I am here to expose myself and share my ao3 bookmarks! this is mostly for myself so i can remember what these fics are. But i also would like to recommend them to anyone who's interested.
I've divided them into 3 categories and will be color coded:
super sad fics that are mostly just depressing
mostly smut lol
fics that are a mix between smutty and plot heavy (or i dont remember)
also bare in mind I do not remember exactly what a good chunk of the fics are about so I might not be accurate when categorizing them. I'm working my way back through reading my bookmarks😭
enjoy!
[This first one is locked /private but i remember really liking this one]
Talk Some Sense To Me (Kenopsia) (244206 words) by ImYourHoneyBee
Chapters: 22
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Scrambling to his knees Castiel hugs back, burying his face in Dean’s neck, breath coming in fast little pants against his skin. Dean closes his eyes and just breathes him in, barely able to believe that this is real. At any other time in his life, closing his eyes against a threat like Death would be an inexcusable lapse in his hunter’s judgement. Right now, he doesn’t give a single fuck. Death can reap him for all he cares, he’ll die knowing Cas is going to be ok. Alive.
“I will see you soon, Dean,” Death tells him, that deliberate voice of his soft enough not to intrude on the intimacy of the moment, “Raincheck on that grilled cheese.”
“Thank you,” Dean croaks, propping his chin up on Cas’s shoulder, unmindful of the tears trickling down his cheeks, “Thank you.”
After Death brings Cas and Eileen back, the four of them hit the road with Miracle, driving around the country opening decommissioned Men of Letters chapterhouses to be used by hunters while trying to give a human perspective on Jack's plan to restructure the afterlife system. Meanwhile, Dean copes with being a flustered lump of a man because somewhere along the way, Castiel learned how to flirt.
The Marriage Misconception (65047 words) by SareBear69
Chapters: 16/16
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
“Oh yeah, there might have been some small details I forgot to mention about the bond,” Gabriel teased.
“What kind of details?” Dean growled uneasily.
“Oh just the Holy Matrimony kind,” Gabriel smirked.
-
When Cas's grace is running out for the second time, the Winchester brothers enlist the help of a certain archangel to save his life. Gabriel comes up with the perfect solution: Dean and Cas bond. This seems like a great plan until Dean discovers too late what the bond really means. Gabriel informs him, much to his delight, that he is now Angel Married to Cas with no way of reversal. Little does Dean know, Gabriel is messing with him and the bond isn't a marriage at all. Cue a bunch of embarrassing misunderstandings as Dean struggles with his new "marriage" to Cas.
Someone Who's Feeling For Me (45876 words) by orphan_account
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Mature
Summary:
Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.
Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.
Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.
closer (isn't close enough) (18184 words) by fleeceframe
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
“As for your current predicament… there may be something I can do to help.” Cas looks hesitant even as he says it, casting his eyes sidelong at Dean.
Dean turns to him. “What d’you mean?”
Castiel’s lips press into a thin line, all of the jovial glint gone from his eyes. “PTSD and trauma can alter pathways and connections in your brain, in a very physical way. Because these changes are physical… it may be possible to… heal them, in a sense.”
“Heal my brain?” Dean shoots back incredulously.
or the one where they finally talk about what cas said before the empty took him
The Soul Burns Brighter Than The Sun (284680 words) by Wow_thisiswheremylifeis
Chapters: 24/24
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Explicit
Series: Part 1 of The Soul Burns
Summary:
Dean’s sitting at the kitchen table with Sam when his phone rings. Jody’s name flashes across the screen and he considers not picking up, but Sam’s there, and he’d start asking questions if he left the call alone. It’s not like Dean doesn’t want to talk to Jody, it's just that he can’t bear talking to anyone these days.
“Hi, Jody,” Sam says.
“Howdy, boys.” She greets them and begins talking about a case she’s asking them to take over. Dean doubts they will, Sam hasn’t let him pick up a gun or knife in months, not since their last hunt.
