no longer attempted writer

i actually wrote a book libra sun gemini moon autism rising

[mrsterlingeverything]

It is thursday morning. Visualize yourself as the marble, the chisel, and the untrained sculpter who just tried methamphetamine

[tropiyas]

[pastabot]

“Pine Barrens” - The Sopranos (S3E11)

[prescription-cactus]

what is your eye color. what is your favorite color. what is the color that appears most frequently in your wardrobe. what color is your favorite blanket. what color is your water bottle.

[interestingmistakes]

Reblogging this manually. Op doesn't want credit for fear of being terminated.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

there’s a used bookstore in rural western massachusetts (the montague book mill) whose motto is “books you don’t need in a place you can’t find” and i just feel like that summarizes tumblr too

[oysters-aint-for-me]

posts you don’t need on a site you can’t search

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Levels of understanding other slavic languages

oh we also have X and it means the same!

that looks like X but misspelled

that's just the archaic variant of X

this sounds a lot like Y from another slavic language I know which means X in mine so this almost 100% also means X

this word is completely different but I can kinda tell the meaning from the morphology

what

okay right now I'm gonna have to dissect the entirety of this language's history to figure out how the FUCK did y'all get to the point of calling X that and not something more normal

I wanted to ask for X and accidentally called someone a whore

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

I don't even have to look at the blog and I just know this is from a Pole about Czechs

suffering

[byrons]

KAKAOVY CHLEBICEK???!!!???

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

hissing growling scratching you etc etc

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

for example

(Polish: are you looking for a squirrel?, Slovak: excuse me, he is doing what to the squirrel?)

(also "hladna pića" means "cold drinks" in Croatian. means "hungry cunt" in Slovak and Czech)

("you're weird" in Czech is the same as "you're amazing" in Croatian, while "you're amazing" in Czech is the same as "you're terrible" in Croatian)

[poetka]

My favourite recent-ish example of #8:

[visloka]

[czto-nebud-blog]

Don't forget this:

And of course pomoć (help) vs pomoč (ordering you to piss on something)

[czto-nebud-blog]

Also remembered this shop from my trip to Croatia (piko means meth in czech and slovak)

[kaazdalena]

przepraszam w CZYM ta restauracja????

[axolotl-anemonoides]

This reminds me of that time my (Czech) family went to Poland for my uncle's wedding (because my aunt - his wife - is Polish and they decided to get married in Poland).

The wedding afterparty was in full swing, everyone was drinking and partying.... and an elderly Polish lady approached my two aunts (who were also drinking a lot and partying hard) and commented something along the lines of "jesteście odporne". Which in Polish means "you're resilient" (as in they're handling the alcohol well) but in Czech it means "you're disgusting".

It took my aunts a bit to remember that it means something different in Polish. 😅

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

another beautiful case of n.8 from @someidioticurl

Czech vision: ah yes an emergency button to press in case of emergency

Polish vision:

[ta-bajna-cerna-okybaca]

Oh, I have a few!

'pozor' in Czech means 'watch out!', but means 'shame' in Russian

droga in czech means drug, in polish it means road

záchod in czech means toilet, zachód in polish means 'west'

odchod 'to depart' in Czech means very specifically 'to depart by foot', while in Slovak it has a bit wider meaning, and buses and trains also combine with 'odchod'. To a Czech speaker this gives the funny implication that departing trains grow legs and walk out of the train station

Croatian 'mrdati' = to wiggle, means 'to have sex' in Czech

'Čerstvý, voňavý chléb' is Czech for 'fresh, nicely smelling bread'. In means the opposite in some slavic languages 'stale, stinky bread'. This kind of 'good meaning in one but bad meaning in other' duality happens surprisingly often actually, see also úžas and odporný above

otrok in Czech means 'slave' but in Slovenian and perhaps other South slavic languages it means 'child'. Very funny when combined with bazaar, turns a perfectly fine baby bazar into a slave bazaar

My friend has a fun sentence from Slovenian - "Hitri otroci kuhali jed na Dunaji". Literally none of the words here mean what a Czech thinks they mean. No not even Dunaj. Czechs read it as 'smart slaves were disemboweling poison by the Donau river', original Slovenian meaning is 'fast children were cooking food in Vienna'

Edit: wait one more. "srpanj" in Croatian means July, "srpen" in Czech means August. Listopad in Croatian means 'October', in Czech means 'November'. rujan in Croatian means 'September', říjen in Czech means 'October'. kwiecień in Polish means 'April', kviteń in Ukrainian also means 'April', květen in Czech means 'May'. Months are fucked up.

[arthoesunshine]

i like to pretend i already died and asked god to send me back to earth so i can swim in lakes again and see mountains and get my heart broken and love my friends and cry so hard in the bathroom and go grocery shopping 1,000 more times. and that i promised i would never forget the miracle of being here

[rslashrats]

making up characters is so fun because you can be like “this is johnson he came from my mind” and all your friends will go “yippe!!! horray!!! we love johnson!!!”

[rslashrats]

very unfortunate but hilarious side effect of calling the example oc johnson in this post is now people are saying this in the tags

[theocseason4]

Everything is embarrassing if you live your life through the eyes of others btw

[treecitysessions]

Why does everyone think fiction is just fantasy wish fulfillment now and not like an exploration of themes and ideas

[treecitysessions]

People will be like “this movie is evil and gross because it depicts a predatory relationship” and then you watch the movie in question and it’s about how preying on young women is bad and impacts their lives negatively

[treecitysessions]

“Why would they do this instead of just making everyone in the movie nice and normal and good” so we would have this conversation….

[chuckletons]

just made the best non-looping gif i think

[chuckletons]

[chuckletons]

i said it was non-looping i'm sorry what am i supposed to say!!!!!!!

[redtextedquotes]

Everybody looking at this post

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that

[loveridden1999]

bring back shame

[loveridden1999]

peer reviewed tags

[bonesbeetle]

my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how's that for in de pendant you little shit

[hagiomoto]

It's kinda unacceptable and strange even that it's already double digit date in November when first November was only yesterday

[meatdiaz]

you need to kill the voice in your head that tells you to always explain and excuse yourself. it’s okay to be misunderstood and misinterpreted by people who aren’t a part of your life and don’t know who you are

[dragongirlsnout]

The spirit is weak the flesh is weak and me also I feel not so willing