Saw something magical today. Kid in front of us on our flight (prob 4-5 years old) playing a wordle type game and his two first guesses were MOMMY and DADDY
i just saw a post on reddit titled "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" and it was about OP clicking off a fic because they don't like the direction it's going in. slightly different context but can we all be more like this reddit OP. i think "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" should be the new "don't like don't read." dead doves may give you diarrhea but don't make that everyone else's problem.
I’ve read that Agatha said she loved being married to an archaeologist because the older she got, the more interesting he found her. And I think that is one of the best quotes about love that I have ever heard.
Time for the 2025 Miss Universe National Costume competition! I hope you like sexy birds, rhinestones, and drag for extremely fancy cis women.
Let's get started!
Miss Albania is a sexy bird inspired by the Albanian flag, which is as close to generic as this competition ever gets. Points for construction and ease of wear, though.
Without the mural, Miss Angola's costume reads more 'ice queen' than 'waterfall.' Unfortunately I still think no costume has ever been improved by adding a giant mural, especially because they're never very well-rendered.
Miss Argentina's costume is inspired by a legendary Argentinian musician. Unfortunately those guitars wobble like crazy in motion, or this would be a solid 7/10.
Miss Armenia is dressed as A Specific Rock Formation In Armenia. Unclear on why the hat and pomegranate (?) prop were necessary, although without them this is dangerous close to just being an evening gown with shoulder pads.
Miss Aruba is a sparkly Sea Queen with a removable skirt. Groundbreaking.
Once again Miss Australia is just wearing a dress. This one is Uluru-inspired and more interestingly structural than the past several years of dresses, but frankly that is not going to cut it at this point.
Miss Bahamas has chosen "sexy pirate" and like. mission accomplised! that sure is a sexy pirate costume!
Miss Bangladesh is wearing a lovely sari, and I do like the way her giant lotus flower unfolded from around her on stage. This might be too tasteful for this competition, sadly, which feels like a weird thing to say about a woman wearing 15 pounds of gold jewelry.
It was shockingly difficult to get decent pictures of some of these outfits. There's no complete gallery anywhere I could find. I had to resort to combing random Instagrams to get something better than a blurry youtube screengrab, thereby ruining my algorithm for the forseeable future. I'm mentioning this now because Miss Belarus is wearing a flag gown with a wheat hat, which is boring.
This is not the first time Miss Belgium has been saddled with a poorly-made, cheap-looking costume at this competition, but oof this is a bad one. Nothing about it says 'swan,' the alleged inspiration. The parasol and the knee-highs are only adding to the 'girl at her first Lolita meetup who bought her whole coord from Amazon' vibe. Big yikes.
Miss Belize's toucan is so big that it's kind of wearing her, rather than the other way around. She's also smiling in a particular "I don't want to be wearing this' way that should be very familiar to fans of this competition.
Miss Bolivia does seem to be enjoying her costume! I could note that the headdress is very wobbly in motion and I generally disapprove of giant arm drapes, but you know what? I'm going to let her have this.
Is Miss Bonaire's Sea Queen doing anything new? Not really, no, but it's lavishly blinged-out and well-designed, nothing wobbles or tilts when she walks in it, and I like the octopus.
Miss Botswana's zebra gown is kind of giving Cruella de Ville, especially from the back.
Miss Brazil made the bold choice to put 1 billion sequins on a Virgin Mary costume. I guess it's not technically Sexy Virgin Mary because she's not showing much skin but like. c'mon.
Oh yikes. This is especially upsetting because last year Miss British Virgin Islands had such a genuinely clever and charming costume, and now we have this mess. Really just combining all my least favorite things -- arm drapes, bad murals, Just a Dress -- into one look.
Miss Bulgaria's rose-themed costume is visually impressive, but unfortunately it did not hold up In motion. She was visibly struggling to keep her balance, the rose 'wings' were drooping severely on one side, and she kept shedding feathers on stage.
This is Cabo Verde's first time being included in Miss Universe, and she seemed really excited about it, so I'm going to suggest she adjust her headdress slightly and move on.
Miss Cambodia is wearing vaguely historical gold and carrying a heavily-rhinestoned traditional string instrument, which is not quite voting Present but still kind of a safe choice. Insane amount of nose contour, though. She needs to have a talk with he makeup artist.
