Welcome To Tumblr, Bestie

Tumblr might not make sense to new users. I reblog posts that new users might find useful. Consider this blog your crash course on Tumblr’s functionality + culture.

[welcome2tmblrbestie]

WELCOME TO TUMBLR ✨ ✨

(I can't control who sees this so if you're not a new user just ignore me lol)

See unlike all the haters on this hellsite (no offense meant i love you) i recognize that tumblr.com kinda needs its userbase to increase if it's going to survive long term

anyway for that reason i've been building out this sideblog as a resource to new/returning tumblr users :)

❓ what is this blog???? you may ask

i reblog posts i come across that provide insight into Tumblr's...

history - changes in functionality and trends over time

culture - inside references, esoteric memes, and general believes

meta discourse - dialogue about the state, development, and future of this hellsite (affectionate)

anyway if you're new, consider this your welcome pamphlet.

no i'm not saying you should follow me, just that if you're so inclined, feel free to scroll until you're overwhelmed and decide it's not worth the effort and leave the website altogether wait no that's not the point of this bl--

Also just wanted to plug real quick that if you wanna filter through my reblogs, I use the following tags:

#tumblr functionality - how does tumblr work, how do you accomplish a certain task, what are its features, what are its bugs, etc.

#tumblr history - discussion/referencing events or iconic posts from tumblr's past

#tumblr etiquette - basically all those do's and don't's people keep making lists of for some reason

#tumblr culture - anything related to the nonsense we pull here (like tumblr holidays or the fact that your post gaining thousands of reblogs isn't an accomplishment but actually you being the victim of a coordinated attack)

#tumblr meta - posts about tumblr.com as a website or company, generally. if i reblog a post from staff there's a good chance it goes here.

#inside jokes/memes - i try to avoid posting these because the question of what's iconic enough to qualify is so subjective, but certain memes (eeby deeby, lil wayne's clop clop clop, do you love the color of the sky) certainly deserve to be mentioned because you will see them referenced at some point

[kotamagic]

Dear Reddit and Twitter refugees:

You've probably already been told to change your icon, post and reblog stuff you like, Tumblr has holidays, etc.

But in case you weren't aware before....

When AO3 (Archive of Our Own) goes down for any reason, Tumblr flips the fuck out and panics. AO3 starts trending almost immediately.

Do NOT try to calm your neighbors down! Panicking with them until AO3 goes back up is the correct course of action.

Thank you and have a day.

[prismatic-bell]

Look, I can’t just call J. G. Smutworth, 977-PORN-NOW. It doesn’t work.

OF COURSE I’M PANICKING.

[calypsolemon]

are some of the people newer to tumblr aware of the joys of theme customization on desktop? I know some ppl are just on mobile so they can’t really change things but like SO many blogs nowadays have 0 theme customization and just use the default theme and I’m beginning to wonder if they even know about the option. It’s one of the main reasons why I still use tumblr

[calypsolemon]

this post is not to be mean to people for not knowing btw. i just think its good for people to know bc page customization is one of the things that is slowly disappearing from the internet and i suspect that many ppl don’t even realize its something they can do on here bc they’re so used to their only customization options being like a pfp and maybe a header image. The option to do so here is something I desperately want to preserve since its a fantastic middle ground between the bare bones profile customization of twitter and like. coding an entire webpage from scratch.

[calypsolemon]

like for people who don’t know, this is what my blog looks like if you visit it on desktop, outside of the dashboard popups

desktop users who have no theme this is the life you could be living

[calypsolemon]

ppl in the tags asking how to do this, or who did not even know it was an option, here’s a very quick how to:

1. choose a theme. this is the easy part, search “blog themes” or “html themes” in the tumblr search bar, there are MANY blogs out there dedicated to curating lists of free tumblr themes. Find one you like and save the code in a seperate tab. I would probably check to make sure the theme was not created too long ago, as tumblr website changes over the years have broken some older codes/themes. I would also try to find a theme with lots of customization options, as this makes it easier to make your blog totally unique looking, even if you are unfamiliar with html.

2. either go to your blog’s actual page [YOUR-URL.tumblr.com] and click on the little paint palette icon that shows up in the top right corner, OR you go to your blog’s appearance settings, there should be a button that says “edit themes”

3. once you open the blog theme editor, there should be an option to edit html in the top left corner. Select and delete ALL of the present code. Then, paste in the code of your preferred tumblr theme and hit save. You may have to exit and reenter the customization page for the full effects to take place.

