heres an ask for u, im curious to hear about your relationship with judaism and in particular religious judaism in the face of zionist hegemony... as someone who is not currently jewish but really really wants to convert, it always makes me happy to see jews and especially ones who seem to be comfortably religious who are openly antizionist. ig i just struggle as someone always searching for resources and community but i feel like everything out there is geared towards zionists or has some level of zionist ideology taken as an assumed default... idk not really a question as much as a vague topic id love to hear you're feelings on and any guidance you have if you do
so my relationship w/ judaism culturally & ethnically is complicated by the fact that i'm patrilienial, grew up disconnected, and also rroma...that said according to my very white, very goyishe mom, i had been fixated on judaism from a very young age - earlier than i can remember. i initially thought it was bc of shared holocaust trauma and so on, but it became increasingly clear in high school and early college that this was an itch that would continue, and derail my life, until i actually did something about it and became a halachic jew....so i did. my conversion/pre-conversion studies took place between 2017-2020ish, and at that time, it was easier (albeit never 'easy' or 'complete') to avoid the issue of israel, especially in nominally progressive spaces. mostly, i did, both because i knew i'd face heat for being antizionist, and because at the time i actually knew very little about history and geopolitics and could not effectively substantiate an argument against a zionist. so i simply didn't.
i began to better inform myself around 2021 and develop a robust and nuanced anti-zionist politic, informed by more knowledge of how settler colonialism works, particularly when it comes to the establishment of the modern israeli state post-shoah...i was fortunate to always be surrounded by jews highly critical of israel, even if leadership wasn't. i don't think it's possible or even necessary to avoid, like, every person who is ethnically israeli - i mean, they are living / grew up on stolen land available to them via indigenous genocide. i live in the u.s., about a 3 hour drive from plymouth rock, so i hardly have room to talk on that front. i am much more interested in working with people regardless of background who are committed to furthering our collective knowledge + firm in our opposition to colonialism, empire, and genocide.
these types of people are much easier to find in grassroots spaces; after all, legacy jewish organizations rely on funding largely from older, zionist backers. anti-zionist shuls are relatively rare, though shuls that open space for criticism of zionism are i think becoming more common. i am going to be honest with you: it will be difficult, depending on where you live, to find a supervising rabbi/beit din that is antizionist in the way we wish them to be. it will be difficult to find a synagogue environment that isn't somehow tied to israel/zionism, especially given migration between the u.s. (if this is where you are) and israel. if i were in your position today, in this environment, i'm honestly not sure what i'd do: if you are a jew, then conversion is a thing you need to do. i know it, i've felt it. but you need to ask yourself how much discomfort you are willing to tolerate in the process, and when, for you, discomfort becomes a violation of your boundaries and ethics.
so....yeah. this is a long way of saying, here's my story, idk about yours. i count my blessings i passed my beit din back in 2020 bc i'm already beside myself with grief and rage enough as it is, i can't imagine what it would be like as a conversion student or prospective convert. stay strong, anon, i hope the best for you, whatever decision you make.
