just keep growing @wwheatley - Tumblr Blog

Freelancing in technical theater means you’re on a lot of different email lists. People need a crew, they send out an email, you respond with your availability. Now, most people start these with things like “hey folks” or “hi everyone”. Neal is not most people.

His openers started off innocent enough.

Then, he started to push boundaries.

And as you can see, it has spiraled out of control since then.

disposablebicycle

Tag yourselves. I’m the anteater in a suit who thinks he can pass.

disposablebicycle

THEY JUST KEEP COMING

He’s even witty in real time.

maestrokitty-deactivated2019082

Neal is a hecking gift.

numeneragoth

this is a very good resource for an rpg character gjcjiscnnsjc

xenosmorch

you dweebazoids can make as many eldrich horrors and weird clowns as you want. im using the emoji builder for its truest purpose

trapinch

thefullestco

bidoof

i’m gonna watch this stupid fucking conspiracy theory documentary until i fall asleep

higgzorz-deactivated20151121

how you gonna fall asleep when youre getting woken up

stability

boyx-deactivated20190424

burn down my school and i’ll promote you

notllorstel

Someone help I’m trying to find the image of a woman in a bikini on a beach with a fish caught in her mouth and it looked something like this

link-lonk

This one?

notllorstel

yes thank you very much for your time. everyone head home

all-pacas

i have a lot of feelings and thoughts about coelacanths today

all-pacas

like… they’re blue

you have this mysterious fish that no one really cared about, because everyone assumed they’d gone extinct with the dinosaurs. an interesting footnote, but one of many, many fossil species.

and later the coelacanth gets some fame as a so-called “missing link” species, a theory which is now outdated (and not accurate for coelacanths) but was really influential at the time. because they have some weird biological quirks – bones in fins! – people were like “oh, they must be a missing link.” so the coelacanth was launched into some fame with the theory of evolution. it got brought up a lot. drawn in old textbooks as proof.

and then a fisherman finds a weird fish off the coast of south africa and calls a local fish expert who had let it be known she was interested in weird finds, and he brings her the (unfortunately badly rotted) corpse and she’s like “well, this is sure weird,” and sends off the bones to other experts, who start to quietly freak out, and rush to south africa, and rewards are offered for another one, any other one, and a few years later one is caught and frozen before rotting.

and it’s this incredible discovery, this extinct creature come to life (the prehistoric coelacanth lived in swamps and marshes in south america; these now are deep ocean fish in and around the indian ocean, but it’s still recognizably the same species)!

but it’s also blue.

not like, muddy blue, or tumblr-default-background blue.

proper shimmering sapphire blue and white. almost turquoise in some lights. this like… muddy, fossil creature. always drawn in dinosaur browns and grays. and it’s alive and it’s blue. just imagine being the scientist who opened that crate to this creature for the first time. you’re already excited, you’ve known about this fish for decades, you thought it was a story, you know it’s in this box. you expect to see the weird fins and the strange tail. you know it’s large and odd looking. and you open it up and it’s this beautiful, shining blue, you know?

all-pacas

[img described: a coelacanth. it is blue.]

astraldemise

Wait, is Claire’s a chain in your Skyrim, or is there just a single Claire’s somewhere in Skyrim?

theres one its in solitude

morrowinds

performed the black sacrament at claire's

notedchampagne

i love tiktok multi-duets where theres so many duets the original video is tiny and its either a masterpiece or completely incomprehensible. its the video version of going on tumblr and seeing this

tonyzaret

aflo

lock. him. up.

bunjywunjy

Bunjy, do you have any fun/cursed facts about sturgeon? They are my favourite fish

sturgeon are probably responsible for most of history’s “lake monster” sightings around the world! these giant fish do sometimes cruise around just under the surface, and from a distance their primordially scaly spines can look like some kind of fantastical serpent, or something.

“STAY OUT OF THE WATER”

these freshwater fish are generally huge, sure, but some individuals have been recorded as north of 20 feet long, which is frankly ridiculous.

add that to the fact that a single sturgeon can live for more than a century and you’ve got a lake-monster hypothesis!

(or sometimes “jesus christ how did a shark get into the Great Lakes?”)

sirius170103

Holy fucking Jesus, that thing could eat me whole and still have room for dessert!

bunjywunjy

WELL LUCKILY(?) FOR YOU, sturgeons of all sizes are bottom feeders that rely on a diet of shellfish, crustaceans, and tiny fish that they vacuum up out of the muck. they don't even really have teeth- a sturgeon couldn't bite you even if it wanted to.

and when I say "vacuum" I am, perhaps, speaking more literally than you are comfortable with! behold, the mouth of the sturgeon:

they literally just cruise along the bottom and Hoover up anything remotely edible that seems like it might fit in their face! HUGELY uncomfortable to look at, but not dangerous.

*muffled wet slurping noises*

yessirree, if a sturgeon wanted to do you in it would have to resort to beating you to death with its mighty tail, like god intended.

(which might happen if you try to harass a big one! these things have a SEVERE amount of muscle, and a sturgeon legally can be counted as a blunt weapon)