Jody’s voice cuts through the phone. “Alright, if you boys don’t wanna take the case, I’ll see if Castiel will, but I think he’s helping Claire in Colorado–”
Dean doesn’t hear a damn thing after that, and by the looks of it, Sam doesn’t either. For the first time in days, Dean opens his mouth and speaks. “Cas is alive?”
Jody’s voice is quiet on the other end. “He didn’t tell you?”
Cas is alive, and Dean is figuring out what he should do about that when they learn Cas's accidental jailbreak broke The Empty, letting out most of its occupants. Now that every villain they have ever fought is back, Team Free Will 3.0 has their work cut out for them.
The Shattered Man (90361 words) by TranquilGuardian
Chapters: 13/?
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
All Dean Winchester knows is repression. At no time in his life has he ever felt safe to explore his attraction to other men. He has all but convinced himself that it doesn't exist--that heterosexuality is the only option. But try to deny it as he might, Castiel's presence in the bunker is a mounting reminder that he will never be the man his father wanted him to be. He doesn't know how much longer he can keep the charade…or even if he wants to anymore.
Saved (210630 words) by 1YouKnowWhatILikeAboutHim1
Chapters: 32/?
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Castiel made dying for Dean Winchester look easy.
Dean knows how to die for someone. Dean knows how to lay down his life for those he cares about, to say yes in their place, to sacrifice himself in the moment to save the day. To save someone. To save Sam, Mary, John, Jack.
Cas.
And for all his knowledge about how to die, he has. While memories of the Pit remain locked in a distant corner of his mind, he’ll never forget the sacrifice he made for Sam, for the good of the world. Willingly. Happily. Dean remembers every death. How each one he welcomed if it made the difference, saved family, people. Dean Winchester would sacrifice himself ten times over for family, or the world, if it meant they would make it through in his stead. Dying for someone was easy to Dean.
But Dean Winchester didn’t know how to be saved. Not when Sam offered up his life, not when anyone else did. Dean didn’t know how to keep on living so that sacrifice wasn’t all for nothing. How in the hell is he supposed to do that? To accept that?
He doesn't.
Forget your perfect offering (81785 words) by ilovehowyouletmefall
Chapters: 8/8
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Cas was resurrected. Dean told Cas that he loves him, that he can have everything he wanted, but Cas has to stay with him. Cas promised that he would. The thing is, he didn’t realize how literal Dean was being.
Now, Cas works on rebuilding Heaven with the angels, while he builds a new life with Dean. Neither of those things are as easy as Cas would have liked.
*
“Angels have been interfering for too long,” Jack insists. “Humanity deserves some peace, and I intend to give it to them.”
“Then why did Cas go back?” Anna demands.
“That doesn’t matter,” Cas says, willing Anna to just let it go.
“Yes it does!” she argues instead.
“And Heaven deserves some peace too!” Jack continues, raising his voice. “That won’t happen if we’re getting into conflicts on Earth.”
“Then why does Cas get to go back and I don’t?”
“That’s different,” Jack says. Cas cringes.
“Why, because it’s the Winchesters?” Anna asks. “The old God is dead, why are they still the centre of the universe?”
“Because it’s Dean,” Cas says.
“And?!”
“And I love him!”
"It's still not fair. You can't set up rules and exceptions and call Heaven free."
Graceless (146997 words) by Spinsomnia
Chapters: 24/24
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Dean is addicted to Castiel's Grace. Cas is content to give him as much as he wants, and more. Both get more than they bargain for when their uneasy courtship spirals out of control.
The Holy and the Righteous (21506 words) by FriendofCarlotta
Chapters: 5/5
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Summary:
Chuck has been defeated, and Dean and Sam are finally free. Freedom is all Dean wanted, or so he thought, but life has felt like a chore lately. Might have something to do with the fact that Cas is up in Heaven and hasn’t so much as stopped by to say hello since Jack busted him out of the Empty.
Everything changes when sinkholes begin to appear all over the globe and the air is awash with whispers of a strange, powerful entity. It turns out that in rearranging the afterlife, Jack and Cas have woken something that should never have been woken. And, according to a book of prophecy in the Men of Letters library, it’s up to Dean and Cas to sort it out… together.