Miss Canada seems a little embarrassed about her maple leaf butterfly look. Which is fair.
On the one hand, Miss Cayman Islands was clearly struggling to walk in this costume. On the other hand, giant manta ray puppet. Tough call.
I do like Miss Chile's Tribute to Torres del Paine National Park, and I'm delighted to see a non-Scandinavian country getting in on the Snow Queen action, but the mural panels are never, ever going to improve a costume. Please stop doing this.
Normally I would be more critical of Miss China for veering so close to Just An Evening Gown territory, but she made the sleeve ruffles undulate in a really cool way that you need to see in motion to appreciate.
Miss Colombia's skirt is made of tragically cheap-looking fabric, and the bodice kind of looks like it's giving you the side-eye. Unfortunately this is giving 'intermediate-level cosplay' in terms of build quality.
I do love to see an ambitiously weird silhouette, but I'm afraid whoever built Miss Costa Rica's costume was not quite up to the task. There's a lot of wobbling and the train is badly wrinkled. I appreciate the attempt, though.
Okay. I need a lunch break, and I'm only through 25 of the 100+ costumes, so I will be back with more in a bit!
Miss Cote D'Ivoire's costume is beautifully made and does a great job of combining traditional textiles with bling, and the wings are well-balanced and well-built. If I have any critique, it's that we should maybe all take a minute and ask ourselves whether we want to place an animal-head-shaped decorative element over the contestant's chest or groin area. In my opinion, the answer should almost always be "no."
Miss Croatia Is allegedly wearing a "tribute to the Adriatic Sea" but it's mostly conveying Space Empress to me.
This photo caught Miss Cuba in a moment of Hostage Face but she did seem to be mostly enjoying herself in the video. I think she should have probably committed to either the musical instruments or the dominos, but this is a fun look overall.
Things I do not love about Miss Curacao's costume, in order from least to most troubling: 1. There is a blue-and-yellow color palette and a pink-and-purple color pallette and they are locked in mortal combat for control of this dress. 2. The hem mural. We have discussed this. No Murals. 3. Why did you attach half a dozen deeply haunted-looking baby dolls to your outfit. This was a bad call. I didn't think "no haunted dolls" was something I needed to tell the Miss Universe National Costume team, but here we are.
Miss Czech Republic does look like a minor deity invented by cottagecore Tiktok witches, but that's not a criticism. I think this slaps actually. Her weird tinsel deer helmet is great. I would like to see a froth of petticoats filling in the hollow hoop skirt, and that is my only criticism.
Poor Miss DRC got introduced as "Miss Denmark" and had to stand there doing an awkward video game character creation screen dance for a solid 30 second until someone whispered a correction to the announcer. I also wish her team had chosen slightly less shiny metallic fabrics, because they show every single divot and wrinkle. She does win Widest Wingspan for sure!
And here's the actual Miss Denmark, doing a much better job at conveying Sexy Swan than poor Miss Belgium. Still kinda basic, though.
Oh this is fun! We haven't had a good Giant Flower in a while. Miss Dominican Republic can be proud of this one.
Not only is Miss Ecuador dressed as a Sexy Blue-Footed Booby, but she also looks like a JRPG boss and her mask is giving me Dark Crystal vibes. This is impeccable. No notes.
I tried so hard to hold back the "biblically accurate Miss Egypt" joke that my brain instantly leapt to. I was not successful.
Yes, I know that Miss El Salvador is wearing her actual traditional folk costume, and technically that is what the National Costume competition is for. In practice, though, no it isn't and this is boring.
Miss Equatorial Guinea's costume has lots of texture and detail, which I like, and a photorealistic scowling gorilla face, which I do not like. Congrats on getting to go barefoot though.
More countries should follow Miss Estonia's lead and let a furry design their costumes. For real though, this fucks severely and it's well-built enough that she could move around in it easily without anything wobbling or tilting.
Miss Finland's crown and pauldron deserve better than this prom dress, I'm sorry to say.
Cyberpunk Joan of Arc is a great look. Miss France only needs to swap out the flag for a cool light-up sword to achieve perfection.
Today I learned that Ghana has over 800 species of butterfly! That's neat. Please convey that information with a better-designed costume next year.
