11 billion crabs

I use any pronouns including neos if you want, just call me whatever and try to make it clear it's me. I'm here, I post stuff and reblog things, and I have no clue what I'm doing

[warriorprincesstramp]

the ear nose and throat being all connected is so heinous

[splatfest]

lets be heart-shaped with mama

[only-tiktoks]

[nu11ifi3d]

WHAT AN ABSOLUTE QUEEN FOR THIS

[fakeosphere]

a tutorial on rescuing someone from an uncomfortable or dangerous situation

[female-malice]

Damn. She did everything right. Yes, this is dangerous. But even a violent man is still human and can be outplayed. Predators rely on a pattern or routine. Disrupt the routine, and the predator freezes up. Once you disrupt them, don't give them time to develop a response. Be bold. Be decisive. Talk loud. Act fast.

[foxes-and-moths]

How should I approach this as a man? I wouldn’t want to make her more uncomfortable but I also wouldn’t be able to physically intimidate anyone because I’m short and un-athletic.

[post-it-free]

Talking to the woman is going to be hit or miss, just because she won't know if you are an "out if the frying pan, into the fire" situation. BUT, you could still go with "thanks for waiting, you ready to go? Oh, who's this?" And if she walks with you, you can say that she looked uncomfortable. I had a guy once ask if I could help with his phone to get me away from a conversation. OR: talk to the dude. "Hey man, can you give me directions to this place? Don't I know you from somewhere?" Etc. Then she has time to escape. There are no set in stone answers, even if you don't handle it perfect, if she gets out of the situation safely, count it as a win

[foxes-and-moths]

Thank you for the response!!

[gamer-crow-deactivated20250412]

Talking to the dude works!

One of my colleagues spotted a woman facing slightly away from a man who was talking to her, who was scary close. She looked uncomfortable and made eye contact. He noticed the guy was wearing a Broncos jacket and nonchalantly passed them both by and started the sports speak to the dude, like "aw bro did you see the defense last night? Hell of a time to he a Bronco fan, right?" And stood slightly behind the guy so he had to turn away from the woman. She said a cheeky "I'm not into sports, g'night!" comment and slipped away to the elevator. The dude looked super pissed but just stalked away to his car.

What was he supposed to do, admit to bad intentions?

Sometimes you don't need to be the savior, but a distraction.

[teal-deer]

Y'ever think about what absolute mad decadence we live in that "vanilla" means "plain"

[jordisstigander]

Anytime someone says 'it's just vanilla ice cream' I have to restrain myself from saying, "ah yes, the flavor produced by the seeds of a tropical orchid, a flower which blossoms for a single day before dying, the second most expense spice in the world. Just that."

Historically, the spices I have in my cabinet are an embarrassment of riches. I have there a large container of whole black peppercorns which I grate fresh over my food. Multiple containers of cinnamon because I forgot I already had some. Ginger, cardamom, red pepper flakes, whole cloves and ground, nutmeg and turmeric. Kings and emperors have not eaten food so well spiced.

I have vanilla ice cream in my freezer (cold! frozen! when the rich would pay fortunes to send for ice from mountains to chill fruit in the summers). I am going to put on my silk robe, fix myself a bowl, and feast.

[loquaciousfool]

Fellas... there's a reason it's so ubiquitous when it's so 'rare.' 'Vanilla extract' is derived from beavers. It's bonkers, but that explains why everything can be 'vanilla' and cheap. Try buying vanilla bean, that is where you'll see the price actually reflects the scarcity.

Putting on your silk robe and eating your beaver gland flavored icecream, yup that's decadence for you.

[jordisstigander]

emperorkitten

@literalshittaker i am baffled that there are still people that believe this. In what world are beavers in such abundance that they're glands are cheaper than vanilla? Yes, the gland smells vaguely like vanilla. It was used briefly as a perfume and to enhance the flavor of real vanilla. But almost no one even does that anymore because it's too expensive. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/castoreum/

Oh my gosh you guys

I have been on this website since February 2015, and I have witnessed a lot of shamings and misunderstandings, and part of me always wondered if it would happen to me and why. I never imagined it would be because someone would get snooty about me taking joy in something tiny, specifically putting on the recycled silk robe I got on clearance and eating cheap ice cream at 10 pm.

