Your Friendly Neighborhood Vintage Doctor

Cricket / any pronouns / gay

[koobiie]

i feel strongly about this

[ailurinae]

[gaynfl-moved]

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

[your-sleep-paraylis-demon]

OK OK. UH UHHHH..... KILL?

[gaynfl-moved]

[harvestspriteirl]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[captainjonnitkessler]

Babysitting a toddler is a lot like being the narration in a point-and-click adventure game. Watching him knock on the doors of empty rooms and saying "hmm. I don't think anyone's in there". Watching him attempt to use [spoon] on [cat] and saying "I don't think those things go together". Watching him throw a cup of water onto the floor and just commenting "the floor is wet now" when he looks up at me to see if I approve.

[theconcealedweapon]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the phrase "this machine kills fascists" has gone through enough layers of meaning that I think it's come all the way back around to where the funniest thing you could put it on would be a gun

[should-be-sleeping]

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

[should-be-sleeping]

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

[justprettygay]

[should-be-sleeping]

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

[should-be-sleeping]

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

[should-be-sleeping]

I see it’s *looks at smudged writing on hand* Lent again.

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[dragon-in-a-fez]

accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem

[hotvampireadjacent]

[draconym]

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

[draconym]

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

[starryaike]

actually a big fan of this methinks

[saltoncity]

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

[saintishluke]

[gengario]

staying up really late is comforting. the world stops expecting things from you. it’s just quiet for a while.

[vintagedoctor]

I think...

This is why I stay up so late...

Like everything just stops and I can finally breathe

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

huge fans of religions who preach poverty and modest living whilst hoarding uncountable amounts of untaxed wealth, property, and international treasures, gotta be one of the top 5 scams ever invented

[clockwork-windmills]

hey gaud what do you mean about hobby lobby

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*rubbing my hands together with sinister relish* this is what we call a Teaching Moment

[doomdoomofdoom]

Always fun to watch people find out about Hobby Lobby smuggling thousands of looted historical artefacts from the Middle East (x) and 'United States of America v. Approximately Four Hundred Fifty Ancient Cuneiform Tablets and Approximately Three Thousand Ancient Clay Bullae' (x)

[lolotehe]

I saw it posted as "Hobby Lobby's Hammurabi robby jobby" once.

[prokopetz]

A fun thing about fiction with large casts of characters is that sometimes you'll have a Spicy Bananas moment where every single character has an identical yet wildly atypical experience of some very mundane thing, and slowly you realise that the author isn't Making A Point, they just think that's normal.

[notsomeoneyouknow]

[fruutbaag]

[homunculus-argument]

The entire range of human skin tones varies from so pale white that it's almost kind of blue, to so deep black that it's almost kind of blue, and I think that's beautiful. Do you love the colour of the guy.

[thekidsfromyestergay]

This was on a post about how it's ignorant and privileged to wear headphones in public and I fear its already become a part of my vocabulary. Must everything harbor a moral failure.