Oh this is embarrassing. Miss Great Britain's Tribute To My Fair Lady is a very sweet concept, but 1) her white gown only vaguely resembles Eliza's, is not super well made, and has an unecessary boob cutout, and 2) after transforming onstage she had to awkwardly wheel her flower cart away. Also I'm not sure if she fell down as part of the bit or if that was a real stumble and she covered it well.
A special award goes to the contestant who obviously had no help from her parents: Miss Greece!
Miss Guadeloupe was clearly enjoying her Tribute To The Pink Conch Pearl, and good for her! I think maybe they should not have used white pearls on the costume though.
I'm not clear on how Miss Guatemala's costume is a Tribute To One Specific City In Guatemala, but I would watch a magical girl anime about her.
Miss Guinea brought an entire parade float onstage with her, but she nailed "mining-themed Power Rangers villain" so well that she genuinely didn't need it.
Gliding past the obligatory "girl, you're on fire" jokes to point out that Miss Guyana's costume makes it clear how much it elevates a costume when you use better-quality materials and fabrics with some texture. I love this. (The headdress is a little droopy though.)
Miss Haiti, walking right up to the line between Sexy Bird Costume and That's A Furry.
Miss Honduras is clearly having a great time in her baton twirler costume. I love the cartoonishly exaggerated pauldrons.
Miss Hong Kong appears nearly as often as Miss Australia in the Just An Evening Gown Hall Of Shame. Do better, ladies.
Having said that: you can do worse than Just An Evening Gown, as Miss Hungary demonstrates with Just A Cocktail Dress With Detachable Train.
Very excited that Miss India is not just wearing a fancy sari yet again! Also kind of delighted that this is a Tribute To The Buddha Achieving Enlightement. In the Miss Universe Pageant. I love the outfit but you are not escaping samsara like this, Miss India.
Miss Indonesia, your props and your headdress cannot fool me! That is just an evening gown! I can still tell! Go sit in the corner with Hong Kong and Australia and think about what you've done.
It's possible that I don't know enough about Mesopotamian history to understand Miss Iraq's Tribute To The Ishtar Gate. I'm okay with that. It's big and gold and sparkly. Miss Iraq understood the assignment.
Just hit the image limit, so I'm taking another snack break. Back soon!
It was impossible to find a decent photo of Miss Ireland's Tribute To Gráinne O'Malley, possibly due to embarrassment on the part of everyone involved. If you set me loose at the Maryland Rennaissance Festival for 45 minutes I could recreate this costume down to the last detail. Also she dropped her sword while trying to twirl it.
This is just an evening gown, but Miss Israel's costume was so bad last year that it's still kind of a relief.
Miss Italy is enjoyably whimsical, but I will admit that I liked last year's costume better.
Miss Jamaica's costume has a whole list of inspirations that might be more apparent to other Jamaicans, but I'm not seeing "historic market" or "ingredients of a national dish" tbh. However, it incorporates lots of vital Miss Universe national costume elements like 1) giant flowers 2) big hat 3) sparkly so it's doing fine anyway.
Miss Japan's transforming kimono-to-crane costume did a great job avoiding most of the common pitfalls of transforming costumes -- she didn't have to leave any costume elements on the ground behind her, both the before and after looked good, she could move in it, and the transformation was smooth. Plus I don't think she shed a single feather.
Miss Kazakhstan's gown is made of traditional yurt materials and she nearly tripped on the hem. At no point were the tulip boobs explained.
I think this is the first time since I started doing these writeups that Miss Korea has worn anything other than a fancy hanbok. I am thrilled that we're breaking the streak with Kpop Demon Hunters cosplay. Genuinely so so happy for her.
Miss Kosovo votes Present.
Miss Kyrgyzstan is a Sexy Golden Eagle. I appreciate that they stuck pretty close to the correct color palette for the real bird, and I like her boots.
Miss Laos is impressively detailed, but her giant flower had a wonky unfolding mechanism onstage and tbh I can't escape the impression that her boobs are making an angry owl face. This just feels like a problem that should have been avoidable.
Sorry, Miss Lebanon. Your bodice fits poorly and your skirt is basic.
Personally I think having an allegedly phoenix-themed gown without any sort of transforming element should earn Miss Macau banishment to the Evening Gown Punishment Corner with Hong Kong, Australia, et al.
Could not for the life of me find a decent photo of Miss Malaysia's costume from the actual pageant, so we're using this one. It has a lot of nice details! I would like to see shoes that match better, is all.
