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@wistfulcynic
every day i get emails, screenshot them and save them to my photos because they are from ao3 and they make me want to hug strangers through the internet
Omg. I just finished "there is no heart for me like yours". I was giggling, kicking my feet, screaming, laughing, crying and so so full of love that it was almost unreal. Jesus, i just love this story, how you put the canons into the story, their daily life was so so sweet. This story is one of my favourite, and believe me, I've read way too many Hollanov fanfic, but this one? This one is on my top 3. I just came here to say i love you, and your writing, and your brain, and all of you. I could kiss you in the mouth if i could. Thank you for writing it ✨✨
thank you!! i’m so glad you enjoyed it. That fic was such a joy to write it thrills me endlessly to hear how much people are enjoying reading it ❤️
ao3 doesn’t like me either. Had to track you down to tell you how much I adored reading There is no heart for me like yours. Thank you thank you thank you! I loved reading how a confident Shane handed the Metros their asses. Loved watching his confidence grow because he had his Ilya from the very start. And watching Ilya lean into his softness right away because he had his Shane from the start. Just beautiful. And I liked the character Jenny. Sure she was creepy and crossed boundaries but she helped them in the end. What a sweet gentle satisfying read. Thank you for sharing your talent with us!
thank you so much!! you get it!!
i'd intended to say in the author's notes but forgot, that i wanted to write this fic because it's always bothered me a bit when people say they've "been together" for so long. They haven't. They had two hookups, two years of sporadic texts, sex, ghosting, sad sex, then two years of hooking up. That's not "together," i'm sorry but it's just not. i wanted to write a fic in which they actually were together the whole time.
i think it's telling how much and how deeply this premise resonates with so many people, actually.
thanks again ❤️
Daughter-Finding Day
surprise! i really intended to take a break from this verse but there is no heart for me like yours just surpassed half a million freaking hits which is insane and deserving of celebration. Have a soft and sappy puppy fic you absolute lunatics.
credit to @jmuabb for the "anya adoption day" request in the expanded universe.
LINK
Late June 2019
It had been a very long day.
Daughter-Finding Day, Ilya had christened it that morning. The day they went out in search of their dog. Which he had decided in advance would be a girl.
“What if you fall in love with one and it’s a boy?” Shane asked him as they got in the car.
“Then it will be Son-Finding Day,” said Ilya, in a tone that suggested this conclusion should be obvious. “But this will not happen. Our baby is a girl, I feel it.”
Shane just shook his head.
Ilya had a list of five animal shelters in the Quebec City area and a detailed plan of attack based on Google reviews, proximity to their house, and to what extent the shelter specialised in dogs. Shane was immensely proud when he saw it, and not a little bit turned on. What Ilya hadn’t planned for—what neither of them had—was not finding her. Or even him. At any of the shelters on the list.
Shane and Ilya both were exhausted by the time they pulled into the parking lot of the final shelter on their list, this one in a rural community south of the St Lawrence. Exhausted in body but also in spirit. This place was literally their last resort. Shane could see the frustration and disappointment on Ilya’s face and in the set of his shoulders, when he’d been so happy as they’d left the house that morning.
He took Ilya’s hand in both of his and kissed the back of his knuckles. “Don’t worry, baby,” he said. “We’ll find her. Maybe not today, but shelters get new dogs all the time. We’ll keep looking.”
Ilya nodded and attempted a smile. “I wish we could take all the ones we met but none of them were the right one. I don’t know why, but—”
“You’ll know her when you see her,” Shane finished for him. “That’s what you said, right?”
“Yes. I will feel it.”
“Okay, then. We’ll keep looking until you do.”
Ilya tugged him closer by their joined hands and leaned across the gearshift to kiss him. “I love you.”
“I love you.” Shane rested their foreheads together for a beat. “Let’s go find our dog.”
They didn’t find her at the final shelter.
Ilya was drooping as they drove away, mouth and shoulders and eyebrows drawn together. “I had such a good feeling about today,” he said, staring moodily out the window as the countryside went by. “I felt like she was out there, waiting for us to find her. I felt—stop!”
“What?”
“Shane!” Ilya grabbed his arm, with his other hand pointing emphatically at something just beyond his window. “Shane, stop the car!”
