Fandoms? I Guess

Literally just Batman stuff for now Sanders sides & non-fandom stuff at viva-la-pluto-dam-you

[viva-la-pluto-damn-you]

The Seven

Percy picks a fight with the wrong mortal, he was just trying to keep him away from the monsters, but the man didn’t know that, and what use is a sword against a gun? His last thought is of Annabeth, it was up to her now to take care of his mom and their children.

Annabeth dies in a construction accident, she planned the architecture perfectly, it would never collapse, but she can’t plan for a crane to drop its cargo. Her last thought was how she would finally be with Percy again

Jason dies underground, always the hero, he went to help when an underground tunnel collapses, but he cant fly away when there are rocks falling from above. His last thought was of piper, how she had to go on without him now.

Piper dies in a car crash, after all, she can’t charmspeak a car, not when it’s driver is asleep, and she doesn’t even see it coming. Her last thought is of her family, now they had to live without a father or mother.

Hazel and frank were the only ones to die together, in a plane crash, on their way to visit franks old house, to visit the grave of his mother. Their last thoughts were of each other, knowing they will be together in elysium.

Leo was the last to die. He lived many years past the deaths of his friends. He lived to be old, and to own his own mechanic shop. It is fitting he died there as well. He died alone. Calypso, still young, had retreated back to her island after their daughter was killed by a monster. Leo’s last thought were of his friends, both living and dead, saying his private goodbyes, and ready to finally be reunited with his daughter.

[viva-la-pluto-damn-you]

@rhaedarofworlds THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REBLOGGING THIS I SOMEHOW MANAGED TO LOSE MY OWN GODDAMN POST AND HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND IT FOR LIKE 3 YEARS

[hawt-me33]

Coming into a fandom late

[baxterdamus-deactivated20130513]

Coming into a fandom early and watching it become an angry clusterfuck

[valorious]

Being in a dormant fandom that suddenly comes alive again after a new book/movie

[leatherpatches-deactivated20150]

Don’t forget about those who come in the midst of a fandom war. 

[fauxmoux]

Accuracy at its best

[street-of-mercy]

Being in a fandom and not even knowing there’s a war going on…

[my-reylo]

all of this shit…lol

[nerdsagainstfandomracism]

When You’re Not In The Fandom But You’re Nosy AF

[not-so-secret-nerd]

When you get into a fandom only to discover it’s dead

[jupiter235]

This gets better every time I see it. 

[sageblackrose95]

@fuboos-mess

[inverted-mind-inc-sideblog-deac]

Being in a dead fandom…

[illogicalarchive]

Or being in such a tiny fandom that it feels like youre the only one

[erilias]

The accuracy hurts.

[fanfic-yes-please]

Being in a fandom that had a shit ending.

[it-is-bugs]

When you’ve been fangirling long enough, you’ve experienced all of the above.

[sweetferalbaby]

Being in a fandom meant for kids.

[teaganvamp]

This just gets better..

[hamboj2]

@mi-kleos

[thatcrazysonicchick]

When you realize that joining the fandom has ruined you

[knightofbloodcancer]

Fandom hell in general

[morathavictoria]

Yes.

[marvelanimelover]

This^^^ just… ALL OF THIS.

[stop-talking-babe-deactivated20]

Being in so many fandoms that you don’t even know what’s going on

[raise-cain-archived]

THIS IS THE SKULDUGGERY FUCKING PLEASANT FANDOM IN ONE POST!!

[crochanblackbeak]

Trying to recruit people to your fandom

[kateriverameliawolfe]

Annnnnnndddd it’s back

[ishipwhatiship247]

Being in a fandom which has so many antis

[ravenhilarious]

I’ve probably reblogged this before, but that was before these great additions.

[swanqueen-author]

Being in a fandom that actually works together

[commanderunhingedmongoose]

Why is this so true? All of it.

[pillowprincesslexa]

being in a fanbase but all your mutuals suddenly turn into Kpop blogs

[hangingfire]

I always enjoy it when a good post comes around again and has been improved by the reblogs like the years for a fine wine.

