@biffan
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@vile-leviathan
@biffan
pretty sexy of me to keep going despite each day being more unbearable than the last
Adderall should be added to water like fluoride is
old time mob boss
Meow, see
4 7 3 4
hey man sorry im late. yeah i gave a mouse a cookie. you know how it is
Hard truth that I’ve had to confront that I’m honestly not proud of:
Constantly voicing your abandonment issues lead to more people abandoning you.
I do not mean in Serious Conversations about what you need in a relationship or anything like that - I mean when your friend plays a video game with a different friend for a few days and you feel like your world is crumbling, that is not the time to talk about them.
I understand the fear that someone will decide they are done with you. I live that fear every single day, but here’s the rub.
If you tell people “you’ll probably leave me anyway” or similar things every time you feel that fear, people will leave you.
Not because they don’t want to be your friend, your partner, your roommate, whatever. Not because you aren’t deserving of friends (you are), but because it is exhausting to be constantly told by someone you like/love to go away.
Because that is how it feels on the other end. I don’t say this to make it worse, or to make you feel like you’re at fault. Your brain is hurting you, and it’s okay to feel things. But if you find that it’s hard to keep people around you, then you need to hear that outside of things like conversations about boundaries and triggers and such, it would be to your benefit to change your language.
Instead of telling people “you probably don’t like me”, try asking. “You like me? It’s much easier for them to reassure you when you don’t start with a negative, because it puts your brain in a different mindset, one that finds it easier to believe their response.
Sit with your issues. Parent them. And when they’re done screaming, hold their little hands and dry their little faces and try to remember that you are worth being loved. I won’t say it’s easy, because it’s really fucking not. I won’t say you’ll get it the first time, or that you’ll never fuck up. I still do. But you deserve friends and partners and love, it’s just that so do they.
Another thing about this is that you are waving a red flag.
Because here's the thing.
When your friend plays a video game with a different friend for a few days, and you talk about how that hurt you? You've just created a situation where you've placed the onus of your emotions on your friend, who did nothing wrong. Now your friend has to worry about what other perfectly reasonable activities are going to get them accused of hurting you, which is what you were doing whether you meant to or not.
And here's the other thing.
When you tell someone "everyone always leaves me", they wonder why. And it's very possible that they've dealt with someone who complained about this, then proceeded to demonstrate why. There is a particular kind of social parasite that will completely use up their friend group, then move on to new friends while shit-talking how they were treated by the last friend group.
Sick sick sick of possibility of being fucking recorded every waking second by tiktok obsessed quasi celebs. Video titled something like "Caught him thinking he's the main character" but it was just a kid wearing headphones, looking out the bus window. Of course it was posted without his knowledge. Stop recording strangers and everything you see, nobody gives a shit and not everyone is happy to be on tiktok or youtube because of a moron with no braincells and an account. What could be a forgettable awkward moment is now permanently there for the victim of lackabrainis infested idiot to get anxious about forever.
Okay, this seems like a relevant thing to share today: I've been in this position. Back in college while on that student lifestyle, I somehow ended up with a pretty bad iron deficiency. How bad? I was not only sleeping too much, I was falling asleep everywhere -- in class, in the library, in cafes five minutes after drinking coffee. It was terrible. Anyway, during a class I enjoyed, I was sat at a table with a few classmates, and I started falling asleep while taking notes; nodding off, dropping my pen, startling awake and falling asleep again, until my head was on the table. No one seemed to mind, we were all going through it I guess, and my lecturer was nice enough not to make a big deal out of it.
Cut to the next day and I was in the Students Union, when a friend came up to me and told me how funny that video was of me falling asleep in class was. What? I asked her about it, what did she mean, who made the video, and she realised I literally had no clue about it. Kindly, she told me who to talk to and I thanked her. I was already upset, but I knew it wasn't the messenger's fault. So, I took to Facebook and messaged the girl who made the video -- a girl on my table in the class from before. I asked her about it, and she admitted it right away -- she took the video on her phone during class and posted it to her snapchat. That's how the other girl saw it, not to mention countless others.
Sorting this out was an absolute toil. I felt betrayed and violated that someone would do that while I was obviously not in a position to have any say about it. I lost friendships with the people who took the girl's side, as if it was no big deal or "funny". I had to tell the lecturer about it, because let's face it, that's a shit thing to allow to happen during class itself, the department moved to be more alert and proactive about restricting phone use in class, and all that girl had to do was give a half-hearted apology. The next semester, she was still openly using her phone in another class we had.
For a long time, I couldn't trust anyone who held their phone up around me, as if to take photos or video. It would make me so anxious and put me on edge. I never did speak to the people who cosigned her behaviour, who acted like it wasn't their problem that their bff video-recorded a person in class over their health condition without their consent.
I did eventually grow out of my anxiety around phones, and I resisted the urge to break that girl's phone, but, I will absolutely bring back that energy if I see someone record a stranger in public without their consent. Take it from someone who's been that target -- if you think it's okay, you deserve to get your shit wrecked.
I just want to add, in case anyone reads this and isn't sure -- yes, it is absolutely fine to reblog this, and in fact I encourage you to. If testimony from a former target of this behaviour is the one thing that makes it click for anyone thinking of doing it, if it makes them reconsider before potentially ruining a stranger's life, then my experience will be worth it for me.
Don't record strangers and put that shit on the Internet or social media without their consent.
babygirl you won't believe the amount of popular things i don't know
It’s not quite a transcript, but here’s the main points:
BetterHelp is selling your mental health information to pinterest, snapchat and facebook.
BetterHelp is paying its therapists very little - including getting paid per word WITH A CAP. At some point they stop paying for another word. Which puts a therapist in a bind: should they keep doing their work for free or should they withdraw support from someone that needs it?
BetterHelp is creating the expectation that help is available at all time. Which sounds great, but one of the points of therapy is to create self-reliance. Also: therapists need boundaries too!
BetterHelp is funded by billionaires and millionaires who care primarily about turning a profit for their investors. Not about the therapists. Or the patients/clients.
So: do not use Better Help, but look for another source.
I’ll give it a week
this is superior humor
I have some to add:
Bring me back down
life really is just like. you meet people you love them and then you lose them and you never see them again. and it’s inevitable and it happens to everyone and there’s nothing you can do about it
richard siken quote. you know the one