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Love Begins
DEAR READER

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if i look back, i am lost
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@witchcraftonabudget
The lovers, the dreamers and me:
Ochlodes sylvanus🦋
⋆₊⟡⋆🕸️⊹˚₊‧
reblog if you support:
• pre- or non-hrt trans people
• genderfluid/non-binary people who want hrt
• genderfluid/non-binary people who don't want hrt
• pre- or non-op trans people
• tall transfems
• short transmascs
• fat/plus size trans people
• fem trans men
• masc trans women
• transmascs who don't/can't/won't bind
• transfems who don't/can't/won't tuck
• transfems with wide shoulders
• transmascs with wide hips
• genderfluid/non-binary people with facial hair or tits
• genderfluid people whose presentation is static but their gender is not
• non-binary people whose desired presentation is how society says their agab should present
• transmascs who bind but still have a visible chest
• non- conventionally-attractive trans people
• non-conforming trans people
• non-"passing" trans people
• non-stereotypical trans people
We don't all fit into cisnormative society's bullshit stereotypes!
I'm trying to prove a point to some transphobic relatives. Back me up tumblr.
Hades Deity Guide
Who is Hades?
Known by many names, Hades is the Greek god who reigns over the Underworld. Some say he was duped or swindled by his brothers or simply lost a drawing of lots when it came to choosing their domains. He is the husband of Persephone and ruler of funerary rites.
Parents and Siblings
Kronus (father)
Rhea (mother)
Zeus (brother)
Poseidon (brother)
Demeter (sister)
Hera (sister)
Hestia (sister)
Lovers or Partners
Persephone (Wife)
Minthe (lover before Persephone)
Leuce (lover before Persephone)
There was also a mortal woman who claimed that Hades was in love with her, some say her name was Theophile (which means “one who loves god”)
Children
Though it varies by storyteller whether or not Hades is their father, these beings have been said to be his offspring:
Zagreus (son)
Macaria (daughter)
Melinoe (daughter)
The Erinyes: Alecto, Megaera, and Tisiphone (daughters)
the mothers of these beings are up for debate as well.
Epithets
Aïdes (“the Unseen”)
Pluto or Pluton (“the Wealthy One” or “the Giver of Wealth”)
Clymenus (“the Renowned”)
Eubouleus (“Good Counsellor”)
Chthonios “chthonian Zeus”)
In Greek:
Adesius, his name in Latium. It is expressive of the grace.
Agelastus, from his melancholy countenance.
Agesilaus, expressive of his attracting all people to his empire.
Agetes or Hegetes, a name assigned to him by Pindar, as to one who conducts.
Aidoneos, this name is probably derived from Hades' having been sometimes confounded with a king of this name among the Molossi, whose daughter Persephone, Theseus and Pirithous attempted to carry off.
Axiocersus, or the shorn god, a name of Pluto in the mysteries of the Cabiri: he was there represented as without hair.
Iao, his name at Clares, a town of Ionia.
Moiragetes, his name as guide of the Fates.
Ophieus, his name as the blind god among the Messenians: it was derived from their dedicating certain Augurs to him, whom they deprived of sight at the moment of their birth.
In Latin or Etruscan:
Altor, from alo, to nourish.
Februus, from Februa, signifying the sacrifices and purifications adopted in funeral rites.
Feralis Deus, the dismal or cruel god.
Lactum, his name among the Sarmatians.
Larthy Tytiral, sovereign of Tartarus, his name in Etruria.
Mantus or Manus, the diminutive of Summanus, an Etruscan epithet.
Niger Deus, black god, his epithet as the god of the Infernal Regions.
Opertus, the concealed.
Postulio, a name assigned to him by Varro, under which he was worshipped on the shores of the lake Curtius, from the circumstance of the earth's having opened at that spot, and of the Aruspices having presumed that the King of Death thus asked for (postula, I ask,) sacrifices.
Profundus Jupiter, deep or lower Jove, from his being sovereign of the deep, or infernal regions.
Quietalis, from quies, rest.
Rusor, because all things return eventually to the earth.
Salutaris Divus, a name assigned to him when he restored the dead to life.
Saturnius, from his father Saturn.
Soranus, his name among the Sabines, in the temple dedicated to him on Mount Soracte.
Stygius, from the river Styx.
