The Drizzle Of Castamere

Student by occupation. Collegiate rower (I follow back all rowing blogs). Nerd by birth. Drum corps enthusiast. Valar morghulis.Talk nerdy to me (or rowing, I could talk for hours about rowing)

[tillslindemann]

tobias forge on “ttt” healing our religious trauma. (x)

[thesuperheroesnetwork]

so my boyfriend doesn't know a lot about lord of the rings and was asking why it was so hard to destroy the ring and I said it corrupted the ringbearers and made them evil and even proximity to the ring can turn you evil as it did briefly with boromir and after some careful thought he decided that the nine members of the fellowship should each have a super long string attached to the ring and they could drag it behind them from really far so it won't affect them and make Legolas always watch it with his elf eyes to make sure it's okay back there and like ... that might work??? Did he solve it??? I'm so mad.

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

[dreaming-shark]

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

[ailithnight]

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

[chequerootlurks]

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

[thatdisasterauthor]

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

[swindle94]

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

[fromchaostocosmos]

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

[terulakimban]

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna. 

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted. 

[midrashic]

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

[thejorie-deactivated20160327]

My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

[pebleeee-deactivated20151227]

do they smoke weed?

[thejorie-deactivated20160327]

Yes, actually.

[gucciballs-deactivated20200720]

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?

[thejorie-deactivated20160327]

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

[gccgrimm-deactivated20160818]

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

[thejorie-deactivated20160327]

Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

[madamekagamine]

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

[thejorie-deactivated20160327]

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

[19leahjade96]

Well that escalated quickly……

[thejorie-deactivated20160327]

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

[jackaxed]

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

[thejorie-deactivated20160327]

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

[anemonequeen-moved]

this dude playin omg 

[thejorie-deactivated20160327]

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

[anemonequeen-moved]

happy 4/20

[demo]

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aliquam nisi lorem, pulvinar id, commodo feugiat, vehicula et, mauris. Aliquam mattis porta urna. Maecenas dui neque, rhoncus sed, vehicula vitae, auctor at, nisi. Aenean id massa ut lacus molestie porta. Curabitur sit amet quam id libero suscipit venenatis.

[scallioncreamcheesebagel]

this is the oldest post on all of tumblr, posted in october 2006 before the website even launched publicly in 2007.

[adobe-outdesign]

[prokopetz]

Being on Tumblr is less a matter of “why?” and more a matter of “what exactly is the alternative?”. Like, Twitter is a glorified advertising platform, Reddit manages to capture all the vices of Web 1.0 forum culture and absolutely none of its virtues, Facebook is fundamentally hostile to human life, and Pinterest is a digital scrapbooking service wearing a social media app as a hat. What’s left?

[weaver-z]

If you ever, and I mean EVER think that you fucked something up royally, remember that the organizers of the 1904 Olympic marathon:

- Had zero stations for water on the 26 mile (42 km) course

- Accidentally gave North American competitor Tom Hicks a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy, and actual fucking rat poison

- Had a guy come into the race late wearing a beret and cutoff slacks, sneak into an apple orchard during the race because no food had been given to him for 40 hours, eat rotten apples, projectile vomit onto the track, fall asleep for hours, and finish in fourth place OVERALL because most of the other runners collapsed of exhaustion or injuries

- Conducted the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that an American runner somehow inhaled enough to tear his STOMACH LINING open

- Accidentally released feral dogs onto the track

- Fucked the other competitors up SO BADLY that Tom Hicks—the guy who ate RAT POISON and was HALLUCINATING the entire run—came in first place

[postmarxed]

[nullconvention]

this is an anime convention

[oysters-aint-for-me]

[unpretty]

i turned on the light in the dining room but Tubby had been sleeping in a chair and it woke her up and she was Not Pleased

[unpretty]

[unpretty]

yes

however we recently got her a new ceramic fountain that better suits her aesthetic

and her own fainting couch

but she still prefers a good lap whenever possible

[flawlessglamazon]

[burning-mind]

@unpretty what is Ms. Tubby’s full name if it is not Tubby?

