sexxy

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

how is it possible for this man to be saying ANYTHING

[norwayspruce]

neither of these poeple are sayuing anything

[its-all-down-hill]

[ayellowbirds]

the face of a bird who fully understands what he did and will do it again.

[monicalknighton-deactivated2018]

WHAT DID HE ORDER???

[bbybnnydddyrbbt]

OMFG HE ORDERED A WHOLE BUNCH OF STRAWBERRIES

https://youtu.be/IvnW89osj0g

[samwiselastname]

berries.

berries.

berries.

[moonlightandmarble]

@zaiqukaj Harpies tho

[zorkat]

Lady: “Alexa, read my shopping list.”

Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list. Here are the five most recent.  Poetry, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries, strawberries.”

*Lady laughs*   

Alexa: “Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing* “Who ordered this strawberries? (yes please?)” Alexa: “You have 19 items on your shopping list, Here are the five most recent. *cuts*  - the next five items? Lady: “Yes please”

Alexa: “Strawberry yogurt, easy water, jeans, Harry, big tofu. Would you like to hear the next five items?”

Lady: *laughing high pitched* yes!

Alexa: “Big, big, red retreat, milk, berry. Do you want to hear the last four items?”

Lady: “Please yes” *wheezy laughter*

Alexa: “Apple, berry, berry, berries”

*Lady burst into laughter* “Ohh hoo”

[alexi-bear]

Big Tofu

[mageikal]

goty

[diarrheaworldstarhiphop]

IMMSCREAMINF

[skarchomp]

#man working your employees for 100 hours a week to hit an imaginary deadline really paid off huh?

[karnalesbian]

the wild west was just like that

[knowtherealcost]

Some of these pictures are of lava rock, and others are of smokers’ lungs—can you tell us how many of each? Even if you can’t, one thing is for certain. Cigarette smoking can harm nearly every organ in your body.

[xactokind]

But can you taste the cinnamon swirls in every bite of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

[color-division]

BNHA: Running gags

[commander-ledi]

i have uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh four personality traits. and they are

chronic back pain

monster fucking

gay

video game

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Recreational cannabis is allowed in 10 of 50 states as of now. That’s 4/20ths of all states.

[memehumor]

[idionymon-deactivated20191001]

the british museum is such a thieves’ den that they know they can’t return anything because that would set a precedent and lead to the entire institution ceasing to exist

[idionymon-deactivated20191001]

“the british museum” is the perfect name for it bc what could represent britain more accurately than a huge building full of stolen things

[blameaspartame-deactivated20200]

[stealthrockdamage-deactivated20]

5-hit fucking combo right here

[1dietcokeinacan]

This caption comprises my entire known vocabulary

[creekfiend]

I love to be a homeowner. I’m responsible for so many extremely stupid things now

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

#CALL YOUR LANDLORD FUCK ITS ME. IM THE LANDLORD

i was the exact opposite bc I grew up in an old old house that always needed work and when I moved into my first apartment the landlord told me the bathroom still needed caulked and I didnt understand that meant she was sending someone to DO that so I caulked the entire bathroom and when the guy got there he went “did you……..Do This” and I was like “yes, and why, and who are you”

[creekfiend]

This is great he must have been so unnerved

[twitterlols]

do u ever just wonder how another person’s brain works

[gahdamnpunk]

No Taika slander will be tolerated on my dash.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

To quote Taika himself: “What better way to insult Hitler than having him portrayed by a Polynesian Jew?”

[fandomsallaroundme]

me before v6: yeah qrow is one of my favorite characters :)

me, after v6c4:

[hennuswennus]

salem: tyrian, i see hazel and the others are returning

tyrian: ooh, can i go wait at the bottom of the stairs and laugh maniacally at them while they walk in?

salem, sighing: sure

[sugarsculls]

[supacutiepie]

UH OH SPAGHETIOS

Blake: “Well, at least one good thing happened today.”

Ominous AF dun dun…

Me, curious as to why Brunswick reminds me of something…oh…oh no

“ In another German tale, set in Brunswick in Lower Saxony, a headless horseman called “the wild huntsman” blows a horn to warn hunters not to ride the next day, because they will meet with an accident.”

Sleepy Hollow

DON’T LIKE THAT…