Hello!! AO3 hates me and won’t let me leave a comment in the last chapter but I wanted to let you know that I started reading “there is no heart for me like yours” a Tuesday afternoon. I went to sleep at 2am and woke up at 4am because I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Then I faked a doctors appointment so I can keep reading this instead of going to work and then it was so good that I ended up calling in sick 😂! I don’t regret one thing! This might be one of the best Hollanov fics I’ve read and I have read a bunch in these past couple of months! I loved this so much that I will learn bookbinding so I can make a physical copy of this (with your permission) because I can’t get enough. I loved every single paragraph! I was laughing, crying, hurting and cheering for our boys through every single chapter. Also #fuckyoubryan!! Thank you so much for this beautiful gift. I can’t wait to read anything else you’ll share with us! Thank you thank you thank you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
that is amazing you may be a little insane but i love it!! thank you!! also yes i would love to see the behemoth book-bound, if you or anyone with that skill set takes a fancy to it please, you have my enthusiastic support.
fyi (for everyone) right now i am working on a little addition to the further adventures collection and also a new fic in which ilya appears as a fir tree
(he’s pining, you see)
watch this space
i just finished reading 'there is no heart for me like yours' and i wanted to come here and say thank you! you managed to balance some truly heart-wrenching angst (cry tally hit 4 and i am NOT a crier) with some amazingly funny and lighthearted comedic moments. the chapters from your OCs perspectives (Emily's, Jenny's, B+B (#fuckyoubryan) are so unique and such a fun shift. the 'montage chapters' really move the story along without feeling rushed, and the QC team plotline worked out way better than i expected (i really love the centaurs, sorry i ever doubted you queen)! in terms of follow-ups/sequels i'd love to see more of the owls first season! maybe a oneshot of when shane and ilya get anya? or shane and ilya hanging at the kingfisher with the NY gang (scott, kip, eric, kyle, elena, sean, maria, etc)? xoxo!
thank you! i think there will be more owls definitely, as i love them too. (There will also be more rainy day shane since that’s been a frequent request from others!) i’ll have to think about bringing scott in some more and actually anya adoption day is tickling my brain a bit so that is def a possibility too.
thanks so much for the suggestions!
stumbled across your blog recently and just wanted to say it's fantastic. i'm starting a CELTA soon and having this connection between fandom literature and my soon-to-be professional experience (assuming all goes well) is wonderful. thank you!!
ooh, amazing! i wish you the very best of luck. CELTA is hard but it's hands down the best entry-level qualification you can get, you will be well prepared to teach when you're done. You didn't ask for advice but i will offer some anyway, here it is:
do allll the reading
pay close attention to all the different teaching methods you learn and particularly to what situations / topics / approaches they work best with. Lots of teachers have their pet style that they always use but i have found that i use all the methods and it just depends on the students and the situation. So it's good to have an arsenal of approaches
remember that students are never judging you as much as you'll feel like they are (unless they are swiss. Ngl the swiss might be judging you). Teaching adults is very different to teaching kids, it's not really a teacher/student relationship. It's more of a client/consultant one, though even that doesn't really cover it. You're not really an authority figure but you are expected to be an authority on the language and some people find that stressful. The number one thing you should NEVER do in a classroom is make something up. If you don't know an answer it's 100% okay to say so, to tell them you'll consult your colleagues and get back to them, or to turn it into a learning opportunity. My favourite approach is to say, "What an interesting question! Let's find out!" then look it up together. If you're honest with students and meet them where they're at, they will respect and learn from you
resist the urge to be gentle. This one is big. idk your background ofc but as someone raised in the USA i started out teaching trying to boost everyone's self-esteem, sometimes to the detriment of their learning. What i learned by doing that is that most students don't like it. They want correction. They want you to interrupt them whenever they make a grammar error (don't do this--there's a time and place for error correction, you'll learn about that on the CELTA). What they want most is correction that is specific, detailed, and replicable. They don't just want to know that they said something wrong they want to know why it's wrong and what would be right and how they can avoid the error in the future. If you're a native speaker of english this means you will have to learn a lot about your own language in order to provide this kind of guidance. It's not enough to say "i know this is wrong because it sounds wrong to me, a native speaker." You'll need to offer more than that. If you're a non-native speaker you can carry over your own experiences learning english into your classroom BUT remember that native language has a huge influence on learning as does the method of instruction. Different countries have VERY different approaches to language teaching and that will affect the way the students you see are comfortable learning. So what worked for you might work for them but it won't necessarily.
there is zero possibility of learning everything you will ever need in a four week CELTA course. You'll learn a lot but most of your professional development will be on the job. Most language schools throw newly qualified teachers right into the classroom in a sort of sink-or-swim approach BUT most of them also have senior teachers whose job is to guide you, absolutely make use of them and their knowledge. They are an invaluable resource and like all english teachers love to yammer about their experiences and profession (self-own, saira)(lol).
i genuinely love this job and i hope you do too. i can't lie, i am offensively underpaid, and i earn near the top of what it's possible to make in this field. It is not a career you'll get rich doing but it's a great way to travel and meet people from all over the world and learn about different cultures, languages, ways of life. i think over the past 20 years i have taught or worked with people from more than 150 countries, every continent except antarctica. i have former students who were able to get better jobs, get education, improve their lives in measurable ways because i helped them develop a skill they needed. It is immensely rewarding.
please do drop into my inbox again if you want to ask anything!