Summanus, from summus manium, prince of the dead.
Tellumo, a name derived from those treasures which Pluto possesses in the recesses of the earth. Tellumo denotes (according to Varro) the creative power of the earth, in opposition to Tellus the productive.
Uragus, expressive of bis power over fire.
Urgus, from urgeo, to impel.
In Egypt:
Amenthes, a name of Pluto among the Egyptians. Plutarch informs us, that the word Amenthes has a reference to the doctrines of the metempsychosis, and signifies the "place which gives and receives";' on the belief that some vast gulf was assigned as a receptacle to the souls, which were about to animate new bodies.
(Thank you to Wikipedia for compiling most of this list of these epithets)
Notes
The Underworld often bares his name, also being called Hades. Though it is also referred to as “the house of Hades” or Tartarus
Hades also oversaw the judgment of souls after death, though he was not usually a judge himself. The three judges of the dead are Rhadamanthys, Minos, and Aeacus.
Similar to Thanatos, Hades is often depicted as cold or stoic and did not often get involved with mortal affairs. Despite this, he and the Underworld were treated with respect and honor, often receiving sacrifices and kind epithets.
As some of the above epithets suggest, Hades is also seen as a god that reigns over wealth and fertility.
Hades was mentioned often in mythos but rarely appeared himself.
Perhaps his most popular myth is the Abduction of Persephone.
Hades was considered by some to be infertile and unable to produce offspring
I have to mention Cerberus, Hades’ three-headed dog that guarded the Underworld.
According to Aphrodite in one myth, Cerberus is particularly fond of cake.
Hades is mentioned multiple times in the original Greek text of the Bible as the realm of the dead, this was translated into “hell”.
Modern Deity Work
As always, traditional or historical correspondences will be marked with a (T)
Correspondences
Rocks/Stone/Crystals
Obsidian
Jet
Garnet
Sapphire
Herbs/Plants
White Poplar (T)
Pomegranate (T)
Cypress
Mint (T)
Black Narcissus
Basil
Animals
Dogs
Sheep
Cattle
Screech owl
Horse
Serpent
Symbols
Cornucopia (T)
Chariot (T)
Key
Horn of Plenty/drinking horn (T)
Offerings
Bones
items or imagery of the items listed about
Coins (T)
Wine or other alcoholic beverages (T)
Olive oil (T)
Imagery/symbols of his wife, Persephone
Acts of Devotion
Research him and Persephone
Clean up cemeteries (with permission!)
Spirit work
Create art/songs/poems for him
Study funerary rites of the past and present
Of course, your personal experiences and correspondences with Hades will be more powerful and hit harder than any list on tumblr, so don't take these as written in stone!
References and Further Reading
Hades - Theoi Project pt 1
Hades - Theoi Project pt 2
Hades - Britannica
Hades - Greek Mythology.com
Hades - World History
Hades’ Cults - Theoi Project
Worshipping Hades - Deathwitchenvy
Hades Offerings - @Twelfthremedy
Devotees and Followers to check out:
(please message me if you are a follower or devotee of Hades' and would like to be added as a resource that someone could reach out to in regards to him!)
On Worshipping Hades
There are a ton of posts out there for signs and symbols, offerings and all that. Regardless, I’m making this post because Hades is the God I receive the most asks about, and this post was highly requested.
The Basics
Offerings:
Coins & other money (traditionally gold or brass, but all money works)
Stones, especially dark, jagged stones
Alcohol, especially wine
Honey
Milk or Water
Tobacco
Herbs: cypress, mint, myrrh, patchouli, bay, pumpkin, yew, wormwood, cinnamon, lavender, willow, oak
Flowers: marigold, dandelion, rose, lily, daisies, rowan, poppy, daffodils, calendulas
Oils, especially olive oils and vinegars
Salts and spices
Shells or bones of the earth
Teas, especially blacks and oolongs
Breads or cakes
Fruits, such as apples and pomegranates
Meat (especially lamb)
Incenses: frankincense, myrrh, wormwood, sandalwood, cinnamon, rose, pomegranate
Candles: black, grey or silver
Symbols:
Dogs (Cerberus, specifically), black lambs, serpents and screech owls
Precious jewels, money, metals
Cypress, white asphodel, mint, narcissus
Drinking horn
Sceptre
Key
Helm of darkness
Black, grey, silver, gold
Nighttime
Autumn and Winter
Cemeteries, crossroads, forests, caves and mines
Ideas for the Altar:
Black mirror
Black cloth
Dark stones, such as hematite, onyx, obsidian, jet and the like
Shells
Dirt from outside, or graveyard dirt
Black, grey or silver candles
Flowers (dried works well too)
Bones (ethically sourced)
Representations of any of His symbols, listed above
Money, especially rare coins
Silver, or other precious metals
Family heirlooms
Active Practice
Worship Etiquette:
As with all chthonic deities, offerings are usually poured down. Offerings that float up (such as incense) are less common, but can be used.