[priory-of-stars]

Being in a fandom when shit goes down and everyone has different opinions

[marianagmt]

When you are in a fandom and don’t care for others people opinion…..even if they are right…(believe me, I have met several of those)

[batbyte-alghul]

Being in a fandom you never meant to join

[tirnel-sutcliff-spears]

I love this. and it’s gotten better

[cartoonjessie]

After abandoning a fandom you’re still a little bit emotionally invested in….

[brit-is-bookish]

All of these are me. Lol

[thehikingastronomer]

Being in a fandom on Tumblr

[julietsemophase]

And it reached its epic conclusion

[isa-ghost]

I CHOKED ON FUNDIP

[van-arts]

HISTORY HAS BEEN ENGRAVED INTO THIS POST

[papayafromtv]

ten year old Tim Drake having a minor phase of liking archeology bcs of his parents so he starts digging shit up in his garden, but because he’s Tim Fucking Drake he does it too well and accidentally unearths one of the tunnels that connects to the fucking batcave.

ten year old Tim Drake who already knew who Batman and Robin were, finding out he now has a secret tunnel in his garden connecting his house to their lair, and he’s just like ‘fuck yeah that’s cool.’ and starts exploring.

thirteen year old Jason Todd bored and fucking around alone in the batcave system when he comes across a fucking ten year old who knows his identity, clearly idolises the hell out of him, and is just kinda wandering around the cave system alone and completely chill about it. they see a super dangerous spider and Tim just starts info-dumping on the species. when asked if he has a curfew to go back home by he goes ‘uh, July i guess? that’s when mom and dad get back.’ it is early February.

thirteen year old Jason Todd who takes a minute and then goes ‘ok this is funny as fuck i promise i won’t snitch to Bruce.’

Jason Todd and Tim Drake being secret cave buddies. Jason Todd and Tim Drake hanging out in the tunnels and making fun of Batman and Nightwing from the shadows. Tim Drake who has to buy a whole new set of night-vision camera lenses for his new photo album that’s just photos and selfies of him and his new best friend Robin fucking around in the underground pitch-dark.

Jason Todd who dies, gets revived, is told by Talia that Tim Drake has ‘replaced him’ unknowing they’re already friends, and Jason who all he can think of is that time they played hide and seek in the cave system and Tim clung to the fucking ceiling via a stalactite for 45 minutes straight. Jason Todd who just looks at Talia and goes ‘yeah sounds about right for him.’

Jason Todd being told he has to deliver Damian to Bruce and he decides ‘absolutely the fuck not’ to the idea of even touching the front door. they have a Ring camera he is not getting caught on that bullshit.

Jason Todd who just goes to Drake Manor and uses Tim’s old entrance to get into the tunnels, his home away from home, dragging Damian along, until he gets to a spot where he can secretly signal into the batcave for Tim to sneak the fuck away.

fifteen year old Tim Drake who gets called into the tunnels to find the Red Hood, unmasked as Jason, presenting to him a random child which he declares to be the son of Batman.

fifteen year old Tim Drake who comes full circle and says ‘ok this is funny as fuck i promise i won’t snitch to Bruce.’

the cave boys are reunited. a third is added to the club. a new photo album is filled. when Tim brings Damian up through the tunnels into the cave he looks Bruce dead in the eyes and says fully straight-faced ‘this is your cave son. i found him wandering, he was born from the shadows of the bat.’

eleven year old Damian Al Ghul-Wayne who’s spent the past three and a half years under Jason Todd’s influence and sombrely declares ‘the cave birthed me for you, father. i am darkness. i am your child.’

Bruce Wayne who genuinely is starting to lose it.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Health classes really ought to teach people what the beginning stages of addiction are like because a lot of people don’t realize they’re addicted to something until they’re years deep into it.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Signs you might be getting addicted to something:

If you go without it you feel unwell in a way that you never usually feel unwell. Sweating, tired, sleepy, headaches, irritable, depressed, etc. For example when I was in opium withdrawal I got incredibly depressed in a way that I’ve never been before or since. When you quit caffeine you might get super bad headaches even if you never usually get any headaches.

