humans need a healthy dose of believing in benign bullshit. four leaf clovers. salt over the shoulder. if you don’t let it out in little ways it builds up inside of you where it rots until you join qanon.
happy pride, yall. happy pride to everyone who's getting or has been misgendered. happy pride to everyone who's had to defend their choice of partner (or lack thereof). happy pride to everyone who can't come out, and to everyone who didn't get to choose who knows. happy pride to everyone who has to choose between being themselves and being safe. i see you. i love you. there is so much joy to be had in being who and what you are. we're in this together and we're going to be better than okay.
i got the flu so it's sick wenclair hcs time. yay.
they're both nightmares
enid's mother has always told her she seemed to contract ""male flu"" bc she turns just as useless and dramatic as her brothers. the second her incredibly strong werewolf immune system fails she's bed ridden, it might be just a fever but she doesn't Care, her body gets weak and she needs to spent three days whining and sleeping. her nose gets really obstructed and she's a pain to convince to use the proper cleaning tools for it.
she lies down and tells wednesday she should say goodbye because she's already seeing the light. death is certainly incoming. a single pill of tylenol and A Lot of water makes her retract the statement just one day later.
wednesday is somehow worse.
she might be an addams and have an impressively strong body for a human but when she gets sick she gets it all at once with the the strongest symptoms ever. im talking about flu mixed with stomach aches and vomiting, she tries to go on with her life but it's just impossible and someone will for sure find her nearly passed out in the stairs – enid makes it clear that in those instances it's better for everyone at the school to avoid wednesday's direct line of sight and warn her as soon as possible so she can bring her roommate home without risking a concussion.
wednesday doesn't say much but she'll silently hiss if the pain is too much and will refuse to take any sort of medicine not addams produced. she doesn't trust the pharmaceutical industry and much less whatever they have in the infirmary, she knows grandmama's medicines always work better anyway so there's no need to take anything else. even if coughs make her body tremble and the fever is so high she might be hallucinating.
all in all, she's very annoying to deal with and enid curses herself as her stubborn friend tries to open her eyes yet again to keep working on her novel despite drooling on the pillow because they had to mix nyquill and the traditional medicines.
and god forbid they get sick at the same time, none of their friends can deal with their combined annoyingness so bianca just calls morticia. they suddenly get better within a day and a half.
Yoko: Did you hear about Dort's latest charitable scheme
Wednesday: I assume you are referring to the student carnival
Yoko: sure but did you hear about the kissing booth?
Wednesday: I was aware Nevermore is somewhat antiquated but even I did not believe they would sink to such a pathetic ploy . . . What drooling sycophant would even volunteer . .
Enid: Hey what do you think of my dress? *wearing a pink dress covered in black lipstick markings*
Wednesday looks at Enid, blank expression, turns around and runs
Enid: . . . That's probably not a compliment right?
Yoko: Honestly I wouldn't even try to guess what's going through her head, it would probably make me culpable
. . .
The day off the student carnival
Enid: You don't understand she didn't come back to our room last night and Thing didn't even know where she was
Bianca: I understand that hurts but you agreed to help me out
Enid and Bianca standing in a small black and white striped carnival tent
Enid: I know but . . .
Bianca: There's already a big line and . . .
A loud shot goes off and people go running for cover Bianca and Enid peak out to see a bedraggled looking Wednesday carrying a dufflebag
Enid: *steps out of the tent* Wednesday! Where have you been I was worried!
Wednesday approaches the table in front of the tent and drops the duffle bag with a thud
Wednesday: There was no reason for you to be concerned I was merely participating in . . . nocturnal bird watching
Bianca: Please tell me that isn't a bag full of body parts
Wednesday unzips the bag and it is full of stacks of cash
Bianca: *takes a stack* . . . is this blood?
Wednesday: without access to testing equipment there is no way to tell
Someone clears their throat behind them, Yoko is looking smug and Divina holds a large teddy bear with vampire fangs
Yoko: I'll be the judge of that *takes a stack of bills and begins sucking it* Yes, no way to tell without testing equipment
Bianca: *rolls her eyes* Really
Yoko: *still sucking on bills* What am I a snitch?
Divina: Yoko do you know how much cocaine and bacteria those bills have probably touched?
Yoko: Pssshhhttt not enough
Enid: *who had been quietly staring at Wednesday* Did you really spend all night "bird watching" just so I wouldn't have to kiss anyone?
Wednesday: . . . Yes . . . that was my full motivation
Enid: I could just *runs around the table* can I hug you?
Wednesday: . . . Yes
Enid crushes Wednesday in a hug and smiles at her
Enid: Oh my god you are the best roommate ever! I need to go journal about this!!!
Enid runs off and Bianca takes the money from Yoko, who glares, and puts it back in the dufflebag
Bianca: Whatever, works for me *carries the money away*
Yoko: *puts a hand on Wednesday's shoulder* Tough break kid
Wednesday: I don't know what your referring to
Divina: You wouldn't have want your first kiss to be transactional anyway
Wednesday: I have kissed before
Divina: Not what I meant, it will happen when your both ready
Yoko: Or a tragic accident happens to a number of Netflix executives
enid who is dating pro [insert sport] player ajax to hide his sexuality to the media on top of hiding her own to her mother. they're friends and people swear they have chemistry but it really would never work.
wednesday who took on the label of "girlfriend" for [insert same sport] player joel just because she's actually deeply curious about a social phenomenon for once and she wants to understand what's the appeal of this life. since her friendship with joel started she sees all this movement to Be A Wag and she just doesn't get it and there's something in her brain challenging her to so she demands (cashes in on a bet) to be his company for a year.
and wednesday is utterly bored until she meets enid and they start to hang out. the tabloids make a huge deal of their friendship not knowing they started to make out in wednesday's house every other day.
they do eventually get found out and when the guys are asked about how much it hurts to be cheated on joel just laughs and says that wednesday does what wednesday wills. ajax shrugs and looks straight to the camera just to tell the audience to never ever ever let their boyfriends stop them from meeting their wives.
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