Like yeah, I know there are a lot of additives to most vanilla, but they're mostly derived from other plants and trees. (I actually spent a stupid amount of time researching this post!) That doesn't change the fact that vanilla is a flavoring that has only been widely available for less than two hundred years.

Writing that post was an actual pleasure because it gave me a chance to reflect on a few of the blessings of the modern world and not think about low paying jobs and health care and the fact that the ocean is on fire. So while part of me is laughing at the fact that someone was indignant and misinformed, there's also the fact that someone saw my joy and decided to take a dump on it and it's making me weirdly emotional.

[ilsa-fireswan]

I went to the notes because I got so excited about “plain” flavors. Like. Do you Know?!? Can you Get It?!? The whole idea that I have access to So Many pure flavors and that I have the option to PREFER a single flavor food.

Vanilla ice cream! Pistachio ice cream! Strawberry ice cream!

My meat doesn’t have to be salted or smoked!

My potatoes can be thrown out if they start to sprout!

I have eight different kinds of sugar in my pantry right now!

If I take a notion to try a new spice from the other side of the planet, I can just order it at some Global Shopping Website and have it in my hands in two days or less!

Amazing!

I can have enough strawberries in my fridge that sometimes I forget to eat them!!! Can you picture it? Have you ever grown strawberries? Have you seen some Medieval-esque movie where the Queen takes a bite of a single perfect strawberry and the camera just… lingers? THATS IT! That’s the experience when you have them in your garden. You won’t grow enough in your patio garden to top waffles for the whole family. You won’t grow enough to eat some and also make strawberry jam. Strawberries are decadence and a luxury!

Asparagus! I can go to the grocery store and buy enough to serve it as an entree if I want to! Again, have you grown asparagus? I almost bought a house I couldn’t afford because the seller had put in about half an acre of asparagus. It was mature! I could have harvested enough to cook with a family meal! For two weeks in the year I could have had fresh asparagus! I still have fantasies about that asparagus!

Mangos and almonds! Cherries and ginger! Mint and cocoa! Vanilla and durian! Rice AND wheat AND millet AND corn! All in the same kitchen at the same time!

Embarrassment of riches. I love that phrase. I try to keep my absolute wealth - both in a historical and in a modern global context - in mind every time I work in my kitchen. There are people in the world right now who don’t have the concept of a recipe because they don’t have the concept of choosing what you eat. There are people in history who don’t have the concept of mocking “plain vanilla” because it’s amazing and awesome and brilliant that it even made it to our kitchens.

Thank you for reminding me. Thank you for helping me be thankful. Be joyous! Be mindful! Be happy in the world!

[helloohart]

Caravaggio living paintings by Ludovica Rambelli Theater

[johnthestitcher]

This never ceases to amaze me, no matter how many times I’ve seen it.

[normal-horoscopes]

MAYBE YOU CANT LOVE NATURE FOR ITS INHERENTLY PREDATORY NATURE BECAUSE YOU ROMANTICIZE PASSIVE ENJOYMENT OF A PASSIVE NATURAL WORLD.

I AM BEING HUNTED BY WOLVES.

I CALL THAT ACTIVE PARTICIPATION IN THE ENVIRONMENT AND I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE.

[cecillias-garden]

Caretaker, might I ask how you're managing to outrun them and still be posting?

[normal-horoscopes]

VOICE TO TEXT ALL TERRAIN HEELYS

[homeiswherethewitchcraftis]

Children need chores, they need responsibility in order to learn and develop necessary skills. I am so sick of the way young people are framing any kind of chore as abuse.

Having to run the sweeper isnt slave labor and being asked to babysit your little sibling doesn't make you "basically a second mom"

Also your parents dont have to pay you to do chores.

[teddyichneumon]

It really comes down to the internet’s all-or-nothing thinking. Yes, there are ways chores can be used as abuse. Forcing a kid to do things they’re not physically capable of, having them babysit so much they really are parenting their siblings, etc. But most of the time? It’s just chores.

My parents did use chores as abuse, and yet there’s other chores I wish they’d had me do so that I could learn how to do them instead of struggling as an adult.

And I think allowance works better as “here’s some money so you can learn how to spend and save,” rather than getting kids into the grind mindset and this idea that absolutely everything you do has to be for money.

[lilaccatholic]

EXACTLY.