Thoughts of it regularly bother you and the thoughts go away once you’ve taken it but only temporarily. Unlike with a food craving which usually stays away once you’ve satisfied it or distracted yourself from it.

You find yourself rationalizing with yourself why you should break your own rules about how much you can take and how often. For example you might only let yourself drink alcohol every four days but start thinking that three days is actually close enough to four days, right? Especially if this happens regularly.

You’re using it so often that you feel the need to lie about how much you use because other people might think it’s concerning

If the substance or activity is nearby it’s genuinely difficult to not consume it or participate in it in a way that’s really frustrating.

You feel bad when you’re not on it and your brain tells you “if you just take the thing you wouldn’t feel this way”

You can only feel “whole” or “normal” when you’re on a substance even though it’s a recreational drug

And if you read this and think you might be addicted to something, don’t panic and don’t feel ashamed. Realizing you’re addicted to something isn’t a failure. It’s more information about your health that you can use to manage your condition, whether you want to get rid of your addiction or not.

[fedorahead]

a good thing to note is that when you start to suspect addiction, if you're looking at the signs early, there is a possibility for you to regain control!

if you see any of the signs listed above, you are likely still in the window of "i should reign this in", and it is very likely that if you decide to do so in this moment, you will succeed.

most people in active addiction don't figure it out until they are deep enough into it that the psychological aspect becomes too powerful, especially because they don't know how to recognize these signs. if education were more well-rounded, a lot less people would end up stuck in addiction because you genuinely can take control if you realize you've gone too far early enough.

my basic tenet is, if i start showing signs of addiction, i quit for six months. no matter what it is. six months is enough time to get through the detox, it's enough time to start putting my head into the right space and look at the situation less objectively, and it's enough time to build a new ruleset if i decide to go back to using. this has worked for me multiple times, with several different substances.

however, if you find yourself in a cycle of doing this regularly, you're likely past the point of being able to regain control. nicotine has its grip in me because i let myself slip and stopped stopping when i saw it get unhealthy.

if you are struggling with an active addiction, and you can't muster the control to quit for 6 months, or on that 6 month day you go right back to it, and you don't want that life, you need to seek help. it has to be your choice, but you need to understand that if you do not want an active addiction, you have to take action and that does mean getting help from someone, whatever path works for you. there will come a point where you realize you can't do it alone, and that's the time to seek help. and there is nothing wrong with that. you're only human, and we can only handle so much on our own. you got this.

[redsray]

Bruce being a dad in the “basically adopts his childrens’ significant others” way.

Like, whether intentionally or not, he’ll find himself looking out for those kids that aren’t his, not quite, but they’re close enough.

Bruce, going up to Wally after a JL mission: Are you alright? No injuries?

Wally, unharmed and confused: Um. Yeah?

Bruce, nodding: Good.

Wally, had been expecting a stern ‘report’: Yep.

Bruce: Debrief first, then we’re going home.

Wally: ‘Home’???

Wally: I mean um. Sure.

Bruce, picking up Jason’s ringing phone while his son is in the kitchen: Hello?

Roy: Hey—! You’re not Jaybird.

Bruce: No.

Roy: Bruce. Why do you have Jay’s phone?

Bruce: Jason is in the kitchen. I can bring the phone to him, but I doubt he’ll appreciate being distracted.

Roy, sighing: Yeah, he can be a real snob with cookin’.

Bruce, humming: Anything I can help you with, Roy?

Roy: Uh. Tell ya what, yeah, actually. I need some files from Jay about a drug ring he was following up on, they might be infiltrating underground gangs here in Star.

Bruce: I can help. If you’re organising a bust, is Lian being taken care of?

Roy: Yeah, I already asked Kori to mind her.

Bruce, satisfied: Perfect. She’s welcome to bring her to the Manor.

