suk a dog dik @varnpyweekz - Tumblr Blog

when you’re a kid and you’re feeling weird and detached and you fall asleep in the late afternoon with school clothes still on and you wake up and its dark and dinner is almost done and time feels like a thick jelly

excdus

at least life wants to fuck me

demilypyro

good thing this here internet box exists. back in the 12th century or whatever i would have had to shout my bullshit from the window

demilypyro

me hanging out my window in the dead of night, 1127 AD: I HAVE TWELVE TOES AND SEVEN EYES

a guardsman, already aiming for my nuts with his crossbow: SHUT YON FUCKETH MOUTH

curseworm

catholic school speedrun

curseworm

during the first liturgy if you slap the communion wine out of the priests hands and collapse at his feet hollering in tongues you can clip right through the floor and go straight to hell

valtsv

tangobullets

fasterfood

“ur fly is down” i say to my friend. he looks at his zipper, but i was actually referring to his pet fly. it seemed pretty upset

susiephone

favorite story: apparently, while filming “black swan,” the director would try to pit mila kunis and natalie portman against each other, telling them that the other woman was doing a better job, in hopes of making their characters’ rivalry seem more authentic. but it completely backfired, since instead of getting angry or competitive, natalie and mila would just congratulate each other on doing such good work.