no seriously, what should name?

they/he, mid 20's lurked for 9ish years on this hell-site(affectionate)

[eremitical]

costco should sell weed i want to smoke kirkland signature strain

[notelizabethbutmaybe2]

Did you know that instead of doing the list of things you need to do that you can have orgasms alone in your room?

[raccoonmilf]

Scientifically speaking, it’s only tentacle porn if the suckers are found exclusively on the distal tentacular club. If the suckers go all the way up the length of the appendage, it’s just arm porn.

[oh-hools]

i love my it/its

[wetdirtguy]

Me spending time with people: joy abounds, we are all connected and there is hope!

Me 1 day later: I need to be left alone to gather the pieces of Me together

Me 2 days later: there is something very rotten at my core and I will almost certainly die unloved

[shark-tranny]

earth worm, fire ant, water buffalo

what is the elusive wind animal

[tonsimonsi]

wind turbine

[shark-tranny]

yeah you win

[thoodleoo]

reading about the participation of children in rituals as a form of play in ancient greece and came across an incredibly charming story from julius pollux's onomasticon where a flood prevented the adults from reaching a sanctuary to sacrifice a ram to heracles, and the children solved the problem by....sticking a bunch of sticks in an apple to give it "legs" and "horns" and offering it as a sacrifice instead. it's such a charming thought and i can perfectly picture kids these days also pretending at sacrificing an apple "goat" at recess

[thoodleoo]

catch me on the playground playing sacrifices

[paxamericana]

[epicsause-official]

just got an idea for a banger couples shirts design

[fawn-or-fight]

Please PLEASE someone teach me to relax- I’m so wound up and tired of overthinking every little move

Guide me gently through every step like I’m stupid and force me to let go of all these thoughts

[depsidase]

[womanguy]

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

[byjove]

June is also men’s mental health month so I’d like to drop in and say that mine is not so good. It’s also Pride Month so I’m going to be treating the problem with yaoi.

[byjove]

Which kind of works for me, in conjunction with 150 mg of Zoloft and roughly 20 mg of THC.

[byjove]

[feldfrog]

Imagine being one of the parents for the kids in the Magic School Bus class. Getting those field trip permission slips home every single night.

Like what, another one? Doesn’t she teach? This just says Inside a Dog

[asimovsideburns]

Ms Frizzle sending you one (1) permission slip at the beginning of the year to cover all the field trips and you’re like huh that’s a little unusual but I guess it’s efficient at least and then you open it and it’s written like This

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM

[enjoloras-deactivated20220821]

Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.

Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:

[prokopetz]

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

[kingarniestar-deactivated202509]

me when im a flea

[ciqqy]

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

[ciqqy]