Roy, slightly suspicious of the goodwill but won’t complain: I’ll pass it on.

Bruce: Clark.

Clark: B! Nice to see you. How’s your day been?

Bruce: Good enough. How’s Conner?

Clark, frowning: Fine, last I checked. He hasn’t been at the farm in a while, but I saw him a few days ago.

Bruce: Hn. You might want to check in on him.

Clark: Is he alright?

Bruce: Physically, yes. He seems to be stressing an abnormal amount, though. Returning to parents’ farm might be beneficial for him.

Clark: He’s not the type to stress for too long.

Bruce: No.

Clark: I’ll check on him, I’m sure Ma and Pa miss him. Thanks, B.

Bruce: Just go.

Bruce checks his phone a few hours later to see a text message from Tim reading ‘i know you did something. thx, b’.

Bruce: You’re welcome to stay the night, Jon. It’s late.

Jon: Huh? Oh, no, it’s fine Mr. Wayne. I can just fly back. My parents will be expecting me.

Bruce: No need, I have already informed Clark that you’re staying.

Jon: ???

Bruce: Dinner will be ready in 10.

Jon: ?????

Bruce: Damian is waiting in the dining room. Have a nice evening.

Jon: Thank you…???

[viva-la-pluto-damn-you]

I JUST SAW FNAF2 I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS BUT MAINLY

(spoilers)

CIRCUS BABY?!?!?????!??

[view-from-up-here]

[fawnar]

queue this post when it’s your birthday and be surprise

[kaciart]

Whumptober Day 3 - Freefall

For Geo

-

Patreon | Ko-Fi

[aaloosshitposting]

"If I were orpheus I wouldn't look back"

But we look back everyday- rechecking emails, making sure a friend is still behind you, checking to see if you remebered to pick up your keys. It's second nature, a habit of care.

It was second nature for him too. He looked back, not out of weakness, but love. For what is love, if not to look back?

[anotherbookinthelibrary]

An Orpheus who didn't turn around is an Orpheus who never walked down in the first place

[brucedefender4eva]

Stephanie, on the verge of tears, reluctantly signing up for her McGraw-Hill: Fuck… I can’t believe I have to pay over $100 to do my homework

Bruce, setting down a cup of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and pressing a kiss to her forehead: I have to pay over $100 for you to do homework, gumdrop

——

Dick: *Blah blah something something mad at Bruce*

Bruce: Okay, birdie, stop holding my hand then

Dick, practically glued to Bruce’s side and would've his Dad carry him if he didn’t know Bruce was hiding a sprained ankle: …

Dick: Shut the fuck up, you sack of shit. Listen here motherfucker-

——

Bruce, going over a new case with Tim: She’s not in the picture? Did the mother run away, or is she dead?

Tim, half paying attention: I think she died or ran away.

Bruce: Thank you, baby, that was so unhelpful

——

Selina, at a fancy diner with Bruce: …?

Bruce: *sigh* When I told him we had a date, he insisted on coming along so he could see your cats afterwards

Selina, grinning: That’s adorable.

Damian, happily eating food off the kids' menu: Baba, can I taste your food too?

Bruce: Of course, Habibi

——

Jason, being dramatic: You don’t even love me!

Bruce: Because I won’t let you eat chickpeas? That’s why I don’t love you?

Jason: Yes!

Bruce: Darling, you’re allergic to chickpeas

Jason, even more dramatic: It’s only a mild allergy! Let me live!

Bruce, exasperated: Believe me, I’m trying

——

Bruce: What’s this?

Lois, holding up a large box full of things: Presents for you and your brood

Bruce, looking at the handwritten tag: “For assorted Wayne’s”? You don’t know how many kids I have?

Lois: Do you know how many kids you have?