Miss Malta's costume is allegedly inspired by their national bird. I call bullshit.
Miss Martinique is a Sexy Calla Lily. Which, yeah, I guess she is.
You can't fool me, Miss Mauritius. I can still tell that's just an evening gown no matter how much stuff you wear on your head.
Same goes for you, Miss Mayotte. No matter how much I like a cape. Also if you have to hold your hat in place on your head the whole time you should maybe not wear that hat.
Miss Mexico, you are such a relief after all those gowns that I am willing to overlook the way your giant flower was flapping around all over the place.
This is Miss Universe Latina, which I don't think I knew was a thing? Or that she competes in original flavor Miss Universe? Anyway this claims to be monarch butterfly inspired but it's kind of. um. blue? for that.
Miss Moldova is wearing a very well-thought-out and tasteful attempt at reinterpreting traditional folk costume with a high-fashion silhouette. Unfortunately she is in the Twelve-Foot Sequined Wingspan competition.
Miss Myanmar is in the same competition as Miss Moldova, but that's not what we're all here for. Where, I ask you, is the whimsy? Where is the chutzpah?
There it is. Thank you, Miss Namibia. I'm sorry I couldn't find a decent picture of your costume in motion from the pageant, and also I wish they hadn't made you carry a big unnecessary fabric mural onstage.
By now I think there should be some lessons that Miss Universe national costume designers should not need to relearn, like "don't cheap out on materials" and "some design elements will look weird when placed directly over the crotch." Sadly Miss Nepal's team may need to hear them one more time.
Oh this is a breath of fresh air. Miss Netherlands is wearing a Tribute To Van Gogh's Almond Blossoms and she's doing a great job. Love this. May add this to my all-time top 10.
Miss New Zealand's Tribute To Lake Tekapo (And Its Flowers) has lots of layering and detail. Its shape and construction are enjoyably unconventional, keeping her safely out of the Just A Gown Shame Corner. Also it's been ages since we had a recycled-materials gown!
Really enjoying the details on Biblically Accurate Miss Nicaragua. (yes I already made that joke. there are 122 of these things. leave me alone.)
Miss Nigeria has the rare costume that actually looks better in photos than in motion. In the video you can tell that she can barely walk and it's not tailored to her shape very well.
Miss Norway's infamous salmon fit! Upon reflection I think I wish she had worn a salmon-colored bodysuit with more beading, but this Is so good conceptually that I love it regardless.
Miss Pakistan is wearing an absolutely stunning lehenga, it looks incredible on her, and I'm thrilled to see a contestant who's not stick thin. However. This is not the 'grace and class' portion of the competition. This is where the rejected Rupaul's Drag Race costume concepts go.
Miss Palestine, I'm really sorry but this is also just an evening gown. That said, your train has maybe the only well-executed mural I've ever seen in this competition.
And there goes the image limit again. Back with more in a bit.
Miss Panama's costume is wider than she is tall and covered in gold, feathers, and rhinestones, which is such a relief at this point.
I'm not getting 'firefly' from Miss Paraguay's costume at all, but at least it's huge and unwieldy and could probably justify a 'biblically accurate Miss Paraguay' joke. Ooh, and parts of it light up.
Miss Peru is Sexy Mount Huascarán. Thrilled to see another South American Snow Queen but this does feel like a bit of a stretch. I recognize that Sexy Strong As Fuck Ice Mummy would be inappropriate on any number of levels, though.
Miss Phillipines, I know I can always count on you to go super fucking hard in this competition. Thank you for your service, and for this enormous gown.
Sigh. To the Gown Shame Corner with you, Miss Poland. I miss last year's Sexy Salt Mine.
I like many aspects of Portugal's Sexy Carnation Revolution costume, and the camo netting train is hilarious, but I wish her shorts matched her boots better.
Time for this year's Costume That Lets The Contestant Show Off That She Can Dance En Pointe. Miss Puerto Rico is killing it, actually. I love this.
Eh. This is mid. Sorry, Miss Romania. I do feel like a bare minimum requirement should be 'no off-the-rack shoes.'
This is a prom dress from the late 90s, and frankly Buffy Summers wore it better. Shame Corner, Miss Russia.