4. From this point on, customize to your heart’s content! Just make sure if you are using a theme made by someone else, that you don’t accidentally remove their credits. This can’t really happen unless you are editing the html directly though, so you likely don’t have to worry.

Keep in mind, messing around with tumblr themes still takes time, even if you’re not doing it all from scratch. Think of it like decorating an empty room. It will take time and effort, and it’s not at all necessary, but it’s worth it to make your space feel more like yours.

[zombvibes]

I always wanted to customize my page but like…any time i see “html” and it has to deal with customizing a page I cry and run away like a scared puppy. So FOR NOW, I’m going to be boring to avoid the utter anguish and despair I’d feel—

[calypsolemon]

i promise you, if you find a theme with customization built in, the only time you will be touching the html is to copypaste it into the theme editor

tumblr has this great function that allows theme creators - the people doing all the html work for you - to put options like colors, changing the size of images and posts on your blog, the text font, etc, into user-friendly buttons and selection screens. Most html themes nowadays have at least a few of these built in! Mine looks like this

you see? no html knowledge required, very simple to use, and still beautiful and unique!

also, if you are still worried, tumblr has the option to revert everything back to the default state, or even restore previous themes. Your blog won’t be bunked up forever if you mess up some html editing if you DO decide to explore. Go ham!

[y5d8z6vz7a-deactivated20180404]

i swear to god if one more stupid fandom ruins a beautiful text post i am calling the police

[brodiebutt]

[katherinearandez]

[wsswatson]

[katherinearandez]

I am obligated to reblog this again, because it is now Superwholock, and therefore perfection.

[fatefulfindings]

people need to remember that every tumblr post in 2012 was like this

[dragongirlsnout]

DASHBOARD UNFUCKER V1.0

as 90% of desktop users have probably found out, today @staff released an update that for some insane reason COMPLETELY remodels the dashboard to replicate twitter's. this is of course in the wake of numerous other thoroughly hated changes and a continued refusal to fix any of the site's actual problems, half of which stem directly from site management.

HOWEVER, thanks to the power of jQuery, i was able to throw together a userscript that remodels the dashboard back to its original look almost perfectly.

here is my dashboard right now, with the script active:

and here is the old dashboard in separate tab container that hasn't received the update:

it's hardly perfect; i had trouble making it force reload to the fixed layout when switching between other pages and the dashboard, and it currently only fixes just the dashboard. it's also completely untested on browsers other than firefox, and chances are it looks a bit screwy on ultrawide monitors. but for now at least, it's a good fix.

the unfucker is a tampermonkey userscript. all you have to do to use it is install the tampermonkey extension, hit "create new script", and replace the default code on the page with the script (link here) and save it.

[welcome2tmblrbestie]

the update hasn't hit me yet but I'm sure it will soon. Definitely spreading this

[welcome2tmblrbestie]

I have two questions about notifications.

Who all gets a notification when you reblog or like something? I'm especially wondering about post with contributions from several different people. Does everybody of them get a notification when someone interacts with that post?

And when you only can like something once (compared to reblogging)... to use an example: if a post you already liked appear on your dash again, what happens if you undo the like and like it again. Who will get a notification of that? Will somebody get a notification that you removed a like too? Or does it just look like somebody liked it again? Or does the -1 +1 = 0 mean it doesn't affect any notifications? (even if the person's reblog you're interacting with this time is another person than you've interacted with the post through when it first was liked)

So basically if you see a post on your Tumblr feed, Tumblr treats it as if there are two people responsible for that post: the OP and whoever reblogged it onto your dash. Everyone else is irrelevant. You could see a post that has 12 different reblogs from 12 different blogs, each with a thoughtful comment, but when you interact with it, only the two accounts I mentioned will receive a notification.

Bc of this, if you're reblogging to reply to an earlier reblog, I recommend either tagging them in your post or tapping on their url first so that you're reblogging their version without all the additional comments. That way they know about your response

(Also, the weird side effect here is that if something I reblog becomes popular with my comment included in the thread, I may never realize it unless I find out by chance, because people may be reblogging a version that's no longer in my hands.)

Liking's a similar thing. Assuming that the person who reblogged it this time is different than the last time you saw it, then for all intents and purposes, Tumblr's treating it like a new post, so both the new reblogger and OP will be notified of the new like, and nobody else. (caveat, I may be wrong about OP getting a second notif.)