Food offerings are usually buried instead of eaten. However, if need be, you may eat them.
Offerings are often buried, poured down the drain, or into the trash. This is done to ‘complete’ the offering.
This is very traditional, but I want to include it for extra information. In a temple with a roof, offerings would often be left by His feet all day and then during at night. Also, since the Mycenaean period, priests of Άδης would rhythmically pound their hands on the ground whilst praying to Him. I will sometimes tap (not pound) my head to the floor while praying in honor of this tradition.
As always, be polite. Hades will forgive any mistakes with a forgiveness offerings and continued respect.
Ideas for Active Worship:
Saving money, and spending it wisely
Cleaning litter from cemeteries, and tending to old graves
Offerings to the dead, as well as money to the spirits of the dead to let them pass on, and donating the physical change
Collecting crystals and stones
Making an altar to tend dead spirits
Studying other cultures’ burial methods and cemetery rites
Donating to burial, mortuary or funeral services
If you communicate to spirits, treat them kindly and help them move on
Ancestral worship
Praying
Devotional poems and artwork
Dedicating items to Him, such as jewelry, a wand, or a specific bone
Working with death energy and dying plants during autumn and winter
Caring for dogs kindly
Reflecting on your thoughts and emotions on death
Helping others who have experienced loss
Frequently Asked or Requested Information
Hades can help with:
Fears about death or dying
Suicidal tendencies
Chronic illness
Money and business
Creativity
Moving on
Releasing regrets, guilt, and past relationships
Seasonal worship and practice
Earth magic and herb work
Recovery from trauma
Spirit work, namely spirits of the dead
You DO NOT need to:
Be a spirit worker or death worker in order to work with Him
Swear an oath with Him, unless you’re 110% sure to commit
Be a devotee in order to worship Him
Only worship Him
Speak super formally to Him
Be someone you’re not in order to worship Him
You DO need to:
Honor Him
Be respectful
????
PROFIT
More Questions I’ve Answered
What are more DO’s and DON’T’s?
How do I know it’s Hades and not someone else?
I want to devote! How can I?
What if I can’t give extravagant offerings?
I can’t bury His food offerings
I feel like He’s not listening
I think I’ve fallen in love with Hades
Easy ways to start worshipping
I’m closeted, and want to devote
More tips for closeted worship
What are some modern things Hades would like?
How does Hades feel about cursing?
I was taught to fear Hades …
What do I even say to Him?
Do you have any tips or advice for someone wanting to become more involved with death magic and Hades?
Are there any Gods Hades wouldn’t want to be worshipped alongside?
How do you pray to Him through journal?
Advice on devoteeing
For more information on worshipping Hades–espeically devoteeism and oaths–you can check out this zine I published about Him, Pleading to Hades.
Communicating with Child Spirits- A Personal How-To
Those of you that follow me know that I mainly work with child spirits in my death work practice, which isn't something I've seen discussed very often on here. So, with the blessing of a few of the children I work with the most, I've typed up some tips/tricks on how to start working with child spirits for yourself!
These aren't really in order of importance, and if I happen to think of any more I will update the list!!