Bruce: … thank you for the gifts

——

Duke, snuggled up with Bruce and watching TV: This is bad… like, really bad

Bruce: We don’t have to continue watching it, sunshine

Duke: No, this is my allotted Bruce time, and we’re gonna watch trash TV

——

Bruce, watching Cass put a tutu on his service dog: …

Cass: Ace likes it. Give us a twirl, Ace

Ace, somehow, looking like he’s dissociating: Ruff… *slowly turns once*

Bruce: …

Cass: Alfred the cat scratched me, and Damian is hiding Titus away… it was either him or the turkey

Bruce: You don’t have one big enough for Batcow, Princess?

Cass: Not yet

——

Alfred: You wouldn’t happen to know where my sandwich went, would you, Master Bruce?

Bruce, in the middle of taking a bite from said sandwich: No…

Alfred: Hmm

——

Texting

Bruce: Come over

Selina: Can’t. Stealing things

Selina: And I’m on the opposite side of the city

Bruce: *sends a sexy picture of himself in lingerie*

Selina: IM ON MY FUCKING WAY. DONT MOVE

Five seconds later

Selina: OPEN YOUR WINDOW!!

——

Tim: It’s quiet. What’s going on?

Bruce, sipping coffee: Lois took the girls on a girls' shopping spree. Dick went with them to ‘keep an eye on them,’ but we both know he just wants to shop as well

Tim: Wtf? I wanna go… I’m going to my room to sulk

Bruce: I’m sure you could find their location and join them, sweetheart

Tim: No, it’s the principle of the matter

——

Bruce, scruffing Damian: Stop it

Damian, struggling but making no progress: He needs help! I’m the one to help him!

Bruce: That is a raccoon eating from the trash, honey

Damian: I need him!

Bruce: I think it’s foaming at the mouth. I’m calling animal control

Damian, making grabby hands: Come to me my child!

Bruce: Stop that!

——

Jason, raiding Bruce’s closet: Can I have this? *holds up a leather jacket*

Bruce: No, I just bought that. You already have most of my hoodies

Duke: Ooo, can I have this? *holds up the same leather jacket*

Bruce: What did I just say to your brother? You literally have half of my sweater collection

Jason: The lining is so warm and soft

Duke: And it smells really good!

Bruce: Give me my jacket you little theives

——

Texting

Bruce: I’ve got a mission off world so you won’t be able to contact me for a while

Dick: What???

Dick: I wanted to hang with you

Bruce: You told me you weren’t coming over to the Manor this week?

Dick: Yeah but now that I know you’re not gonna be here I wanna hang

Bruce: We can hang out when I come back, love

Dick: Nah, I won’t want to anymore

——

Bruce, hovering: Alfie…

Alfred, sighing: Here *pushes tea toward him*

Bruce: Hmm, thank you *takes a few sips before pushing it back*

Alfred: I could just make you your own cup, Sir

Bruce: It doesn’t taste as good if it isn’t yours specifically

Alfred: You’re just like your children

Bruce, genuine: I have no idea what you mean

——

Stephanie: How many laxatives can you give someone before it’s too much?

Bruce: Depends on how much you hate them

Stephanie: That’s… very helpful. I’ll keep it in mind

Stephanie: So… 40?

Bruce: Please don’t kill anyone by making them shit out their guts. I don’t know how we’d twist that for the media

——

Lois: I hate living on a reporter’s salary

Bruce, desperate: Please let me give you money

Lois: You know the answer to that

Bruce, sad: Yeah… *already making plans for everyone in the company to get a raise*

——

Duke: Ughh… my tummy… it hurts

Dick: Sounds like food poisoning

Bruce: Could be the skittles you ate off the ground

Duke: Couldn’t be, skittles would never betray me like that

Dick: Couldn’t be?

Bruce: You dropped them in the driveway. I’m pretty sure I saw you eat some gravel

Duke: Erghhh… my tum tum…

——

After a gala

Jason: So you decided to jump in the fountain and swim around to get out of the conversation?

