Good fucking yard

Doing fine, 30, in my prime. That had a better ring to it last year. (They/he)

[indigosfindings]

it's crazy when couples & friends & whatnot refer to themselves as "a packaged eel". like wow you two are so close that you are fusing into a long slimy fuck... & theyre putting you in a box......

[omegaversereloaded]

Standing outside the club w no ID dressed as benoit blanc and asking women if they could help me solve the mystery of where my hug is at

[inbabylontheywept]

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

[cleaningouttherooms]

sex is some naked bullshit and food is some crap they found on the ground but online poker is forever

[tatzelwurming]

i show a neanderthal a doom metal album and they understand implicitly. they pick up a bass guitar and start to play it instinctually

[homo-neandertalensis]

Was made to groove

[tatzelwurming]

my man

[tyger-land]

ᴇᴢʀᴀ ᴊᴀᴄᴋ ᴋᴇᴀᴛs Artwork from his 1962 book The Snowy Day.

[ostolero]

Visit Original Link

Mirroring Sheev's Plan by Sullivan

Performed by Austin Walker on AMCA

(originally posted on Cohost)

https://bsky.app/profile/dimosar.bsky.social

https://bsky.app/profile/austinwalker.bsky.social

https://bsky.app/profile/morecivilized.bsky.social

Sheev's Plan:

get elected to senate for naboo

start new sith order

work republic and separatists against each other. recruit evil guy to lead separatists.

(this jedi kid is wicked strong!)

get jedi in deep with clone army. (save some clone jars for later? just in case...)

PIVOT: Make the jedi kid evil. dont need separatist guy anymore. got a new evil guy.

make my evil guy kill his jedi pals when they come to arrest me. ill finish em off with my lightning attack

(fucking guy used his sword to bounce my lightning back at me! honestly my fault. takes a minute for the lightning to wind down and he got my ass on the bounce. fair play. now i look like a leather couch but its fine. can blame jedi for THAT too)

Use the clones to kill the jedi, have my evil guy kill the seperatists, keep the army, spin into empire

GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL

chill as emperor for a while. humiliate Vader for a laugh. make death star.

Endgame achieved.

(Vader's kid blows up my death star)

PIVOT: get new young apprentice by turning him evil once he kills his dad, or maybe make Vader cooler by making him kill his gay son. either way its a win-win for me.

(thrown down hole and killed.)

PIVOT: good thing i kept those clone jars!! make new clone body to inhabit. takes time to get right. need something to do until then

build enormous fleet of big spaceships, each with their own super death star laser. keep em on the down low... why use em? they lose half the value as soon as you fly them off the lot

(clone son betrays me but its no biggie. its fine. have loads of clones at this point. whats one clone son?)

create a DECOY fascist empire. put one of my weirder clones in charge. Not giving them any of my ships though. can build his own shit. dont look at me. get a bank loan

let failed clone recruit vaders grandson (will explain why later) let those guys take over the galaxy with a different super death star. assume they built this one themselves. very cute!

GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL

(only via proxy tho. not done yet)

let(??) vaders grandson ("ben"?? ok) usurp failed clone and rule galaxy. wants to “kill the past” but whatever. can still make this work. NEED to keep this kid in the mix (will make sense when we get there)

drop the big news. Im not dead! Fortnite. awesome moment.

lead kylo ren to my base using complex scavenger hunt. puzzle knife.

tell him he’s always actually worked for me. big reveal. big moment. He's my lackey now. a little traitorous and unreliable, but this will pay off later trust me

use death star ships to take over galaxy even more

GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL

(awesome... but not enough. something missing)

let kylo ren lead clone granddaughter to home base using complex scavenger hunt. Puzzle Knife cool enough idea to do twice i think

taunt granddaughter into killing me so i can possess her un-janked body. All part of my grand scheme...

Endgame achieved. (??)

(kylo ren betrays me)

PIVOT: Possession stupid plan anyway. Instead, use ben and reys Horny Essence to make my nasty old body normal again.

throw ben in hole (grandson purpose revealed)

destroy resistance with lightning powers. shooting spaceships down with magic lightning basically a solved problem at this point.

GALAXY NOW UNDER MY CONTROL

kill the granddaughter actually. dont need her anymore. lightning powers classic for a reason.

ive got this thing in the bag as long as she doesn't bounce the lightning back at me off her fucking laser sword.

Endgame achieved.

[yellbug]

telling my cat to stop licking trash using the following bank of adventure game protagonist voice lines:

that's not for kitties

kitties can't use that

i don't think so. not for kitties, I guess.

heh... no way... that's not for kitties

huh? kitties can't use that...

kitties won't be able to use that

[havingapoemwithyou]

it's not like nikola tesla knew all of those people were going to die by Hanif Abdurraqib

[amandasmurfee]

All of my main 4 bordered prints

[aflo]

wife found out how much i spend on money

[psychodon525]

8 hours a day

[aflo]

[introspectres]

Howl's Flying Castle Cross Section (or, Califer's Relatives Pay a Visit) || [prints]

Can you find?: [ ] four star children [ ] the magic broom [ ] suliman's guitar [ ] howl's welsh rugby jersey

[jodiefosterwallace]

my relationship to the brain-eating naegleria fowleri amoeba is the exact same as Wendy Williams’ relationship to the killer

[jodiefosterwallace]

someone will ask me to go swimming with them and i’ll be like Well the amoeba.

[walterwhite58]

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

[johngreen58]

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

[peggyhill58]

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

[ycoil]

when a mommy and daddy love eachother vrry much a stork will show up and they will have an inter-species 3 way and its very horrible how your father pounds the cloaca, but if thats what god wants, who am i to argue?

[danielwaldorf]

how busy are you guys that you can't spend a few days sorting beetles?

[dorothylarouge]

[gabagoofs]

The amount of people who don’t know shemp is frankly shameful at best and offensive and a death penalty offense at worst

[trains-explosions]

they are called the three stooges why would I think there's six stooges

[dorothylarouge]

You are disgustingly ignorant