1) Understand your limits when it comes to death work in general- things can get extremely heavy extremely quickly and you need to both keep that in mind, and understand it's okay not to be able to do a ton of death work at once
2) Protect yourself- Personally, I have a few protection sigils I use and hefty wards that Hades/Persephone help with, but what protection you use/need is completely unique to you and what you're doing
3) Open yourself up to non-verbal answers/communications- As with a lot of spirit workers/death witches that I know, particularly powerful spirits can "beam" words/phrases into my head or make me aware of them in other ways. Depending on how old the child spirit is, they may or may not think in full sentences or sentences that you can understand, so opening yourself up to different feelings/fragmented thoughts is more helpful than you can imagine
4) Consider using a pendulum to help with communication, especially if you aren't used to speaking with children in your day to day life- As someone who frequently uses both tarot and pendulum to help speak with the dead, I've found that children, especially younger children, tend to give more clear/concise answers through pendulum than through tarot
5) Remember that you're speaking with a child- meaning they might not understand what happened to them, what time period they died in (or what time period it is now), or exactly what's going on around them. Some definitely do and children know more than we ever give them credit for, but that doesn't mean they fully comprehend death or what it means to have passed on
6) Please don't be super super formal with kids! Especially the case of the younger ones, your goal should be to make them feel comfortable enough to help them in whatever way they need, and there are very few children who feel more at ease when an adult starts speaking to them in a way they don't understand
7) Expect the unexpected!! Children play pranks, joke around, mess around, and generally do things that older spirits either don't or won't. Expect to have to make and enforce different boundaries with them than you will with adult spirits, just like when they're living
8) Listen to your instincts! Unfortunately, there are trickster spirits out there who can and will pretend to be children- so if something seems off or makes you feel strange, listen to yourself and get that entity out of your workspace
9) When in doubt, reach out- there is no shame in asking for help or guidance when you're new to something! If you don't know exactly what you're doing and you don't want to just jump into it head first, reach out and ask someone with more experience!!
Hades/Persephone Discord || Asks
What to ask yourself and consider before committing to the path of a Death Worker. Take some time and consider your answers and write them down.
Why working with animal spirits is great for beginners witches
Animal spirits are often times more kind and less aggressive them human spirits or other entity based spirits.
Making animal spirit alters or shrines is also more easy then making human spirit alters because animals aren't that picky, they'll basically be happy with anything.
Animal spirits are more likely to do as you wish or help you and less likely to turn on you unlike humans spirits or other entities..
Offerings for animal spirits are often times more simple, cheap and easy to get your hands on.
You're more likely to connect with a pet you've lost then a human spirit.
Making a spirit contract is a lot easier with a former pet then it is a human spirit.
Animal spirits are more likely to protect you.
You can name the animal spirit and it'll be more likely to return to you because you named it.
This is just mu experience though
Artist name is in photo 👍
I am kind to the person I was.
I am kind to the person I am.
I am forgiving to the person I was.
I am forgiving to the person I am.
The world is kinder because I exist.
The world is softer because I exist.
The world is beautiful because I exist.
There is room for all of me on the planet.
Magical Uses for Cemetery Water and Snow
Connecting to the Dead with Cemetery Water
The first use for cemetery water is to connect with the dead. Because this water is infused with death energy, its function is similar to graveyard dirt.
Put cemetery water into death witch or necromancy-related spells. I used some in my spirit work oil and necromancy ink. You can also add it to salves and oils (not on the body). Dipping a candle in it (not the wick!) and letting it dry might enhance a candle spell. Add a tiny bit to dampen your herbal smoking blend should you want to go hedgecrossing or divine.
To simplify, view cemetery water as a spirit work booster. Anything you add it to should help you connect with the dead.
Another use for cemetery water is lecanomancy, otherwise known as water scrying. Since ancient Rome, necromancers have peered into water to receive messages from the dead.
To practice water scrying, grab a clear bowl (glass is ideal) and pour cemetery water into it. Make sure that the bowl is not too dark; you want to see the water. Light a candle and keep it nearby to illuminate the space. Some people put a bit of olive oil into the water, but that is not necessary. Breathe evenly, clear your mind, and peer into the water. See what the dead wish to show you.
Protection with Cemetery Water
Another potential use for cemetery water is protection. Depending on the folklore, even imitating water can protect you from spirits.
Rub cemetery water onto your windows and doors to ward your home. While leaving a cemetery, toss some water behind you so that spirits don’t follow you home. Painting certain objects in the color of water might dissuade spirits from touching them. Include it in washes to cleanse your divination tools.
To read more folklore about ghosts and water, read the full blog post.
Cemetery Etiquette
As someone who has been in more cemeteries than I can count just about since the day I was born and has transitioned into death work, I have a list of rules/etiquette that I personally use in cemeteries- and I've finally gotten around to typing it up!