Bruce, soaking wet: You can’t shame me, every thing I do is while I’m sober. You wish you had this confidence

Jason, know Bruce is the concept of anxiety forced into human form: Alright pa…

——

Bruce: I saw you and Damian cuddling

Tim, frozen: … what…

Bruce: I saw it all and I took pictures, the two of you are adorable

Tim: … no

Bruce: Yes

Tim: You can’t tell anyone! We’re supposed to be antagonistic!

Bruce: We’ll see

——

Texting

Bruce: Ace keeps alerting me but I feel fine. What should I do?

Dick: Sit down Tati

Jason: Sit the fuck down papa

Tim: Get out of public, sit down, and drink some water

Bruce: I’m starting to feel icky now, my leg gave out, and I think I’m seeing things

Cass: Did you bring your meds?

Steph: This is B we’re talking about

Duke: I’m gonna come find you and sit with you, okay?

Bruce: Okey

Alfred: I’m already starting the car

Damian: I am coming along. Baba, hold on

Steph: Cass and I are getting med bay ready

Dick: Omw

Jason: You better get ready to be coddled pa

——

Bruce: Someone saw my stretch marks and thought they were elf harm scars. I’m so embarrassed

Alfred: Master Bruce, it’s alright

Bruce: I guess. Glad they didn’t see my actual self harm scars lol

Alfred, sternly: Bruce

Bruce: Sorry. No jokes about self harm, I forgot. You’re lucky it wasn’t a joke about my suicide attempts

Alfred, even sterner: Bruce

Bruce: Shutting up

——

Steph: I actually hate how good at makeup you are

Bruce, doing a smokey eye on Cass: I’m good at a lot of things

Lois: But why makeup?

Bruce: I like to look pretty and I have to cover up my self harm scars lol

Alfred, from around the corner: Bruce

Bruce: Ughhh

——

Bruce, head in Selina’s lap with Alfred the cat on his chest: …

Selina, gently scratching his scalp with her nails and watching as his brain turns off: …

Alfred the cat, asleep and giving Bruce healing purrs: …

——

Dick, wearing a new jacket and giving Bruce a fashion show: So?

Bruce: Huh, this one actually looks nice

Dick: Thank you, thank you-

Titus, walking in and b-lining to Dick: Boof! *starts cobbing on his jacket*

Dick: Man, can I help you?! There's drool everywhere!

Bruce: Don’t be mean, he loves you

——

Tim: Daddy-o, we want froyo

Bruce: Okay? Do you want to take one of my cars?

Damian: Timmothy is too lazy to drive, you must take us

Bruce, already grabbing his keys: What am I, just a chauffeur to you?

Damian: Yes Baba

——

Dick: Please tell Selina to stop touching your ass in front of us

Jason: Please

Bruce: I can’t help what my mama gave me

Jason: I’m gonna go drown myself in the pool

——

Texting

Tim: Made a huge mistake

Dick: Everything alright? Do you need help?

Tim: Made Dad do a TikTok

Jason: What??

Steph: Which one

Tim: The one that has the song So Far So Fake by Pierce The Veil

Damian: What does that mean?

Tim: And white whyne. He was too good at both of them

Duke: Tim what the fuck

Tim: For some reason it didn’t occur to me that having him shake his ass on the internet would have repercussions

Steph: Scrub the internet. Now

Bruce: What is a DILF? And why do people want to see me 'bounce it'?

——

Steph: Bought you a pie

Bruce: …

Bruce: You know I have complicated emotions about hot fruit

——

Bruce, surrounded by his kids: … I could’ve sworn I only went to bed with Selina last night

Dick: It’s cold

Damian: It started raining Baba

Tim: I thought this was my room

Steph: I wanted to take blackmail photos

Cass: *shrugs*

Jason: I was forced to be here

Duke: I don’t like being left out

Selina: Alright then

[batmanhistorian]

In the Batman fandom, if you like Batman, they kill you.

[infinitysgrace]

i think the thing about batman's no kill rule is that its essentially bruce saying "guilty people don't deserve to be murdered on the street either, actually." and he's not wrong.

