oh, worm?

|kara|26|

[mint-swirl]

life pro tip: pokemon held item rules apply to you too. hold onto a single berry and eat it when you feel weak. hold onto your leftovers to nibble at throughout the day to regain stamina. hold onto ultranecrozium z to attack your foes with the light that burns the sky.

[revretch]

Yeah, the doctors ran some blood work and discovered I was actually the Thing all along. No, I don't know if my insurance will cover it

[parkchanwoohoo]

[389]

when Marianne Williamson becomes president

[hollowboobtheory]

not to be problematic but i literally do not give a shit about age gaps when dating vampires. they thirst for your blood. "but it's predatory!!!!" yeah. it is. "they're preying on you!!!" they're vampires. they do that. "it's a power imbalance!!!!!!" what part of vampires are you not getting

[garbagequeer]

im ALWAYS saying this. at least we’ve got jughead

[toritheestallion-deactivated201]

me at Olive Garden at 11:02 am staring down the elderly people impatiently waiting outside knowing we should’ve opened 2 minutes ago but my boss is in the back cheating on his wife with the girl who makes the salads and he has the key to unlock the doors

[mosticonicposts]

certified iconic post

[objektum]

There's something quite charming about relatively small objects that are way heavier than they look. ooohh you're one dense little freak aren't you

[animentality]

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

Everybody’s on this new club drug called “Greek yogurt with berries, granola and a dab of honey.” Shit’s wild

[baradragon]

about to lie to the government by using my google generated SSN

[oneheadtoanother]

[the-grollican]

working in an office is just like being in a horse movie except the horse is a printer. im the only one in the office who can make it work and its because the printer and i have a special bond. its a wild and untamable spirit and we are going to win the big race

[a-yoda-a-day]

[lenn-ey]

crossfaded on apple slices and peanut butter

[andrewblurmoved-deactivated2024]

having to ask people if you’re still hanging out is one of the worst things ever . like is our playdate still on? im gonna stab myself

[sableleatherywingsopeninthe711]

his pussy was like a Whataburger frier. and brother. i was the last rat in texas