These are just some of the rules I follow, and they aren't in any particular order of importance. I might even add more in the future, but for now, here's a few!
1) Respect everything around you- even the stuff that doesn't seem important
2) NEVER lean/stand on headstones, no matter how stable they look- they aren't half as steady as they look and it's a good way to get hurt
3) DO NOT take any money, trinkets, flowers, stones/rocks, or anything else you might find on/around headstones or grave sites- you can't know what's important to the residents of the cemetery, or what holds cultural significance for those that are buried there
4) Respect the cultural practices of the cemetery you're in!
5) Listen to your intuition- if one area of the cemetery feels better/worse than another spot, listen to yourself! Either stay in that area (if it feels like a good place to be) or stay away from that area (if it feels like a bad place to be)
6) Clean up after yourself/others! Trash/debris aren't nice to look at, and they aren't nice to live around, so clean up what you can
7) If you meet any child spirits, play with them! As a death witch who mostly works with child spirits, they want to play more than you know- even something so simple as rolling a ball around or telling a cheesy dad joke goes way further than you'd ever expect
8) Honestly, play/laugh/tell jokes/have fun within the walls of the cemetery! Spirits are lonely more often than not- acting like a normal, regular, human person (while still being respectful) makes them feel better than you could imagine
9) Don't speak ill of the dead, regardless of if they're buried in that cemetery.
10) When you enter, greet the cemetery as a whole and say hi to the spirits within. Similarly, when you exit, say goodbye to the cemetery and the spirits- especially the ones you've talked to
11) Put your phone on silent and don't use it if you don't have to!
Hades/Persephone Discord || Asks
Ways to connect with death
《Tips from a death witch》
Death is a divine force to say the least. The large equalizer that does not discriminate, everyone has to meet their end someday. As a death witch, I work with the power of death and spirits in order to help them move on, and make my own life beneficial. If you are a death witch or simply wish to get closer with your own mortality, here are ways to incorporate death magick in your day to day life!
——— 🌿
💫 Visit graveyards! The easiest way to get known to death is to tread on its domain every now and then. Sit by the graves, read their names, let their memory live on. Make sure your graveyard etiquette is on point, some spirits do not like being disturbed.
💫 Be aware of your own mortality. It can be depressing to some, but as the saying goes, "memento mori". Remember you will die someday, so accept that fact and live your life to the fullest.
💫 Research death itself. The symbolism behind flowers, herbs, foods... how death is treated in different cultures, what certain symbols seen on graves mean,... death is everywhere, although we may not be aware of it until we actively search for it.
💫 Research deities of death. If deity worship is your cup of tea, research deities that are tied to death. Every culture has them, so you won't have to look far to find a few.
——— 🌿
Helpful tip from a death witch:
When going to new places to talk to the spirits there, try saying “good morning/afternoon/night”.
Depending on when they died, they might still view “hey/hi/hello” as an abrasive grab for their attention instead of a greeting.
Extra brownie points if you bring food and/or alcohol or cigarettes. Tho keep in mind many of todays foods are severely over seasoned to people before us so try and keep it relatively “bland” hence why I suggest the tried and true alcohol/cigarettes.
{ETSY}
Beginner's Guide to Death Magick
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Content Warning for Death and The Dead
─•✦•─
What is Death Magick ?
─•✦•─
Death Magick is the use of the death in your craft. The death can be a physical representation but it does not have to be. Although the exact origin is hard to pinpoint, this practice has been in many different cultures and religions for many years.
As Death Magick is very versatile, each practitioner has a different way of going about it. Death Magick can include, but not limited to, working with ancestors, spirit work, bone work, cemetery work, deceased animals/insects, dead/dying plants, Necromancy and more. Death Magick can help with overcoming death related trauma.
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Necromancy is a Type of Death Magick
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I often read and hear people use Death Magick and Necromancy interchangeably. Necromancy is the art of divination with the dead. While Death Magick contains all other forms of working with death energy and death. Not every Death Witch is a Necromancer but every Necromancer is a Death Witch.
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Graveyard Etiquette
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While not every witch partakes in going to graveyards, for many practitioners it is a huge part of their craft. A very basic explanation is the guidelines set in place to ensure you respect the dead as well as protect yourself from the spirits that inhabit the graveyard. Respect should be given to living and the dead equally.