Just finished There is no heart for me like yours and wanted to drop a note here to say how much I’ve enjoyed reading it because AO3 is convinced my comments are spam 🙄 It’s so well paced - excellent plot! I’ve loved all your characters but your Shane and Ilya have had a gentleness balanced with an authentic humour towards each other to keep the dynamic and I have loved how, throughout the story, they have been a team trusting in each other. It’s been beautiful!
I’m sad it’s over but saving it on my kindle for a re-read ❤️ Look forward to seeing what else you write.
thank you for coming here to say that! i appreciate it so much ❤️
It's end of May, yall know what that means
there is no heart for me like yours, now complete
Ilya Rozanov has been drafted by Boston, the number one pick overall, but his father doesn't want him moving to America and so takes steps to block his visa. He's going to have to go back to Russia and stay there forever and that, thinks Shane Hollander, is wrong.
It's so wrong that Shane can't stop himself from doing something about it. Even though that something is the most reckless, the only reckless thing he's ever done in his life. He marries Rozanov in secret, to keep him out of Russia and put him on a path to Canadian citizenship.
Shane's got a five-year plan to get him there and when you have a plan nothing can go wrong. Right? Right. When you have a solid plan and a marriage that's on paper only there's no risk of feelings getting involved. Not on Rozanov's part and certainly not on Shane's.
Right???
(or, the story of how Shane Hollander fell in love with his own husband)
LINK
“Look at all of these fucking assholes playing on my team now,” Rozanov crowed as he surveyed the room. “Some of them I really fucking hate.”
“You’ll get over it,” Hollander said.
“Somebody will,” Rozanov agreed. “They will also get over hating each other, since they all wanted so fucking badly to be here. They will not hold grudges. There will be no grudge-holding on my team, Hollander.”
No one seemed quite certain how to respond to that, then a voice from the back of the room piped up. “Rozy, you prick, you plan to say that to our fucking faces or just whine to your husband behind our backs?”
Rozanov turned a terrifying, delighted grin on the man who’d spoken. Borgen, Jace thought. Defenseman from Vancouver who bore more than a passing resemblance to the Mountain from Game of Thrones.
“I would always rather speak to my husband than to your fucking face, Borgy,” Rozanov said. “But since you ask, yes.” He clapped his hands together. “Every asshole in this room listen up. And yes, that is all of you.” The grin was gone, in its place a look that every one of them had seen on Roz’s face before, on the ice right before he fucking demolished them. “This team you play for now will be unlike any you have ever been on, and not just because your captains sleep together.”
Hollander rolled his eyes but he said nothing. Neither did anyone else. Jace glanced around but none of the other players were reacting to Rozanov’s words in any way.
The scowl that formed on Rozanov's face encompassed them all. “That was a joke, dickheads,” he said sternly. “First rule of being on this team is you all fucking laugh at my jokes. Will not be hard, they are always very funny.”
“If it helps you can laugh at him not with him,” Hollander said, and that startled genuine laughs from Jace and most of the rest of the team. Rozanov sighed dramatically, but Jace’s keen eye spotted fond amusement in the glance he shot at Hollander.
“This team will be different,” Roz took up his speech again, “not because Hollander and I fuck but because we do not fuck around. We are the best and we expect you all to meet our very high standards. We have chosen you specifically for reasons that are very clever and calculated and if you want to know what they are please come to me so I can have the pleasure of explaining what goes on inside Hollander’s head. You will regret you ever asked.”
Possible explanations for the forever babyface I have:
-I dont drink much, I dont smoke
-I moisturize, wear sunscreen
-the hysterectomy reduced my stress by a lot so now there's less cortisol in my everywhere.
-Keanu Reeves bit me once.
-I eat foods with a variety of fats and oils.
-my very active job requires me to hydrate regularly.
-made a pact with the devil once while I was sleepwalking.
-not worrying about wrinkles means I don't get them as much
-theres a painting of me in an attic somewhere thats rapidly aging.
-no one really knows what 40 year olds are supposed to look like because TV keeps casting 30 year old to play teens.
happy glorious 25th of may to those who celebrate and also those who don’t, for the glorious 25th of may is for All Of Us
happy glorious 25th of may
Tracy Chapman 1999