[papayafromtv]

i do love the whole 'batkids all treat dick like he's a slut' but only when it's ironically. i like dick grayson who is a bit of a prude and his siblings mock the fuck out of him for this by making out like he's a complete manwhore. dick is... so tired.

dick: *steals tim's toast* tim: you fucking whore. dick: dick: tim i have slept with three people in my life and i was in long term relationships with all of them. tim: tramp-core. dick: ??? - dick: *walks in a room* are we ready to go? damian: are you really going to go outside wearing that, grayson? you look like a trollop. dick: I'M WEARING A TURTLENECK. damian: and? dick, pointing miserably at jason: HE'S WEARING A CROP TOP! jason: and fucking slaying, your point? - tim, walking into jason's apartment: hey jay, can i ask you someth- *notices dick* oh never mind. i'll ask later. dick: ??? why can't you ask in front of me? jason: is it similar to what you asked me about last week? tim: yeah. jason: ah. gotcha. we can talk later. dick: NO WHAT THE FUCK?! i'm your older brother too tim, whatever you want jason's help with i can help with too! tim: tim, sarcastically: you know what? sure. tim: got any advice for your younger brother who wants to give his new boyfriend his first ever blowjob? dick: jason: *grinning wildly* dick: tim: i'm waiting. dick: jason: it's alright, buddy. i gave damian the talk, i handled all of duke's dating questions, i can take this too. dick: i'm going to leave now. tim: yeah i bet you are. dick: i'm going to pretend this conversation never happened. tim: uh-huh, you know where the door is, slut. dick: dick: hOW THE FUCK AM I-

[elirium]

This guide is only for dick, jason, tim, steph or damian. for everyone else youre on your own.

Now thank you all for your attention, please return next week on your lecture on how to differentiate between helena und cassie.

[millenniallust4death]

I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD

[lianlovesangst]

I love TimBerKon.

Unrequited love with TimBerKon except it's just all of them being idiots. Picture this! Tim and Bernard are in an official relationship, at least that's what Kon finds out after coming back from the dead.

This is a problem. A really bad, no good problem, because Kon has had a massive crush on Tim since, like, forever. And he really thought that they had something going on, ya know? Like, hello? The tension between them was not subtle. But hey, guess not, guess he was just delusional. He's fine with that, totally! If only Tims boyfriend wasn't such an asshole who flaunted his relationship in front of Kon every single time they met. He's 99% sure that Bernard knew about his massive crush on Tim, and thought it was funny to see Kon despair. That damned, beautiful, cute asshole! Kon loves Tim, and loves hates Bernard. This was a fact.

Tim is in a perfectly happy, healthy (not quite, they both were a little too stalkerish to be considered healthy), and amazing relationship with Bernard. His family got individual and group therapy sessions with trusted people, he finally felt like he belonged, and best of all, he's gotten over his life-long crush on Kon! . . . Alright, so MAYBE he didn't. Yet. But it was just a small, leftover crumb of love! He had a lovely boyfriend already, he didn't need one more. He felt absolutely terrible, just how selfish could he be? It didn't help that Bernard kept bringing Kon up whenever they were talking about their future together! Bernard would hate him if he ever knew, and he doesn't think he could take that. Tim loves Kon, and he loves Bernard, but he couldn't have both. This was a fact.

Bernard wanted a threesome. Okay, obviously not just a threesome, but a polyamorous relationship with his two most favorite people in the world! Connor 'Superboy' Kent, with his firm, strong forearms and those thighs that he'd gladly be fine in getting crushed with, and that teasing personality, fuck, he needed that man.

Tim 'Red Robin' Drake-Wayne, with his muscles and abs that would show whenever he flexed just right when he was in his damn spandex costume, and his sexy wit, and his smirk— Yeah, Bernard wanted them both, and he was 100% sure they wanted it too! They were just fucking idiots who, for some reason, thought their love for each other was unrequited.

Seriously, he's tried almost everything! He tried hinting to Kon of just how good of a lover Tim was whenever they met, but that only made him look constipated and in constant anguish. He told Tim about how handsome and attentive Kon was and how good of a boyfriend he would make, but that just made him look close to passing out, his face flushed dangerously bright red.