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Is Death Magick Demonic or Evil ?
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No and no. Death Magick being an evil practice is a misconception. While a witch may work with demons not every practitioner has a desire to/needs to. Death Magick has been used for a lot of good as well. A portion of Death Witches use Death Magick to assist spirits in being laid to rest.
─•✦•─
Can You Practice Death Magick ?
─•✦•─
Yes ! Death Magick is open to anyone and everyone regardless of race, gender or religion.
Working In Graveyards & Graveyard Etiquette🕯
Why Incorporate Graveyards?
Graveyards have always been associated with the supernatural and metaphysical. In both ancient and modern cultures, funerary rights and the dead have always held great significance in society. When working in these spaces, the most important thing to remember is respect. The dead are not as mutable as the living and it may take longer to rectify a mistake and earn their trust again than it would have been to learn the proper etiquette from the start.
Which begs the question, why work in these spaces and with these spirits? Well lots of reasons, some people choose to only work in graveyards that they have a direct ancestral connection with (ie. family members or distant relative are buried there). Others, like myself, find it a good way to honour the local spirits. Even spirits of people you don't know and have no connection too are worth honouring. Some people believe that since all of humanity has a common ancestor, we are all related and so even cemeteries you have no direct connection to, are connected to you by our common ancestor (another reason I am quite fond of). Maybe you just think it's cool, which is valid. Whatever your reason, just make sure you have one and are not going there with insincere intentions.
What is Graveyard Etiquette?
Graveyard etiquette are the ways in which we should behave when entering and visiting a graveyard in order to be respectful to those resting there. Although there are general rules of thumb which many witches follow, as you develop a relationship with a particular graveyard, those customs can change. Here are some I like to follow:
Leaving an offering- I always bring an offering of coins or flowers. If I'm visiting a graveyard that I've never been to before, I will leave coins at the gate, for the guardian and at some of the older and unkept headstone (also graves of young children if I find any). During regular visits, I leave offerings with the guardian and at headstones of spirits I've developed a relationship with.
Walking the entire graveyard- this is not something I do every time but I like to walk around the entire site and introduce myself especially if I plan on having a working relationship with the spirits there (this may be more difficult for larger sites, I recommend picking an new area each time you visit if that is the case).
Entering and leaving through the same gate- this is not one I stick to every time if I know the spirits really well. If I've never visited before I will always leave through the same exit that I entered from.
Throwing salt or spinning- I heard this one from ChaoticWitchAunt (on TikTok) and it's something that I've just always done. They recommended spinning around three times before leaving to prevent spirits from following you home. I've also thrown a bit of salt over my left shoulder outside the entrance for the same purpose (beware: salt is not good for the earth). This is definitely something that just resonated with me after a bad experience and that's why I continue to do it.
A Note on Necromancy & Death work:
Necromancy is often a term used in many scary movies and cult fiction. It is actually a form of divination which utilizes the dead. Anyone can learn necromancy however it is an integral part of death work. Death worker (practitioners who practice death work) are involved with crossing spirits over. The job requires some level of mediumship abilities and can be very taxing on your mental health. Some death workers take on the lingering emotions of the deceased (pain, fear, anger, etc.) in order to help that spirit. Death work is much more than the small bit that I've described but it is important to note that the path is not for everyone. You can still work in cemeteries and utilize necromancy without doing death work (& a big thank you to the death workers who continue on their path despite the toll it takes, we love you!).
*All images are from Pinterest*
A Guide to Graveyard Work
One of the earliest introductions I had to spirit work as a baby witch was graveyard work. In short, this practice involves building relationships with the deceased spirits of a graveyard, by communicating, leaving offerings and being mindful of their space. It is part of a wider practice known as death work, but this focuses specifically on how to enter and respect what is essentially the 'home' of the spirits you are working with. You can further build on your practice from this.
This is a handy guide to the different aspects of the practice, looking into the appropriate offerings and etiquette, written with a lot of love.
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
Graveyard Etiquette
There are rules you must follow in graveyards, whether for your personal safety, out of politeness, or following the law of your country. Sometimes these overlap. But sometimes, the rules you hear might be no more than baseless superstition, which there is a lot of concerning graveyards. There are way too many superstitions to list, however -
Some good rules to follow are:
Don't begin this work with the intention of taking from the graveyard or using the spirits in your practice. In the same way you wouldn't take from a stranger, it's important to build a relationship before you ask for things.