[unpretty]

Tubbitha

[royallyanxious]

reblog for  Tubbitha

[maxheimer-feral]

a princess.

[solitarelee]

It’s so fucking weird to see Tubby on my dash from just like a random unrelated blog I follow. That’s just my best friends’ cat. I commissioned a plate painted with her likeness.

[cheshireelims]

I need this movie in my life now.

[ashleybenlove]

This would make an amazing ask game, y’all. Someone put a movie/show into your ask and you play keep the human and cast the Muppets. 

[thyladestiel]

[hamtastrophe]

it’s sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there’s no non-fucked up part of rasputin’s existence

[bigthecat]

did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia’s greatest love machine

[the-itchy-bitchy-spider]

basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he’s a prophet or a saint because he’s got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia’s queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son’s haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, ‘cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now  (allegedly) belongs to. 

then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, because all of russia is slutshaming the queen he has too much power over the royal family and it’s helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is magically unaffected by poison they get the dose wrong and he doesn’t die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn’t die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn’t looking, and he doesn’t die, but they think he’s dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he’s gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn’t die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn’t go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this…. he died…. of hypothermia.

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.

[theawkwardqueerturtle]

op was right. there’s no non-fucked up part of this dude’s existence. even his second funeral was fucked

[resonance-of-libra]

This is the Lucky Ace. Reblog to recieve a wad of cash that is oddly specific to your current needs.

[jukaidream]

I reblogged this shit two days ago y’all… what kinda sorcery is this. Oddly specific too …. I’ll take it tho 🤯

[thisisasinkingship]

I think I did it wrong

[comic-girl2234-deactivated20240]

Uh I reblogged this like 3 days ago and I start my new job on Monday??? Like idk how you accidentally find a job but I did.

[caprifreak]

I need to get paid asap so pls ace help

[caprifreak]

I GOT PAID I GOT PAID!!!!!! MUCH MORE THAN I EXPECTED AAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU ACE

[musinvenusian]

I legit have a specific amount i want in my head rn it better come true 😭

[riyerose]

I ALSO HAVE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF MONEY I WOULD LIKE TO ACQUIRE, PLEASE HELP

[autumn-new-moon]

This has worked before, so why not again?

[witchling-guidence]

I could really use a miracle. So why not

[acewithdnd]

im super broke let’s see some magic people.

[notallmensheviks]

catholic pez

[rat-mama]

[mitski-miyawakis]

[shoelace-and-friends]

[spacecrygirl]

[notallmensheviks]

good work everyone

[kaijutegu]

everyone stop what you’re doing and look at this baby pelican

[kaijutegu]

[kaijutegu]

his power grows

[kaijutegu]

please… he’s getting too strong…

[kaijutegu]

please… stop… i beg of you…

[resonance-of-libra]

This is the Lucky Ace. Reblog to recieve a wad of cash that is oddly specific to your current needs.

[jukaidream]

I reblogged this shit two days ago y’all… what kinda sorcery is this. Oddly specific too …. I’ll take it tho 🤯

[thisisasinkingship]

I think I did it wrong

[comic-girl2234-deactivated20240]

Uh I reblogged this like 3 days ago and I start my new job on Monday??? Like idk how you accidentally find a job but I did.

[caprifreak]

I need to get paid asap so pls ace help

[caprifreak]

I GOT PAID I GOT PAID!!!!!! MUCH MORE THAN I EXPECTED AAAAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU ACE

[musinvenusian]

I legit have a specific amount i want in my head rn it better come true 😭

[riyerose]

I ALSO HAVE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF MONEY I WOULD LIKE TO ACQUIRE, PLEASE HELP

[setaflow]

Good things that come from being on Tumblr for 5+ years:

By this point, you’ve either found a blog theme that you like or you’ve completely resigned yourselves to the default themes. Either way, you no longer care about your blog theme and that’s the way it should be.

