourself off it.
"Thank you, jiejie… thank you…" He whimpers, watching you free his cock from the cage.
As you touch his flesh, Xavier hisses loudly. You can already guess how sensitive it is from the redness. It is not soft, but still only half hard from being suppressed in the cage.
"Hah…! Be careful… please…" He writhes.
"I will… just relax, bunny."
Testing the water by gentle touches, you whisper quiet praises to him and slowly ease the leftover pain from being in the cage for a good amount of time while doing strenuous activities.
"Good girl, Xayxay… stay still for me, alright?" You keep stroking him tenderly, and soon his hisses and gasps turn into moans of pleasure.
His body twitches, producing more pre-cum, which coats your hand and helps make it easier to jerk him off.
"Such a pretty girl… you're doing so well…" You coo softly, getting on top of him again. Only now do you remove the dildo you were riding earlier from the strap, holding it in your hand.
"W-What are you doing with that toy?" He glances back and forth between your face and the object in your hand.
"Open your mouth, Xayxay…" You wave the toy.
He gulps, but still obediently does as you said. You push the dildo into his mouth while sinking down on his now fully hard cock.
"Hm.. mmphh…" He moans around the silicone, eyes rolling back as your warmth envelops him.
The toy you picked is not particularly long, since you already knew you would not cum on it and only used it to play around with him. The girth is still big enough to have him stretch his mouth out for it to fit, however.
Xavier gags, and you grind faster on his cock. All he can do now is clumsily sucking the used toy, swallowing your juices on it, and taking your pussy like the good girl he has been.
You rub yourself with your free hand, trying to control your pace to maintain the pleasure for both yourself and Xavier.
His breathing has become heavier while his cock keeps twitching inside you. He is cumming soon, you can tell. You need to catch up with him.
You push the toy deeper into his mouth, hitting the back of his throat, and Xavier's eyes widen as he gags and chokes before you pull the toy out completely and kiss him.
He tastes like you, tangy and a bit salty, both mixed into the sweetness of the kiss. At the same time, you clench around him, and Xavier cums instantly, spilling out inside you.
Your hips' movements stutter when the warm, wet feeling spreads around in your heat, and you finally orgasm, cunt pulsing around him as if milking for more.
Xavier is uncuffed and pulled into your arms when the intense pleasure finally passes. You keep the kiss going, whispering sweet nonsense to him, ending the roleplay.
He whines quietly, nuzzling like a needy cat. His hands cling to your body, holding you flush against his own.
"Are you okay, Xavier?" You ask and kiss his forehead.
He nods, humming softly. So you decide to pet his head and play with his hair a bit more until he can talk to you better.
A moment of peace goes by, and Xavier looks up at you.
"Do you feel better now? Less stressed?"
"I do, actually. Thank you, love." You touch your nose with his. "I love you."
"I love you too, starlight. I was a convincing pretty girl, right?" He beams, the tip of his tongue poking out a little between his teeth.
"You were. My most beautiful and sweetest girl." You let out a giggle, and he laughs with you. His hand comes up to brush your hair back, cupping your cheek for another kiss.
"Stay with me for a bit… then we should clean up." He whispers as you pull away.
"Sure, bunny. Just for a bit, though."
Your body is tangled with his while both you and Xavier gently caress each other's bodies.
"Why did you decide on this to roleplay?" You gesture vaguely to the messy pile of women's clothes.
He rubs the back of his neck and swallows hard. The tips of his ears, which have just returned to their natural colour, are reddening again.
"Well, I've noticed something recently…" He starts to tell his story.
FIN.
~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~
I always welcome comments (directly here or on my strawpage at alexlittlestar.straw.page) so don't hesitate to leave me a few words ☺️ (Read this as: I need validation and motivation to write).
ft. claude clawmark x f! reader — ttt, nijisanji en
contains: smut!! 2.6k words┊switch claude & reader
➤ author's note: finally getting back around to finishing the character alphabets i promised T-T
━━━ .°˖✧ a is for aftercare ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ what are they like after sex?
