pay ur wrent

25, Hi, I’m Wren

[wrenkly]

me- leaves the house

me- gauzy dead wife flashbacks but it’s of my bed

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[ripplespate]

I don't have ms paint but just pretend it is bc no one knows paintbrush for mac but i can assure you it was just as hellish if not worse since theres technically no brushes other than a pixel round brush and the worst looking freaking spray paint

[unsound-satyr]

SCROLL BACK!!

IT'S A PAINTING!!!

[qi-mera]

More of you need to learn about these ☝️

[jadenebula]

[dark-spirit-tamamoland]

they're still terming random transfems as i type this i see which does make quite a statement doing this today specifically

[puppetstuffing]

watched three girls who reblogged its new blog mutual aidpost (made literally 15 minutes ago) already disappear from its notifs. transfems are not included in their pride :/

[puppetedlove]

:)

[puppetvictim]

:)

[tamamowand]

QUITE the statement to be nuking transfems at the current accelerated pace right at the start of pride month like this, isn't it

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[16tinyfrogs]

on watching a parent age

i saw somebody say “what if you’re gone and i haven’t become anything yet” and basically that broke me on a random thursday evening

[theriu]

OP, this is genuinely a masterpiece, three poems in one, moving and well crafted. Please tell me you have submitted it to at least some poetry contests, and if not, please do so.

[niknak79]

[odysseusyes]

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

[eatsleepcrap]

*straightens calculator*

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

[crashingsunlight]

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

[eatsleepcrap]

*straightens calculator again*

Kick the fucking door in

[the-brave-little-blogger]

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it. 

[everyonesfavoriteging-blog]

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here

[the-neon-pineapple]

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

Sherlock out.

[perks-of-being-chinese]

woah.

[panicrobot]

it got better

[twistedthicket1-deactivated2022]

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

[ofthefantastic]

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

[venatrix26]

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.

The light is green.

The door is already open.

[party-gilmore]

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

[lotrlocked]

This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.

[moriartyfortheevening]

Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!

[oriocookie]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

[stavarosthearcane]

Good Job.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

[heroofthreefaces]

do you think no one else has time travel

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

[roach-works]

wow if only you had a time machine

[transdaughterofthesun]

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

[iforgotmyfandom]

:)

[idiototheinternet]

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

[lizyarikus]

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

[anexperimentallife]

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

[what-if-i-just-did]

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Imagine how I feel

[mrsjdavis]

POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It doesn’t have to

[smegorl]

Yes it does.

[type-blaze0]

Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041

[angels-haven-official]

We all know who needs to be @’d

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[rpfofficial]

levels of mutualship :

the closest thing to real soulmates you can find

we fought in the same trenches and have a warrior's bond that carries over into every stage of life

friend i sit next to in every class and pass notes to/whisper to constantly

academic peer/colleague that i respect and have a little intellectual crush on

neighbour in the same apartment block that i say hi to on the stairs

neighbour across the street who i wave at every morning and evening

we're regulars at the same bar

i can't even remember who you are but if you weren't here there would be something fundamental missing

[canid-sys]

which mutual is prev?

the closest thing to real soulmates you can find

we fought in the same trenches and have a warrior’s bond

friend i sit next to in every class and pass notes to constantly

my little intellectual crush

neighbor in the same apartment blog that i say hi to on the stairs

neighbor across the street who i wave to every morning and evening

we’re regulars at the same bar

i can’t even remember who you are but you’re fundamentally important

nuance/prev is bald/tags

Voting ended onMay 30

i polled it 👍 pls reblog for a larger sample size guys. get your mutuals to vote on which mutual you are. cmon

[feldfrog]

[homunculus-argument]

I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.

The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.

[terriwriting]

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

[copperbadge]

When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.

I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.

After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.

[repent-zoomer]

[dogsuffrage]

memes that get you unfriended by relatives on facebook

[technofeudalism]

memes that get you unfollowed by randoms on tumblr

[simplysnaps]

Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)

[momoartworks]

There's a dissertation somewhere about the girl from Bolt being voiced by Miley also being a deliberate choice to comment on children in the entertainment industry.

[aru]

Tumblr Code.

[geekishchic]

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

[princessnymphae]

my friend has a tumblr account but DOESNT know this… life is so empty

[bye-bye-sanity]

I FOUND THE ORIGINAL

[renderofbears]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

We've all gotten just a bit too comfortable being jerks to strangers on the internet I think

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

So I've hidden this reply, both because it's obnoxious and because I don't want the person who wrote it being harassed for it, but I need you to understand: I don't know you. We are not friends. This is not fun or cute, we are not sharing a charming joke together. You are just being an asshole.

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

literally that is what the post is about, I am saying people should be less eager to jump on any chance to be snarky and rude to total strangers on the internet

[pyrobchilling]

Oh shit I just realized I can post the "Gaussian Blur Wizard That Gaussian Blurs You" here

[transgendercyborg-deactivated20]

[zzoupz]

his friend "Motion Blur Mage That Motion Blurs You"

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

Their long suffering associate, the "Sharpen Cleric that Sharpens you (badly)"

[artastic-foe]

Nooo!!! What have you all unleashed upon us!?!

[l4byr1nthz1]

dont forget the chromatic abberation warlock that chromatically abberates you

[vinnybox]

may I add Mystic Mosiac who turns your quality waaaaaaay down

[theo-window]

What did he do to deserve this

[rain-droplet]

punished by the council