This movie is the perfect example of why a bard and a rogue should never leave the party and go off on their own adventure.
Uh, this movie is a perfect example of why a bard and a rogue should absolutely leave the party and have their own adventure
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trying on a metaphor

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Love Begins
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Stranger Things

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@whathappenedatthegame
This movie is the perfect example of why a bard and a rogue should never leave the party and go off on their own adventure.
Uh, this movie is a perfect example of why a bard and a rogue should absolutely leave the party and have their own adventure
i have never understood or played magic the gathering, but i have nothing but respect for it after seeing this tittieless snake woman
you could have gone the easy route. you could have given her titties. but you didn’t. cause she’s a reptile. thank you mtg. thank you.
what if magic was real but it was treated the way music is now with different genres and like “oh youre still into conjuring? thats cool I guess. recently ive been getting into third-wave post-necromancy, it’s some pretty heavy stuff”
“what do you mean you’ve never learned FIREBALL, it’s a CLASSIC” “idk I’m not really into evocations.” “how can you not be into ANY evocations?” “well, it’s kind of dad magic, isn’t it?”
DAD MAGIC
This notion a lot of tabletop gamers have that there’s really only one kind of tabletop RPG - and all other games ought to be understood as broken or incomplete versions of that ideal game - is really puzzling. We don’t approach any other medium that way. Like, imagine trying to understand Civilization as a broken or incomplete version of Guitar Hero.
True. There is no perfect mechanic or system, just the one that tells a particular story well.
See, the notion that the purpose of tabletop roleplaying games is “to tell stories” is exactly the sort of dogmatism I’m talking about. Certainly, facilitating the telling of stories is among the several functions of tabletop roleplaying games, but insisting that that’s what they’re for is part of what gets us into this mess in the first place.
Wait, what else are they for?
Well, one of the other primary functions of tabletop roleplaying games is right there in the name: the role. Sometimes you just wanna spend a few hours talking in a funny voice and calling yourself Lord Elfington - and if that just so happens to result in a story worth relating, hey, bonus.
(Other principle roles of tabletop roleplaying games include: as a ritualised social gathering; as an opportunity for non-adversarial play; and as an excuse to roll great thundering handfuls of dice. The “non-adversarial play” part is a big one, and a big part of the reason why certain roleplaying purists’ attempts to reduce mechanical engagement all the way down to zero are fundamentally misguided: a huge chunk of the hobby’s adherents are into it precisely because it lets you play around with dice and tokens and little plastic people without pitting you against the other players as enemies in the process.)
wait, so first you say it’s dogmatism to think rpgs are just for storytelling, and that essentially you should play them how you like, and then say people are misguided for playing them how they like?
No, I’m saying that folks are misguided for insisting that rolling dice isn’t “real” roleplaying. It’s just another flavour of one-true-wayist dogmatism: holding up freeform RP is the only true RP, and interpreting tabletop RPGs with dice and rules as broken or incomplete versions of freeform RP. By all means, play however you want, but understand the reason that people roll dice is not that they’re too stupid to realise it’s possible to have fun without them.
(If you haven’t run into that attitude, take my word for it: it’s all over the place. Heck, there are folks trotting it out in the notes on this very post, having evidently failed to realise that yeah, I’m talking about you!)
I had this conversation about D&D 4e a lot when it came out. It was super focused on combat, and miniatures based tactical situations. And a lot of the criticism seemed to miss that they didn't fail to make an RPG, they made a focused type of RPG. Now, I don't much care for high fantasy, and also not much for super granular combat simulations, but that does not mean that 4e was a bad example of a high fantasy game with granular miniatures based combat. For the people who like that sort of game, this was the game for them. As the saying goes: We don't all like the same things. And a good thing, too. Just think what a haggis shortage there would be.
You enter the trap-and-monsters-filled dungeon. It’s perfectly safe. All the monsters have already set off the traps and died. The only inhabitant is a single very sheepish dungeon designer who will give you treasure if you promise not to tell anyone about this.
When you unexpectedly get your period and suddenly all your weird health issues from the past week make sense
picking RPG clothes based on maxing stats instead of whether they match or not
[*rpg music playing as gear gets picked* boss (wearing paper crown): so you’ve finally… arrived… what the hell are you wearing? player character: it’s my ass kicking outfit, bitch!]
Remember your patience is always in the last place you look.
“I need you to make a dignity saving throw.”
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Some D&D designs I made for my ComicDom Con sticker packs.
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Reblog the nat 20 megadiamond for 20 years of success on bullshit the DM didn’t plan for
The goblin offers you a truce. He has seen that you are just as pathetic as he is and wants to be friends.
The DM after three turns of a Fighter and Goblin attacking and missing for three turns. (via outofcontextdnd)
There’s a trope I’ve run into on several occasions in wuxia comics where there’s, like, this evil doctor who magically weaponises the smoke from his opium pipe, pulling off stunts like vanishing into clouds of impenetrable smoke, attacking his enemies with streams of toxic vapour, etc.
(I’m sure they must be referencing something in particular, though I don’t know enough about the medium to positively identify the original.)
I just had a vivid mental image of that exact fight scene, except instead of an evil doctor with a magical opium pipe, it’s a fedora-wearing nerdbro with a magical vape pen.
I’m not sure what to do with this.
This is what happens after the end of Shaolin Soccer when literally everyone learns mystical martial arts and starts cultivating their inner strength.
Or it’s a one-shot boss from a Guiding Hand Victorious critical shift in Feng Shui.
Or both.
I actually kind of hate that I can think of multiple published tabletop RPGs where this guy would be a totally plausible mid-session miniboss.
#I’m now kinda tempted to make a character that does this #have to do it for a one-shot #joke characters have an unfortunate tendency to stick around (via @zombieofdrake)
You could do a wizard-type character, where each flavour of vape fluid has a different effect. e.g., maybe menthol grants the power flight, while root beer lets you conjure cunning illusions from the vapour. Make Dexterity checks to swap cartridges in combat, potentially getting the wrong flavour if you fumble!
Yes but what do you do to keep the wizard from looting it?
Madam, if you’re the GM and the party’s wizard says she wants to experiment with the magic drugs she just boosted from a flying weirdo, you say yes.
I come back from missing a session and this is what I find.
DM: The Yeti is limping, and favouring one paw -
Player 1: Um, as a scientist, Yeti’s don’t have paws, they have feet, they’re apes
Player 2: Did you just say that as a SCIENTIST, YETIS don’t have paws?
Player 1: I’m a cryptozoologist