╰₊✧ he’s a little silly, although he doesn’t do it intentionally, stretching himself out the same way a cat would while making jokes that make you giggle with a roll of your eyes. they’re always so awful, a little less than the quality of dad jokes, but you’re so infatuated with him that you smile anyway. after he does that, he’s quiet for a moment before quickly remembering that he’s a gentleman, jumping out of bed in the most cartoonish manner to fetch you all the essentials while you recover. he gets the job done, but not without making you double over in laughter because he managed to stub his toe on the table while giving you water.
━━━ .°˖✧ b is for body ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ what is their favorite part of them and on you?
╰₊✧ on him, he’s very proud of his physique, but particularly his arms. he’s put a lot of effort into them by going to the gym multiple times a week and watching his diet, and knowing how much you adore his body as well, he’ll send you some suggestive photos of himself missing an article of clothing or two if he’s in a cheeky mood. however, it should be noted that he’s unable to dish out what he serves, so if you’re being a tease by sending him something back, then he’d probably have to rush to the nearest restroom because of how fast he got a boner.
╰₊✧ he’s obsessed with your tits, despite how vulgar it sounds, although he loves your entire being. big or small, he loves to idly hold them in his hands or rest his head on them as though they were cushions. if his mouth isn’t on your pussy, then they’re on your breasts, swirling his tongue around the perked nipples like a baby.
━━━ .°˖✧ c is for cum ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ anything to do with cum.
╰₊✧ with how much he loves your boobs, he has a thing for cumming on your chest and watching the white drip down it. he usually pulls out at the last second, and regardless of whether he’s thrusting into your hole or into your mouth, he’s always finishing on your chest if the position permits.
━━━ .°˖✧ d is for dirty secret ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ what lewd things have they been hiding from you?
╰₊✧ everytime he comes across something that isn’t safe for work, whether it’s a porn video, lustful fanart, or dirty paragraphs of smut, his mind always substitutes the naked woman on the screen for you, even if she looks nothing like you. he doesn’t tell you this because he doesn’t want you to think he’s actively searching for these things on purpose, but twitter’s algorithm is so messed up that he sees things he can’t unsee every other day, but when the image flashes in his mind of your nude body in the same pose, then he isn’t sure he wants to forget it.
━━━ .°˖✧ e is for experience ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ how experienced are they? do they know what they are doing?
╰₊✧ claude has probably slept with one or two people before meeting you, so he has a general idea of what he’s doing, but he’s more than eager to learn how he can improve so that he can have you feeling pleasure like you’ve never felt before.
━━━ .°˖✧ f is for favorite position ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ self-explanatory.
╰₊✧ he isn’t really too picky about it and is flexible enough to pull most of them off, preferring to just assume what feels the most comfortable and natural at the moment.
━━━ .°˖✧ g is for goofy ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous?
╰₊✧ your boyfriend can be funny, but it’s never intentionally, and he frequently gets embarrassed by his mistakes while you’re trying to save his ego by holding back your giggles. sometimes his dirty talk falters, sometimes he slips out, sometimes his voice cracks, and he’s mortified every time, but he’s so cute and, depending on how obvious it was, you usually just pretend you didn’t notice anything.
━━━ .°˖✧ h is for hair ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes?
╰₊✧ yes, the rumors are true, his bush is also opalescent, although it’s slightly darker than the hair on his head and noticeably curlier. it’s neatly trimmed, but it grows quickly out of control, and because of the unnatural color, you’ve never been able to really get used to it and can never help but stare for a couple of seconds. claude himself isn’t quite sure how he feels about that, but leans more positive.
━━━ .°˖✧ i is for intimacy ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ how romantic are they in the moment?
