I'm right behind you...

Welcome to the internet! I've eaten your guide.

[sincardinality]

[tsotea-deactivated20210727]

happy april fools. please take this egg

hahahahahha………………..

youve been fooled………………by the april fools beeper……………..it was a fully grown bird the entire time…..no egg………………it tells u it hopes u hav a good april 1st

[humanimalgam]

teachers: don’t come to class when you’re sick!! it’s better for everyone if you stay home

also teachers: oh yeah just remember that you will be harshly penalized over missing class for any reason, including physical sickness!

every student, ever:

[tiwaztyrsfist]

I’ll do you one better. All Food Service Jobs: Please remember that it is a literal crime, a Felony, for you to come to work if you have diarrhea, Salmonella, E. Coli, or any other illness that can be transmitted via food contact. Same Job: If you miss two days you will be terminated for cause, and your last paycheck voided. No you cannot appeal this, no we don’t care if you have a doctor’s note.

[fuzzyghost]

[paper-mario-wiki]

cool!

[snowflakeeel]

- @jistring

[wizzardbaby]

PUT YOUR HAND IN THAT CRACK

AND YOU WONT GET IT BACK

[chickenwhite]

WHEEEEN THE JAWS OPEN WIDE

AND THERE’S MORE JAWS INSIDE

[your-mouths-a-constellation]

WHEN IT SWIMS ON A REEF

AND HAS TWO SETS OF TEETH

[snowflakeeel]

[korolevx-deactivated20180128]

my mom got a pack of candles and only realized once she started putting them on the cake that they said “birthday boy” and not “happy birthday” so we made do

[flairina]

HABY BIRTDOY

[officialghostfucker-deactivated]

I just straight up don’t have an ip address

[thatthinginyourshoe-deactivated]

[la-laborista-republiko]

worth a shot

[shitpostempire]

[falyros]

DM after failed stealth roll: Hmm… You try to sneak around but you’re dummy thicc and the clap from your ass cheeks alerts the guards. Roll for initiative.

[horsecrash]

i’ve cracked the code

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[tonedeafparrot]

[fruitsoftheweb]

hyper realistic dog animation

[vzmp3-deactivated20210522]

Oh my god I forgot I was in Wales and I was trying to read signs thinking I was having a fucking stroke

[vzmp3-deactivated20210522]

What the fuck

[we-love-gaming]

Will u join the challenge?

[wereralph]

is there a reason for this? like is this part of a strike or something im not aware of? 

[wereralph]

i cannot believe im this fucking stupid 

[heraldofultimateness]

Ralph, pick a number between 1 and 10

[wereralph]

four of course because it’s my lucky number

[heraldofultimateness]

Good cause that’s your IQ

[wereralph]

[a-girl-with-sparkling-lies]

How I knew instantly that the new Pokemon is a UK world

THIS

is not a beret. Its a tam o’ shanter, traditionally Scottish.

Nintendo give me zesty Scottish Pokemanz i beg of you

[squid-ears]

Pokemon except all dialogue is written like Scottish Twitter PLEASE

[tinysaurus-rex-deactivated20240]

So my friend’s kid has celiac and dyslexia and reading labels is difficult for them (also they’re like 7) so he’s teaching their pigeon, Grey Boy, to read the labels and identify ingredients with gluten. It’s going well, other than Nick thought it would be a good idea to make the behavior when the pigeon does find a bad ingredient to just fucking…wing slap the box. Just beat the shit out of it like, “no! BAD gluten! BAD!”

[hyperappreciation]

@tinysaurus-rex I drew an artist’s interpretation of Grey Boy the pigeon pummeling a box of cheesy snacks into dust for Gluten Crimes. Pigeons have buff arms and big fists, right? Yeah, that sounds correct. Totally.

[tinysaurus-rex-deactivated20240]

This is beautiful.