The 'inspired by' flavor text is a bunch of nonsense, but Miss Rwanda is wearing a giant honeycomb paper ball and I'm almost as delighted by it as she is. Great work.
Miss Saint Lucia is a rosebush Entwife and I'm enjoying it tbh.
I think I would like Miss Senegal's costume more without the flag-lined fur cape. Especially without the truly disquieting face on the back of that thing.
Miss Serbia demonstrates what you need to do to get a passing grade from me while still wearing something that is, technically, just a gown. I might be biased towards this because it has a train on it and it looks like the TARDIS exploding. I'm fine with that.
I appreciate that Miss Singapore chose some lovely fabrics, but anything you could conceivably wear as real clothes in public in the daytime should be disqualifying here.
Really enjoying Miss Slovakia's Tribute To Horse Girls -- love the color palette, love 90% of the details. The bare cage crinoline I could do without, though -- either add a high-low skirt over it, or lose the whole thing.
Miss Slovenia is embarrassing herself and also me with this college-Halloween-party-level sexy bee. I'm not even going to capitalize it. She hasn't earned the privilege.
I like Miss South Africa's costume on a conceptual level and she's got great accessories, but this is another 'where is the chutzpah' one for me.
Miss Spain is a sexy endangered Canarian houbara bird, which, sure! She is wearing bright yellow swimsuit bottoms as a base layer and I think that was not the best choice maybe.
Poor Miss Sri Lanka had to wheel this enormous gold teapot onstage; unlike most parade-float costumes, it does not seem to unhinge to let her out and I'm kind of curious about how she got in there in the first place. At no point did we see any of her body below the elbows; she could be wearing sweatpants for all I know. Good for her if she is.
Miss Sweden my beloved!!! This Tribute To Abba is a all-time fave for me. Talk about chutzpah. Talk about drag! Future Miss USAs, take note. I need one of you to step it up to at least this with a Tribute To Dolly Parton. You could probably even borrow Miss Sweden's wig for it.
The backpiece on Miss Switzerland's Tribute To Swiss Watchmaking is tilting dangerously to one side, a failure of engineering that is, frankly, not very Swiss of her.
Miss Tanzania, showing us all how Sexy Bee looks when done correctly. Miss Slovenia, take notes.
The competition is held in Thailand this year, so I'm sure Miss Thailand was under a lot of pressure. While "vaguely historical gold armor" is not pushing any envelopes, this is at least ornate as fuck.
Miss Trinidad and Tobago has a very ornate costume, complete with a giant decoy head to confuse predators.
Miss Turkey got my memo about some things being too tasteful for this competition; unfortunately, she decided to just crop the under-layer of her gown to mini length and called it good.
Biblically Accurate Miss Turks and Caicos looked like she was struggling under the weight of this costume, but I do think the pelican puppets made it worth the effort.
Miss Ukraine is a Sexy Dove Of Peace (who moonlights as a JRPG boss probably) and I love everything about it except the unecessary prop globe and the dove placement location. We've talked about this, ladies.
Miss UAE is wearing actual regional cultural dress, and this is genuinely the best image I could find of it, so let's just move on.
I genuinely think I could have designed a better Sexy Amethyst Geode costume for Miss Uruguay, and she would not have needed to hold up a chunk of rock onstage for it. Also the rock does not make the spangled nude bodysuit anything other than a spangled nude bodysuit.
Miss USA continues our proud tradition of deeply embarrassing Miss Universe national costumes. Sigh.
...and there's the image limit again. Almost done!
Poor Miss US Virgin Islands can barely walk, her dress is basically one big mural, and there's a small chest of gold coins located directly over her crotch. Oof. I guess I like the rainbow madras trim?
lol Miss Venezuela brought two mini parade floats and both of the turtles have moving parts. There is an insane amount of rhinestone and crystal trim on her headdress and sleeves. Delightful. Great work.
Miss Vietnam looks lovely and her ao dai is impeccably tailored but girl. One of your predecessors wore an entire banh mi stand in this competition. A sparkly bicycle is not gonna cut it.
I need everyone to remember that we are grading on a scale with Miss Panama's Sexy Truck and Miss USA's Sexy Optimus Prime at the top end when I say things like "Miss Zambia's costume is a little bit plain for me."
I'm not completely clear on how Miss Zimbabwe's costume is baobab tree inspired unless the baobab in question is actively in flames, but you know what? It's not boring. It's got chutzpah. It also kind of has the Witch-King of Angmar's helmet over the crotch but it's fine. it's fine!
