certified Too Much ™ @xanadamn - Tumblr Blog

still love you, of course. order food to your work, make sure it's all the things you love. your bank account is in the red, can't transfer anything there - all the stupid apps you use eat it up. i tell you to stop and - and -

you keep using them.

doesn't matter. i still love you. you're starving, blank spots in your vision. i ate coffee cake for dinner last night. okay. i can't remember the last time i ate anything other than coffee cake. okay. it was free. a gift. you fed me some.

it's good coffee cake

babyfoxcollectionthings

bunjywunjy

ma'am. your muppets are escaping

spaceshipsandpurpledrank

This white man is trustworthy in the kitchen

judasclementine-deactivated2023

@doctorstarlock 's comment has passed peer review

randomitemdrop

By now I’m sure most of y’all have seen this video but I just now noticed this:

Item: wrist-mounted spice holster. The Spice Bracer of Dionysus Jones.

maxknightley

my problem as a writer and as a roleplayer is that I always want characters to do that thing where you hold your hand out, palm to the ground, and kind of tilt it quickly left and right to express uncertainty or a "kinda-sorta"/"yes and no" vibe. but I don't know an official term for this so I always just call it the Noncommittal Hand Waggle

maxknightley

somebody appears to have responded to this post... via the contact form on bandcamp, using the burner email "[email protected]"

It is the sign of the scales. The scales have not settled and they waggle back and forth. Like this like that.

and you know what. I never thought about that before but it's probably right. why the fuck would you tell me this via the bandcamp contact form of all things, and why would you phrase it like you're writing an esoteric treatise encoded via metaphor

kivcraft

zagreuses-toast

modern day who’s on second

official-lucifers-child

“me saw who! me saw who!!!”

wolfwarrior142

I cannot stop watching this video. It’s fucking hilarious and I’ve watching it’s approximately 20 times already

onlyjellyillputinmybelly

Ive reblogged this maybe seven times before AND ILL FUCKIN DO IT AGAIN

labias

Oh my god

headspace-hotel

depression: kill yourself

Me: kill me yourself you coward

carsonjonesfiance

The most important thing to know about the Biden Family is that it’s full of nasty little thotties

himbo4president

Imagine being the president and still somehow the most boring man in your family

feyosha

Computers are very simple you see we take the hearts of dead stars and we flatten them into crystal chips and then we etch tiny pathways using concentrated light into the dead star crystal chips and if we etch the pathways just so we can trick the crystals into doing our thinking for us hope this clears things up.

passworddots

futuristicrunawaygardener

the 70k notes smash potluck post

localstarboy

Watch and Pass on!!! 😂😂💀💩

a-fine-babe

Now this is a hamless prank.

lunalamariposa

OMFg IM KATHY

novi-la

HOW I LOVE IT

smalleststories

i love how everyone has a coworker they immediately call. everyone has that one friend who would save you from the headless customer.

everythingfox

Did not see a single one of those coming

welpjesuisla

defilerwyrm

a. an object reminder that humans are very unusual in being able to anticipate rhythm b. also funny af

tiktoksijustthinkareneat

argumate

okay so that’s at least one person who would have no problem if they got sent back to medieval times, the guild hall absolutely going off to this mashup

quasi-normalcy

@honey-wine-and-time

nyxetoile

Husband: That tune is really familiar.

Me: It’s the Pirates of the Caribbean theme.

Him: Ah.

Me: Mashed with Carol of the Bells. On a harp.

Him: *stares*

Me: Everything is on the internet somewhere.

eatelonmusk-deactivated20231217

hmm no wikipedia i didn't know that. i mean that's pretty high praise tho how impressive could it beOH GODDAMNIT IT'S THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE

archouai

[ID: screenshot of a Wikipedia factoid that reads, “Did you know that Script Ohio has been called one of the most impressive examples of American folk art in existence?”

The video shows the Ohio State University Marching Band performing its traditional Script Ohio routine, in which the drum major leads the band single-file to form an enormous cursive Ohio on the field. The crossovers require absolute precision timing. It is a FEAT. At the end, the drum major leads out a sousaphone player, who kind of high-kicks his way to dot the I. (Wikipedia calls it a “bounding goose-step.”) He gives a sweeping bow to each side of the stadium. The band then sings “Buckeye Battle Cry” while accompanied only by the sousaphone. Here’s the Wikipedia article, which has a much better description than mine. ]