Should be fine, right?
a certain slant of light (30835 words) by aapicula
Chapters: 11/11
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Mature
Summary:
Cas didn’t hear his prayer.
It shouldn’t be so surprising, and Dean supposes he has no right to feel so dejected. Cas’s powers have been failing - not that Dean has asked him about it - and they’ve barely spoken in weeks. The schism between them is widening, and he can’t bring himself to bridge that gap. So Dean soldiers on as he always does, keeps his head down and his gun loaded, and focuses his attention on saving Chuck.
But when the nightmares start, Dean has no choice but to confront his own demons and face the possibility of losing the one thing he’s truly wanted.
You Belong Among The Wildflowers (94797 words) by ImYourHoneyBee
Chapters: 13/13
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Cas is gone and Dean doesn't know how to deal. Sunk deep into the worst depression he's ever been through Dean only pulls himself together when Jack comes to visit, intent on repairing his relationship with Castiel's son.
Eventually, as a result of an offhanded comment Sam makes, Dean begins to dream of a better future and becomes determined to rescue Castiel from the Empty. It's a rough go, but he's successful and Cas is back.
Fed nightmares during his time in the darkness of an angel's afterlife, Castiel doesn't believe that Dean is real. Refusing to speak or to come out of the literal closet, will Cas let Dean persuade him that he really is saved?
Be Not Afraid (136481 words) by Astra_Wards
Chapters: 23/23
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Mature
Summary:
The man was dead, and it was wrong.
A lot can happen in a day. A hunt leaves Dean broken, bleeding and clinging to life. In the days that follow, he finds his typical life of mundane monster-hunting turned on its head, as he is trailed by blue lights and radio static. To make matters worse he worries he might be becoming the very thing he's spent his life hunting.
Castiel is an angel with a mission. He needs to keep Dean alive, a task which is more difficult than he had anticipated. To rub salt in the wound, he might be falling from grace. Angels aren't meant to have
I'll Keep It Through Tomorrow (42848 words) by stratiotis
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Mature
Summary:
Dean was intimately familiar with guilt. It came along with hunting, especially when it wasn't a clean cut monster kill and innocents got involved. But this guilt was unlike anything he'd ever dealt with before.
When Cas died in the Bunker's library, an angel blade in his chest and the Mark screaming in Dean's ears, the guilt drove him into hiding. He disappeared and isolated himself like an animal secluding itself for death.
He makes a prison of nature for himself in the woods and expects to never see another soul again.
But fate has other plans, plans that include Castiel.
Into The Fire (258718 words) by NorthernSparrow
Chapters: 35/35
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Mature
Summary:
Dean accidentally kills Castiel, and is tormented by grief and guilt afterwards. Dean becomes convinced Cas still exists somehow, and that he will be resurrected; Sam's not so sure, but is determined to help his grief-stricken brother recover. Meanwhile the Darkness is eating away at Creation, and soon both brothers realize they may have to embark on their longest and strangest journey yet. This time they might not come back. Will they have to fight their last battle without Castiel?
Our Old Heroes (499275 words) by AdelaClancy
Chapters: 26/26
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
In which Amara doesn't bring back Mary, she brings back John Winchester.
Dean is uncertain what Amara's meaning is when she brings John back, and struggles with coming to terms with the new family dynamic. Sam tries harder to keep the peace than he used to, and Cas does not get along with John at all- though he tries. Testosterone is at an all-time high as these four men struggle to coexist in the hunting world with very different ideologies.
We explore just how much the brothers have changed in the ten years without their father's guidance, the trauma they still haven't resolved, and the feelings that Dean and Cas hold for one another despite the very real and new barrier that is John.
This story begins 12x01 and ends around 13x06
Heroes for Ghosts (42922 words) by pantheon_of_discord
Chapters: 7/7
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Canon-divergent from 12.08
After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.
Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.
When I'm Down On My Knees (8359 words) by Bragginballz
Chapters: 1/1
Summary: Every time Dean had been on his knees for Cas, someone's life was on the line. Every time he had gazed up at him, lips parted and eyes pleading, their relationship just grew more and more complicated.