Bernard is trying EVERYTHING for them to realize their feelings, but they're just SO oblivious! Mark his words, though, he will get both of them. They don't have much of a choice in the matter, he's getting that threesome one way or another! Bernard loves Kon and Tim, he wants them both, and he will have both. This was a fact.

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard on the batkid com lines pt 10

Bruce: Robin, Red Robin. ETA on the meeting spot, Red Hood and i are waiting.

Damian: on our way, father.

Tim: yeah we’re like just round the corner- *scuffling noises* *a grunt*-can you fucking cut it out-!

Damian: you are in my way!

Bruce: *sigh* boys…

Tim: no! no, B, you have to tell him to stop shoving into me, you can’t just- Damian knock it off-

Bruce: NO NAMES IN THE MASK!

Jason, slightly muffled: oh for fucks sake-

Bruce: both of you, get here now. clearly we need to have another discussion about the importance of keeping names private.

Damian: i didn’t even do anything, it was Drake that-

-silence-

Damian, solomly: we shall be there soon, father.

-a few minutes later-

Bruce: -not to mention how irresponsible it is to not be paying attention! i know i taught you both better than that.

Jason: *scoffs*

Damian: you didn’t even teach me, Nightwing did.

Tim: *low ‘ooing’ noise* B you gotta spank him, you gonna let him talk back like that?

Damian: shut up, Red Robin.

Bruce: and do you understand how disappointed Nightwing would be with you tonight, Robin? because he sure as hell wouldn’t exactly be proud.

-silence-

Tim, softly: well shit

Jason, incredulous: ok no hold on, usually i let you parent however you want because frankly it’s not my fucking problem, but i actually grew up with Dick and you and i both know he doesn’t give a shit about the no-name rule,

Bruce, instantly: Red Hood go away.

Jason: -one time i accidentally called Batgirl ‘Barb’ during a mission and B made us stay behind so he could give me a chewing out about it, and like half way through the lecture an uber eats driver pulled up and said ‘order for Dick Grayson?’ and Nightwing fucking- sauntered over and took the food without blinking.

Bruce: that’s irrelevant to-

Jason: there was a night i refused to listen to him as Robin when we were patrolling together so he told me that for every act of disobedience he would give one letter of my name up to the police. i fucked up three times and he told an officer my name started with ‘J-A-Y’ and then when i started laughing at him for not knowing how to spell my name he got embarrassed and yelled in front of the officer ‘WELL I GREW UP IN A CIRCUS, SPELLING WASN’T A HIGH PRIORITY!’

Tim: he didn’t know how to spell Jason?

Jason: another time he-

*ping*

Dick: hey sorry to interrupt patrol- Jason unmute your phone, you aren’t answering your texts.

Bruce, weakly: we are in mask, Nightwing. no names.

Dick, unbothered: shut up B- Jason, seriously, i sent you a video of these pigeons i found fighting mid-air you gotta look at it.

Tim: *snickering*

Dick: why is he laughing. Tim why are you laughing.

Damian: Grayson, would you be disappointed if I accidentally forgot about the no-names-in-masks rule?

Dick: *confused* what? no?

Tim: do you know how to spell our names, Nightwing?

Dick: what are you-

*very muffled bird squawks, flapping of wings*

Jason: oh holy shit this video is kinda cool actually

Dick: RIGHT?!

Tim: woah wait let me see-

Damian: tilt the screen forward Todd, theres a glare.

Dick: you guys gotta come to Bludhaven, the pigeon action is off the charts.

Bruce: *forlorn* my mission used to be a solitary one. i used to work alone.

Damian: at least if you worked alone then nobody would ever have a reason to use your name?

Tim: *cackle*

Jason: i bet you guys i could catch a pigeon. like with my bare hands

Dick: we could do pokemon fights-

Bruce: ok patrol over. everyone go home. this is pointless.