The Wisdom of a Fool

what am I doing? Don't ask me

[thyrell]

just came up with a really good 4 word cooking horror story but idk if you guys are ready for it

[thyrell]

2 cups vanilla extract

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

[kleefkruid]

Giving this website full of autistics obsessed with ranking and categorising stuff a poll option is like giving rats one of those buttons that makes cocaine

[kleefkruid]

Turns out the button actually makes vanilla extract

[yetanothergreyjedi]

Chose

Pick me!

No, pick me!

don't pick me

frogs

if you pick this one you must reblog with a picture of your cat

evil option

Voting ended onFeb 11, 2023

[fallenangeloflight]

They have attitude

[wings-in-a-dream]

[the-unseelie-court-official]

Hello folks can you help me write a book?

Paper

Ink

Narrative

Vanilla extract

Voting ended onFeb 11, 2023

[shudder]

so unrelated but have you guys heard about what's going on in the uk? our main gas company has been breaking into homes of single mothers, the disabled and other such vunerable groups and replacing our gas meters with smart meters while we're not home through a legal loophole. so. lol

[shudder]

reminder we're allegedly about to have the worst economic crisis this year of most western countries and most of us including myself have to choose between heat, electricity and food on a daily basis. lol. Lol. Laugh out loud

[shudder]

reblogs appreciated because i feel as if im insane sometimes for the lack of mention of this shit here

[waspcup]

make a guy

head

shoulders

knees

and

toes

vanilla extract

Voting ended onFeb 11, 2023

[cmesinsworld-deactivated2023031]

cmesin

[barrymccaulkinem]

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/30/us/politics/supreme-court-historical-society-donors-justices.html

publishing between christmas and new years has to have been strategic right?

[anarchistmemedistro]

[byjove]

I like stories where a normal human child is being raised by a sinister supernatural being who is totally malevolent except when it comes to their kid. Those are so much better than the “kids are scary” changeling type horror movies.

[byjove]

Like a perfectly well-adjusted well-mannered friendly child that is like “This is my dad, Surazal. He comes out of the mirrors in dark rooms. He makes really good blood pudding but he’s bad at playing catch. Most people can’t see his corporal form but I can because he says I have special eyes.”

[byjove]

“Mom says that you can stay over but you have to promise not to leave my room between midnight and 1 am. You can play Mario Cart with me! But you have to knock on every closed door in the house before entering just because dad might be in there and if you look upon his visage without drinking the holy fruit juice, you might go crazy or something. Also dad is really excited I have a new friend and he’s going to to make hardtack and mystery stew for us! You’ll love it!”

[byjove]

In high school the kid gets a friend that is an amateur demonologist who initially befriends them in hopes of exorcizing their house but ends up becoming buddies with Surazal too because they crave parental affection.

[byjove]

Surazal stands at the end of the vast dark hallway and says “You Too Have Special Eyes, Little One. You Can See Me Without Being Taken By The Madness. Within You, I Sense Great Turmoil And Sadness. In My Younger Years, I Would Have Exploited The Sadness As Weakness In Your Very Soul. I Would Have Worn Your Skin Like A Mask And Run Through The Village Streets, Supping Blood From Every Man I Encountered. But Now I Have No Use For Woe. Perhaps You Would Like To Watch Beetlejuice In The Family Room With My Daughter While I Prepare Cupcakes. I Am Sensing You Have A Fondness for Red Velvet.”

[rotationalsymmetry]

Monsterfucking is out. Monsterparenting is in.

[fierceawakening]

Why would you hide this in the tags

[cator99]

I was so weird about lesbian sex for a long time because when I was 15 I hooked up with an older girl at bible camp and suddenly got my period during it and I was so embarassed but she didn't care so we kept going and then I suddenly got a severe nosebleed for no reason while I was on top of her kissing her and you can imagine how that went so there was my blood everywhere all over both of us and this sounds like I'm making shit up but it was insane and k i was panicking but she was like all about it so we just kept going and like it was too late, there was already blood on both of us! Like all over us. and I thought it was kind of powerful. so I let myself get blood all over the cabin. we were feverish. At first I just let my nosebleed drip on the floor and we both laughed like fuck this place yeah lets get blood everywhere. And we did. This is just what makes us girls. We had this cabin entirely to ourselves too for 3 whole nights!! They didn't check on us in there even once!!! Not even the counselors wanted to be near us- we had wanted to be alone and not participate in the religious activities so we told everyone we were sick, however the absolutely insane family who single-handedly ran the camp (the mom was rarely seen of course but the dad was this freaky cult-leader type preacher named Greg, and they had ummmm I think 15 kids or something, most of whom were adults, so they had no issue running this camp on an acreage they owned with very little outsider involvement) genuinely thought we were just posessed by demons, and in response they gave us our own cabin in order to ensure that we were kept away from the other kids there. Major oversight on their part and also sounds illegal but I could tell they were scared shitless of me (weird hair I cut and dyed myself, 3 lip piercings, septum ring, mid kandi kid phase so I had rainbow bracelets up past my elbows) and the girl (who had a jugalette tattoo and was the only black girl at the camp, I think ever)... I ended up getting banned from bible camp for other reasons... lesbian sex blood rituals aside....... (a kid saw me smoking something in a pipe and snitched, and they thought it was weed but it was so obviously just mint tea...) yeah after that I was like "was god punishing me for being a lesbian by making me bleed everywhere during sex oh god I'm going to hell forever and ever waaah" because even though I didn't believe in that shit in any real way at all I still had raging paranoia about being punished for being gay... regardless I came to the conclusion that if all that bloodshed was the price of homosexuality then I'd just have to learn to enjoy it. And I was so right for that . But yeah when I did have sex again after that I was like Ok hellooooo God where is the blood are u there God...???