I have to assume there was some behind-the-scenes disaster that put Miss Latvia and her Tribute To The Baltic Sea at the very end of the otherwise alphabetical lineup. That said, I feel like I know any number of cosplayers who could reproduce this and probably improve on it, and it's another instance where upgrading the fabric to something with more texture would make a huge difference.
day 1 at the communal puzzle club: i see a puzzle with a sign next to it that says "please help with our communal puzzle" and i say to myself "don't mind if I do" and did the whole thing
day 2 at the communal puzzle club: i get gently reprimanded for not sharing the puzzle experience with the others. in my defense I thought they needed all the help they could get
day 3 at the communal puzzle club: we start a new puzzle and i put one of the pieces in my pocket and save it for later so i can be the one who puts in the last piece
day 4 at the communal puzzle club: the puzzle is almost complete so i reach into my pocket and realize i left the last piece in my other pants which are currently in the washing machine. i feign ignorance
day 5 at the communal puzzle club: the others are suspicious but they have no proof. they check my pockets before i leave but little do they know that this time i ate the pieces
day 6 at the communal puzzle club: i put an entire bottle of miralax in my coffee to get the pieces out of my digestive system but they are too far dissolved to be usable. my stomach is in so much pain and i can't stop shitting but i rinse off what's left of the pieces and make it to puzzle club anyway, only to find out they don't meet on mondays. i am inconsolable.
day 7 at the communal puzzle club: i realized those pieces are incriminating evidence so i slipped them in someone else's pocket. i should be good as long as they don't find residual traces of my dna
day 9 at the communal puzzle club: i am in such deep focus that the others are starting to fear me. either that or they are cowering away from the communal puzzle out of sheer respect for my skills
day 10 at the communal puzzle club: i'm getting better and better, i can now do several puzzles in one day. the others are discussing what to do about me in hushed tones. little do they know my laser focus allows me to hear everything they say. they aren't a threat.
day 11 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager unlocked the door but already i am inside. ive been here all night doing puzzles in the dark. they threaten to ban me from the club so in response i pick a 500 piece puzzle at random and complete it in under 45 minutes, just to show them who the real authority is
day 12 at the communal puzzle club: i have been officially banned from the communal puzzle club. in a fit of rage i grab as many pieces as i can and eat them, making sure to thoroughly chew and swallow every single one. if i can't do them, no one can.
day 13 at the communal puzzle club: it's monday again. the club doesn't meet today. it's the perfect opportunity to break in and do as many puzzles as my heart desires, without any of the club's petty drama to distract me
day 14 at the communal puzzle club: i am in jail because the club manager snitched to the cops like the pathetic weakling they are. this is the worst night of my entire life there aren't any puzzles here
day 15 at the communal puzzle club: the judge let me off with a restraining order since I didn't actually steal anything. i show back up to communal puzzle club just to make a show of ripping the order to shreds. no piece of paper will dictate my life, only jigsaw-cut cardboard has that power. nothing else.
day 16 at the communal puzzle club: everyone is so quiet today when I walk in. I eat some pieces in a show of force, just to remind everyone who's in charge. I comment that they taste somewhat like strychnine, they say it's just because Ravensburger has a new method of chemically processing their pieces. sounds plausible. 30 minutes later i am convulsing violently but i beg them not to call an ambulance until i finish the puzzle i was working on. but the bastards don't listen and I'm shipped off to the hospital kicking and screaming.
day 17 at the communal puzzle club: i spent the night in the hospital. a detective comes in and says they're investigating the manager of the communal puzzle club for attempted murder and asks what i know. i tell him honestly that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. he says they have more than enough evidence to prosecute regardless.
day 18 at the communal puzzle club: the club manager is on trial for attempted murder and i am called as a witness. i tell the judge that i ain't no snitch and spit in his face. i am held in contempt of the court
day 19 at the communal puzzle club: the defense makes a plea of justifiable self defense, citing the restraining order that isn't even 1 week old. somehow the judge buys that flimsy defense. i mean, this is the same judge who didn't even recognize me from that same case despite being the same judge. i think the poor old man has dementia so i make a motion for a mistrial. it gets shot down because the system is corrupt.