This time, however, was different. Pleasure rushed through his veins instead of pain, his eyes shined with unshed tears that stemmed from euphoria rather than grief, his lips that were once swollen from unforgiving hits were now plump and red from rough and unyielding kisses. Being on his knees for Cas, like this, was deliciously uncomplicated.
Dean had never considered himself a worshipful man, but being on his knees in front of a flushed and wanting Cas might just be what changes his mind.
Perihelion (11610 words) by someonetoanyone
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Cas stretches out in the backseat while Dean takes up the front, and Dean’s pretty devoted to gritting his teeth until he can catch an hour or two of sleep, but sleep won’t take, and it just doesn’t take long at all for him to start shivering despite the layers.
After maybe half an hour of shivering, he hears rustling behind him, picks himself up by the elbows to peer over the back of the front bench, and sees Cas shedding clothes.
“… what are you doing?”
“I am preparing to share body heat with you,” Cas answers flatly, already out of his coat and jacket, unbuttoning his collared shirt and shrugging it off; his shoulders and arms look immense in the thin undershirt beneath.
“W-We won’t be doing that—”
A Room Of One's Own (94118 words) by NorthernSparrow
Chapters: 18/18
Rating: Explicit
All Dean wants is a little privacy. Cas doesn't understand.
Fairy Dust Is A Hell Of A Drug (9442 words) by Ethereal_Xen
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Dean and Castiel are on a case trying to solve some weird murder-suicides that seem like they're witchy. Things don't quite go as planned, landing Dean with a face full of dust that may ruin their friendship, push him to murder, or make their lives complete.
Written for #Suptober22 prompt: All For You and Promptober prompt: Fairy Dust
Coals Aglow (11444 words) by imogenbynight
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Dean looks at Castiel with a determination in his eyes that leaves no room for misunderstanding, and says, “I’m going to bed. You should come with me.”
unholy (6109 words) by casiferfans
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
“Cas, baby. We all have things we like, and I like this. There’s nothing wrong with it, please just ask me.”
“Nothing wrong with it? It’s blasphemous, Dean. Angelkind would strike me down for even fantasizing about having a human call me their God.”
“Most of the things you do to me are blasphemous, Cas. It’s not that big of a deal, it’s just a kink. We all have weird shit we like, and I wouldn’t even qualify this as weird. It’s a little… out there, but it’s fucking hot.” Dean turned his head to drag his lips over Cas’s stubbled jaw. He nipped lightly at the skin there, soothing each bite with a swipe of his tongue. “If any angel deserves that title, it’s you."
Dead Men Walking (50424 words) by BexTra
Chapters: 3/3
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
“Fuck, I can’t believe that, I can’t…you really wanted to fuck me.”
Cas doesn’t say anything and Dean glances through his fingers, just to be meet with the sight of an angel shifting in his seat, staring at him with these stupid blue eyes, but now they are…fuck, they are darker, the pupils blown and Dean’s throat is suddenly very dry. He sits upright like a lightning bolt has hit him.
“You…you still want to fuck me”, he whispers.
---
It's their last night on earth and finally Dean and Castiel allow themselves to give in to what has been between them for years now. It doesn't matter if that would complicate things between them. They're gonna die anyway, right?
Until they don't.
The Only Name On My Lips…And Elsewhere. (15750 words) by Celestial_Desiderium
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
Dean was in trouble.
After idiotically flirting with a witness to get some info on a hunt, Dean had found himself in his first real couple fight with Cas. Luckily, he had a plan—something guaranteed to prove that Cas was the only one he’d ever have eyes for.
Or, Dean buys panties with Cas’s name bedazzled on the back, and Cas tries to contain himself in the produce aisle.
Under Lock and Key (10215 words) by Trenchcoat_Paradigm
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Explicit
Summary:
He thought he was a damn genius when the inspiration struck him, noticing the glint of metal while rearranging Babys’ weapon’s arsenal. But now, with every step he took walking from the garage, the doubt started to seep in.
