Do not go gentle...

KJ - 32 - Reader, writer, reviewer, non-binary cryptid

[only-cat-memes]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem

[theweirdwideweb]

[mews]

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

An indictment of our healthcare system. Uber is less expensive

[tunajorts]

millennials are killing the ambulance industry

[artaline]

human: *is heating up food*

alien: why are you doing that?

human: you see i want the particles in my food to vibrate at just the right frequency

[alivesmilinggirl]

Human: *is eating ice cream*

alien: wait you forgot to make that one vibrate!

human: well, you see, not with this food

[mockiato-deactivated20200315]

This one is already vibrating at he desired frequency, but if it starts to vibrate at a higher frequency I lock it back in the cold box.

[asgardreid-deactivated20180407]

Human: *just reheated pizza in the oven*

Other human: *is eating a slice of the same pizza, but cold*

Alien: *exasperated sputtering*

[reuscaptivus]

[imsopopfly]

Simple guide:

Born before 1980: You’re gen x, why are you even worrying about this. Maybe go do some gen x things like writing articles about how much us millennials suck.

Born in the 80s or early to mid 90s: millennial

Born between like 1996 and 2000: This is the no man’s land. No one knows which generation you are from. Both will welcome you as one of their own, however.

Born in the 2000s: Gen Z

Born in the 2010s: dude you’re like 5 what are you doing on this site? people say bad words on here please leave.

[distraughtlesbian-moved]

It’s all fun and gay until you get a crush on her

[distraughtlesbian-moved]

Update: She’s my girlfriend now it’s all fun and gay again

[8bitstickmod]

Student: How do I get the sum of two numbers?

Teacher:

[keybladesoras]

Visit Original Link

#UTADA HIKARU RETURNS TO SLAY WITH A BRAND NEW SONG FOR KINGDOM HEARTS 3

[t0tsu-deactivated20201126]

I’m not crying, you’re crying 😭😭😭😭

[jenndoesnotcare]

I just left my husband alone with our two children for sixteen days. I was not worried about anything regarding the house, their food, or their wellbeing. I put all the appointments in the family calendar and my husband checked it and kept them. I literally did not worry about them. I missed them, and I was sad that they missed me, but I didn’t worry about them AT ALL. I need to impress upon you all that I missed their company, but was not worried for their welfare.

I also did no meal prep. I don’t even think I went shopping right before I left.

This is not about apples and oranges. This isn’t even about my husband. This is about the fact that this is apparently WEIRD.

Another mum at my daughter’s school is leaving for ten days. She’s taking her youngest (who is a very small baby) and leaving her husband with their two girls. She has been cooking for days preparing freezer meals. She’s panicking and deputizing her six year old to remind him how to make school lunches. AND I AM APPALLED.

A) He is definitely not helpless. (He’s a doctor or something.) What gendered bullshit. B) THAT LITTLE GIRL IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER AND HER SISTER’S WELLBEING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. C) Why is she married to this person and creating children with him if he’s this big of an idiot?

While she was laughingly recounting this, the other mums were nodding and smiling sympathetically, like oh yes, I too have my caveman at home!! Such managing required! I was the only one who was like “Dude, he’ll be fine. Literally. He will be fine.” I said it a lot. She was not convinced. She kept bringing up her older daughter. She’ll be like a little mum!

NO.

NO NO NO NO.

NO.

Straight women, don’t do this shit. It’s gross. Don’t infantilize your husbands and then expect your daughters to pick up the slack. So fucking gross. So. So. GROSS.

[fozmeadows]

The fact that so many adults think a six year old girl is more capable of learning and performing basic domestic tasks than a grown-ass man says it all, really. 

[parentheticalaside]

This stuff is so toxic and awful. I told a car full of women one time that I refused to be in another relationship until I met a man who was capable of making his own doctors’ appointments and washing the dishes. They told me I was going to die alone.

Fuck this shit. Don’t enable men’s incompetence and label it cute.

[anti-capitalistlesbianwitch]

As if expecting your husband/partner to be a capable, functional adult human is asking too much…

[ahzuri]

My husband is a stay at home dad no probs men aren’t infants. Society is weird and fucked up.

[naamahdarling]

So many men are so good and capable and entirely non-useless that it baffles me that women would tolerate the contrary for even a casual dating relationship. It’s not worth it. Hold out for someone who can hold their own.

[checkmateyourprivilege-deactiva]

2013 was five years ago let that sink in

[checkmateyourprivilege-deactiva]

[doritosandavocados]

PLOT TWIST: This was a shitpost made five years ago that we brought back in 2018 because now it’s funny in a different way.

[gahdamnpunk]

This is graphic but VERY important. I’m MF TIED of pro lifers who cannot see further than the end of their nose

[foodstimming]

View this post on Instagram

Pizza is my Valentine, unless any of y'all would like to volunteer for the position. 😳 By thehayleycakes on IG

[queenofthedorks]

Okay, but their typography game is on point. I mean it takes a lot of practice to hand letter with a chalk or a brush. Hand lettering with a piping bag is next level. 

[1979semifinalist]

WOW.

[finna-hallipinya]

I want everyone to know that Nintendo of America has a Waluigi conference room

[xtec]

this is where they decided he was uncircumcised

[cave-dvveller]

where they decided w hat

[ruinedchildhood]

[w4llhack]

You forgot the best part at the end of the article.

[chazkuangshi]

“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”

-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut

[ephemeral-lightning]

Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this

[chazkuangshi]

I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing

so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?” I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice “Hi how are you today?” She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.” I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok” So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do. “Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh” Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?

So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”

Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.

[lizardvvizard]

[perhapsarat]

there will never be another headline that comes close to comparing with this