╰₊✧ if you want him to be romantic or it’s a special occasion, then he can go all out with the romance. rose petals, candles, chocolates, champagne, and everything else that’s all things extravagant and thoughtful. he’ll tenderly hold you in his arms, pepper your face in kisses, and whisper words of love into your ear while gently thrusting into you. it doesn't just end with the sex either, as he’ll carry you over to the bath and help you clean up while praising how beautiful you are.
╰₊✧ although, if you want him to be rough and unforgiving, then he might be a little confused at first, but he has no problem throwing you over his shoulder and tossing you onto the bed with a reminder to use the safe word if it gets too intense.
━━━ .°˖✧ j is for jack off˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ do they masturbate without you? if so, how?
╰₊✧ sometimes it happens while you’re away, sometimes he doesn’t have it in him to bother you when you’re relaxing, sometimes he gets frustrated over a game or potion recipe, but he thinks he does it more than the average person does. he tries to be quiet when he’s fisting his cock, although he doesn’t do a very good job at hiding the pathetic little whimpers that slip out while he’s whispering your name.
━━━ .°˖✧ k is for kink ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ what kind of freaky things are they into giving and receiving?
╰₊✧ mild bsdm (as the submissive one) - seeing you be dominant over him has him absolutely feral to the most shameless levels possible (especially if you go the extra mile to dress up in all black leather and high heels? oh, he might pass out before you even touch him). he’s not really much of a masochist and wouldn’t enjoy anything hardcore like spanking or being whipped, but he’s all for being tied up and edged while you degrade him for being such a desperate little whore.
╰₊✧ pegging - he was so nervous bringing it up, but it’s something he’s always wanted to try. although he was a little stiff at first, it certainly helped that you were extremely gentle and constantly checked in to see how he was doing. once he got used to it, he quickly found himself obsessed and would even ask you to be rougher with him.
╰₊✧ aphrodisiacs - it’s not frequently used or very potent for that matter, but every now and then, he brings back a potion, perfume, or chocolate that invokes deep desire and makes you both feel everything in a more sensitive and sensual manner. (it’s not that he doesn’t think you two can’t arouse each other just fine, but he thinks it just adds a little bit of extra fun.)
╰₊✧ lingerie & body worship - maybe he just has a thing for seeing you all dolled up, but when he sees you emerge from the shadows all dressed up in silk, satin, or lace, he can feel himself start salivating like an untrained dog. you look so gorgeous that he doesn’t even want to take it off all the way, just kissing and sucking at your succulent skin while raving about how pretty you were, getting off at the way you would sigh and moan.
╰₊✧ breast/thigh fucking - i will not be elaborating
━━━ .°˖✧ l is for location ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ what are their favorite places to have sex?
╰₊✧ anywhere in the privacy of your own home works for him. he’s not too much of an exhibitionist who gets off on the idea of possibly being caught or overheard, but it has happened on a few occasions where no one even noticed that the two of you snuck off to fuck in some broom closet or whatever because of how busy the location is.
━━━ .°˖✧ m is for motivation ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ what turns them on?
╰₊✧ seeing you do the little things turns him on, watching your jacket slip off your shoulders while you’re taking it off, watching you apply your lipgloss, or even just moving closer to him when you’re cuddling. he doesn’t usually think of himself as much of a pervert, but he’s just so obsessed with you that it’s difficult not to feel his heart racing when he’s merely looking at you.
━━━ .°˖✧ n is for no ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ what are their turn-offs and things they wouldn’t do?
╰₊✧ he would never do anything to hurt you, even if he isn’t opposed to being hurt by you himself, because it just doesn’t feel right to him to be giving the pain. he also isn’t a fan of roleplay just because he finds it impossible to hold character and to keep a straight face.
━━━ .°˖✧ o is for oral ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ how do they give you head and react to receiving it? which do they prefer?
╰₊✧ giving head - he gets off on knowing how good he’s making you feel, and even if there’s zero fiction going on for him, he can feel his cock standing at high attention at the way you gasp when he puts his mouth on you. his tongue piercing only elevates the feeling, with the contrast of the hard metal against the soft muscle making you shudder with delight.