Try not to stand on graves where possible, out of respect for the dead but also those mourning them. Sometimes, graveyards are set up so that it is impossible to go anywhere without stepping on something, which is okay so long as you're not intending disrespect. However, do be wary that headstones can fall and the ground can shift.
Some people believe you shouldn't take any photos of the graves. I personally think that if the grave is old enough, it doesn't matter too much. If the grave is modern, it might be inappropriate for those in mourning to see you taking photos.
You can clean up trash, but be mindful of what might be considered trash. Obvious thrown-away food and drink packaging might be appropriate to clean up, but what if someone left a deceased one's favourite food at their grave? Or what if you decide to get rid of a toy or letter left there? Try to avoid cleaning up around the actual graves and focus on cleaning near the gates or in empty areas.
Don't trespass! If the cemetery has set entry times, enter and leave only within those times. Don't jump the fence, and don't enter any areas that are clearly gated or off-limits.
Leave an offering when asking to take something from the cemetery grounds. I don't feel it necessary to leave an offering each time you enter, especially if you plan on visiting often. But, if you want to take something like graveyard dirt or plants growing there, leave an offering for sure. And make sure to ASK. If you feel wrong, it's a no.
If you EVER find anything askew in a graveyard, such as vandalism, theft, or even dug up bones (it happens, I've found them before) PLEASE report it straight to the groundskeeper, associated church, or relevant authorities. It is not your responsibility to attempt to fix these things, or take things for yourself.
Offerings
You can leave offerings at the gate, or on specific graves if you want to work directly with that spirit. You don't always need to leave an offering, but it is a good thing to do when building a relationship and especially when asking to take from the site.
Some good offerings are:
Coins, especially two coins. There is a belief that the two coins are placed on the eyes of the deceased to pay the ferryman taking them over the river Styx. This has been maintained as a tradition.
Flowers. Even better if you look into Victorian flower symbolism for older grave sites and base your offering on this.
Origami. I would often fold multiple tiny cranes and leave them as offerings on individual graves. The best part is they are biodegradable.
I would be wary of leaving any kind of food or drink, as you might attract animals or even cause harm to the ecosystems living there. The same goes for anything made of plastic or that could hurt an animal.
Natural items such as seashells, feathers or stones are great, safe options for offerings.
You could also burn a candle or incense, but remember to stay with them while they burn and make sure they are extinguished when you leave.
Offerings don't have to be physical - you could say a few kind words, sing to them, or even just dedicating time to sit with the dead or talk with them can be an offering in itself.
Protection
I personally don't go into my practice thinking I could get possessed or followed by a demon at any given moment. However, I do think it's important to remember that graveyards can be full of a lot of upset, angry, and occasionally malevolent energies. Even if you don't intend to, these energies can attach to you or be taken home by you and can make you feel off.
Here are some ways you can protect yourself:
Cleanse yourself before and after entering a cemetery, even just by meditating and visualising or by using incense.
Check out my post on shielding techniques, and try to familiarise yourself with the visualisation techniques until you feel comfortable doing them.
Charm an item of clothing, such as a piece of jewellery, as an amulet to ward against negative energies that you can wear.
Find or create a protective sigil or rune that you can draw on something or on yourself.
You can pray to any deities you work with to ask for protection, especially if these deities are associated with death or spirits.
Communication
People who practice death work might communicate with the dead in different ways. They might be clairvoyant, use divination, feel energies or sometimes even just know what the spirits are saying. In any sense, spirit communication is a skill that is very much required in this practice. @koscheys-skull said it best here. You need good communication skills, in the sense that you are still talking to PEOPLE. And you need to go in with good intentions. If you are going in purely with the intention of using the dead for your own benefit, you won't get very far. If you can't talk to and actively listen with some semblance of empathy, you won't get very far. Death work is not an aesthetic, it is not for you to take your emo photos and be disrespectful. it is a serious, difficult and tolling practice that takes a lot of time and refining.
If you have gotten this far, I wish you all the best. It is a difficult but ultimately fulfilling part of spirit work, and if you are ready to dedicate the time and effort to it, you will get a lot out of it.
Thanks for reading! Please visit my tags for more guides, and feel free to reach out with requests for more information. Lots of love.