day 20 at the communal puzzle club: the judge says i should get jail time but he decided i should be in a mental facility instead. i don't know why he would think that, i have been nothing but sane my entire life. god forbid a woman have hobbies
day 4 in the psych ward: i need to find those missing pieces i need to find them i need to find them i have been questioning everybody all the nurses all the doctors all the patients all the miscellaneous hospital staff but nobody knows anything. this is hopeless. i will never be able to overcome this trauma. my life is over
day 5 in the psych ward: it's so boring in here. without complete puzzles there's nothing to do except watch tv but the only channel they get is the local news. i begrudgingly watch out of nothing but all-encompassing ennui. but one of the stories is about the communal puzzle club and suddenly i am overcome with nostalgia. turns out there was a series of alleged poisonings attributed to that location. strychnine was found in three people so far, one of whom was myself. but the others didn't survive. this confirms my suspicion that i am in fact the chosen one
day 6 in the psych ward: with a renewed sense of purpose i will attempt to convince the doctors of my "sanity," but i also came to the realization that they don't care about sanity, they only care about sedation. they want to supress my passion, eradicate my truth, condition me to fall in line with the rest of the "sane" people. with that knowledge, i was able to tell them everything they wanted to hear. i acted polite, pretended i was cured, i even feigned complete disinterest in puzzles! it made my stomach boil but i did it, i convinced them, and just like that, i was free.
day 28 at the communal puzzle club: i don't know why everyone was so surprised to see me again, it's only natural that i'd come to finish what i started
(i know this is supposed to be day 27 at the communal puzzle club but day 27 was a monday so nothing happened) like what am i gonna say, "day 27 i sat alone in my studio apartment eating cereal and biding my time"
day 29 at the communal puzzle club: the communal puzzle club has been disbanded, the club manager has been arrested, and the whole place is swarming with cops. i watched as they hauled off a bunch of expensive looking printers and like a billion reams of paper and loaded them onto a big police truck.
apparently, the communal puzzle club was just a front for document forgery and counterfeit cash, and i had been inadvertently sabotaging them this entire time. which is sad because i support both of those things. but it also explains why they met 12 hours a day, 6 days a week and why they had their own building despite having no profit model and also why i was the only one who seemed to actually care about the puzzles. everyone else was too busy making fake passports to care.
in hindsight, i always knew they were all a bunch of casuals. but i didn't mind because they had so many excellent puzzles. I asked one of the officers if i could at least have the puzzles but he said they were already taken and locked away in the evidence room. the thought sickens me- all those puzzles, gathering dust, never to be assembled again. or maybe the pigs just took them for themselves! so they could have all the puzzles they want while the rest of us ordinary, law-abiding citizens have nothing to do except die of boredom!
the moral of the story is that we can never have nice things because of the fucking pigs. fuck the police.
Watching Ted Lasso for the first time and the idea of being almost 40, and well aware of the fact that you're aging out of the sport you've spent all of your life in and having your arch nemesis be some 23 year old with daddy issues and an ego the size of the sun, is fucking hilarious.
Like can you imagine having an already established career and the worst person you know is someone who is not only 15 years younger than you but is also a former fanboy? I would also start speaking in grunts like a caveman with great eyebrows
"i don't care if they make their whole way though uni with chatgpt" i think you guys are so internetpilled that you have forgotten there are actual jobs out there that require people to know what they are doing in any way possible or else people die
Taylor Swift will go after fans who sing covers of her song son YouTube, artists who make AMVs with her music, and early shops that make merch using her lyrics.
She will go after young artists like Olivia Rodrigo for merely being inspired by her.
She will send a hateful hoard of fans towards actresses whose roles demanded they make a joke about her in-script.
But now Donald Trump has used her music TWICE on TikTok to promote his own dictatorship (the newest in which he declares the USA is an empire that belongs to him), and Taylor has nothing to say.
This isn’t just cowardice, it’s support. Because we know by now that Taylor does not tolerate her music being used in any capacity that she doesn’t approve of.
If anyone has been on the fence about her recent actions, please let this be your wake-up call. It’s time to leave her behind. Separate yourself from this fascist regime that she’s funneling millions of dollars into, do it once and for all. This woman is complicit with MAGA.
“I’ve never heard silence quite this loud.” And I don’t even mean Taylor at this point. I mean you.
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dailybridgerton
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