╰₊✧ receiving head - he tries his best to compose himself, he really does, but he always ends up a breathy mess who can’t stop squirming for the life of him. claude blushes easily, and it’s evident with the pink dusting his face while you’re sucking him off, his hand on your head while he’s unsure if he wants to push you away because it’s too much to handle or if he wants to pull you closer because he wants more.
━━━ .°˖✧ p is for pace ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?
╰₊✧ he’s usually somewhere in the middle, but it can differ depending on the occasion. it’s never completely one or the other because he always feels like he needs to be romantic when he’s going too fast and like he needs to speed things up when he’s being too gentle.
━━━ .°˖✧ q is for quickie ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ what are their opinions on quickies?)
╰₊✧ your boyfriend isn’t against them in the slightest, and the two of you have initiated them on more than one occasion, but he doesn’t think anything beats the sensuality of taking his time in the bedroom. although, he will admit, nothing quite beats the rush of having time constraints either.
━━━ .°˖✧ r is for risk ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ are they game to experiment? what kinds of risks are they willing to take?
╰₊✧ he’s willing to take risks, especially if it’s on him. maybe he has some sort of experimentation kink after years of testing out potions and spells on himself, but he has so much fun whenever you’re testing out different toys and kinks on him, almost as if he likes the feeling of being used by you. however, if you did turn the tables and had him test out new things on you, he would end up getting nervous, even if it wasn’t too hardcore, because he’s scared of hurting you or causing you discomfort.
━━━ .°˖✧ s is for stamina ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ how many rounds can they go? how long do they last?
╰₊✧ claude used to barely be able to do any more than a single round, but once he started working out and improving his stamina, then he could last a good four rounds for quite some time before he has to tap out.
━━━ .°˖✧ t is for toys ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ do they own them? do they prefer to use them on you or themselves?
╰₊✧ he was one of those guys who couldn’t even pick up an adult toy without feeling like a child who looked a little too deeply into their parents’ closet, but he curiously bought some online to see what the hype was about, and once it got mixed in with your bedroom activities, he kept them in the bedside drawer for convenient access.
━━━ .°˖✧ u is for unfair ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ how much do they like to tease? do they like to be teased themself?
╰₊✧ he doesn’t usually tease you very much, preferring to give you everything you want and a little too much of it by overstimulating you instead. although, he loves being teased and edged by you himself, even if it borders on sexual torture. sometimes you’re even a little bit concerned about it because you’re worried it might be too much for him, but when you see the orgasmic look on his face, you know he’s exactly where he wants to be.
━━━ .°˖✧ v is for volume ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ how loud are they? what kinds of sounds do they make?
╰₊✧ oh, he’s loud and makes sounds so pretty that you wonder if he used to be a pornstar or did those not safe for work boyfriend audios before you met him with all those moans and whimpers. he tries to pipe down most of the time, particularly if you’re not fucking in a convenient location or if he knows the neighbors are home, but it’s impossible when you’re making him so good.
━━━ .°˖✧ w is for wild card ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ what’s a random sex headcanon?
╰₊✧ claude owns a lot of really randomly patterned underwear, so sometimes in the heat of the moment, you’ll be stripping him of his clothing only to find that his boxers have little angry goombas from super mario all over them. they never ruin the mood entirely, but you can never help but crack a smile and a little giggle while he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck.
━━━ .°˖✧ x is for x-ray ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ what’s going on under those clothes?
╰₊✧ he’s relatively buff with his years of gym training, noticeable muscles that can pick you up and toss you around with ease, but he prefers to hold a more gentle disposition. his cock is a perfect six inches and stands straight, not too girthy, although it’s just enough to give you a little resistance.
━━━ .°˖✧ y is for yearning ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ how high is their sex drive?