[benzohoarder]

[petralemaitre]

This is your reminder to snooze Tumblr Live (Little Person -> Settings -> Dashboard).

Reblog this, then schedule it for a week from today to remind your followers.

[amithedevil]

from the comments:

[disasterpigeon]

Ok so today I was on the bus with another trans guy and we were talking about how hard it is to get testosterone. The waiting lists, the price, all the doctors you have to go to, that kind of stuff. Except, we were calling it ’T’, like you do when you’re both closeted and in public.

Then suddenly the elderly lady sitting behind us was like ‘young men, either I’m going crazy or you both have never heard of supermarkets, they have shelves full of tea there! Do you need directions to one?’

To which my buddy starts to explain, because why not. ‘Well you see, we’re both trans, and… ’

The lady didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence. ‘Oh no, I don’t mind that at all! Now do you want to know how to get to a place that sells tea? I’m actually heading there right now!’

We let her take us to the supermarket. We let her show us, excitedly, where the tea was. We both bought loads.

[incorrect-mikeyway-quotes]

This is beautiful

[cerulean-beekeeper-deactivated2]

Confused elderly lady doesn’t care if you’re trans or not.  She just wants to make sure you’re stocked up on tea.  

[916gawd-deactivated20190411]

Reblog if you think public libraries are important and should be maintained.

[unbotheredmuse]

[commandtower-solring-go]

So I started doing this with some candles my sister gave me, and y'know what happened?

Because I used the candle, realised how much I liked my house smelling nice. So, i did more to fill my house with nice smelling stuff. I bought reed defusers, I bought flowers (which I stopped doing cause they smell quickly), I cared more about making sure my bins were empty and my sink was clear. I also developed more of a sense for what smells I did like. Like, I prefer woody smells. Incense and sandlewood.

And I realised how nice my house looked when it was clean. So I made more of an effort to clean my house. And cleaning never felt like a chore because I only cleaned when I wanted to.

And because I was cleaning my house more, I made decisions that helped to keep the house clean more often. I found homes for the loose things that never had a home before. I started remembering where things were because they were usually in their homes. I found or bought things to put things in.

It was hard because I'm not good at it, but slowly I developed those skills and got better at it. I realised how little pride I had had in my own home, and sought out new reasons to be proud. I bought things to put on my walls. I just bought myself a rug this week. I might even invite people over.

Anyway, just saying that maybe enjoying the small, fleeting things, is more important than we expect.

[mlarayoukai-archive]

Get asked. Idiot

Get answered. Idiot

[mlarayoukai-archive]

Get screenshotted. Idiot

[leafgreen6]

Get reblogged. Idiot

[secondimpact]

Get peer reviewed. Idiot.

[leonardburton]

[image description:

1. a screenshot of a reply that reads "Get replied. Idiot"

2. a screenshot of tumblr tags reading "#get tagged #idiot"/ end ID]

get image described. idiot

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

get polled.

idiot.

idiot.

Voting ended onJan 30, 2023

[dkpsyhog]

^Get unsupported contented. Idiot

[comradeyaoi]

im not even joking rn this fucking painting made me start uncontrollably sobbing. Do you know how long it took to paint? How expensive it was? The cat was content for hours and so loved that the girl held him there and paid for him to be painted with her. Imagine having such a bond… imagine being so loved and loving so much back…

[comradeyaoi]

Apparently this is almost a genre of painting. Its human nature to love and cradle cats …. And the bond these cats and their people have. To sit together for hours to get a painting to attempt to immortalize the love you two shared

[die-rosastrasse]

Let me show you these charming paintings by a French artist Léon Comerre! I like to think these ladies were like "me and my kitty look so cute together, we must get a portrait made of us so that everyone knows how we love each other" 💕

(Also, having matching ribbons with your cat is the loveliest idea ever 🎀)

[english-history-trip]

Meanwhile, I'm a fan of this Gainsborough, where, if you squint, you can see the outline of a furious cat who was not about to be in this portrait:

[blazeball]

if you don't vote cecil you are dead to me. sans wouldn't even want to be a sexyman. he's won enough he doesn't want the spotlight anymore. but cecil. wants this so bad. he is on his radio show like. "listeners... i don't know if you know this, but i'm a bit, internet famous right now. yeah. i'm a bit of a cool kid. i'm actually up against a skeleton in a sexy contest. i know its gonna be a hard choice, but i have faith in the town of night vale to vote correctly, like we all do under threat of immense violence every mayoral election! (vote for me. that's what i'm saying. in case you thought i was on the skeletons side here. as if!)" like come on. COME ON. HE DESERVES THIS