If you unlike a post, nobody gets notified.

[simply-ask-games]

the long awaited iconic tumblr post ask game!! thank you for all who suggested a post :)

(if enough people want one perhaps I'll make a part 2? who knows?)

and, naturally, reblog to join + click for quality

[staffs-secret-blog]

Okay that's cool I'm glad they give us the choice to turn it off when we log in

[jv]

and something important: You can't blaze posts from someone unless they have seen that announcement. So if someone doesn't log in today (or in whatever time), their post won't be blazeable until they do and 👍 or 👎 it.

[welcome2tmblrbestie]

excellent news, i look forward to the chaos

[gmbencompetence]

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

[jupiterjunebug]

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

[gmbencompetence]

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

[thisisdefinitelyacreativename]

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

[gmbencompetence]

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

[turtle-powered]

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

[gmbencompetence]

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

[analienorsutin]

Rare blue watermelon

[sickofimmortality]

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

[akiraita]

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

[unicornfan]

soap makes water molecules smaller

[elphabaoftheopera]

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

[bisexualwario]

the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

[adataraxia]

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

[softurl]

[sasukehateblog]

that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

[painisthecleanser]

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

The two way mirror

[rinlockhart]

“listen here, cumslut.”

[tenaflyviper]

I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.

[nyokoko]

I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.

[chromaticabrasions]

all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)

infinite chocolate hack

berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)

mri scan walking dead gif

train gif brain thinks you died

tubby custard machine

horse dildo

moonmelon (and variations)

alexandria’s genisis

bird chocolate fountain og post

soap shrinks water molecules

we are killing the earth

ham on dog

tequila isnt a depressant

earth is lumpy

joker without makeup

voldemort fetus

two way mirror og post

fig vagina

[carillonghorn]

[maximumsunshine]

Someone needs to run a which was stupidest bracket deathmatch series of polls.

[welcome2tmblrbestie]

If you came to the party too late to see the reacts or if you simply don't have the option to view Tumblr on the web, I screen recorded myself playing with the react buttons on @andmaybegayer's post for posterity.

If you can, watch the vid with audio since a couple of the buttons have sound effects.

i've also seen unicorn and pikaman reacts on some posts but they don't seem to do anything either. i think new reacts appear the more that the existing buttons get pressed

[welcome2tmblrbestie]

If you came to the party too late to see the reacts or if you simply don't have the option to view Tumblr on the web, I screen recorded myself playing with the react buttons on @andmaybegayer's post for posterity.

If you can, watch the vid with audio since a couple of the buttons have sound effects.

i've also seen unicorn and pikaman reacts on some posts but they don't seem to do anything either. i think new reacts appear the more that the existing buttons get pressed

[welcome2tmblrbestie]

the crabs were better in my opinion but dear lord these voting buttons are a hilarious april fool's feature. the "cuatro" totally jumpscared me

[rappersdoingnormalshit-blog]

[st3fan00]

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

[whitegirlsaintshit]

those are his hooves you bitch

[mockiatoh]

This post changed us fundamentally

[nyancrimew]

Hey, you keep on mentioning you don't know how tumblr works. I'd be perfectly happy to lie to you if you want to know more!

ok whats the funniest lie you have about how tumblr works

[chameliyun]

[pathos-logical]

[ID: A reply by @/demonbunny5 which reads: "you can find posts by searching for them with the search bar." End ID]

[gorbling]

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

[gorbling]

[hapalopus]

[lily-orchard-archives]

November 24, 2022

[lakevida]

at least tumblr hot takes are written by an overwhelming majority of just weird nerds and teens who don’t hang out with other gays... on twitter you can stumble upon any unbelievably bad opinion and discover it was written by an nbc showrunner who married the ceo of a startup that converts rental properties into oil wells. like at least nobody here has money or influence

[itmeansapricot]

#listen...tumblr is like the great mouse detective/american tail/ratatouille/rescuers rodent microcosm of reality#we live parallel lives but the stakes and consequences are proportionally tiny and sound like angry squeaking to people passing by#like#explain fandom drama to someone who isn't extremely logged on and all they will precieve is 🐀 ᵐᵉᵉᵖ ᵐᵉᵉᵖ ᵐᵉᵉᵖ ᵐᵉᵉᵖ ᵐᵉᵉᵖ

[uchidachi]

I think this view of tumblr is a little rosy. It can be like Watership Down, because some of you are committing rabbit war crimes.