╰₊✧ as a young man who is deeply infatuated with you in both body and soul, he has a higher sex drive than some and usually pulls you into the bedroom with lustful intentions about four to five times a week, sometimes even more, considering how easy it is to get him worked up.
━━━ .°˖✧ z is for zzz ˚₊ ⊹
╰₊✧ how quickly do they fall asleep after the act?
╰₊✧ after all the aftercare is done and wrapped up, he’ll do a final check-in with you to ensure you’re perfectly alright before even thinking of going to bed. he usually falls asleep a little after you do, just because he wants to see your eyes flutter shut and pull you closer to him to cuddle.
#THIS WAS A FUCKING ROOOOOMAAAAAAANCE moment #one of those moments when i knew jacob tierney Got the genre #bc this look of conflict and desire and the fact that shane CANNOT SEE IT #it's that and the big spiel in russian where it's like... this is why dual POV in a romance is so important and 9/10 times the better choic #(w exceptions!) #if you're a perceptive audience member (and not everyone is lol) you can tell that shane is not getting the full picture #you know that ilya's feelings are real and intense #but shane not knowing and YOU knowing makes the tension even better (tags via @mermaidsirennikita)
china finally making uncensored bls means china now has a bl "style" and i love that that style is FUCKING UNHINGED that style is WEIRD and HORNY and full of LIES AND BETRAYAL im obsessed genuinely
I think neil and andrew create a buzzfeed unsolved-esque true crime podcast where they create the most batshit theories and then hate on the police for an hour
When Chengyu wakes, he doesn’t rush to open his eyes.
The blinds in the office have been pulled and the glass walls are opaque so no one can see in. It doesn’t matter that he’s lying in the middle of Suwei’s meeting area with nothing but one leg of socks.
He wants to sit in the moment just a bit longer. Before he has to get up and face the fact that this was a one-time thing and everyone else would be fine to just move on.
So, he dwells.
He relives the night they’ve just had. Pretends that it’s memories of multiple days in the past and a promise of days in the future, rather than just the few hours spent in gasping delight. Over and over, their cries ring in his ears, a melody Chengyu never dared to want. At least, not openly.
Not when he has one man.
Because wanting two is preposterous.
Wanting three is the greed they speak of in the Bible.
Chicheng is everything Chengyu remembers. And more. He’s focused and deliberate and every moment of intimacy reads like a duty. It’s overwhelming to be the object of Chicheng’s desire that Chengyu wonders how Suwei handles it. He’d been thankful not to be alone with Chicheng. Thankful that he had the stares of others to share Chicheng’s attention because Chengyu was in over his head.
Xiaoshuai was a sight to behold. He thought he’d seen every side of his boyfriend. They never held back with each other, but Xiaoshuai had never been this dominant. Not with Chengyu. Not the way he asked for things, eyes glistening in anticipation, positioning them around like he was the director in the play. Chengyu didn’t think any man would ever hold chicheng from climaxing till he watched Xiaoshuai command him to stay. Lips red from biting, hands gripping Xiaoshuai’s waist, staring up at Xiaoshuai in nothing but lust, Chicheng had obeyed. Held on till he was told to go ahead. Like a good boy.
And there was Suwei.
Chengyu thinks he’s been doing it wrong, all his life. Because he should have fucked while looking in a mirror more. A mirror would return his look of desire. A mirror would understand his moments of urgency and his moments of slow, steady rhythms. A mirror would look him in the eye with the same amount of intensity as Chengyu was feeling, at every given moment.
However…
A mirror wouldn’t do the things Suwei has done.
A mirror wouldn’t feel so good, rubbing against him. A mirror wouldn’t whisper inaudible words in his ears as they grinded towards gleeful oblivion. A mirror wouldn’t enter Chengyu with care and uncertainty as Suwei, even when Chengyu's body was brimming with the very same uncertainty.
Chengyu fights a gasp that causes his eyes to open.
He regrets it immediately.
The sun is out and reality will set in as soon as he admits he is awake.
