/ˈfɑnəkuk/

mostly mental illness posting

[vannenkoek]

...

been exhausted lately. a bit scared of what camp's gonna look like. i'm more excited than i have been in years, but more emotionally unstable than i had hoped to be, too

[posthumanwanderings]

[ Policenauts (Sega Saturn) - Ed’s House (NoPlay) ]

[posthumanwanderings]

[ Policenauts (Sega Saturn) - Director’s Office (NoPlay) ]

[vetchtibbles]

a moment of silence for my roommate who has to endure me doing linguistics homework. out loud. making sounds with parts of my mouth and throat I didn’t even realise I could use to make sounds. repeatedly and with passion

[teacupsandcyanide]

i think the moment of silence needs to come directly from you on this one

[handageddon]

[fforsythiaaa]

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

[tennisribbons]

I think what makes the possibility of zverev winning this slam also so horrific is that it’s not just going to be someone winning who doesn’t deserve it, but how it’s also going to reinforce the normalisation of just accepting abusers in sports spaces. Tennis is not the first sport that this has happened too, in fact we just had a club winning one of the biggest trophies in football for a second year in a row who has someone accused of rape as one of their key players. But it’s absolutely disheartening to see sports institutions bow down to these men again and again and give them more power and ultimately make all of these spaces less safe for women. And it’s especially disgusting if you consider that for a sport that prides itself on equality it systematically ignores the abuse of women. Not just on the women’s tour with coaches and team members, but also with abusers on the men’s tour. None of that is normal and should be accepted but both the tours and the media just seem to act like there’s nothing wrong and in fact completely fine. Then I remember that the media’s main focus for women still seems to be on getting women interested in sports through ‘fashion and gossip’, as if we’re incapable of getting interested in the sports itself, and it’s like yeah, of course you’re not taking any of this seriously. Because their golden boys will always be more important than anything else and god forbid any of these men actually have to take responsibility for their actions because that could ‘waste away their talent’. Meanwhile when a female generational talent gets wasted away because of abuse from their team members none of them really talk about it and everyone is just supposed to look away and pretend to not see what is going on. If you do show empathy and concern you get told you’re ‘parasocial and speculating’ because god forbid public institutions actually try to help the women stuck in toxic environments. No, we’re more busy with giving power to abusers and treating women like an afterthought because why change a broken system when it has worked for so long.

[vannenkoek]

i think it's funny that i have dinner with my ex's moms every few weeks

[vannenkoek]

...

fighting. OCD not bad today but the fight-flight feeling quite strong

[vannenkoek]

...

pretty bad today. big anxiety, OCD flareup

[vannenkoek]

also i absolutely didn't realize there were two cerúndolo brothers and jannik lost to the relatively weaker one! heard sinner had lost and had told myself, like, OK, if sinner was going to lose early it was going to be heat and exhaustion and an argentinian clay guy. that's still true but a bit more surprising

excited about kouamé, might talk about him at camp

[vannenkoek]

it does touch me when andy roddick gets pissed off about sexism

[vannenkoek]

...

fighting

[molabuddy]

i couldn’t think of a better way to communicate this so its this . my struggle

[bronkenj]

[daxite]

the ride never ends

[frozenspeartuna]

[cerastes]

People don’t even say w00t anymore.

[cerastes]

This sux00rz…

[mollyjames]

I think a lot of transmisogyny stems from this idea that people are really scared to see a dick. The reason bathrooms and locker rooms and hot springs keep being flash points is because these are all places where if a trans woman is using them, it's possible you might see her dick. A lot of transmisogynistic humor revolves around being traumatized because the subject saw a woman with a penis. And look, to a certain extent I sympathize. I'm not a fan of dick; I dont want this thing either. But if you want to be an ally to trans women, I think a big important step you can take personally is to examine your own reaction to the scenarios I described above, and recognize that a dick is just a body part a girl has sometimes. Seeing it as inherently sexual and/or traumatizing is a major wedge conservatives use to justify their rhetoric

[violentviolette]

if ur politics are centered in any way on rooting out the "bad" people in the world and then being able to live in a utopia then congratulations, uve ended up at fascism and I am not in any way exaggerating

the only way to truly and genuinely prevent harm is by first acknowledging that all human beings are capable of causing harm to others if given the right circumstances, including u

u genuinely must first understand and accept that if given the right circumstances u personally would harm others and that the only way to prevent that is to be constantly checking ur own behavior and making sure there are safeguards in place to protect people against harm. none of us are immune to propaganda, neither are we immune to causing harm

otherwise, if u believe that any innate part of u (being a woman, gay, a person of color, ect.) means that u couldn't possibly be capable of harm, then it is only a matter of time and circumstance before u hurt another person, if u aren't already

[forcefemsuggested]

[vannenkoek]

...

fighting