The sex was a fairly new dynamic to their relationship but now Dean had gotten a taste, he was hooked. There was however just one tiny little problem, Castiel’s grace surges.
It did wonders for his ego, knowing that every time they had sex Cas’s grace would become so powerful that it would blow the bunkers' power. But after one too many “electrical mishaps,” his angelic boyfriend had taken a vow of chastity, not wanting to risk damage to the bunker's electrics or anywhere else for that matter.
It's not that Cas wasn’t offering Dean enjoyment, but it’s just so much better when there are two at play. He needed to try something, anything to get Cas out of that damn trench coat and into his bed again, and hopefully, the Enochian handcuffs that sat heavily in his back pocket might be the solution to all their problems. (That's if Cas would be on board with the idea.)
Baby-Blue (33387 words) by mr_fybraghbty
Chapters: 2/2
Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)
Rating: Explicit
Series: Part 1 of Baby-Blue-verse
Summary:
He can’t handle losing Cas, and he especially can’t handle losing the ex-angel over something as stupid as him liking to dress up in pretty underwear because it makes him feel beautiful.
Dean will either never speak his mind or he will die of humiliation, and he far easier will take the former.
(TLDR: Dean Winchester and his macho-manly internalized shame struggles to accept the fact that he likes wearing panties. Cas shows him there's nothing wrong with it. Angst, some miscommunication, love, and smut ensue.)
PSA that has been given 100 times already but needs to be said again:
The reason you, gen Z queers, need to be kink positive isn't because you support those kinks. It is okay to be disgusted by them, actually.
The reason you need to support kinksters is because "these kinks are disgusting" is the framework the alt-right is using and will continue to use to outlaw you. They don't think you're any different from the guys at Pride in leather puppy suits. They think your ENTIRE EXISTENCE is sexual. They think you holding hands with someone of the same gender, or existing as a trans person at all, is the same as a straight couple playing tonsil hockey in public.
YOU ARE A FETISH TO THEM. That is all you will ever be to the alt-right. They will never see you as human. When they talk about "our children being exposed to sexual perversion" they don't mean BDSM like you think they do. They mean YOU.
The only way to preserve your own existence is to fight for the right of kink to exist, because the instant kink becomes taboo or outlawed again*, rest assured, the alt-right will become MUCH more transparent about just what they think about your existence.
When you harp on about disgusting kinks and how they need to be hidden or outlawed and how they're harmful and everyone who does them is (insert thing here), you are giving the alt-right the tools they will use to imprison you as soon as they have unchecked power to do so.
THAT is why kinksters have been part of the queer community, part of Pride, from the start. Because the only way to keep our community safe is by truly ensuring everyone has unlimited sexual autonomy so long as the activity is taking place between consenting adults. It's just like how abortion-related laws are the lynchpin for all manner of medical autonomy laws.
The queer community can't stand without kinksters and vice versa. Even if you yourself aren't a kinkster and find them disgusting, like it or not, that is just how it is.
*Sodomy was illegal in Texas until 2003 and the law is still on the books, just not allowed to be enforced thanks to Lawrence v Texas, which SCOTUS has said they have an interest in striking down
yeah yeah rainbow capitalism is bad and whatever but like. when I was a child, being pro gay was not the popular or lucrative choice. I'm happy that times have changed.
I miss rainbow capitalism. I do. I miss when it felt like public opinion was still pro gay. I understand it was always an empty gesture, but it mattered in a sense of knowing how socially acceptable being queer is. If that makes sense.
favorite thing about tumblr is having a fandom in law. no i haven't watched this show and i'm not planning to. but my moot is having fun!! look how much they love it!!! i'm supportive from the sidelines!
The first gif is what we saw in the show. The second gif is Michael and David out of character in between takes (Michael is wearing his orange jacket, which Aziraphale/Asa is not wearing in the show).
Michael and David are holding hands in between takes and I am dying...
The destruction of the entire universe and every soul in it is a truly depressing ending. Just because God replaced it with another universe that looked similar doesn't change anything - this is Job and his children all over again. Job doesn't want new children, and neither do I.