Like, I was one of those kids who was given way too much responsibility. I was in charge of keeping my younger siblings alive and keeping the house in order every day after school, all summer, and whenever my parents needed a babysitter from the time I was 12 until I went off to college. They had no other choice during the recession with no family around and no really trustworthy friends to watch us. My parents have apologized for this because they've since realized this was an undue burden to place on the shoulders of a 12 year old, and I appreciate that, but it's still something that affects me to this day. I struggle with feeling responsible for, well, everything.

Some of the things I learned were good. I'm a marvel at getting babies to sleep and I can clean a whole house and I'm a great cook. I also feel like I HAVE to do it all myself or that means I'm failing somehow.

On the flip side is my friend who grew up with a cleaning service. She's a wonderful human being and one of my dearest friends. Cooking and baking are things she gets to just enjoy, and she's much better at self-care than I am. She doesn't have that same "I have to do it all" pressure.

She also didn't know how to clean a bathroom until I showed her how when we lived together in college, and had never in her life done any kind of deep clean.

The constant here is that our parents both failed us and bolstered us, just in the opposite ways. There needs to be a balance. Yes, you should give kids chores. It teaches them how to survive as adults on their own and shows them how to behave when they live with other people. But you can't make a habit of relying too much on your children, of having them shoulder burdens they're far too young for.

If you really need your kid to babysit a lot, give her some money for it so you're not turning her into another parent. Make sure not to gender chores--your girls need to know how to change their oil and use a lawn mower and your boys need to know how to wash a dish and clean their clothes--and have kids do age appropriate chores, even if it's easier for you to do them yourself.

Because at the end of the day the goal is to raise kids into functional, well-rounded adults, and treating them like either royalty or the hired help won't get you there.

[redlipstickresurrected]

Shou Xin aka 手訫 aka Xin Shou (Chinese, based Henan, China) - A group of mischievous little line-drawn cats is pouncing your way!, Drawings: Pencil, Eraser, and small Knives for added texture

[sexboobomb]

Reblog to give prev a fucking break holy shit y’all

[thetursithan]

It also takes art to restore old paintings that look like scabs...

[barillapasta]

[madscientistnz]

[radioactive-mouse]

i’m NOT the yaoi warrior.

[altruistic-meme]

a collection of my favorite tweets regarding the Ever Given in the Suez Canal

[coolbeanscoolbeans]

happy 1st bday to... this.

[modmad]

I personally am declaring this to be a new International Holiday 

[spaghettioverdose-deactivated20]

Happy 2nd anniversary to the Suez Canal blockage!

[blondejaneblonde]

Ever Given Week, 22 March to 29 March (observed)

22 March - Ever Given Eve. Many celebrate by completing some small task they’ve been putting off, symbolically clearing blockages in their own lives.

23 March - Blockage Day! The main celebration. The exchanging of memes.

24 to 28 March - Hilarity ensues. Memes continue to circulate. The best are saved for next year’s observances.

29 March - Clearance Day. Festivities wind down. A more solemn occasion.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

im just not convinced humans were ever meant to be this busy

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

every day i am surrounded by people who need more naptime, and more playtime, and more storytime, and more playdates and parties and sleepovers. when it comes to worktime, however

[spider-shoes-archive]

this website is too fucking easy you make a post about transgender gay sex or the skull and people black out and hit reblog

[stellerfly]

[wizardshark]

Please don't make me choose

[wizardstan]

Choose

transgender gay sex

the skull

Voting ended onMar 29, 2025

[wizardshark]

This is fucked up. You're fucked up.

[charlesoberonn]

[telltaletypist]

what font do you like to use most when writing?

times new roman

arial

cambria

georgia

garamond

merriweather

courier new (my personal fav)

calibri

comic sans

other (please specify)

Voting ended onMar 27, 2025

i think i got the major ones

[telltaletypist]

i realize this is probably not the most exciting poll i've ever done

[idrawweirddragons]

I typically use calibri for stuff like assignments but a while ago I downloaded a font called Kingthings Facetype, which I dearly wish I could use more often. It looks like this btw

[elodieunderglass]

Hi WOW that sure is a font

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

oh my GOD (also my favoured fonts are in my pinned post i dont wanna take up too many lines on this reblog lol)

[paratoxinz]

[guy with the Cant Focus Disorder] why the fuck can't I focus

[paratoxinz]

i just need to focus