MEMBERS OF THE WIZARD COUNCIL BEWARE!!!

At least take me out to dinner first.

badunguskablungus

My name is Joanne Helton, and I am 18 years old, soon to be 19 in about 6 days. Me and my … Joanne Helton needs your support for Help My Fam

Okay so uhhhh. I'm in a really bad spot financially, me and my family are Struggling and we need money. Please check this out if you can

https://gofund.me/f1abc8e59

We have to pay rent like 2 more times and then we're done, so any money would be helpful. Please if you can. Sorry if this is irregular compared to my normal posts

#finance #charity #gofundme #help #urgent #furry #wizardposting

Okay so my weird cat homunculus that Definitely Isn't Me In A Fursuit needs financial support. Please consider

child-of-weaver-and-wyrm

Don't worry I found my wizard. All is well.

[ @wizard-anarchist ]

..??? Was there prior context to this?

My Wayward Wandering Wizard has uh. It wandered.

Which, I guess is probably a sign that it works.

But yeah uh. It wandered off. I think I'm on its tail though.

jupitersmusings

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

overlord-fire-bubble

THIS ONE FUCKING WORKS. REBLOG IT.

tiny-kt

this for real fucking works

scroll-of-thought

Apparently this one fuckin works, and who am I to argue with the collective agreement of tumblr. Will report back if good things happen.

killer-outlet

It's the 🧢

I like this one

spiralatria

'minion' -too closely associated with those yellow things

'goon' -linguistic drift gave her a new meaning. i hope her new life is good for her. i miss her.

'henchman' -too gendered. can be shortened to 'hench' in a pinch, but lacks punch.

'servant' -too domestic to apply to all those who serve evil.

'underling, subordinate' -this one only works if they get off on being beneath you and/or you don't properly pay your workers.

'associate' -this one's good for grizzled mercenaries or lone agents but doesn't work good for broad swathes of an organization.

'slave' -same as underling but more intense. really fun for some of the group. unsavory for others in a way that limits the scope of the thing.

'thrall' -only really applies if you're brainwashing them and that's not something i've learned how to do en masse yet

'flunky, toady, stooge, lackey' -these are just insulting, and that isn't conducive to a healthy work environment. imagine going to work and your job title is 'stooge'.

'acolyte' -works for those that worship you, but again. lacks the scope.

'supporter, follower' -unspecific and vague

'assistant, helper, aide' -not sinister at all. just means you're doing things for me. swagless in this manner. could be good if used to describe someone who's so clearly more that as a way to emphasize their obedience via understatement, but that's only useful for a few members of the organization. and even then, 'associate' works better.

'cohort' -untested in the field. suggests an equal footing in the affair, ideal for post-structuralist evil organizations with a bottom-up power structure that's held in the hands of the evil workers themselves. perhaps we'll explore it together?

May I propose:

"Evil Best Pal"

As taken from Scooby Doo(2002)

wizardofthepit

YOU need an ancient tome to tell you how to cast. I simply convene with the arcane and pour my intentions into the ocean on power and get what I ask for :3

happy-little-dystopia

You magic slut, we don't need to offer our bodies and minds to the arcane, we study it, control it.

And occasionally get blown up by it.

wizardofthepit

FUCK THE STUPID ASS WIZARD COUNCIL! THEY DON'T HAVE SHIT ON ME *blows you up with lightning*

You. You get it.

crazysodomite

Absorbs you.

At least take me out to dinner first.

wizard-kisser

My car got powers

My fault. Sorry.

fyi i will be extending some dark tendrils across the sky later today. just a heads up

darkhexqc

The Red ones are mine try not to get tangled please

obeliskthetormentorsfeetpics

i thought we scheduled around this

i know its last second but is it ok if i send green lightening arching into the heavens while all this is going on?

for fuck’s sake guys

magicratfingers

you’re embarrassing me in front of the heroes !

I am going to be launching an attack on the Grand Wizard Council within 30 minutes. Please get your situation under control before I begin my wizard terrorism. Thank you in advance.

-Graculus The Great, Master Of The Arcane

mold-wizard

Okay, how the hell are there gargoyles all over my wizard tower? I know I didn't put them there.

I'm not even complaining. I think they do enhance the look of the place. I'm not upset. I'm just confused.

Gargoyles usually prefer to habitate tall stone structures with small balcony-like points or platforms they can perch on to ominously loom over the ground below.

my wizard professor left me in the classroom alone to finish my test, but the bottle of fluorescent blue liquid behind his desk keeps whispering for me to drink it

should i drink it?

yes

Voting ended onJan 31, 2025

i drank it and now i can lay eggs. does anyone have some good egg-based recipes? i'm worried about these things hatching, but i don't believe in food waste

reprintedatg115

Are they chicken eggs or...

unsure. when i hold them up to the light i see dark omens of the future

Rookie mistake. Anyway you can just cook the eggs themselves the way you would a normal egg I think. Just whatever you do, do NOT hard boil them. Ever.

i tried to make a few into an omelette and when they hit the pan they coalesced into a small homunculus? it tried to run away but I trapped it under a laundry basket. any advice?

How small is the homunculus?

about a foot tall

Give it fried rice. Probably.

my wizard professor left me in the classroom alone to finish my test, but the bottle of fluorescent blue liquid behind his desk keeps whispering for me to drink it

should i drink it?

yes

Voting ended onJan 31, 2025

i drank it and now i can lay eggs. does anyone have some good egg-based recipes? i'm worried about these things hatching, but i don't believe in food waste

reprintedatg115

Are they chicken eggs or...

unsure. when i hold them up to the light i see dark omens of the future

Rookie mistake. Anyway you can just cook the eggs themselves the way you would a normal egg I think. Just whatever you do, do NOT hard boil them. Ever.

i tried to make a few into an omelette and when they hit the pan they coalesced into a small homunculus? it tried to run away but I trapped it under a laundry basket. any advice?

How small is the homunculus?

my wizard professor left me in the classroom alone to finish my test, but the bottle of fluorescent blue liquid behind his desk keeps whispering for me to drink it

should i drink it?

yes

Voting ended onJan 31, 2025

i drank it and now i can lay eggs. does anyone have some good egg-based recipes? i'm worried about these things hatching, but i don't believe in food waste

reprintedatg115

Are they chicken eggs or...

unsure. when i hold them up to the light i see dark omens of the future

Rookie mistake. Anyway you can just cook the eggs themselves the way you would a normal egg I think. Just whatever you do, do NOT hard boil them. Ever.

bards want me

wizards fear me

Falsehood.

subtle spell disguise self as your mom and messages that you're grounded

Legend Lore but instead I use it to doxx you. Uhuh.

i hope you feel good casting 5th levels spells to be mean to someone that is only level 3