When he sits up to search for his clothes, he hears quiet voices coming from beyond the shelf that divides Suwei’s office. The others are already awake. He counts and all three voices are still present. No one has left.
“...not everyday,” Suwei says, a small giggle following the practiced coyness in his voice.
“He’s lying,” Chicheng says, obviously for Xiaoshuai’s benefit.
“You said you wouldn’t tell anyone,” Suwei chestises.
Moving a little faster, he gets dressed, not bothering to button up as he emerges to the brighter part of the office. Three pairs of eyes light up the moment they see him.
They’ve moved Suwei’s PC to the side of the table, while the other side is covered in trays of food and coffee cups still steaming.
“He’s alive,” Chicheng says dryly, offering him a cup.
“Good morning,” Chengyu says, moving to stand beside Xiaoshuai because… well, he’s familiar and considering how jittery Chengyu feels, he’s craving familiarity like a drug. “What are we talking about?” he asks as he takes a sip of coffee.
“Chicheng says they have sex everyday,” Xiaoshuai explains.
The coffee goes down the wrong pipe and Chengyu has to cough to keep from choking. He can’t believe they’re even talking about it.
“Sorry,” Suwei says, patting Chengyu gently on the back as he finds himself gravitating towards him. “Are you a child?" he asks. “Do you need a feeding bottle for your liquids?”
Sighing, Chengyu moves back into Xiaoshuai’s space because he’d forgotten that Suwei had a sharp tongue. On a normal day, he’d be able to match Suwei’s snark, but Chengyu isn’t really into it. Not when he is dreading what is to come.
“Are you okay?” Chicheng asks with a frown.
“Yeah,” he says with a nod, looking down at the food to see if he can distract himself, or the others.
“I don’t think we can do this everyday,” Xiaoshuai says. “I’d neglect the clinic. We’re not jobless children. We have responsibilities.”
“It doesn’t have to be everyday,” Chicheng says. “We can plan it.”
“Plan sex?” Suwei asks, cringing. “Why don’t we just fuck when we want to fuck?”
Chengyu blinks as he tilts his head to see if he is hearing things correctly.
“I want to fuck everyday,” Chicheng states.
“You’re being unreasonable,” Xiaoshuai says.
“He’s really not,” Suwei replies.
“We work in three different places,” Xiaoshuai says. “We live in two different homes that are across town from each other. How will we get anything else done if all we’re doing is either driving to meet or fucking?”
“What do you think?” Chicheng asks.
It takes a moment, but eventually, Chengyu realises that Chicheng is talking to him. He clears his throat and looks around as the others return his stare.
Waiting.
What does he think? He doesn’t know. He hasn’t even had a moment to finish wallowing in the most magnificent night he’s ever had and now they’re… just… talking about it like it’s nothing? Like it’s that easy?
“I don’t know,” he says. “I thought this was a one-time thing.”
He feels the air shift as the others adjust themselves, sitting up in place. The smiles fly right out the window as confusion sets in. Apparently, none of them had considered it. Chengyu was the wet blanket to come in and ruin it.
“Uh…” he continues. “I didn’t know we, we were, you know… planning to do this again.”
“Oh,” Suwei says, looking at Chicheng like he expects Chicheng to solve it.
But Chicheng isn’t planning to. Chengyu has seen that look. Chicheng is closing up, pulling up to his full height, hands finding his pockets as he stares down at the floor.
Chengyu feels a hand touch his delicately. He looks down at Xiaoshuai.
“Is that what you want?” he asks.
Chengyu has a thousand answers lined up on his tongue. He’s trying not to mess with the marvelous thing he has going on with Xiaoshuai. He hasn’t had a real boyfriend before. He knows what he’s supposed to do. He knows what he wants to do. He has to make sure he’s doing the right thing with one person before he professes his love to two more. He’s ready to say that.
When he opens his mouth, all he hears is, “No, that’s not what I want.”
“What do you want?” Suwei asks.
