A briefcase filled with two dollar bills

he?/him? (how am I supposed to know)

[silverbridge-harbor]

Velociraptors are scary but really they aren't that scary because they can't change speed. They always move at exactly the same rate, so they're predictable and you can avoid them. The real one to look out for is the acceleraptor

[xanaxfarts]

A tiny insect clinging to the head of a horned viper

[nattousan]

#ratatouille

[segamascott]

[lukewarmtomatosoup]

gar field? that’s not where they’re supposed to be

[occudo]

They wear suits, but they don't even know basic etiquette.

Based on @cowardsexual 's post of a very sleepy phm science team and Grace's teacher instincts

[yellow-cat]

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

[veslingr]

This is why vampires hunt at night btw

They're actually fine in the sun, but they don't want the blood they drink to see the sunlight because it tries to run away when it gets too scared

[squishysphealgirls]

"you understand" is a common phrase exchanged between perverts

[veslingr]

And "this guy gets it" is how we recruit others into our ranks

[asmrgaret]

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

[asmrgaret]

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

[galacticsabc]

really stupid and dogshit idea that made me laugh

[redstonedust]

this sucks im going to kill (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) the president of the United States. (end statement)

[alphabetizing-posts]

are bad (end for going health) im jokes kill mental my of president (remembers statement) States. sucks suicide the the this to United

[eebie]

The apple they fed to snow white wasnt poision at all it was just a red delicious

[ruinedchildhood]

[greenlabcoat]

transition timeline but about halfway through im inexplicably a cackling green witch for a few months before continuing as normal

[sorta-spaced-out]

June 15 is the anniversary of both the Night Vale and Gravity Falls pilots, as well as Vanessa Doofenshmirtz’s birthday and “give it up for day 15” day

[sorta-spaced-out]

[wonderlustbastard]

happy birthday to the only things ever

[nb-nightwing-deactivated2022111]

And love händel reunion day and Linda and Lawrence’s anniversary

[bees-buzzy-blog]

Hey.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

The most day ever

[phineas-and-ferb-heritage-posts]

phineas and ferb heritage post

[satan-offical]

*trains your gender*

[satan-offical]

fuck wait I meant trans oh man

[veslingr]

Too late, my gender is already doing all kinds of tricks

[satan-offical]

[gatheringofreblogs]

[pansyfemme]

mini potatoes in garlic butter at 1am #winning