You constantly gain a new appreciation for the, like, five followers that have followed you since the beginning.

You have a never-ending library of memes in your blog’s archives

If you ever need a pick-me-up, you can go back into the depths of your blog and find old content that you never thought you’d see again.

You probably never reblog unsourced/reposted art because you’ve been on Tumblr long enough to remember the original post in the first place.

A great appreciation for the updates that actually made the site work better (putting the reblog button at the bottom of the page, for instance)

A complete apathy to any sort of drama that this site devolves into.

You’ve probably discovered XKit by now and are grateful every day of your life.

You’ve seen and/or participated in some of the greatest events on this website, for better or worse (Mishapocalypse, the “reblog this if you’re in _______ fandom” posts, “What color is the sky?”, DashCon and the immediate fallout)

Bad things that come from being on Tumblr for 5+ years:

Different day, different discourse.

You’ve slowly watched people that you’ve followed for years go through eighty blog changes and that cool SuperWhoLock blog you once liked is now a belly-button fetish blog and you have to wonder where it all went wrong.

“Guys we literally settled this argument like two years ago why the fuck are we doing this all over again”

Living long enough to see people’s opinions on groups, events, and identities completely flip flop in the course of a couple of years.

Your block list is a mile long and full of porn blogs

Going from thinking that Tumblr was the best website ever to an old, jaded veteran who just wants to post memes is a very hardcore slide and it’s given me whiplash

Posts that you really used to like were deleted a long time ago back before deactivation was a thing.

Being 18+ years old on this site and knowing that the opinions of most of the users basically boil down to what minors think is social justice but really isn’t. Their hearts are in the right place…but… well, they’ve got a ways to go.

Out of the blue, someone will message you about why you don’t post about certain shows anymore and you don’t have the heart to tell them that you haven’t tuned into that show in 4 years.

I hate this website let me drink and leave me be.

[five-rivers]

I know virtually nothing about the Legend of Korra, but I heard that Avatar Korra was raised in a top secret, highly secure, White Lotus compound, and I like to imagine that if Zuko ever heard those words together in a single sentence he would immediately teleport himself to said compound and kidnap take Avatar Korra on a life changing field trip.  

White Lotus Guy:  So, due to reasons, Avatar Korra is being raised in a top secret, highly secure compound, the location of which is known only to the most trustworthy members of the White Lotus and Avatar Korra’s parents.  We’re giving you a heads up since you’re a world leader.

Zuko:  Cool.  So when do you want me to break in?

WLG:  Uh.  What?

Zuko:  When do you want me to break in?  Like, I don’t want disrupt any of your plans.

WLG:  Never.  We never want you to break in.  We don’t want anyone to break in.  That’s the point.

Zuko:  Okay, gotcha.  

*after WLG leaves*

Zuko:  So, they want it to be a surprise.

[thenerdycupcake]

Katara would totally help him in.

[five-rivers]

Katara: Look, you broke into the Sun Warrior temple with Aang, and the Boiling Rock with Sokka. It’s my turn to break into somewhere with you.

Zuko: … the Southern Raiders?

Katara: Zuko, that was a boat. Doesn’t count.

Zuko: Okay. I feel like I’m forgetting something important, though.

*hundreds of miles away*

Toph: My field trip sense is tingling.

[theavengers]

[krusca]

#THIS SCENE IS SO GOOD#it’s one of those low key displays that tony pays attention to people#he not only knows happy’s favorite show#he knows when it’s on and why happy likes it#he knows happy has a thing for badges#AND HIS PROBABLY KEEPING A WHOLE SECURITY TEAM OUTSIDE THOSE DOORS#TONY LOOKING AFTER HIS FRIEND AW#also everything about his body language Kills Me#he’s trying so hard to look chill hiS VOICE IS SO TIGHT gosh#i waited my whole life for this gifset (via @knightinironarmor)