The Bareback Contessa

Formerly known as capitaloftexas. Professional musician and even more professional faggot. 💅🏻🏳️‍🌈

[notvoid]

[milf-adjacent]

Love how she was all carefree then skipped right over angry and went all the way to Dark Souls miniboss

[agoddamnrayofsunshine]

Nightmare image

[depsidase]

[hooved]

lemon is so so so fucking good in sweet food and savory food and spicy food and salty food and drinks. she has it all

[depsidase]

[kristina100000]

mozzarella and cheddar when i open my fridge and its not their time to be added to a fuckalicious grilled cheese sandwich

[godlessondheimite]

“ice water makes you sick” “ice water gives you stomach cramps” i’m sorry if i have a hardy and oxlike american constitution but unless you have underlying health issues, the only water temperature that should cause adverse health effects is if you chug a gallon of boiling hot water that has also been laced with nefarious chemicals

[theclockwitch]

AH, this person has never been on a forced 10k run in 90 degree heat 90 % humidity and then forced to slam a liter of ice water.

You will cramp. You will throw up. It will not rehydrate you at all. The medic will get to practice his large bore IVs.

[godlessondheimite]

Yeah, most people haven’t and never will so this won’t actually happen to me.

[dreamstars]

[oneheadtoanother]

[vieneinpace]

William Etty's Male Nude, with Arms Up-Stretched (1828) revamped by Astra Zero

[notgreatthanks]

[00000066]

[goslinggf]

um...exsqueak me ?

[deathw1shx-deactivated20251128]

pillow fight but you get pinned down and bred at the end of it

[gaymerkrys]

Who wants to pillow fight?

[thecryptkeeper]

really dig these

[jeanritchie]

i love sending people my totaled car as a reaction image it’s so funny

[jeanritchie]

[malglories]

i do feel somewhat ruined forever. but it’s okay we stay silly

[anthxny]

[wizardworms]

Henri de Tolouse-Lautrec: At the Moulin Rouge, 1892-95

[yeahiwasintheshit]