It’s soft and hesitant. Like Suwei is handling something fragile. Like this wasn’t a topic he was taking for granted two minutes earlier.
“I…” he starts, feeling a roiling in his stomach that he knows he won’t ignore. “I don’t want this to be a one-time thing,” he admits.
Suwei’s smile lights up something in him as Chicheng finally looks at him again.
“Why did you say that, then?” Chicheng asks, almost sounding genuine in his irritation.
“I just wanted us to talk about it,” Chengyu says.
“We are talking about it.”
“No,” Chengyu shakes his head. “You’re talking about sex. You’re talking about this thing like it’s just a bunch of friends getting together to fuck and then go back to work.”
Hissing, Chicheng walks over to him, grabs him by the neck and kisses Chengyu with so much force, their teeth clash. It’s harsh and nothing like the kisses they’ve shared. But beneath all the hostility and anger in Chicheng’s kiss, Chengyu feels something that is so painfully familiar. An unresolved, simmering sense of longing that he’s always known. It’s so draining that when Chicheng pulls away, Chengyu is relieved that he doesn't have to face all that unhappy want.
“Did that feel like ‘just sex’ to you?” Chicheng asks.
Unable to speak, Chengyu shakes his head from side to side.
“I want everything from you,” Chicheng says. “I want to fuck you. I want to want you. I want to talk to you. To share everything with you. I want to look at you and feel like you’re as obsessed with me as I am with you. About everything. Everyday. I want…” Chicheng’s voice breaks. “This isn’t just sex, you fucking moron.”
Chengyu feels like a moron. It’s true.
Then again, he wishes everyone would cut him some slack. He’s usually the genius of the group but something life-altering has happened and he’s scrambling to deal with it. In his own way.
“What if someone doesn’t want that?”
“I do,” Xiaoshuai says, peeking out from behind Chicheng.
“I do, too,” Suwei says, taking Chengyu’s hand and kissing his knuckles.
“What if something happens?” he says, his heart clenching at the thought of spending time apart, but not really. Experiencing what he went through with Chicheng, but with two more people. “What if we fight?”
“We fight all the time,” Suwei says. “But now, instead of two people being silly, we’ll have two more people to be objective parties and pull the others back by their ears.”
Chengyu can’t help the tiny laugh that escapes his lips.
“It’s not just fucking?” he asks.
“No,” Xiaoshuai says, kissing him chastely as Chicheng removes one hand to let him in. “We can make this serious. Go steady.”
“Go steady?” Suwei asks, coming to join the circle as he kisses Chicheng on the shoulder. “Are you twelve?”
“It’s a valid term to refer to a serious relationship.”
“If we’re, as Shuai puts it, ‘going steady’,” Chicheng says, “we still haven’t solved the problem of actually spending time together and being responsible adults.”
“We can meet here,” Suwei says, waving at the office. “I got no complaints when you all were fucking here last night.”
“So Chengyu and I would be the only ones spending fuel money?”
“I can send you fuel money,” Chicheng says, kissing the top of Xiaoshuai’s head.
“Or we can all just move in together,” Chengyu says.
The room goes silent as the others freeze in unison. It hadn’t been said lightly, but he’d thought at least one person would have an objection. They don’t object. They stand in that moment, deep in thought like Chengyu has just dropped the most profound piece of wisdom to ever exist.
“Whose house?” Chicheng asks. “Because ours is bigger.”
“Ours is in the middle of town,” Xiaoshuai says. “An easier commute for everyone.”
“What about the snakes?” Suwei asks.
“They can live in my garden,” Chengyu offers.
They can live anywhere, to be honest. Chengyu doesn’t really care what the other three decide. A home isn’t where or what, it’s who? It’s the men in the office with him. The ones he’s seriously considering risking it all for. Because there so much beneath the raw skins they’d scraped during the night. So much more for Chengyu to feel and know and be sure of.
Too much that Chengyu knows he cannot deny it any longer.
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