they invented gender to sell more bathrooms

She/Her - 23

[indecisivecosplayer]

Can't wait for Troy Barrett to get onto the ice, stare into the crowd and then burst into song like the gay ghost he is

[victusinveritas]

[naamahdarling]

WTF this is masterful, 10/10.

[marjorierose]

Other people have said this in notes, but the Bulwer-Lytton contest involves writing the most absurd opener you can think of and submitting it to the contest. It's not a judgment like the Razzies or the bad sex in books award or something; it's a game. Diana Murtaugh of Baltimore is to be congratulated for this win.

[dragongirl218]

@pangur-and-grim

I feel like you'd have a great shot at this contest

[boringkate]

When I was a kid watching tv was idiot coded and nerds read books, but now scrolling shortform videos is considered braindead behavior and watching tv means you're some kinda intellectual. You might think this shifting assessment of media's consumers might make readers into absolute super geniuses, but no. Only perverts read now.

[aflo]

They asked if I was giants I said bitch I might be

[insaneandlovingit]

You would not believe your ass

If ten million largemouth bass.

[problemnyatic]

desired you while the women flee

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.

Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.

No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Easy carb add on:

Cookie

Fruit (canned or fresh)

Chips

Piece of bread

Popcorn

Crackers

Easy protein add on:

Nuts

Spoonful of nut butter

Cheese

Roasted chickpea snacks

Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)

Small canned sausages or similar

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sugar in there.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

[radiospiral]

been entranced with this screenshot from a smosh video for the past like, month, and i finally figured out why.

it’s the execution of lady jane grey.

[vatio-mache]

the kind of sense of self you can only feel when you are geographically distant from your mom

[softhe4rted]

self-compassion: an antidote to shame mb

[frederickchiltonsdivacup]

I am SO distracted right now

[banhmigoddess]

My one boring tip to anyone in their 20s is to resist the temptation to rot in your room every time you get a free moment. Dismiss any neuroses you have about going outside and "being perceived". Be a dictator about it, plan your hangouts like they are binding commitments. No excuses! Go to the bar with your friends. Be kinda hungover at work. Socializing is like exercise; even if you don't feel like you want to, you should still do it because it's good for you.

[asterkid-deactivated20150106]

tomorrow……… is august„„„„,?????

its augu…….st?? tomorrW???????????

8th monTH???????? 4 ,more mont hs of 2013?????????????

what??????????????????????????????………………………..

[pigswithwings]

women are really awesome and theres so many of them oh my god

[pigswithwings]

we are so fucking lucky theres women. we are sooo lucky theres trans women or we'd be fucked forever and ever

[pigswithwings]

we live in a world with trans women

[mistresssheo]

Tja

Found here 🦋

[translating-german-to-english]

Depending on context:

* well then.

* ain't nothing you can do about it.

* well how about that then.

* you brought that upon yourself dude.

* it is what it is.

* that was completely to be expected.

* told you so.

[translatingpoststogerman]

Je nach Kontext:

* tja.

* tja.

* tja.

* tja.

* tja.

* tja.

* tja.

[balaclava-trismegistus]

Just saw my doctor type "FUCKED FOR LIFE" on my chart then he turned the screen away and stopped making eye contact with me

[veesalienspaceship]

the odyssey and mamma mia may share similarities but only one passes the bechdel test and has abba

[solradguy]

Going to the library tomorrow to find out if I'm allowed to print hypothetical boobs for the GG copybook I wanna do

[solradguy]

Libraries don't fuck around when it comes to copyright law